Did my metabolism drop again? D:

My last weigh-in was 8/3. Between 8/3 and 8/13(10 days between weigh ins) I ate 26,588 calories. Going off of my body needing ~1900 cals per day, I figured this would lead to about a 2.2lb weight gain(which is what I've been seeing pretty consistently). Anyway, I gained 4lbs! Which means 14,000 extra cals, and 26,588-14,000=12,588(how many calories weren't excess). 12588/10(number of days)=1,258 per day! I used this method the past few times, and it always came out to 1900-2100 needed/day. 

I don't know if it's water weight or not; the scale has said the same number two days in a row. I've also been sick since Wednesday, but I've been getting enough calories(not enough to gain but at least 2000/day. I know 2500 is needed to gain, but being sick, it was a chore to get this many down). I know the scale is just a number, but I'm finally starting to feel good about this and if my metabolism decided to drop again I'll be really frustrated! =/

Also, maybe my little math isn't a reliable method..but still. Gaining twice what I normally do, eating the same(actually it averaged out to about 300 less than most weeks(unintentially) just doesn't make sense to me. 

i know ifs hard , but please try not to worry about it , weight can fluctulate alot in recovery its frustrating but it will even out . i cant see for a minute that is real weight gain. try to stick with it , till your next weighed could it be the start of your periods ?i dont think your metabolism is screwed. i know you are frustrated but youve come so far . i m sorry i cant be much help to you , im thinking of you anyway h x

Thanks Helen - my period is actually supposed to start any day now! I didn't even think about that. :)

WARNING THIS WILL SEEM HARSH

ecwk6.. this is a bit ridiculous. its a bad idea to be trying to analyse so accurately what will happen to your body. your body will look after your body. it rarely happens that weight is accurate. and you are torturing yourself by trying constantly to see if your metabolism is going up or down.

let me ask : what difference does it make if your metabolism is going up or down. how will it impact your behaviour?? if someone says "yeah it does mean its slowing down". doe that mean you will go back restricting? or try to 'outsmart' it in some other way?

your body knows itself and it will look after itself. if you just let it

arent you underweight? 

why aren't you eating 2500+ calories?  ur also very active, i cant imagine what reason u have for eating so little?

fidget:  I know you're reply wasn't written for me, but it couldn't have come at a better time!  In the past few days I've been on the verge of obsession with the whole calories/metabolism/rate of weight gain part of recovery, and your post really helped me!  Thanks for the reminder that "your body will look after your body".  I'm trying to let go of trying to control every little aspect and just trust my body to do what it needs to do.  Thanks for the words of wisdom!  :)

Fidget - Thank you, actually. I know I obviously have control issues(esp with food) but sometimes I don't realize just how silly and ridiculous they do get! And since restriction is not an option(there is NO way I am going to go back now; not after coming this far!) it wouldn't really matter if it did slow down again. I appreciate you pointing this out. I think I need to tell myself "so what" to my ed voice more often.

Agruskin-My current bmi, after this gain is 17.6. And the past few days I have not been active at all due to bronchitis and a sinus infection. I was sedentary/resting/sleeping Wednesday and Thursday, hence the low intakes. Today is the first day I've even left the house since then!

well obviously glad to hear ur doing better but ur underweight, u shouldnt ever be active+running and such and u should always eat 2500+ regardless of activity level, y isnt this clear?  uve started an active job whcih u said ur glad ur able to do when previosuly u were unable to be so physical, imagine how much better ull feel once u get to a healthy weight?!

good luck

The thing is, I feel like I'm at a healthy weight =/

Stop It!

You're not!!!! and you know that!

you're underweight, there are NO benefits to living such a iseased, malnourished, restricted, rigid way of life.

think about it, feel however u want, bottom line, youre NOT healthy.

and yes, i meant this to be abrupt and rash, i hope this got thru to u, if not, stop and think, go back to a doctor, ur not healthy.

ecwk6- i have the same problem, i feel like i am at a healthy weight too! even though i'm not....

"ecwk6- i have the same problem, i feel like i am at a healthy weight too! even though i'm not...."

crazy? do you not think this is a bit of a pointless comment. it is in no way constructive either to you or the op. i hate comments like these because it makes it seem " oh well im not the only one who feels like this - its ok to stay here"

its not okay. and ecwk you know that a bmi of 17.anything is underweight. everyone has felt the "but i feel fine and healthy". this is BS. you are hiding from the from the truth. and it is cowardly to hide behind a "i feel fine" line.

do you get your period?

you are still in restriction mode if you are eating 1900 and active. i think you need ro have a serious look at how honest you are being with urself. in the long run it doenst bother anyone here if you continue to delude yourself. only you suffer in the long run

ecwk6 can you read your original post. Does this seem "normal" about the calculations? I know many people count calories as do I but adding up for the week and getting different figures and outcomes is really taking this to an extreme. Even the calorie counting I do I see as not a good behavior. Your body is not a calculator and we are all different so that is why these formulas don't work. I often live in the "better" too. This is not the way because "better" with an ed can still kill or destroy your health. At the bmi you are at you should be sedentary other then light walking.This is what I think instead of focusing on the metabolism etc look at the facts right now. You are underweight so you need to continue to gain. If you flip flop back and forth with calories your metabolism and body will never balance out. You have to be consistent. Are you able to accept reaching a normal weight and your set point? What can you do today to be healthy and can you go back to increased calories? On a side note were you the girl who did get her period but was going to take a pregnency test? I am sorr if I am wrong just wondering if so what is going on there?

Hey guys, I spent the afternoon in a longgggg meditation sesh, and came out with some huge realizations. Number one being that what I am doing now is just as bad psychologically as when I was restricting. I am still trying to control my intake and weight down the calorie; even if in this case it is to gain not lose. Fidget and abbi, you both helped me realize this. I am looking at my recovery in a totally different way now. I am going to try and trust and nourish my body, give it what it needs and wants, not what ED wants to give it. 

Number two being that I have spent the past almost year of my life BEING my eating disorder. My whole life has revolved around it. I had no other hobbies, interests, or dimensions except my body and eating habits. Last summer, before I relapsed, I was a musician, an artist, a poet, a writer. I was spiritually grounded. Since my ed reared its ugly head again I haven't picked up a paint brush, my guitar, or a pen. But today that all changed! I wrote until my hand hurt, I got out my old sketchpad and did some contours, all while singing at the top of my lungs! I also(as previously stated) spent a big chunk of the day in meditation. 

Number three being I will not exercise to burn calories, rather to make my body happy. I don't want movement to become a chore or something ed controls.

and fidget - I never lost my period, even at a bmi of 14. I've been on birth control the entire time though, so I don't know if that has something to do with it.

and abbi - yes, i was the one posting about that. I went to the doctor and the breast tenderness is just weight gain related; I'm not pregnant.

"Number three being I will not exercise to burn calories, rather to make my body happy. I don't want movement to become a chore or something ed controls"

you should not be exercising for any reason while at your bmi. full stop

I am glad you are facing the things you need to do and also what the ed has taken away. I'm not taking away the year you have lost to this but as someone who struggled for 14 the longer it goes on the more you loose and the harder it is to get it back. Not impossible at all though. I remind myself that. As you stated you have lost or stopped doing a lot due to the ed so what are some goals to begin them again?I am glad you are not pregnant. Be very careful from now on. Also being on birth control and having a period does not protect your bones from osteo and other relate issues. Lastly I know how hard it is to accept reaching a set point weight. In past times trying to recover I never did. I would try to control it at a low bmi and thought since I was "better" then before it was ok but it kept my mind and body unhealthy. I truly believe and I hope I can do it that one needs to reach their healthy weight which may not be a size 2 or 4 so to speak.

Original Post by fidget84:

"Number three being I will not exercise to burn calories, rather to make my body happy. I don't want movement to become a chore or something ed controls"

you should not be exercising for any reason while at your bmi. full stop

 i hope this doesent sound like im being funny fidget , you are totally right in what you said , but exercise is an addiction like drugs or drink , people cant always just give it up all straight away . i have struggled with this and ive had to cut it more due to back pain. my theapist just told me to gradually reduce it , which as worked for me , when i tryed to stop completely things went a bit pear shape . im not saying its right to exercise at a low bmi just sometimes it is always possible hope i havnt offended you h x

I'm with fidget on this one. The point is helen - ED is an addiction. Exercise can be one component of it. "People can't always give it up all straight away" could be applied to ED in its totality. Now I may be extreme (which is why I "caught" the ED bug in the first place), but I'm an advocate of the cold turkey approach in this matter. Seriously, I found that the only way I could really grab my ED by the balls, so to speak, was by cutting out all exercise. This helped TREMENDOUSLY psychologically, and the physical aspect was a no-brainer. At an underweight BMI exercise is DANGEROUS, point blank. Keep exercising? = End up where you are. Sorry if that sounds harsh, but it's the truth. Your back aches, your legs ache... You are suffering the consequences of your addiction. Do I want you to keep suffering? No. Do I think what you are experiencing now is a "punishment" of some regard? No. I believe that your body is finally stepping in where your addicted mind could not. You are being gradually forced to cut down/cease exercise whether you like it or not. Edwk6 is making great in-roads in her recovery (as are you helen), and I want this to continue for her. The body can be moved, by all means - gentle walks in the sunshine are great! But exercise should be off the agenda for the time being. Now is the time to rediscover that poetic, musical self. 

point taken nina , i was just telling you what had worked for me and that was gradually reducing it h x

That's fair enough helen :) Again, I do encourage movement - just not in the form of structured exercise. And even then, it really does depend on current health status. I know that ecwk6 has been gaining and getting her BMI up, so such walks are just fine. I hope you're all doing well x

Tessa I have to disagree that you can't give up something that is ed all at one time like the exercise or purging etc. You can but you choose not to. I understand that this is a huge battle and an addiction but we all have choices in this and can push through. I think it is an excuse when people say this to not move forward and make it ok in some way and it is not.I used to feel the way you do until I became ill with my nerve conditions. That I can't change or push through just like others who have health conditions but an ed,drugs,other addictions you can. It is not easy at all as why I have struggled for so many years. It was a choice though. Now I am choosing not to engage in it and when I struggle to face that instead of coming up with reasons to make it ok when it is not.I hope I did not offend anyone just thoughts I have and I am not saying that everyone here is not working hard but we can not just settle for better.