I know it's mostly my fault for letting it affect me.
I know most of it is airbrushing.
I know I should ignore it.
Yet I can't, and I feel so disgusting when I lookt at myself. I wish I were thinner. I wish I had bigger boobs. I wish I wasn't flabby. Sadly, I'm 19 and I see girls my age that do look like this. I feel ugly, I feel insecure, I don't even have a nice face. I have a boyfriend who loves me and thinks I'm pretty, but he also thinks other girls are pretty, and he probably notices the prettier girls in the street or he enjoys media images a lot. He's said they're hotter from an objective point of view, that it's because they have to sell, because they're on TV that they have to look better and hotter but that not because of this he loves me less.
I hurt so much when I see these images, or when I see this girls down the street or at college, and I feel ugly and disgusting. What can I do to change this perception, or my body, or whatever?!?
Oh, my, your post made me so sad. 
Even your user name made me sad. Do you want to be tiny or do you want to be healthy? Maybe it's because I'm a bit older (29) but my reasons for wanting to be thinner have more to do with health and more (Edit: typo) less to do with how I view myself. It sounds like you suffer from depression/low self-esteem and possibly, a distorted body image.
Personally, I wouldn't stick around with a guy who said that other girls were "hotter" than me. My husband doesn't deny the attractiveness of other woman but he would NEVER suggest that someone was prettier, hotter, or sexier than me. You might try telling the BF how those comments make you feel and see what he says.
I would also suggest finding a counselor (if you're a college student, their might be a free one available to you) who you can talk to about your self-esteem issues. A counselor can help you put these things in perspective.
Eating healthy and exercising will help with your body image because: it will increase the seratonin levels in your brain, help you get thinner if you truly are overweight, and improve your overall outlook.
I'm sure you have a lovely face. Perhaps you just don't know how to accentuate your assets. Ask close friends or family members what your best facial features are (eyes, nose, etc.) then consider getting a new haircut that will accentuate those features or consider meeting with a cosmetologist for a facial/makeover to learn how to accentuate those features. Bringing out your best will help you look past the negative. Yes- I do have a flabby chin but my Mary Kay lady taught me how to shade my make-up to reflect light away from the flab. I swear, the make up tricks I learned took 5 pounds off my pudgy face!
This might seem like a lot to do at once so you may need to take 1 or 2 of these things to work on. Also, rent "My Big Fat Greek Wedding" for yourself. That movie is a great self-esteem booster in my opinion.
Take care and find strength in these forums!
Consider that what you see in those attractive women is not outer beauty, but their inner confidence. Truly, what you feel inside will show outside. You should make a list of 5 things you like about yourself (and not physical features.) I'll start you out. Number 1, you are a here on this site, trying to make changes in how you eat. That means you are a problem solver...a doer.
As far as your boyfriend goes, hey, he's young, I'll bet. Young guys haven't been around the block enough times to know not to state the obvious to someone who's dealing with their self-perception issues. Have you seen some of the tabloid pics that show some celebrities without their make up and hair done? OMG, it's shocking! They really do look just like ordinary people. What makes them look better is that they "act" and they can "be" the person they want you to see. And of course they have trainers and hairstylists and make up.
There was an email being circulated not too long ago that showed candid pics of male movie stars and the kind of shape they're in now. It was disillusioning to say the least. Even guys have to get in shape and have hair and make up to look like they do in movies. Do you ever look at Brad Pitt or Tom Cruise and compare your boyfriend to them? How does he stack up? It's not horrible to admit that they're hot and he's not as hot. You just don't tell him that. And you can certainly say that BP and TC are hot, but that's all just physical...what's inside may not be so hot after all.
This is kind of a long rambling way to say that some folks are just nice to look at, and may be not so nice to be with. If you're nice to be with, that's what will keep people around. And don't be too hard on the boyfriend. He's with you, right?And quit setting him up with questions about what girls he thinks are hot. He's too dumb to realize that there's no winning in that kind of war. ;-)
But the root cause of this is your own self-esteem problems. When your self-worth is entirely dictated by comparing your appearance with others, something is wrong. You're more than a face and a body... you're a whole person. There should be other things in your life where you can say 'OK I may not be a Miss World contestant any time soon but I'm very proud of myself for X, Y and Z'. You could easily be suffering from depression. And if you 'wish you were thinner' does that affect how/what you eat? A poor diet or insufficient food can affect mental function really badly. Have you spoken to a doctor about the way you feel?
Your BF sounds like a tool. To be fair, college age guys don't necessarily have a lot of life experience and he may not realize that telling you that other girls are hotter than you is a big no-no. I would discuss it with him, but really, you should be with a guy who likes/loves you for who you are on the inside, and thinks that makes you hotter than anyone else on the planet.
I understand what it's like to see the really skinny girls on campus. You have to realize that some of them are more unhealthy than you are and living a poor life in order to starve themselves and be thin. Even if they are healthy, thin, beautiful, etc., that doesn't mean that they are better, or even happier than you. Everybody has their problems, no matter what they look like on the outside.
Hang in there and don't let the media and comparing yourself to others get you down! I also agree with the others who have replied and suggested that you talk to your doctor about how you're feeling. I've lived with depression, and life gets a heck of a lot better if you treat it.
Oh my dear, dear, I_wanna_be_tiny...
I know EXACTLY how you feel. I am pretty much in the same boat as you, except I don't have a boyfriend.
I am talking to someone (read: in therapy) about my low self esteem, and boy does it work wonders. I know it may feel a little weird at first to be 'in therapy' but it is WORTH it.
I hope you feel better soon.
Original Post by emma2804:
No matter what anyone says the way you feel inside never changes.
The change can't truly come from other people's words. It has to come from inside you. You have to decide that you are better than these thoughts that are constantly tearing you down. You have to make the decision to move away from that and get on a more positive path.
That's not to say that counciling won't help. It could. It could help you make the decisions you need to make. It could help you decide that what's outside is not what's important. What's inside (your brain, your heart, your health) is what's important.
Good luck to you. Like kthompson I'm older (30) and it deeply saddens me to see very young girls tormented by meaningless things - like being "tiny". As she said, "tiny" is nowhere near as good a goal as "healthy" is.
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