Why men shouldn't write advice columns

Dear John
 
I hope you can help me. The other day, I set off for work leaving my husband
in the house watching TV.. My car started stalling and then it broke down
about a mile down the road and I had to walk back to get my husband's help.
When I got home, I couldn't believe my eyes. He was in our bedroom with the
neighbour's daughter!
 
I am 32, my husband is 34, and the neighbor's daughter is 19. We have been
married for ten years. When I confronted him, he broke down and admitted
that they had been having an affair for the past six months. He won't go to
counselling and I'm afraid I am a wreck and need advice urgently. Can you
please help?
 
Sincerely, Kate
=0 A 
 
 
Dear Kate:
 
A car stalling after being driven a short distance can be caused by a
variety of faults with the engine. Start by checking for debris in the fuel
line. If it is clear, check the vacuum pipes and hoses on the intake
manifold and also check all grounding wires. If none of these approaches
solve the problem, it could be that the fuel pump itself is faulty, causing
low delivery pressure to the injectors.
I hope this helps, 
 
Regards 
John 

That's so unbelieveably stupid and crass...   they should have suggested checking the clutch.

giggle giggle

Dirty, dirty, dirty, she should make sure she gets cleaner gas next time

Original Post by gi-jane:

That's so unbelieveably stupid and crass...   they should have suggested checking the clutch.

I would have suggested she checked if the gas tank wasn't empty... *runs and hides lol

UD

P.S. Once the car is in good working order, be sure and use your two-timing, no-good, low-down, dirty, snake of a man as a speed bump at your earliest possible opportunity.

In accordance with the prophecy.

Wait, what am I missing? That seems like solid advice to me.

...yet another man begging for a beating...

Original Post by kathygator:

...yet another man begging for a beating...

 Women are so violent.

Maybe the reply/advice was in the form of a metaphor? Fuel Pump=Husband

Original Post by trhawley:

Dear John

I hope you can help me. The other day, I set off for work leaving my husband
in the house watching TV.. My car started stalling and then it broke down
about a mile down the road and I had to walk back to get my husband's help.
When I got home, I couldn't believe my eyes. He was in our bedroom with the
neighbour's daughter!

I am 32, my husband is 34, and the neighbor's daughter is 19. We have been
married for ten years. When I confronted him, he broke down and admitted
that they had been having an affair for the past six months. He won't go to
counselling and I'm afraid I am a wreck and need advice urgently. Can you
please help?

Sincerely, Kate
=0 A


Dear Kate:

A car (husband)is stalling after being driven a short distance can be caused by a
variety of faults with the engine (brain). Start by checking for debris in the fuel
line (ed). If it is clear, check the vacuum pipes and hoses on the intake
manifold (inter marital sexual stimulus) and also check all grounding wires (depression). If none of these approaches
solve the problem, it could be that the fuel pump itself is faulty, causing
low delivery pressure to the injectors.(husband is an idiot and may needs to be replaced)
I hope this helps,

Regards
John

Well golly - seems like solid advice to me!

Original Post by dnrothx:

Original Post by kathygator:

...yet another man begging for a beating...

 Women are so violent.

You're just noticing this now?

There's a reason there's no men on this site, you know. Women keep trying to use us as speedbumps!

Real men aren't scared off by us. ;)

Original Post by kathygator:

Real men aren't scared off by us. ;)

You put me in a quandry.

Clearly you haven't scared me off, so by your definition, I am a Real Man.

So mocking the situation is clearly mocking myself.

:/

I eat quiche too.

Original Post by trhawley:

I eat quiche too.

Iew.

Freak.

Original Post by hkellick:

Original Post by kathygator:

Real men aren't scared off by us. ;)

You put me in a quandry.

Clearly you haven't scared me off, so by your definition, I am a Real Man.

So mocking the situation is clearly mocking myself.

:/

 :)

Dear Tom,

My ahem car could use some... fixin. I need to replace the lube in my rear end, and flush and fill my cooling system. Thats what the guy said.

Any help you could offer me, a single MILF with no mechanical skills would be much appreciated.

Regards,

Watergirl

 

 

Original Post by hkellick:

Original Post by trhawley:

I eat quiche too.

Iew.

Freak.

 *hits report button*

no name calling please  ;)

 

*ponders*

oh wait...  it's Tom we're talking 'bout here.  never mind.  carry on.

Original Post by moodymomma1977:

Original Post by hkellick:

Original Post by trhawley:

I eat quiche too.

Iew.

Freak.

 *hits report button*

no name calling please  ;)

 

*ponders*

oh wait...  it's Tom we're talking 'bout here.  never mind.  carry on.

Thanks for nothin'.

Original Post by trhawley:

Original Post by moodymomma1977:

Original Post by hkellick:

Original Post by trhawley:

I eat quiche too.

Iew.

Freak.

 *hits report button*

no name calling please  ;)

 

*ponders*

oh wait...  it's Tom we're talking 'bout here.  never mind.  carry on.

Thanks for nothin'.

 Bahah!  Leave it to moodles to.....almost-but-not-quite come to your defense.