Being made to feel guilty for watching what I eat

Tonight I was out with friends, and I got badgered for not drinking... I told them I had to work early, even though I don't,just so they wouldn't bother me about not wanting to consume the calories in liquour.  I thought I had escaped their comments for the night, but no... Even though I know it wasn't directly pointed at me, most of my friends know I'm on a diet, counting calories, and they started having a whole conversation about how they have never counted anything they ate, and never cared.  It went on for awhile and I just sat there and said nothing, cause I"m tired of explaining why I want to be thinner.  I just thought it was kinda a low blow, since they were clearly talking around a subject that they have been bugging me about for awhile, and trying to imply that calorie counting is ridiculous.

that's a shame... but don't let them get to you, in the end you will only be healthier and stronger for it. but you are very pretty as you are now :)

take care.

People are weird. And chicks, well, they are catty. Dont worry about it. As long as you know you are healthy, you are losing weight correctly, just let those comments roll off of you. All that nasty food that your friends are chewing up will hit them when they have kids or their metabolism slows down.

Take it from me, and I've been down the road and back, sweetie. 

This comment:

"and they started having a whole conversation about how they have never counted anything they ate, and never cared. "

I'll tell you what.  They are pretty young yet I'd be willing to bet, and there WILL come a day when that behavior will have to stop.  All my life I was a freakin bean pole and ate whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted.   But, at age 25, the world shifted and I wasn't prepared to deal with it.   I wish I had done what you are doing now.  They will not be able to continue with these eating habits  their entire lives.  You have already learned something they clearly haven't -- to pay attention to your body, to take care and to be aware of what foods you put in your body and know the results of it.  You are way way ahead of them. 

You just mind your business, taking care of yourself and know you are doing the right thing.  Someday those chickies are going to wake up one day and realize things are out of control and not sure how to deal with it.

baby_c, that sucks.  You know, you're doing something great--responsible, healthy, and mature--for yourself by being aware and setting your own limits. 

Maybe your "friends" (and are they really friends if they're digging at you and dealing low blows??) just aren't that far along in their own lives. . . and, maybe like a lot of college students (I'm a college prof and was like this myself somewhat as an undergrad), they all just want to be alike and go along with the group--you know, the "lemming" syndrome. 

Or, maybe as sandy and always have pointed out, maybe they're jealous because you're pretty AND smart AND getting healthy, and they aren't.  They may think calorie counting is ridiculous, but some people think wearing a seatbelt is ridiculous, and I know at least 3 people who wouldn't be alive today if they hadn't had one on.  Know what I mean?? 

Anyhow, I'm proud of you for doing what is healthy and you know is right.  Keep up the good work!!  :D

Hang in there!

Hey you can look at it this way... Your getting them to think about nutrition. One day their behaviors will catch up to them and they will be where you are right now. Your just ahead of them in the process. Healthy eating is the goal, not eating whatever you like when you like and then later on when your a little older and less active wonder why your suddenly putting on weight.

Next time just say something like... I guess I'm just maturing ahead of you and making changes necessary to live a healthy long life.

I just saw that your name is Meredith, too! Hi Meredith!

You know, you are doing something good for yourself that if I had done when I was 21 I would not have come here needing to lose 66 pounds. I was at a healthy weight at 21, only 5 pounds different from what this site says I should be. I did not count anything, or know the first thing about nutrition. And thus, I gained 61 pounds!

They are probably threatened on some level that you are doing something that they know they should be doing too.

I'm kinda in the same boat, I am slim, and pretty much in shape.  Most people give me funny looks when I sit down with a nice salad, or talk about fibre and complex carbs.  Even my boyfriend sometimes laughs at what I eat, and he thinks keeping a food log is a bit excessive.

The good thing is I have other people that are very supportive.  And they have even started changing their eating habits to become healthier as well.

Just keep at it, I feel wonderful for it, and this site is great.  I know exactly what I am eating, areas I need to work on, and I am learning accountability for any late night snack-outs.  Plus the feedback on the forum is wonderfully supportive.

Don't lose your will power because of peer pressure, you are doing an amazing thing for your body - you're keeping it healthy!!

You know, I too never counted calories in my 20's, not until after I had my babies and then gained weight in my 30's but only about 10lbs, now after a back injury I'm 20lbs overweight and am STRUGGLING to get it off, it's so hard.  I wish I developed better habits in my 20's because I believe it would have helped me now.  So you never know what is going to happen.  They may not have meant to be mean spirited but a friend of mine once said the same thing to me and now, she's about 40lbs over weight, but I still love her! :-)

I think it touches on a bigger issue about growing up. I am totally struggling with how to maintain friendships that were based on partying and eating a lot together. I like to go to bed early, get up early, eat well, work out, and work on making my career happen. My best friend likes to go to sleep at 4AM, drink everynight, rarely work out, eat tons of crap and hang out being social all the time. It's a huge issue in my life and my old friendships are changing and it's hard. but I have new friends who are into the same stuff as I am. it SEEMS like being self-destructive is "more fun" or "cooler" but it's just the opposite for me. And my olod friends don't get it. REMEMBER: MISERY LOVES COMPANY.

I would've replied "I think it's pretty neat. It's really exposed me to more knowledge about nutrition & how I can have a well rounded menu that's not only delicious but good for me!"

ps- it is a low blow & I would've called them on it. But I'm a little too blunt sometimes. :o

Thanks so much guys... I can't believe I only posted yesterday and already I've had so many responses.

I just hate feeling weird everytime I mention I went for an hour long rollerblade before I went to work in the morning, to get my daily work out.  I feel even worse, when I've had a rough day, and eaten most of my caloris at work during the day, leaving me with only a few to use in drinks... it's hard to be a college student and not drink!!  I just came back from my housemates boyfriend house, where they kept pouring me glasses of wine (they work at a vineyard together).  I was counting the whole time!!  It all fit into my daily in take, since I wasn't able to eat much at work today. 

Do they have a gym at your university? The reason I ask is maybe if you went there to work out you'd meet some people that were more health concious and shared your interest about it. Sometimes you have to look at it as being a hobby. Not all people share this as an interest. Some individuals might feel threatened by your participation because they know it's something they should be doing.

So maybe if you found a friend or two that you could relate too it wouldn't feel so bad when your other friends were non-supportive.

Hang in there.

it's hard to be a college student and not drink!! 

*** interesting topic... ***

Well, I didn't grow up in the U.S. and can not recall having that much peer pressure to drink back in my school days, but my husband did.  Through his high school and college years he didn't drink as much as a beer.  We still treasure a collection of his "Do your prom SOBBER" t-shirts.   Ok, I admit, promoting sobriety may be just a tad nerdy, nevertheless, it helped him a lot to grow a back bone and forge his character.  Next time your companions bother you, just tell them to back off.  (but do it ever so gently and tactfully.) 8)

I do go to my campus gym... it's super cheap for students to join.  One of the girls I live with is super thin and was going with me for awhile, but no she's the one that has turned on me.  I've wondered before if was a bit of jealously that she won't be the only skinny one soon.

About the drinking... I don't mind drinking... I actually enjoy it, but at the moment I just feel like it's awaste of calories.  I'd prefer to only drink on really big nights as opposed to several times during the week.

baby_c, you sound like you've got a great attitude towards your health (all of it--eating, exercising, drinking in moderation and when YOU choose to do so rather than to get wasted or as a crutch to be more social). 

Maybe the next time you're in the gym, you could try talking to someone you don't know? Or go at a set time and wait until you see some folks who go when you do and ask them if they want to meet up and walk there together or go for coffee/juice or whatever after. 

It does seem like your roomie is maybe jealous and doesn't like the thought of not being the center of attention . . . . aren't girls great?  Cattiness, thank goodness, does seem to disappear for most with age . . .

hang in there! 

**and, I know there is pressure to drink in college . . . most do drink some--I did--and peer pressure sucks.  Did you know, though, that there's almost a 1/4 who choose not to drink intentionally and another 2/4s (my college was part of a national, anonymous survey of colleges and universities this past year) who don't drink more than once or twice a week, tops, or more than a 2 or 3 drinks when they go out?  Drinking also, believe it or not, falls off after the freshman year.  So, maybe your friends who keep filling your glass are just not as comfortable with themselves or with socializing as you, or maybe they're jealous of your looks, or maybe they're just trying to be nice.  Who knows?  Just keep trying to stick to your guns!  (I know, that's easy for me to say!)  But know we're on your side . . . :D