What a great article!  If I imagine who I want to be in a year in terms of health, I can better make decisions from that point of view today.  I'll try it.

4 great questions to focus you on what you really want. I have printed these off and will post them where I need to see them:)

I was just chowing on mini Crunch bars at work during a stressful moment when this email caught my eye.  Great timing.  I've set the candy aside and will now focus on the me I want to be.  This will pass.  Thanks for the article.

I am going to post this on my fridge!

Perfect article for me right now.  I have been debating about going out to lunch for mexican (I really want it but way over eat) or eating my banana sandwich.  I was feeling overwhelmed knowing that I would enjoy my food but feel guilt after.  So I just popped some gum and gonna stay in for lunch.  Not that I can't have mexican food just not when it is consuming me just thinking about it.

This was a great article. I just managed to overeat a meal last night...I felt terrible, way too full. I am glad this is here, what good advice. I like the idea of not behaving in the manner you are now, but behaving as though you are already in the place you want to be. I believe I am going to be looking a little more carefully at the choices I make from now on. Here's to all our future selves and feeling proud of what we do.

I wish I had seen this article yesterday. Last night I over ate and not sure why. I did all the self talk but it didn't seem to help. During the day I felt so good about myself and the way my body was starting to look. My self talk said you're doing a great job, keep it up but I still turned around and sabotaged my accomplishements by over eating. I just don't get it why I did this. Today I have to be more focused and stay on track.

Thanks for the article.

Thank you all for your comments and I'm so glad you find this article helpful!

To frannyc and others who feel they sometimes sabotage their accomplishments:

It may help to ask yourselves, "How can I be more gentle with myself today?" Then find one activity that you find comforting and nurturing. For example, maybe listen to soft music or take a ten minute relaxation break with a soothing cup of tea. By deliberately intending to take extra special care of yourself you neutralize the effects of the self-sabotaging behaviours.

There are many underlying reasons why people sabotage themselves; some reasons are obvious and other reasons are hidden in our subconscious. But in that moment, the reasons don't matter. What matters is how you react. Respond to self-sabotage with loving kindness. This reduces the power of that punishing inner voice. 

And here's another question to ask yourself, "How would your Future You -who loves herself and her body fully - react to moments of self-sabotage?"

Warmly,
Diane

Awesome and intuitive list for anyone who has any eating and emotion related issues!! I love this and will pass it on to many of my clients and friends. Thank you so, so much.

i want long term self confidence, but i want it right now!!!

Love the questions, I follow the same kind of thing, but just ask myself "Do I want to be fat tomorrow?" If the answer is NO (which it always is) then I am reminded that it is the choices that I am making today that will determine the outcome for tomorrow.

Example: Do I want to go to the gym? No. Do I want to be fat tomorrow? No ---- Decision... Go to the gym.

Do I want to eat this cheesecake? Yes. Do I want to be fat tomorrow? No -- Decision: Don't eat the cheesecake!

This was just what I needed to read today.   Thanks for posting it!

Original Post by: klmeer

you are NEVER in control of your body...that is a total illusion.

I know it may sometimes seem that way, klmeer, and others may certainly share your belief.

I invite you to consider that there is a strong and powerful mind/body connection. Every thought we think produces a physiological reaction and when we pay conscious attention to that we can gain control over what we thought was out of our control. Very powerful, and,  in my experience, so amazingly true.

There are many books on this subject for those who are interested. Here are two of my favorites:

Molecules of Emotion by Candace Pert

The Biology of Belief, by Bruce Lipton

Warmly,

Diane

WE may not be able to control our chronological age, genetic composition, (well, usually- lol) or the bodily changes we experience ULTIATELY however we are inTOTAL control of how we treat our body, how it ages,  firmly and totally agree with Diane. Through my life experiences, I have completely changed not just my weight but entire self through hard work, dedication and acceptance! You are in control of yourself and your body. When something out of our control does happen- cancer, etc. we can control how it affects us over all, and when it does take over we are still one within our minds and soul. As someone who has been a caregiver, I witnessed two women who remained kind, giving, loving and positive, even in a Hospice.

So controloing a food craving or dealing with a slow thyroid, etc. is possible.

hmmmm... how about it is put like this- we do have control when we ACCEPT we do not actually have control, but the ability to manage and regulate what we are given. To say we do not have control over our ACTIONS obviously shoes compulsiveness that needs to be helped.

kleemer: are you some type of religious fanatic? or have you not accepted the fact that you have to take some responsibility for yourself?

Try not to use the "f" word ..... it's destructive in itself. careful to not be obsessed with just being skinny, cuz youll just end up bein a you-know-what just cuz you dont want to be "f"

I also wouldn't post negative comments on here calling people "delusional," find your own blog to degrade other's ways of being better!

Amen, thank you and well put. This poor person, kleemer, seems unhappy and I wish this blog was motivational as it should be-

I meant motivational to kleemer because it is CLEARLY helping many!

frannyC, I know exactly how you feel. I have a history of this same kind of self sabataging experiences as you have described. It's puzzling and bewildering how I can go literally from being grateful and happy with my accomplishments to eating the wrong foods moments later. I have even tried talking myself out of it, not using the exact quotes Diane suggests; however, ones very similar but turn around and eat the wrong foods anyways. I wouldn't say I don't love myself or want to be successful with my efforts. I just know it's almost an uncontrollable urge to do wrong.

One thing I have done recently is stopped drinking sodas. I have made a concious effort to not drink sugar. I don't drink diet sodas either. I drink only water and brewed green tea. If I do drink something sweet, it doesn't have corn syrup. I drink Snapple (with pure cane sugar) and this is extremely rare treat that I find I can barely drink the whole bottle. This is the biggest change I've made recently, and I noticed that my cravings for fast food and unhealthy choices have greatly reduced. I truly believe that SUGAR was one of the reasons that I couldn't say NO to impulsive eating. Sugar affects our ability to think clearly and make healthy choices. I know now that I have more control over making healthier food decisions.

Original Post by: chunkeymonkeytoo

frannyC, I know exactly how you feel. I have a history of this same kind of self sabataging experiences as you have described. It's puzzling and bewildering how I can go literally from being grateful and happy with my accomplishments to eating the wrong foods moments later. I have even tried talking myself out of it, not using the exact quotes Diane suggests; however, ones very similar but turn around and eat the wrong foods anyways. I wouldn't say I don't love myself or want to be successful with my efforts. I just know it's almost an uncontrollable urge to do wrong.

One thing I have done recently is stopped drinking sodas. I have made a concious effort to not drink sugar. I don't drink diet sodas either. I drink only water and brewed green tea. If I do drink something sweet, it doesn't have corn syrup. I drink Snapple (with pure cane sugar) and this is extremely rare treat that I find I can barely drink the whole bottle. This is the biggest change I've made recently, and I noticed that my cravings for fast food and unhealthy choices have greatly reduced. I truly believe that SUGAR was one of the reasons that I couldn't say NO to impulsive eating. Sugar affects our ability to think clearly and make healthy choices. I know now that I have more control over making healthier food decisions.

Dear chunkeymonkeytoo and others who struggle with uncontrollable food urges,

What you wrote, chunkeymonkeytoo, is very common as you probably know. It can feel so confusing and puzzling to feel positive and upbeat one minute,  then experience, as you so aptly say, "an uncontrollable urge to do wrong".

While I do believe there may be psychological reasons that some people  sabotage themselves, I also can appreciate that there may be an "addictive" quality to some foods and/or to the emotional reaction to some foods. I do not claim to know the research behind this. And I know there is quite a bit of controversy between a mindful eating approach on the one hand, and a food addiction perspective on the other.

I'm writing this because I know of many woman who become very upset with themselves for the same reasons you describe. They believe they are "failing" if they can't control themselves or "eat mindfully" when perhaps there is something else going on beyond psychology or will-power. I recently have begun suggesting to people to explore Food Addicts in Recovery. Here is the link:

http://www.foodaddicts.org/

A good friend of mine, in fact, has found this to be a life saver. Perhaps it will be helpful to some others as well.

With warm wishes,
Diane

What A Really Great Article!! It Gives Me Courage!

I wrote up all the questions on flash cards, with other ones I can ask myself when I find the need to binge or eat when I'm not hungry.  I changed the focus of some from weightloss to 'health', and tailored them for some of my specific triggers ('am I bored?', 'am I thirsty?', 'what emotions am I feeling?').  Now when I'm in the office, at home or wherever, I can just pull them out of my purse and get a handle on where I'm at and what I'm feeling.

Thanks for this article.

Focusing on weight loss for HEALTH, wellness and "feeling" good are truly what the  focus should be on- (even if there is another goal like a vacation, wedding, etc.) I battled with my weight, self esteem and had a hard time because of my outside self image. It did not happen over night but- letting go of astetics and appearence I work from the inside- the great part is the rest will take care of itself.

Love the flash card idea!! Little notes, cues or other reminders can really reinforce the positive. I used to have a plastic pig that snorted every time you open the fridge- I like the cards better :)

Great idea about the flash cards. I know what I want--companionship and connection. Of course food doesn't give it to me but I know that it increases the pleasure center of my brain, so I gravitate towards that because it's a quick fix. 10 years in a married where there isn't a connection and it's lonely so unfortunately it's a battle and sometimes cuddling up with the ice cream feel so good when there isn't anyone else. Sad, I know but at least I Know that what I truly need and want is NOT the ice cream, I just need to find it elsewhere. Trying! :)

Original Post by: kathyba

Great idea about the flash cards. I know what I want--companionship and connection. Of course food doesn't give it to me but I know that it increases the pleasure center of my brain, so I gravitate towards that because it's a quick fix. 10 years in a married where there isn't a connection and it's lonely so unfortunately it's a battle and sometimes cuddling up with the ice cream feel so good when there isn't anyone else. Sad, I know but at least I Know that what I truly need and want is NOT the ice cream, I just need to find it elsewhere. Trying! :)

LOL plastic pig... I couldn't help laughing.  Still, snorting or not, a reminder of what you're doing, is a good way to focus yourself.  I'd have tossed that pig out the window after a week!  :)

Original Post by: kathyba

Great idea about the flash cards. I know what I want--companionship and connection. Of course food doesn't give it to me but I know that it increases the pleasure center of my brain, so I gravitate towards that because it's a quick fix. 10 years in a married where there isn't a connection and it's lonely so unfortunately it's a battle and sometimes cuddling up with the ice cream feel so good when there isn't anyone else. Sad, I know but at least I Know that what I truly need and want is NOT the ice cream, I just need to find it elsewhere. Trying! :)

Well, I think just being here and admitting how you feel is a great step in a good direction.   I understand what you're saying about the connection.  It was strange for me, how I could be with someone, always have them there and still feel so painfully lonely because there was no connection.

It's a crappy place to be, and I hope it gets better for you.  *hugs*

Yea, the pig didn't last long!! It was funny! Now I have a magnet that is a little scale- cute and gentle reminder. Plus, I dont have anything detramental in the house anyway!

Question # 2:   How do I want to feel one hour from now? One day from now? One year from now?

Sometimes I'm only concerned about lasting until the next hour from now.

me too

Good article.

Last week I noted that someone wrote to change results, change behaviour. It was the nudge I needed after see-sawing around for a VERY long time. I'm back to recording my activities and food intake and it IS working.

Thank you, for doing that, because I cannot find it again.

Nenke