I messed up so bad, i hate myself right now

So yesterday started off good and then I dont know why but I had a drink of wine, I ate cheese with real sugar, deli ham with melted cheese and then more wine, an entire bottle, then I got into the Halloween candy and I ate an entire bag of mini kitkats and mini threemuskateers then I didn't stop there I went to the store and I bought chocolate chips, and more candy and I ate all of that.  I have put on so much weight I can hardly recognize myself in the mirror and I Can not seem to stop these horendous binges.  I need help and I dont know what to do, my family isn't helpful, infact they feel better about themselves the bigger I get, and I dont know what to do.  I have put on so much weight in such a short peroid of time that I can no longer sqeeze into my fat clothes and I am having to wear sweats today, I dont know what I m going to do about work, I have nothing to wear and I also do not have any money to go buy bigger clothes and I dont want to.   Help me, any advice or encouragment will help.

Thank you 

well all you can do is get back on track. Start off by not beating yourself up about it, i see my husband do the same thing and i know it doesnt help to be upset about it. Toss out any treats/sweets you have on hand and make a promise to yourself that you wont buy anymore for a week, smaller increments of time are easier to swallow (no pun intended) try to eat 6 small meals high in fiber and protein to help keep you full longer and drink tons of water. take a long walk today and feel good about yourself for making positive changes.

Relax -- the eating is done and can't be taken back.

I would agree that yesterday was a bad day for you -- I think most of us have them now and again.  Them important thing is to not let these days rule your life.  You also need to explore what it is that causes your binging (the line about your family's lack of support is telling) so that you can find a way to head it off before it happens again.

You may wish to consider not having trigger foods in the house -- little concerned that you drank a bottle of wine and then drove to the store to buy more candy... that's never a good idea.

Now -- look at every day as a new day.  Start over every day, that way you don't have to look too far in the future, right now.  Focus on healthy meals and lots of water.  And continue to come here when you need to "talk", but also consider finding someone in your personal circle with whom you can explore your feelings safely.

 

I know I need to make positive changes, it just seems that I will do good for a day or two and then wreck everything and this has been going on for 3 months now and I can not seem to get a grasp on it.  It is scary how much weight I have gained in these 3 months, I mean a lot so much, I know I can't sit here and stew over it I need to just get out there and move and a long walk sounds good, I think I will bundle up and head outside, the sad thing is that I have put on so much weight I am emberresed to go out were people can see me now, I am embarresed at the way that I have let myself become and look and I am going to be very emberresed when the entire family gets together for Thanksgiving and eveyone see what I look like with all this weight gain.

 

I know you feel terrible right now... how bout you start by taking a long walk? It relieves stress very well. Also, you probably ate about enough to have gained one pound - not 5 or 10. so try not to worry too much, everything will be ok. just try to figure out what went wrong and try to avoid the same from happening in the future.

Oh, you poor thing, I know exactly what you're going through. I used to weigh 265 and hated myself for just this very thing. Don't beat yourself up. If you're just starting dieting, along with writing to us all here for support and encouragement, learn how to self-speak. Imagine you are your best friend and she told you what you just told us. What would you say? You know it would be words of love, right? Try talking that way to yourself. Beating yourself up is not good and it sets you up for more bouts just like this one.

You always get a new day tomorrow. Tomorrow is forgiveness for yesterday, it's a chance to start over. Losing weight is mostly mental, I believe. Don't count how many times something got you down, count the times you got back up. Don't get impatient, heck, buy a calendar and some pretty stickers and give yourself stickers for every little goal you meet - walking, drinking water, eating right - Then, you'll have visual proof of all your positive efforts. Focus on the good and it will get easier.

I'm 115 now and have been for several years. I still have days (about 2 to 3 a month) where I overindulge, and sometimes I feel bad about it, but not like I used to. I'm human, I like food, I've learned over the years how to work with it.

 So go do something to make yourself feel good today. It's positive things that change our behavior. We learn to be better by believing we are better. Be your own best friend, go for a walk, put a star on the calendar every day you meet your goals, make your accomplishments more visible than your slip ups.

 

Thank you, you guys are right their is no sense in beating myself up, I need to start making positive changes and I need to start now.  Kimchi858 how did you lose all the weight? 

I was a binger, too, and you won't believe how i broke the cycle! I found all kinds of substitutes for the sugary stuff i craved. i started out with sugar free instant jello pudding. getting rid of the sugar is the thing we have to start with, and we need to trick the ol bod into thinking it's still getting it. that's what makes us binge, by the way...the high glycemic load of sugar dumps lots of glucose (sugar) into our bloodstream all at once, and it burns up quick, leaving us sluggish and craving another burst of energy.

the next thing i did was start drinking a milk shake for breakfast every morning...i make it in a blender with frozen fruit, skim milk, and a scoop of french vanilla slim fast. it is really deliscious, and if you put a half banana in it, it has the consistency of a real ice cream milkshake without the fat and sugar!

fiber is very important to make you feel full longer, so i put a scoop of the vanilla slim fast powder in a bowl of oatmeal (made with no salt or sugar). it tastes like an oatmeal cookie! that makes a great lunch for me some days, and keeps me full for a long time. i make a big bowl of it....3/4 c dry oats cooked in 1 1/2 c water.

unsweetened applesauce with a scoop of the vanilla slim fast powder is good, too....tastes like apple pie!

and WATER....i drink a gallon of water every day. that helps keep me feeling full, too. i read somewhere that thirst can make you think you're hungry, and i think that's true. i always have a big drink of water when i feel hungry and then wait to see if i still feel hungry.

I weighed 308.8 lbs 14 mos ago, and weigh 245.2 this morning, so this is really working for me! it took more than just these tricks, of course, but these are what broke the binge/sugar craving cycle for me.

Never beat yourself up over a goof....just realise you have a fresh start now! Depression will only make you want to binge more!

Thank you carol, I need to stop this binge cycle it is causing the massive increase in my weight, and you are right depression just makes me want to binge more, even as I sit here, I dont know why I think that food will make me feel better about myslef when I know that it wont, it will only make things worse.

I need to stop this binging once and for all.  Today I stop, today I will not binge again, and if I do then I will start again and again until the binging is far  and few between and then gone altogether. THank you 

I really like the stickers on a calendar idea!

Before I discovered CC, I had a list of all the daily decisions I could make to get me moving. I taped it to the wall and made sure I could put a checkmark beside at least one item every day. The list included things like:

Get up and walk around the block; Don't take the nearest parking spot to my office/grocery store etc.; Take the stairs; Take a one-day vacation from chocolate; Watch less than one hour of television today...

Start with very small items, and add more challenging ones as time goes on. This helped me because I could see by the checkmarks that I was taking action to change my life. It might help you recognise your own progress and not be so hard on yourself.

Those are good suggestions thank you, small steps equal up to big changes.  Thank you all for your support and helpful ideas, thank you so much

I went out and got some stickers, smiley faces and ones that say Great JOB! CONgrats!, keep up the good work, and things of that nature and so I put one on my calendar when I got home.  And I liked the way it looked!!!! I can do this and I will give myself a sticker everyday I do good and I want to see a lot of stickers!!!!!!

There has been a few times that I've gone on a binge since I startedthis. They're right. Don't beat yourself up. Use it as motivation to keep at it. If you're angry at yourself direct that at wanting to lose weight.

 

I also think that treating yourself every once in a while is fine. Restricting yourself to NOTHING good eventually gangs up on you and forces you to eat those unhealthy things. You can't quit cold turkey, your body and emotions sometimes crave them! I have a package of Dove Milk Chocolate candy in my room, and I usually take one or two with me every day. When I'm craving something sweet, I grab one piece of candy. Works pretty well...just set a number you can have a day/week, and stick to it.

Treating yourself (especially as a reward) is a must! My biggest thing is I eat too much! Based on cravings and not acutal hunger. I fell off the wagon for half a week and was beating myself up over it but with some help from LJ and such I realised I can still do this. So for the last week I did well again. I hate onmly when I was hungry and stayed under (for the most part) on calories.  Last night I decided since I had done well AND it was Halloween I would treat myself to a nice hotchocolate  at work. I work at Tim Hortons. Now...normal hot chocolate isn't horrible but for half the amount of hot chocoalte it' TWICE the calories as most. But it's OH SO GOOD! So I avoid it as often as I can. Until last night. And now I won't touch it for a while again.

There's no need to hate yourself. I ate 4 (yes 4) Swanson's Hungryman TV dinners yesterday, I do feel not-smart for doing that, but as long as I eat better in the coming days and keep active it's ok.

Same for you, just eat better foods in the coming days, and burn it off with some sweating.

But I honestly suggest being more strict about your food choices while you are reaching your goal. Now once you've reached your goal, then have some treats every now and then. And

Oh, and this is very important. The method you use to reach you goal is very important. In short, don't starve.

I think the act being addicted to a certain food is very really, but once you get it out of your system, physically and mentally, you won't really need it anymore.

I just went trick or treating with my young cousin yesterday, and we got a big bag of sweets, but I don't really feel any urge to eat any. In the past, I probably would have tried my best to negotiate for half of it.

Sounds funny, but probably true.

It helps to not buy the stuff that you tend to go wild with.  For instance, I have little to no control with the good ice cream.  Dryer's, Ben & Jerry's cookie dough.  I put it to the test occasional and always regret it.  For a day or two I'm good and can have one serving, but at some point I just go overboard and have it instead of lunch or dinner or breakfast...not healthy.

So, what I do is I keep frozen sorbet (I like it but I'm not nuts about it) and soy chocolate ice cream (don't really like it at all, but throwing it out would be a waste, now wouldn't it) in my freezer.  When I'm at the store, I remember that I have ice cream so I really don't need to buy it.  When I'm at home, I have ice cream so if I really want it I can have it, but I don't love either flavor so much that I'm willing to waste the calories on more than one serving.  Usually I'll pass altogether.  If I'm really desperate enough to go to the store just for the goodies I can, but usually I'm too lazy to make a special trip.

I'm also keeping a lot of healthy snackish things on hand.  I've been buying veggie burgers, I'm not a vegetarian but as a snack they're healthy and relatively low cal, fiber one bars, protein bars, I just got some "better than peanut butter" which has 1/2 the calories and I get low carb tortillas and spread a Tbsp of pb on it and drizzle a tsp of honey.  Good easy snack, sweet enough, but has enough protein and fiber to make me feel satisfied.

I find it hard not to buy less healthy but tasty snacks/meals when they are on sale.

tomorrow is another day!

each bag of candy probably had 1000 calories, and although it is a high amount, when you think about it in the context of weight, it takes 3500 calories over your needed amount to gain 1 pound. you probably didnt even gain a full pound that day!

so just start over the next day and take a long walk. its relaxful and an easy way to get moving.

yesterday i went to a halloween party and i was having a very good 1100 calorie day, but i seemed to lose control of my will and ate 3 slices of pizza and 5 pieces of candy. then i got home and ate 3 cupcakes, with all the loaded icing on top too.   i have to say i felt pretty damn regretful after, but there was nothing i could do about it and i'll just have to make sure it happens again
remember how good it feels to have a good day and use that good feeling as motivation to not buy that bag of candy :)
if you never buy  it, you can't have it

A suggestion i've found that helps is buying one food you really enjoy.  Lets use Oreos as an example.  Only ever buy oreos.  And of course fruits and vegetables and things of that nature...stock yourself on healthy foods.  Allow yourself the occassional oreo, but every time you run out, only buy (you guessed it) more oreos.  Eventually you will want less and less of the food you think you desire and start craving better and better foods.  And you have the one chocolatey item if you absolutely want that sugar rush.