Getting married!

And freaking out about the reception price!  We went to sign the contract for the reception hall and caterer (its actually not a hall, its a really cute old mansion).  For an open bar the entire night, food (beef and chicken), passed horsderves (I never know how to spell that), taxes and room rental and everything it comes to about 67 bucks per person for 130 people.  FH is freaking out now with second thoughts (a little late) that we are paying too much.  Bear in mind we live in Minneapolis and are getting married in May of next year.  Any opinions?  How much was your reception and what did it include?  I am feeling so overwhelmed already!!!

from what I heard, that isn't too bad of a price...but what if you have open bar for just 2 hours or something...many weddings do that.  that is still generous, but will save you a bunch I am guessing...

That sounds like a good price - better than what you'd get other places (we are getting married in MA).

We'll be paying $72 per person, not including taxes, it includes cocktail hour, hors d'oeuvres, meal, reception flowers, cake, linens, and bridal suite (it's at a hotel). Maybe something else too, but I don't remember. We'll have to pay for the drinks for the dinner/after portion of the evening. It's the taxes/fees that aren't included in that $72 that are gong to kill us.

Our small group of friends and family were and are all teetotalers; we had the wedding outside of DC; the wedding itself was free; the rehearsal dinner was around $400; the after-wedding dinner/reception was around $2000 (people had to get back to MA and wherever else they came from).

Booyah.

Was going to suggest either cutting bar time, or not doing open since that will bring down the price some.  I've had friends that purchased their favorite wines and brought some from their cellar vs using the bar's liquor and it really did save them a lot.  Not sure if you'd have that option but figured it's worth mentioning. 

Also if the overall seems steep because of the reception can you cut some costs elsewhere like making centerpieces and doing bouquets/flower arrangements yourself?  Had a blast with one friend's wedding doing that and they really were beautiful.

The open bar is actually a steal because we are bringing in the liquor ourselves, so they priced the average cost for 100 people with a 5 hour open bar at around 900 bucks.  Unfortunately, because of this we have to have either an open bar or no bar - cash bar isn't an option.  We are going to probably bring that bar price down (we have it set at 1,200 just in case) by just doing beer and wine during the cocktail hour and dinner, and then opening up the hard liquor part later on in the evening (around 8) when the dancing starts.

One of the guys FH works with runs a wedding DJ business on the weekends and evenings, so he's doing out reception for 350 bucks (woot woot!) And I found a gorgeous photographer that would do our wedding for 2,500 - that includes 7 hours, two photographers and a 10x10 album.  Plus he gives us our retouched proofs on a DVD so we can print them where-ever we want.  We might be able to get him down on that though - we don't need 7 hours of coverage and we can get a 10% discount since we're having a Friday wedding.

You might cut costs if you go with an ugly photographer.

We did ours completely on the cheap.  The food was prepared by family members and everyone had a good time doing it.  We had a whiskey sour fountain, a keg of beer, and a bottle of champagne for each table.  Anything else was cash bar.  My brother took the pictures.  He's a great photographer and we made our own wedding album.  A friend of my husband's was the DJ.  He was just starting out in the business and did it for free figuring it was a good way to advertise.  He got a lot of referrals too!  Anyway, there are ways to cut corners if it's getting out of control.

That seems like a great price! I am getting married next June in Napa, CA and the prices are unbelievably ridiculous! I cut my guest list to 90 in order to save. We also decided to keep the open bar open for 2 hours. Also, you can save a lot on flowers simply depending on what types of flowers you choose. I cut out roses... overpriced and overrated... and am going with willow branches and native wild flowers. Georgous and less expensive.

I like the native flower idea.

Thanks guys, I feel better now.  I thought it was a good price too.  And I love the idea about flowers - that's definately one place we're looking to trim costs. 

You can also cut down your guest list, though I totally "get" that some people are big wedding people.

My husband & I were big honeymoon people. We got married with 7 people present, went on a month long stint in Central America & had a "reception" when we got home at our place. Friends & family brought food & my mom got us a nice wedding cheesecake (mmm).

Everyone is different, I'm not hating on your choices... but man. That's $10k. I'd be totally freaking out too. 

Do you guys have a house etc? Planning for kids etc? Do you really have that kind of cash laying around to blow on one nights party? If you don't & you're doing this via credit, seriously consider your prioities. Pay off your car or something, you know?

Original Post by dnrothx:

You might cut costs if you go with an ugly photographer.

  Hey! Whatever you do.... Do not be a cost cutter when you're finding a photographer. Don't depend on a friend or relative to be yours. Unless they're a professional having done other jobs prior, ect. Real ones, Lol. There are a lot of aspiring photographer. This is the part that I think really counts/holds importance later.  Don't get lost in other minor details that get a lot of fuss. Great photos just trump the open bar or main dish served,imo. Friends and relatives can take extras that you'll adore.... but.... I strongly suggest that you don't lowball there.

Beyond that:  The Bar: Drinks will cost you a great deal. Two options: No open bar meaning people buy their own liquor. Or: I'd limit the amount/time ect so it saves you money. Just put a cap on the expense within your comfort. Don't go overboard with drinks it's a huge waste of money, imo.  Remember... You will want to remember..Lol! Plus. It's nice when your friends and family can remember the party. :)

 Congradulations! Good luck with the planning.

Original Post by enchantingimage:

Original Post by dnrothx:

You might cut costs if you go with an ugly photographer.

  Hey! Whatever you do.... Do not be a cost cutter when you're finding a photographer.

 I didn't know that having an attractive photographer was such a necessity.

Original Post by dnrothx:

Original Post by enchantingimage:

Original Post by dnrothx:

You might cut costs if you go with an ugly photographer.

  Hey! Whatever you do.... Do not be a cost cutter when you're finding a photographer.

 I didn't know that having an attractive photographer was such a necessity.

 Are you talking about quality photos or the actual person? O_o  Seriously? Cuhz, seriously... Quality photos are upper most importance!

Original Post by nuggetkong:

And I found a gorgeous photographer ....

Original Post by amethystgirl:

Original Post by nuggetkong:

And I found a gorgeous photographer ....

  Mhm. My suggestion is to stick with the good one. Even if the OP is trying to skim the expenses.

It will be worth it later. That's all I'm saying. :)

Original Post by kae03:

from what I heard, that isn't too bad of a price...but what if you have open bar for just 2 hours or something...many weddings do that.  that is still generous, but will save you a bunch I am guessing...

 That's the truth! Our reception ended up being upwards of 5 hours and we only had open bar for 2 hours. Get everyone loosened up and they'll pay haha. Seriosly though, find out. Lots of places are willing to make a deal.

Original Post by freshbakedpi:

You can also cut down your guest list, though I totally "get" that some people are big wedding people.

My husband & I were big honeymoon people. We got married with 7 people present, went on a month long stint in Central America & had a "reception" when we got home at our place. Friends & family brought food & my mom got us a nice wedding cheesecake (mmm).

Everyone is different, I'm not hating on your choices... but man. That's $10k. I'd be totally freaking out too. 

Do you guys have a house etc? Planning for kids etc? Do you really have that kind of cash laying around to blow on one nights party? If you don't & you're doing this via credit, seriously consider your prioities. Pay off your car or something, you know?

 We are both in our upper 20's, and are paying for most of this ourselves (my mom and his parents chipped in a bit).  We have our budget figured out based off of saving X amount of dollars each paycheck (and we aren't counting our bonuses because with this economy, who knows if we'll get them next year).  Its not about one night's party, its about celebrating with our friends and family something that's been 8+ years in the making.  Also, my grandfather (who passed away last December and pretty much raised me) always wanted me to have a beautiful wedding (and if he was still alive, he would have insisted on paying for it).  I'm trying to keep my costs in the 15-17k range for everything (highballing it) and the 8,700 is for 130 people which is highballing it as well.  We'll probably be closer to 100 folks, which will knock about 1,500 - 2,00 between booze and food off our bill. 

We're doing our ceremony for 250 in a park, the DJ is a guy he works with so he's doing our wedding for 350 bucks, and we're going to DIY on invitations, save the dates, thank you cards, flowers (as much as we can).  I don't want a fancy wedding dress, so I have a feeling I'll end up either getting a bridesmaid dress in white, or a pretty white silk gown from Macy's or something.  We want a house and kids (someday), but there's no way we'd do this whole thing if we couldn't afford it.  Worst case senario, if we go over budget then we just put off our honeymoon for a month or two.  There's no way though that we would put this on credit.  Ugh.  That scares me, I could so see everything spiraling out of control when you're not actually handing them cash money.

I got married last summer, and the expenses really start to add up! One way we cut costs is instead of having passed hors d'oeuvres, ours were set out on tables. Instead of doing a full bar with beer and liquor we did wine and champagne. This might not be an option for you, but we also had an afternoon ceremony which saved tons of money because instead of doing a full meal we did afternoon appetizers (although it was A LOT of food). You can also find some very cheap wedding dresses at Nordstrom's online wedding shop--I found one for $89! 

I had heard weddings were expensive, I just didn't know figures. I can't even begin to imagine accumulating $15-17k & spending it on a party. I guess, on the other hand, it will be one hell of a party. And you'll have pretty pictures of it, apparently.

I guess in this economy & housing market, you might as well blow through what could otherwise be a house payment. Whatever, right?