Have I messed things up?

Hey everyone, I am sort of embarrassed/ashamed to post this but I am a little concerned. Basically I was eating 2500 calories at least and on that I gained roughly 1.5lbs a week, some weeks a little more etc.  I wasnt comfortable gaining this but kept going anyway but about two weeks ago I really struggled and ended up cutting my intake back.  I've been thinking I may try to maintain for a while to get used to where I am at.

Ive dropped it by about 500-600 calories( I did this by cutting out two 300 cal supplement drinks I took every day). My weight, however, has not dropped at all. I am just worried that I have really screwed up my metabolism and everything that I worked hard to try and fix. Since I dropped my intake my activity levels have also increased due to a new job which involved a lot of standing and walking about, which leaves me a bit confused as to why I am maintaining. Im really worried that Ive got and messed up everything.

I dont really know what I advice I am looking for from this, maybe a bit of reassurance, maybe a bit of help with what I should do?

Bring your calories back up. Just because you didn't lose weight does not mean you've **** up your metabolism. It just means that your body doesn't want to lose the weight you have managed to gain. You might see an initial jump from water weight, but truly your body will bounce back quite quickly. The most important thing is not to be letting the ED make the decisions here. You know you need to eat 2500 a day MINIMUM. 500 calories more is only going to produce a one pound gain a week at most. Sometimes less, as your body will probably be enthralled with being fed properly again boot up a bit. You'll feel better physically and mentally by eating more. I know I do. I usually eat at least 200 extra calories on the days I work (4 hour shifts. 5 hrs, I add 250, 7-8 hours I add around 400 more)  and it hasn't caused me to gain weight any faster, at all. In fact I've found that I still ended up needing to boost myself by 700 calories in order to gain weight on a weekly basis.

rebel is right . its not to late late , bring those calories back up , because your body is still so starved it will be doing everything in its power to stop you from losing and everything in its power to get you to gain . it will be hard at first but you can do it please get bk to where you were . you will feel physically and mentally stronger and it wont take long for your positive energy to come bk. i understand your needing to stop but it really dosent help. the longer you leave it the harder it gets and the more the ed creeps back . it is your time now so go on put them drinks bk your body is crying out for them , dont beat yourself up you can take control back h x

hey betty - I agree with rebel and tessa and just wanted to drop you a little note to encourage you to keep going. I have also had some hesitation of late but took a step back and saw how much work I had put in so far and reminded myself of all the reasons why recovering is making my life better and how miserable i was in the depths of my ED and that has spurred me to continue on the recovery path.

Take a moment to reflect on all the good work you have done and all the good that will come from continuing this. You have come a long way - keep going and use us for support!!!

Take care :)

well said erin we are all here to help each other through this dark tunnel into the sunshine h x

I understand you got scared but going back and forth with calories just makes it harder mentally and physically. Are you at a healthy weight? I am thinking not so there is no need for a break. If you were on antibiotics for a illness would you take a break? No but this is the same. Also when one takes a break I think it sets a stage to relapse back. What were some things you could do when you get scared? For ex come to this board for support cause many are in your shoes. You can get back on track and I hope you do. Remember 2500 is actually a low amount in recovery. People at times can be over 4000 plus. You can do it

 I gained roughly 1.5lbs a week, some weeks a little more etc.  I wasnt comfortable gaining this but kept going anyway but about two weeks ago I really struggled and ended up cutting my intake back.  I've been thinking I may try to maintain for a while to get used to where I am at.

 This is exactly the same situation I have been in the past few days. I am gaining 2 and a half lbs some weeks on 2500 which is horrible and am quite close to my goal weight.

I have picked things up again though because we don't know when our metabolisms will speed up. We may maintain our goal weight on 2500, a few pounds can make a big difference to the calories we need. Don't try to predict the future, take it one week at a time.

Thanks everyone for your replies. Rebel you nailed it pretty much when you said about letting ed make the decisions, I think this is my main problem at the minute.  Whenever I was eating the 2500 I did feel better in a way, although it was hard it was nice being able to eat things without to much worry now I am back into that cycle of horribly thinking about my calorie intake for all the wrong reasons. Its just a constant battle now between one side of me which doesnt want to get ill again and the other side which is trying to drag me down.

I thought at one point that spending time on this board and other sites would keep me held in my ed and prevent me from getting better but recently I havent been spending as much time online and I havent been doing as well, I think sometimes coming on here gives me a bit of a reality check.

Original Post by emmabrody:

 I gained roughly 1.5lbs a week, some weeks a little more etc.  I wasnt comfortable gaining this but kept going anyway but about two weeks ago I really struggled and ended up cutting my intake back.  I've been thinking I may try to maintain for a while to get used to where I am at.

 

 This is exactly the same situation I have been in the past few days. I am gaining 2 and a half lbs some weeks on 2500 which is horrible and am quite close to my goal weight.

I have picked things up again though because we don't know when our metabolisms will speed up. We may maintain our goal weight on 2500, a few pounds can make a big difference to the calories we need. Don't try to predict the future, take it one week at a time.

I once gained 4lb in one week, and it wasn't water weight either! Do not worry; the quicker you gain, the quicker you'll be at a healthy weight :) Also, a BMI of 17 (which I believe you've said you're at) should be no where near your goal weight...

Betty: I agree this site can give you a reality check (be wary of others though!). But you do need to fight that ED voice and keep those calories up! You can do it :)