At the lowest point of my life!

HI, I'm Melissa, and I'm sorta new at calorie count.  I've tried diets and working out before, but never kept up with it.  I am at my lowest point in my life right now and feel like giving up, but I know I can't.  I'm not sure what to do or how to do it to lose this weight.  I was diagnosed two years ago with Crohn's disease and had actually lost 80 lbs in 32 days because I was so sick and in and out of hospitals.  I was on all kinds of meds and steroids.  My doctors finally found a medicine that works for me in February of 2009, chemotherapy.  So, because I haven't been able to eat pretty much at all before this medicine, I never gain weight, I just lost it all.  But now that I'm on it, I'm able to eat ANYTHING, and I've put on 80 lbs since February.  I'm at the heaviest I've ever been.  I just don't know how to get motivated and out of this sort of depression and "woa me".   I am a stay at home Army wife and I homeschool my three children, so it is kind of hard to get any time for myself and work out and eat right.  I'm stressed all the time and need help.  Any advice would be appreciated.  I just need to know I'm not alone!  Thanks

Melissa

Hi Melissa, 

You're not alone, I can tell you that.  There are so many of us working towards the same goal.  The best advice I can give you right now is:

1. Log everything (especially when you don't want to)

2. Drink  a Lot of water

3.  Move more

4. If you fall off the horse get right back on again. 

Good Luck and we're all here with you. 

Amy

Whatever you do, do not give up!!  You CAN do this and you ARE worth it!!  While I admit, Im new at this too so by no means an expert, my advice is to make one change at a time and of course, what it comes down to is eat less and move more!  Good luck!!

Hi Melissa; Welcome!

I'm very sorry to hear about your circumstances .

I have one observation that may help you:

When you lost all that weight due to illness. a great percentage (if not all) was muscle. So what I suggest is to try to get some exercise into your life. I know it's hard, but it will do 2 things for you.

1: It will make you feel better and more positive.

2: it will help restore the muscle that you lost so you can burn calories. (The 80lbs that you said you gained since Feb. is most likely all fat)

I hope this helps. Hang in there.

You came to a good group. There are a lot of people here who have "been there done that" and will try to help you.

Hi Melissa. Sorry to hear you are feeling so down. My suggestion would be to talk to your doctor about eating healthy. Your body has been through a lot! No wonder you are stressed.

How about adding some activity to your school day? Public school kids have phy ed, yours can too. Even of its just walking. 

Good luck

Hi Meslissa,

I am pretty new at the website too and I hope you continue to come back everyday.  I how found it to be a really active site and no  matter what I am feeling, someone out there seems to understand. 

 I know a little about Crohn's disease, but just enough to know it is serious and no picnic.  I was wondering now that you can eat anything, if you would be open to trying to find a diet that is really healthy for you.  A diet that is low in refined carbs and high in fresh fruits,veggies,whole grains, and lean protein.

  I think it would be hard after being denied food for so long to jump in their and make the healthy choices, but I would think it would help to heal your digestive system.  I have had a really bad bout of diverticulosis which was so painful, and I am thinking that maybe what you have battled daily was a long term version of what I experienced.  I hope your medicine continues to work for you.  Try each day to count your blessings for this remission you are having.  It might help a lot.  I know when I am down if I try to push myself to see all that is good in my life it does pick up my mood. 

 And although my kiddo are grown, I might suggest that you try to find a few outside activiites to do with your kids so you can all get some exercise.  Is your hubby around enough to allow you to go for a walk 2 or 3 times a week.  I have a new internist who swears that yoga and yoga breathing, even by itself is very healing to the body and will promote health. 

 I also heard Dr. Oz say one day that of all the things in our life that lead to disease, stress is the absolute worse.  I was pretty suprised by that, but I really think he is right.  Our minds can really make us ill, but our minds can also go a long way to making us well.  Good Luck, I hope i have said at least one little thing to help.  I will keep you in my prayers.  I know that your struggle has taken alot of courage.

Thank you so much, I really appreciate the help!!

Well first off I want to say thank you!  And yes, my condition is perminant and long term.  My Crohn's disease was brought on by stress, go figure.  I have to say that I do stay active, maybe not as much as I should be.  We as a family do a lot of activities on the weekends when my husband is home, we walk, hike, play ball, anything and everything, and the weird thing is, I'm not out of breath when I do these things, I actually feel pretty good, it's just trying to do them more often through the week.  My husband is home through the week for the most part, he goes to work at 5am and gets home around 6-7pm, so it's hard to really do anything.  I know what I NEED to do, it's just getting my big butt up and doing it, lol.  I need motivation.  I used to walk with friends and stuff, but we just PCS'd here from Kentucky, and I don't know anyone.  I'm the type of person that needs someone to work out with, but I'm definitely going to try much harder than I have.  Thanks to all of everyone's support and helping me!!  I really appreciate it!!!!

As a former military wife, I can guide you a few ways.

There should be a FREE dietitian available to you are the base hospital. You probably don't even have to see your doctor, just call up the hospital get connected to the dietitian and make an appointment.

There should also be some sort of Army Family Readiness Group (FRG) with your husband's unit a/k/a wives group. I was never one for socializing with those women, but i did it anyway cause for every 10 i thought were crazy there was 1 that was ok :)

Also, there should be some sort of church on base that does weekly, bi weekly, or at the minimum monthly "wives get together". They usually offer free child care, and mostly you just sit around playing games, like... I forget which game is popular, something with dice? Anyways...

There should also be a child care center that offers 1 friday a month childcare for "mom and dad's night out" Its was like $3/hr for all kids at Fort Benning for 4 hrs 1/month ($12 not bad at all!)

I am going to take a guess and say you do not live on post? If not, it might make it harder to get to things on post. However, most other families about the same rank are going to live nearby. I would check out yahoo groups (army wives frequent them on many bases) and is GREAT for meeting women and will be easy to find a work out buddy.

As for this site: USE THE FOOD LOG! It is so awesome and helpful. Log everything. Everything. Make a meal plan for yourself, and not just eat left overs that the kids don't eat you don't have to make seperate meals for yourself either, you can eat the same things, smaller portions, and add healthier options (salad!)

And lastly.... hang out with us in this group, we are awesome :)

See, here's the problem, we only have one vehicle and I live 30 minutes away from base, and my husband works from 5am to 6pm, so it is hard for me to even get to the doctor.  Another thing that is really hard for me is the diet situation, because of my disease, I'm not able to digest raw vegies and certain meats and foods, I do however eat these, but at moderation, and I do pay for it at the end of the day.  I'm still learning what I can and can not eat with this disease, everyone's different.  I do think that my problem is portion control, and excercise regularly.  As far as the FRG, that's a no-go.  There is litterally only one person in the FRG because it is that bad.  Thanks for the input and the encouragement, I really appreciate it!!!  I think you all have me really motivated now and know that I'm NOT alone in this!  Can't wait to start my exercise routine and food log tomorrow morning!!! Thanks everyone!!

Melissa - Hello and welcome to the most supportive and caring group I have ever seen. Stick with us and we'll get you there while you are helping get us there.  I knew someone one with Crohn's disease and I feel for you, what a horrible disease!!!!!

How old are your kids? I agree with what someone else said about incorporating your exercise into their school day. You could work on all kinds of physical fitness things. Use your food plan to help teach them about good nutrition as well. They might even be able to help you with meal planning, etc. By the way, there are home schooling cooperatives out there these days where you might be able to meet other moms and maybe find a workout buddy. The way most of these work is that someone who is really good at y takes all the kids for a lesson it that and then you take them for x and someone else good at z takes them for that. This gives everyone some time for themselves. I don't know where you are, but you should be able to find out if there is one in your area with a google search.

I'm betting anything with a high fiber content is a no no for you right? That makes finding food that will fill you up and keep you filling full that doesn't have a ton of calories is difficult. One thing I might suggest for those between meal cravings is sugar free gum - if you are not one of those people for whom gum makes them feel hungrier. It works for me - fools my body into thinking I'm eating and takes care of the sweet tooth too.

You are in my prayers as well.

Blessings,

Sunni

I did the one car thing too... choices are: drive him to PT in the morning and keep the car, or... probably for all the women in your exact situation there are equal women in the same boat PLUS they have two cars and would kill to do the driving if it meant having a gal pal :)

seriously, check out yahoo groups for your area, as well as meetup.com military wives use that a lot also.