Males.....?????

So, I dated this kid for a bit back in December...He was exactly what I have been looking for in a guy. Things started to go south so I decided to make him a gift basket full of things he liked. I took the basket over to his apartment one day while he was gone so it would be a surprise when he got home. When he recieved the basket he didnt call me to say thanks or anything until about 3 hours after he had found it ( I knew he found it because his friend and my friend text me and told me he did) to make a long story short, this hurt me and I ended up telling the guy I just wanted to be friends, this was for my prides sake.

Now I am regretting that decision, and I have been since I told him that. I miss him and always think about him. The bad thing is, is that now he is in a relationship with a girl and itsgetting pretty serious (marriage:()

Any advice anyone out there?

No offense JB, but your boyfriend probably doesn't mind because he has his own insecurities.  When you don't have those insecurities, and your g/f or b/f needs to be in contact with you all the time, needs to know where you are at all times etc., it's incredibly annoying...lol....

Thanks for the props on the other thread....and we love to be tortured...lol...

Guys are just as bad as girls sometimes though, hate to say it. The last boyfriend I had called me like every hour on the hour. He used to tell me that he missed me when I saw him like an hour earlier. Text me minutes after I left his house. I'm gonna have to agree with you. There's a line where you draw off at. It's cool when they call you after a day and ask about what you did. But what are you going to talk about next time you see eachother if you're constantly talking? In order to build a stable relationship you need a reliable foundation, and a reliable foundation is a guy and a girl who are both mentally stable and capable of taking on a serious relationship without staying joined at the hip 24/7.

It sucks to break up with a clinger too, cuz they try to guilt trip you into getting back together with them. The whole "Don't worry about me *sniffle sniffle* I'm fine" routine. BlAh

~Rayjayy

basically you over reacted....and probably more than just this once.....not to much you can do about it now and he probably wasnt right anyway if he pisses you off that easily...learn from your mistakes and move on...saying anything to him would be wrong and uncool..

Original Post by jblarghp:

I do however agree with your "don't sleep with a guy on your first date" rant you have going on in that other thread. Torturing guys is fun.

well i slept with my husband on the first date. but then not having sex is torturing for me. anyway off topic here so i'd better 'get me coat'

Original Post by loriklorik:

I don't understand...whats the problem with him calling you 3 hours later? o.O If i got a basket full of things ...i wouldnt call right away either (i would go eat things in basket! P: mmm). If he waited like 3 days before calling, then there is a problem.... but a couple hours? naaaa

 I agree with this!  I don't think it would have been a problem unless he waited until the next day or something.  Maybe he had some things to take care of and wanted to have some time when he called you.

Also, if you said you wanted to be friends, then that ends it right there.  When I was single, I used to get mad at guys and tell them I didn't want to seem them again and then miss them & wish I hadn't told them that.  Then, I learned to keep my mouth shut until I knew what I wanted to do.... a much better position.

Glad you are moving on!!

The title of the post as it relates to the OP offends me.  Like this was somehow his fault?

Females.....?????

Original Post by trhawley:

The title of the post as it relates to the OP offends me.  Like this was somehow his fault?

Females.....?????

 Good point!

Original Post by octo-luv:

Original Post by jblarghp:

I do however agree with your "don't sleep with a guy on your first date" rant you have going on in that other thread. Torturing guys is fun.

well i slept with my husband on the first date. but then not having sex is torturing for me. anyway off topic here so i'd better 'get me coat'

Octo-luv, I'm with you. I had sex with my SO on the first date. Sex should not be used as a weapon by either party.

Haha, wow...I think my post was taken a little too literally. 
I didn't actually torture my boyfriend! Well...not on purpose?

I just like to wait and make sure there's a genuine connection there. I want to be sure it's not just a one night stand and it's something meaningful.

Now, if you just want a one night stand, that's completely different. I know that not all girls (or guys) feel the same as me. I just have had better luck getting guys interested in me than the friends of mine that have thrown themselves at guys, and give it up on the first date. They tend to get used and hurt...
BUT if you're just using each other....than that works out for both of you.

..yea, off topic. Sorry....
No more posts from me.

I'd like to respond to the backlash at lorik's comment that he likes clingy girls:

We ALL have different qualities that we find cute in a mate. It's absolutely possible to find clinginess attractive. Personally, I love men/women who are very clingy. Casual affection doesn't do anything for me (it reminds me of a regular old friendship at that point, but with sex. Totally not my thing).

And since I am clingy as well, I happen to know that there are men out there who adore that quality in a girl.

Remember, attractiveness is subjective. Anyone who says "being clingy is unattractive" needs to stop presuming that they speak on behalf of their entire gender! Hmph!

Man, people are so defensive around here...lol.  In my experience, clingy women (before anyone singles me out for talking about women I would like to state for the record that I have only dated women because I am a heterosexual male and therefore all my experience is with women although I have had offers to go over to the dark side I have so far declined) are clingy because of an inherently high level of insecurity and that level of insecurity is very destructive in a relationship.  It's not the result of the usual desire to be told and reminded you are loved and wanted, it's much deeper than that, pathological even, and in my experience, has ultimately been a very destructive influence on a relationship.  Clingy is fun and cute and endearing sometimes (breifly) when things are good, everything is cute at that point, but all relationships face tough times, and it's in those tough times that the cute and clingy becomes a tornado-like destructive force.

In my experience anyway...lol...

Oh yeah, one more thing:

Remember, one's attractiveness to clinginess subjective. Anyone who says "being clingy is unattractive" is stating their own personal opinion, and other people need to stop assuming that they speak on behalf of their entire gender! Hmph!

hmm, well like with all terms that are thrown around on cc, clinginess is subjective as well.

Original Post by johnnypenso:

Oh yeah, one more thing:

Remember, one's attractiveness to clinginess subjective. Anyone who says "being clingy is unattractive" is stating their own personal opinion, and other people need to stop assuming that they speak on behalf of their entire gender! Hmph!

Yup yup 

Fo' Sho'....people are too Mutha F sensitive about dumb crap.

Original Post by yummy_kitty:

I'd like to respond to the backlash at lorik's comment that he likes clingy girls:

We ALL have different qualities that we find cute in a mate. It's absolutely possible to find clinginess attractive. Personally, I love men/women who are very clingy. Casual affection doesn't do anything for me (it reminds me of a regular old friendship at that point, but with sex. Totally not my thing).

And since I am clingy as well, I happen to know that there are men out there who adore that quality in a girl.

Remember, attractiveness is subjective. Anyone who says "being clingy is unattractive" needs to stop presuming that they speak on behalf of their entire gender! Hmph!

 

Agreed.. what is the point of a relationship without closeness?  I never understood people who need to keep an emotional distance at all times.  That's more "pathological" to me than someone who's asking like a puppy for affection. 

Sorry all that happened Tiff, it sucks, but yeah, he's not for you.  He doesn't have the ability to care as much as you need him to.  You'll find someone much better :)

Maybe Andi, we have different perceptions of what "clingy" means.   I am not talking about someone who is affectionate when you are around, kisses you for no reason, slaps your bottom, touches you a lot when you are nearby, holds your hand etc.  That's affection between two people in love.  I like that, most people like that, although I do know a couple of people who don't even enjoy that.     I would call it clingy when someone absolutely "needs" that affection or there is a negative reaction.   You are out and don't answer your cell phone,  and you get a blast later on for it.  You are hanging out with your buddies watching a hockey or football game and she has to call you 2-3 times an hour or she freaks out.   When someone is affectionate, and don't have the opportunity to be affectionate, it causes them to miss you and want you.    When someone is clingy and denied that opportunity, it results in anger, depression, extreme sadness etc.   That's what I mean by pathological. 

Original Post by johnnypenso:

Maybe Andi, we have different perceptions of what "clingy" means.  

 exactly what i said #33.

 everyone will have a different perception. but my perception of clingy is just like yours...."I would call it clingy when someone absolutely "needs" that affection or there is a negative reaction." Its that negative over-reaction. Think Fatal Attraction (well without the bunny boiling).