2500 as a magic number & options for not calorie counting

Hi there everyone, Ive been stalking this website for a while now(sorry about that), and have finally decided to sign up.

I'm trying to recover from an ed and Ive been reading through meal plans and posts on this site. I have recently been upping my meals (with supervision from my family) to what they consider 'almost normal' - for a person watching their weight (up from about 2 years of major restriction and v low cal and small portion meals), but i have sooo much weight to gain (i have a bmi of about 13.5)

I have a definite 'fear' of calorie numbers and find counting terribly triggering. For some reason, I also have a massive fear of eating huge calorie numbers even though I know this is going to help me get better!! Is there a reason that 2500 is benchmarked as the magic number? Does it have anything to do with metabolism? Does anyone know what happens if you are attempting to gain on less than this? or if you have 2000 one day and 1500 the next?

By increasing my meals, i have definitely noticed an increase in my hunger - im hungry especially in the morning, but am afraid to eat more in the case that i just cant stop!! And also that i could out-eat anyone in my household.

Ive had some experience with psychologists and nutritionists in the past but these just havent been very effective. Ive agreed to see a gp this week and get a referral to somewhere new. I have agreed to let my mum take over with some 'serious guidance' (as in serve and plan my meals for me) from this week as a last ditch effort before we consider hospitalisation (which i dont want to do). Im home off work full time to try ad recover and my mum has also taken time off to be with me, so this is my perfect chance.

Sorry if this post makes no sense, i think ive been bottling all this up for way too long!

hi-

your bmi is dangerously low, u need immediate medical help

no one on an internet site can give u professional individual help

get medical attention ASAP

good luck

first of all im glad youve decided to try and beat this . you really are very underweight, im not saying recovery isnt possible at home, at such a low bmi because it is , as ive done it . i really think you should use whatever help the gp offers you hopefully it will be a referral for theapy and to see a nutritionist . i would advice you to do the best you can until then i dont know what you are eating but you need to get yourself to at least 2500 ,if you have been eating alot less it will be better to do it slowly say 200 calories increas every few days , so your body can adapt and because you may be likely to go into refeeding syndrome. the reason you feel like you arnt going to be able to stop eating is simply because you are emaciated , your body is starved and despearately wants you to eat and restore your weight this will subside when you have reached a healthy bmi. yes it is scary but hopefully if you are consistant and eat a well balanced diet this wont be a problem . yes 2500 is the minimal amount to gain, yes you can gain on lowe but a. you wont get out of starvation mode so your metabolism will be very sluggish and b this is needed to repair your body  and c. so you dont feel so hungry. i would advice you to be as sedetary as you can you areto at risk to exercise. consistancy is the key it cant be 1500 one day 2000 the next obviously if you are working up to 2500 thats ok but after you increase you should never take out , your body needs to be able to trust you again. try not to look at how much you have to gain . i felt exactly like you my bmi was 10 and now it 17 i didnt think id get this far . so try your best until you see your gp. be honest on how you are feeling and dont avoid saying how you feel because of fear of ip this is your life we are talkingabout whatever needs to be doe needs to be done the professionals know best all my love h x

Thanks for the replies ;)

I honestly still dont feel 'sick' enough to need help (even though i know thats my ed voice talking). I have heaps of energy and can hardly sleep at all.

I will get to the GP this week, and thanks tessa - i really want to be able to do this at home, and knowing someone else with a low bmi has done it is motivating in itself. I really want to be able to do this, i just wish my brain would just be quiet already.

Hey georgieuk,

at a bmi of 13 you are severely ill. you might not ''feel 'sick''' but you ARE.

when i was at my lowest weight [bmi 13ish too] i didn't feel 'sick', but that's because you get used to feeling a certain way and think it's normal- it's not until you start to recover that you realise how normal people feel- much more energised!!

i would say get to the GP as soon as physically possible, i don't want to worry you but at that bmi you could have a number of life-threatening things happen [cardiac arrest etc] if you aren't in active recovery [2500+].

live YOUR life, not ED's life.

alsx

FYI -- you are insomniac because you are dangerously, dangerously underweight. Don't confuse not sleeping with "energy".

You are also in an endorphin loop due to starvation that detaches you and numbs you from pain. Again, that is merely a deep survival mechanism -- the brain floods your system with natural pain killers so you can keep looking for food -- as a hunter/gatherer brain, it cannot compute that you are voluntarily starving yourself, so it assumes a famine and that it has to push pain killers out to get you to go look for food to survive.

And instead of saying to yourself "I really want to do this at home", start repeating over and over "I cannot do this alone".

You need professionals because they can take a lot of the planning and healing process out of your control -- which has to happen because you are just thinking it's in your control -- but it is entirely in the eating disorder's control right now.

If you don't hand it over to a doctor and nutritionist, then you are de facto handing it over to the eating disorder. Sadly, there is no "you" in the equation just yet.

You cannot be counting calories (for you it'll likely have to be well above 2500 in fact)-- you need meal plans from a nutritionist with medical support every step of the way.

Absolute best of luck to you.

Thankyou everyone - and i know you are all right - I am sick, even though I dont feel it - far from it, which clearly is the problem...its strange that i feel like everyone else is sicker than I am (another ed thought i know). 

I will get to the GP tomorrow and start getting in touch with some resources - I know even though I feel like its 'me' in control, i really have no control and no life anymore - all my thoughts revolve around food and keeping 'busy' (even though i cant concentrate on anything).

Is it dangerous to be trying to up calories at home?

Hi! I'm glad you signed up. I am in a similar situation...though my BMI is higher than yours, I am having trouble gaining, and so my mom has taken over to prevent hospitalization. You're lucky that your mom can be so supportive and do so much for you, and I understand not wanting to go to a hospital.  I would aim for 2500 at least, as this will increase your metabolism in the longrun. Your BMI is dangerously low, and you need to repair it sooner than later.  What are you eating now? Do you feel like you could eat more? Are you cooperating with your mom? I have trouble doing that.  

You are right, this is your perfect chance, and the inevitable will happen, so do it NOW! Beat ED.

Original Post by georgieuk:

Is it dangerous to be trying to up calories at home?

 It....might be dangerous.  Many things can happen when someone of an extremely low BMI starts to re-feed. Yes, some have managed to do it, but when you are at such a low weight, it's also dangerous for US to be giving you advice.  We'd feel bad if anything happened to you because of our advice.  We don't know what's going on inside of you.  We don't know how your heart is doing.  We don't know what conditions your organs are in, or your blood pressure, etc.  This is why we stress going to see a professional when you are at such a low BMI.

Good luck!