Males.....?????

So, I dated this kid for a bit back in December...He was exactly what I have been looking for in a guy. Things started to go south so I decided to make him a gift basket full of things he liked. I took the basket over to his apartment one day while he was gone so it would be a surprise when he got home. When he recieved the basket he didnt call me to say thanks or anything until about 3 hours after he had found it ( I knew he found it because his friend and my friend text me and told me he did) to make a long story short, this hurt me and I ended up telling the guy I just wanted to be friends, this was for my prides sake.

Now I am regretting that decision, and I have been since I told him that. I miss him and always think about him. The bad thing is, is that now he is in a relationship with a girl and itsgetting pretty serious (marriage:()

Any advice anyone out there?

The relationship had already died, by the sound of it and no amount of peace offerings were going to get it back.  I expect he was pretty embarrassed when he found your gift basket.  You said you wanted to be friends at the time and he's taken you at your word...  Telling him you miss him and regret breaking up is a bit 'clingy'... it's not a particularly attractive quality in a woman. 

It's natural to be jealous of the new girlfriend and think 'it could have been me'.  You'll probably continue to miss him until something else comes along to fill the gap.  So get out there and find someone new.  Always look forwards, not back.

Ok a males 2 cent opinion here...forget him...he moved on when it went south earlier...now you want back and seeing its been 6 months its probably not likely to make things any more palitable for him...I know for me if someone says its over...its over...and BTW telling a guy lets just be friends is saying its over...just a guess.

It's over.  Let it go, treat yourself with respect.  If you can find one good guy surely there is another out there!

Consider: "He's just not that into you."

I suggest that you say what you mean and mean what you say on a future note in relationships. It's important to end a relationship when that's what you actually want. Fight fair. It's like those couples that are constantly saying " LEAVE! Get the ___ out.  " Yet: They're angry/sad/upset when their mate actually leaves. They tell their partner things out of frustration. Things they don't want and never meant in all actuality. Some people do not like drama in their life. They'll do anything to ensure a happy relationship. However: Some people refuse to play foolish games with others. Some people are just not into relationship games or those that play them. You played a game with him to keep the upper hand in love. Okay. You have your pride now. Yay? I suggest that you keep it.

Learn from your mistake and move on. He already has with someone that's probably better suited for him. It wasn't meant to be. At some point hopefully you'll find someone better suited for you too. At this point the best thing you can do is be happy for him. He moved on with someone else. It's a good thing. Yay for him!

Best of luck in the future!

also please remember men are men and rarely do they do what we want when we want it.

And sometimes you have to initiate the conversation to achieve the goal you are after.  A simple phone call from you to find out about the basket could have made a world of difference back then.  But since you didnt take what you have learned from this experience and move on.

Adding we usually desire what we cant have and since he is now involved with another person you are longing for the intimacy not the relationship you two had.

I don't understand...whats the problem with him calling you 3 hours later? o.O If i got a basket full of things ...i wouldnt call right away either (i would go eat things in basket! P: mmm). If he waited like 3 days before calling, then there is a problem.... but a couple hours? naaaa

Unfortunately, tiff, there's really nothing you can do right now.  If he's in another relationship right now, he's off limits.  If you do anything to try to sabotage that relationship, any chance of reconciliation is truley gone.

It sounds like you have some mutual friends.  If you really can't get over this guy, have them keep you up to date with how the relationship is going.  If the current relationship ends, then you can make a move, but not until.

And, obviously, it's all going to depend on who broke up with who as far as how soon afterwords you can let him know how you feel.

In the mean time, there's lots of other guys out there.  Don't wait for what might be.  Live your life.  If it was meant to be, it'll happen.

Good luck!

Stop being so clingy, it is a VERY unatractive quality.

I am a male and in the same situation you are in.  I started seeing a girl about 5 months ago but after that first month it became too much, she is constantly sending me messages or pictures and phoning me everyday.

So I walked away 2 months ago... she messaged me, maybe we should just be friends I told her yes please.  Then a week later I got one of those corny messages from her " give a girl a chance you never know what can happen"  and then a day later " one day you will want her and she will be in the arms of somebody else and won't want you etc etc"

I was watching How to lose a guy in 10 days the other day and they explained them same thing.

In my opinion, girls do not like clingy guys(why do you think the jerk always get the girl) and guys don't like the clingy girl.

Move on, he isn't as into you as you are to him...

Original Post by johanb23:

 

In my opinion, girls do not like clingy guys(why do you think the jerk always get the girl) and guys don't like the clingy girl.

 

 i like clingy girls :D

Move on honey, this ship has sailed. 

Johan you can't be serious about liking clingy girls...who in their right mind would want that?  You might as well stick a great big sign on their forehead that says "SO INSECURE I HAVE TO CONSTANTLY BE IN TOUCH WITH MY MAN"

Original Post by johnnypenso:

Move on honey, this ship has sailed. 

Johan you can't be serious about liking clingy girls...who in their right mind would want that?  You might as well stick a great big sign on their forehead that says "SO INSECURE I HAVE TO CONSTANTLY BE IN TOUCH WITH MY MAN"

Haha Read my post again mate, I am opposed to clingy girls ;)

loriklorik, did however joke he likes clingy girls, or at least I hoped he joked :D

why are we even giving long replies.....

simply MOVE ON.  nuff said...you're stronger than this girl..c'mon now...

Original Post by johanb23:

Original Post by johnnypenso:

Move on honey, this ship has sailed. 

Johan you can't be serious about liking clingy girls...who in their right mind would want that?  You might as well stick a great big sign on their forehead that says "SO INSECURE I HAVE TO CONSTANTLY BE IN TOUCH WITH MY MAN"

 

Haha Read my post again mate, I am opposed to clingy girls ;)

loriklorik, did however joke he likes clingy girls, or at least I hoped he joked :D

I wasn't joking! I don't mind an insecure girl... actually, think i think its cute (and I would be able to help her get over it). A relationship (like anything else in life) is a place where you can grow ... if she is in a stage of her life where she needs more attention, thats no problem (and definitely wouldnt hold it against her).

Chances are the problem really comes from some other aspect of her life. Like work or stress or family or future plans and uncertainty (again, meaing its something that she will get over).

Sorry Johan...I misread that. 

Lorik, all I can say is..you've got a lot to learn my friend...and you're in for a world of hurt...lol..

Original Post by johnnypenso:

Sorry Johan...I misread that. 

Lorik, all I can say is..you've got a lot to learn my friend...and you're in for a world of hurt...lol..

 lol what?

There's a thin line between insecurity and stalking...move on OP.

Thanks everyone for all your advice! I never want to be the clingy one, this was a weird relationship because I am usually the complete opposite. The guy is always wanted to be with me and I need my space. So I don't know what my deal was with this one, must have just really really liked him. But I am over him now, all is well and I hardly even think about him anymore and when I do it is no biggie!

You guys are great, thank you!

Original Post by loriklorik:

I don't understand...whats the problem with him calling you 3 hours later? o.O If i got a basket full of things ...i wouldnt call right away either (i would go eat things in basket! P: mmm). If he waited like 3 days before calling, then there is a problem.... but a couple hours? naaaa

 lmao

Original Post by johnnypenso:

Lorik, all I can say is..you've got a lot to learn my friend...and you're in for a world of hurt...lol..

 I disagree! I'm pretty insecure, and can get clingy...at times. My boyfriend definitely does not seem to mind. He has insecurities himself.

I do however agree with your "don't sleep with a guy on your first date" rant you have going on in that other thread. Torturing guys is fun.