how do i make these thought stop?

i lost about 60+ lbs over the course of a year. I was eating 1200 calories a day and working out 5 times a week.  then around december i started to fall apart. I started to over eat, i guess as a result of restricting myself too much for too long. I Would eat right 6 days a week and then id have one binge that would throw off a whole weeks work.  Every week. like clock work.  I know this isnt an uncommon problem, but it went on for months like this, getting really bad when i went home for christmas break.  afterwards i got back to school and started seeing a nutritionist who helped me a lot.  she has me not counting calories anymore and focusing more on other things.  Its helped. at first it did away with the urge to binge entirely and i was doing so well, but then i slipped up again two weeks in a row.  I have had one binge free week and i am proud of myself for that but i cant seem to beat this self bashing.  I look in the mirror and i am just disgusted by what i see, even though i havent gained any real significant amount of weight.  when i dont work out, even if i eat right, i feel so guilty and i get mad at myself for being lazy.  I just want to accept myself the way i am but I have sooo much trouble being happy with my body.  I wanna lose ten pounds but i feel like i cant do it.  I guess I just needed to vent... but if anyone has tips on how to stop the self critique i would appriciate that..

I just wanna be happy with my body but it's a hard thing to master...

there is a technique called Thought Stopping that could be helpful: when you notice yourself being critical or mean to yourself picture a huge red stop sign. The sign could even come screeching to a halt right in front of your forehead and be glowing bright red and blinking the words "STOP STOP STOP". And then deliberately switch your thought and activity to something else.

also, practice being nice to yourself to replace being mean to yourself. make a list of things you like about yourself --not weight related, and things your body allows you to do that you are thankful for. and--tho it feels silly at first--tell them to yourself in your head. after awhile it gets easier. you could also ask a close friend or sibling to help you think of nice things about yourself. for example: i like that i'm very compassionate, i'm very good at detailed work. im thankful i can use my body to enjoy a nice leisurely walk smelling the summer night air with my puppy.

I just have to say, that I just looked at your pictures and you are SO beautiful!!!  In my opinion, you don't need to lose 10 pounds at all!! You already look thin and losing ten more pounds will not "solve" any problems you feel like you have with your body, you will just keep finding more (I do this too...it sucks).  Maybe you just have a mental image of yourself that is different from what you look like to others.  If you were heavier before, do you think you possibly still view yourself that way?  Because other people will not, that's for sure.

Maybe you are binging because you are eating too little (1200 is not very much!) and you are stressing too much about losing the last bit of weight.  Could you possibly be happy with your body as it is now?  Maybe you could look into counseling as well, it can help a lot with your body image.  I just started counseling and I feel better already...it's nice to be able to let your feelings out to someone who will not judge you, and can help you understand yourself more.

Good luck, I hope you start feeling better soon!!  You aren't in this alone ^.^

Original Post by xfallformex3:

i lost about 60+ lbs over the course of a year. I was eating 1200 calories a day and working out 5 times a week.  then around december i started to fall apart. I started to over eat, i guess as a result of restricting myself too much for too long. I Would eat right 6 days a week and then id have one binge that would throw off a whole weeks work.  Every week. like clock work.  I know this isnt an uncommon problem, but it went on for months like this, getting really bad when i went home for christmas break.  afterwards i got back to school and started seeing a nutritionist who helped me a lot.  she has me not counting calories anymore and focusing more on other things.  Its helped. at first it did away with the urge to binge entirely and i was doing so well, but then i slipped up again two weeks in a row.  I have had one binge free week and i am proud of myself for that but i cant seem to beat this self bashing.  I look in the mirror and i am just disgusted by what i see, even though i havent gained any real significant amount of weight.  when i dont work out, even if i eat right, i feel so guilty and i get mad at myself for being lazy.  I just want to accept myself the way i am but I have sooo much trouble being happy with my body.  I wanna lose ten pounds but i feel like i cant do it.  I guess I just needed to vent... but if anyone has tips on how to stop the self critique i would appriciate that..

I just wanna be happy with my body but it's a hard thing to master...

you are beautiful...even the pictures from jan are amazing and you definitely don't have 5-10 pounds to go. you are extremely thin as it is, but not gross looking. you look healthy and happy, but i have a feeling you're not happy and it's bigger than your body. maybe you should really think about why all of this started and change the underlying problem. you really do look amazing and no physical change can take the place of fixing whatever is truly bothering you. good luck and just try to love yourself. if you're religious at all, just thikn about how much god loves you and he's an all perfect being. So we, mortals and sinners, should find a way to love ourselves. =)

wow thank you guys soo much for the support..

i really do want to accept myself the way i am, because i know im not too heavy and i know theres nothing wrong with the way i look since i am healthy. it's just hard for me to love my body i guess cuz i was overweight for so long but thanks again, i am going to try my best at it.

I know for me trying to focus on the whole me is key. You are not your body and offer many things which make you beutiful? Can you talk about who you are and things  you enjoy? I feel that when you build those things the outside starts to mean less. I agree that it sounds like your body is crying for food and could be why you are binging. Possibly if you had a better plan your metabolism would speed up and you could eat more but have energy and reach your goals. I can still remember a nutritionist I saw who regardless of needing to loose weight or not you ate at least 2000 a day. She wanted to train peoples bodies to be high calorie machines. Also she reminded me that if you even control your body by 2 pounds you will have to restrict and have malnurishment issues. I did not look at your pics because 100 people can tell you how great you look but if you don't feel it in your heart it means nothing.

If you are having a hard time with counting calories you might look into the Paul Mckenna way.

He has four rules:

1.       Eat when you’re hungry

2.       Eat what you want, not what you think you should

3.       Eat consciously and enjoy every mouthful

4.       Stop when you think you might be full

That is what I do, the weight has started to come off after only a week.

I use CC to make sure I am getting enough exersize, and for the gee wiz factor.

EDIT: forgot the web site: http://www.mckenna.com/

He had a show on TLC that I watched that I belive that you can get on dvd that is really good. The show was called I can make you thin. (I have found all 4-5 episodes on youtube too)

Hi - I agree with the other advice. I just want to add, you are beautiful!! And I'm sure it will take time to adjust to your new size, body, brain, etc. You've undergone a MAJOR transformation. Especially if you were overweight for many years before your weight loss, I think it takes a very long time for your mental image of yourself to catch up to reality. At least, that's been my experience.

And of course, I second everyone who says you don't need to lose more, and to be sure that you're eating enough. As you already are experiencing with the binges, eating too little will not sustain long-term weight loss.

Congratulations on your amazing sucesses so far and good luck to you :)

Amy

I just want to give you a big hug.  The advice on here is also wonderful.  The only thing that I could think of to say that hasn't already been mentioned is this:

It's true that beating yourself up is not going to help anything.  I come from being a recovered anorexic (15 years recovered!).  I have fluctuated in weight over the years.  And it's true in fact that another 5-10 lbs won't 'fix' the way you feel about yourself.  Weight is not what we are as a person.

It took me years until I figured it out.  And what hit home for me was that looking back now (I'm 30), you sometimes think you would kill to have the body you once had 2 years ago, or 5 years ago, or whatever, but at that time in your life - whether it be 2 years ago or 5 years ago, you didn't even love your body then and spent literally years loathing your body.  I guess what I'm trying to say is that you should just enjoy being young and focus on being healthy.  Try not to focus on the 'number', because that number on the scale should not determine the outcome of your day, or your self-worth.  I know for me, I feel amazing and strong when I run.  That's just my thing.  And I discovered outdoor cycling and fell madly in love with it.  All of the sudden, I was working out not because it made me thinner, but because it made me feel fearless, strong, centered, and was meditative.  Maybe you should find your version of activity that can help you with this.  It really helped my confidence in myself and my abilities, rather than what number read on the scale. 

What I am curious of is that perhaps now that the goal has basically been achieved (meaning, you lost weight and you workout), do you feel lost?  Like if you're not working at losing weight now like you did for a whole year, than what will you do with yourself now that 'it is all over'?

You are truly an absolutely beatiful girl.  Please, please own that and love yourself and enjoy it!