i might get burned.. scorched even for this post!!

im posting this here in weight gain coz its wher most of the ed sufferers hang out....

do you think there should be censorship on the photos ppl put on their cc accounts. ok now i know if your sufferering and have a pic of yourself where you're skinny, you cant help it... but i have seen some pics of people who are devastatingly thin - but are posing in a sort of thinspo way... you know like mirror photos or photos designed to highlight bones and emaciation. these are not photos taken socially or in a 'random photo' context. they seem to be planned and thought out. as though the sufferer is proud. they're not a photo from a recent birthday or anything!!

now this site doesnt advocate or promote pro-ana or mia behaviour. in fact it bans it. but i cant help but think that sometimes the allowance of these photos sets up a competitive atmosphere.... an unhealthy competition.

i have great respect for a lot of ppl here. so this is not directed at anyone ok? but.. i find them triggering. and the sick part of me is sometimes still envious (great shame in admitting that).

so i am just wondering what ppl's opinions are....

please dont flame me... its just a question and observation.

qualquann, the thing is, I was really kind of whining and feeling sorry for myself and at the same time realized I had a vague kind of point. If that makes sense.

I understand the problems people have with pictures. Maybe NO ONE who is "triggered" should be on this site then.

I do, however, believe that body issues associated with menses are not specific to the ED group and as such I ask for pardon in my whining...

I also have spoken with some of those girls and I like them very much, so perhaps I'm a little defensive of them, while still validating your points.

I feel quite hurt in away, my intent was not to trigger people, it was to make people realise the dangers of starvation, im not in anyway proud of looking like that . i generally want to get better and this site has helped me so much . at the end of the day people dont have to look at the pictures, i have also shown pictures of my weight gain but if it as seen as i am causing problems i will remove these pictures. i think you have been rather rude to some of the girls who have worked so hard . h x

and to say i dont want to get better how in gods name do you know what im want . i guess i need to listen to the people who opinions matter like my theapist who knows how far ive come, im sorry i dont want to cause conflict but im very upset h x

Helen, sweetie, you can't take it personally. This person was just venting. Remember that we all have disorted body image so how we see ourselves and how we see others sometimes and how all of those things relate aren't quite right. Everyone here has different issues. You don't need to let this in. If anything just let it be inspiration to go on, to get better, to flaunt some really sexy curvacious pictures this September of a healthier you:-) But this is just a forum to some people and some people really don't know how seriously comments are taken. Don't let it blow your day or week, you know that you are loved, liked and valued.

thanks bethany i know i need to takes others views on board and i take what qualquun says i just find it frustrating , when people tell me i dont want to get better it makes me feel so weak and i start to worry that i cant do it h x

I was reading this whole thing with my jaw down to the floor! You know what? Yes, sometimes I get triggered too, but isn't posting your opinion about these people kinda rude? I mean, it is good to discus it, in case it is a real problem and lots of people are triggered, but seriously!?

How would you feel if you had a really low self esteem (like many people with ED's do) and other people were saying how "DISGUSTING" you looked!? Yes, you Agruskin. 
And I don't mean to be rude, I think you are very encouraging and caring to many of us going through recovery, but that is why I was so shocked by your first post! I'm sorry but that is just rude!

No, I don't know what anyone with these pictures feel about this thread, and their pictures. Some may feel they want to brag, and some are probably ashamed. But I'm pretty sure everyone of those people who post these photos, heck; even everyone on this forum, no, on this site! wants support!

No, this site is not a pro-ana or mia, we all know that. This site is for support and help, that's what we all want. right?

And I fully agree with those of you bringing up that it may be triggering, and yes I understand you're trying to support people too, but nobody who posts these photo's looks like that on purpose! Even those who are doing it to brag and show off how skinny they are, that's obviously not on purpose.. Maybe the "ana" inside of them is, but they ARE sick people! And isn't what we are all trying to do is HELP those who are sick! So why make them feel worse!?

Edit: Sometimes, I even(and I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one) get triggered by other peoples posts; just they're BMI, and how vmuch they way, thing that are happening, just nomal stuff. But seriosly? Isn't that the life of haveing an ED?!

I don't know what I'm really suggesting here, because I agree with both sides of the argument.. but.. *sigh* I dunno, Just think before you type people! Put your-self in others shoes for crying out loud!

Original Post by qualquun:

merylwhite1 - i see you've deleted your emaciated picture of you at 100 lbs, kindly stating that you lost 40 more after that. it was triggering, and sounded like bragging. thanks for deleting it. your entire description of you at your worst is triggering and could stir up some competition in the mind of current sufferers....

....if you're going to post a thin picture, please make it current. and please don't make some kind of faux self-degrading comment about it like "oh god, so thin! never again! this is my inspiration!" no one is buying it. we can see you're thin. if you must, just post it and move on....

Easy tiger.

Yes, after thinking about this post I decided to delete the photo you are talking about. However, in no way was that photo a "thinspo" photo - it was a family photo with all my relatives, for God's sakes! Plus I was wearing jeans and a long-sleeved top - in no way was I making myself look purposely emaciated.

In no way is my profile pro-ana. I am an extremely pro-recovery person and anyone who has actually used these forums frequently will know that. Stating facts is NOT bragging. I am not proud or ashamed of the weight I reached. In hindsight it's sad and I was scarily sick, but you are making these assumptions about bragging which are pretty hurtful and frustrating because they're simply not true. You have a very cynical mind to assume that nobody who says "never again" actually means it.

Perhaps I will shorten my bio. I certainly do not want to trigger anyone - that is the LAST thing I would ever want to do and lots of people here would already know that. All I have ever tried to do here is help myself and help other people if I could. Having said that, you cannot take away the reality that eating disorders are a huge part of my past and have brought me to where I am today. Why should I deny that? Why should I have to hide that? Having anorexia or bulimia is NOT a reason to be ashamed of yourself - that's an attitude which has stopped many people with eating disorders from seeking treatment and simply put, prolonged their suffering.

I think it's bizarre that I had ONE photo of me while I was underweight, and most certainly not at my lowest weight, and you are attacking me for it. It's hardly like I have a gallery of my in-hospital photos on display is it? Next time think a little more before launching a personal attack on members here. You could easily have made your point without making everyone else feel needlessly like ****.

Qualquun - funnily enough, I don't think it's 'hilarious' that I posted here - if you actually LOOKED at my gallery (have you?) you'd see there are 2 pictures of me that are underweight and not 'current' (my profile picture is how I look NOW) Both were taken at the weight I was either when I started CC or when I started recovery. Neither are my lowest weight, and nor would I ever post a photo of my lowest weight because frankly, I did look disgusting. I posted those photos in the same way someone at a obese weight might post a 'before' photo and a 'midway' photo - to show progress. And the reason I don't have them as my profile picture is because I'm aware they COULD be triggering, which is why they're in my gallery.

We all know how to look 'extra' thin in a photo. It's not difficult, particularly when your BMI is very low. The kind of photo >I< was criticising, as I SAID previously, was the PROFILE picture craze of standing either in front of a mirror or some other poor sod who has to photograph you in next to nothing, with your limbs at the most ridiculously contorted angles so that you can look even more emaciated than anorexia has already made you.

I didn't criticise people's galleries at all. Though having said that, some people do just seem to have posted an anorexia scrapbook, but I guess that's up to them. In my opinion, whether I like it or not, the only part WE should be concerned about is people's PROFILE pictures - the ones people cannot help but see.

Looking at some of qualquun's previous posts I see she has posted in the Young Calorie Counter's forum with a goal weight that would give her a BMI of 18.6... She's also posted about how she thinks about starving and purging...

For someone who thought reading my bio was triggering, it reeks of hypocrisy. Ever heard the phrase "let he who is without sin throw the first stone"?

Original Post by qualquun:

if you're going to post a thin picture, please make it current.

Is there some rule which says all photographs have to be current? Most people here using the site for weight loss have pictures of themselves at different weights. Why can't people in recovery or who have recovered do the same? Are we to deny all history of an ED because to you acknowledgement of where we have come from is "bragging"? Please.

I am still against pro-ana or thinspo photos, but this comment just struck me as particularly ridiculous.

You know first I want to say that I think the people on here are caring and I have gotten very good support here. Aka why I come on here everyday almost. It helps to feel less alone. What I do feel is in general and I have very close friends from ip that I consider like family but anyhow ed suffers and that can be even in recovery take on a very selfish/self absorbed nature. People are going on about themselves and very few responses have been concern for fidget who made this post and also stated she is going through a hard time. She has been there for all of you guys and I think one needs to look within on how many other times in their real life they focus on themselves rather then others needs/support and how many relationships they have lost due to the ed Again I am not saying anyone here is bad or horrible as I have friends that I consider true ones that do the same but I still think it is wrong when they don't support others when they should and really it hurts me and I would hate for fidget for ex to feel that way.

Instead of making this a drama post with hurt feelings and unkind words which are unnecessary I encourage people to look at why they posted the pictures they have and are their underlying issues behind them. If there is any ? that it may impact someone elses recovery or mindset I encourage you to take them down. This is an open forum so people do have the right to post what they like but I would hope they would not want to impact someone else in a a negative way. For people who may be triggered I encourage you to not look through the gallery. This is a coping skill to not set you up. 

I hope I did not offend anyone as I see everyone is very kind here though sometimes peoples choice of words confuse me like the post about not caring if you hurt someones feelings. That is something that could of been stated in a nicer way.  

No offence to fidget but... although she made the post, the topic of the thread wasn't about her. I was just sticking to the topic... At least, that was the way I saw it

ETA: Fidget I hope you don't take the above as I sign I am not concerned about you. I am and I hope you get through this rough patch. All of us here know you are a fighter so you have all the strength you need to beat those demons right there within you. (((Hugs))).

I second meryl there, i wasnt meaning to disreguard fidget. im sorry you are having a rough time. you are a fighter, youve come so far and are such a help to other particarly myself ., remember we are here for you to its ok to say how you are feeling with things to, everybody on here just wants to support you.

my guess qualquun has many issues , perhaps she or he felt the pictures triggered them and felt angry just a suggestion

no hard feelings guys h x

I know the post did not start as fidget and her struggle but she did mention it and I thought more people would be there for her to offer advice.

Both of you are very caring people and so I don't want you think I meant this meanly. Like I said I have close friends who sometimes do similar.

In any regards I just feel like people are taking the responses very personal and it seems to be bringing up a lot of emotions no matter what. Remember just because someone has an opinion or says something about us like for ex Tessa I know you were hit hard about the recovering statement does not mean it is true. It could be or not but one has to look in their heart to really know.

qualquann I don't think you are being very fair to the ED recoverers who posted photos of themselves on their profiles, people like Helen who show pictures of themselves at extremely low weights show the horrors  of anorexia, not "oh look how thin I was I bet YOU weren't this thin". Yes, people should preferably not post photos of them posing like "look at me! I'm skinny!" but there is nothing wrong with showing to what horrible health extremes eating disorders can take you. I personally find that looking at emaciated pictures makes me want to recover NOW before I let anything go to such an extreme degree. 

Also, almost everyone with an ED finds numerous things triggering...it is not fair to tell everyone they can't do anything that might potentially trigger you. 

Most people post photos of themselves that they think are attractive at the time...many times later we recoil in horror over size, expression, clothes, hair styles, etc.  If you can't find a photo that you like from a normal photo album, then it makes sense to pose a photo.  You wouldn't take a photo of your arm showing the fat hanging down, you flex the muscle so that it looks more attractive however misguided your current view of attractive might be.  Photos in mirrors are common because it's hard to take your own photo but most don't want to admit that they're posing only for a good photo to a friend.

Yeah, I've tried to avoid posting pictures for that reason.. The last thing I want to do is trigger anybody.. That's one of my worst fears ever. I don't know how I'd live with myself if I found out that I triggered someone to revert back to their ED. =[[

Original Post by goobyb:

Yeah, I've tried to avoid posting pictures for that reason.. The last thing I want to do is trigger anybody.. That's one of my worst fears ever. I don't know how I'd live with myself if I found out that I triggered someone to revert back to their ED. =[[

If someone is really and truly set on recovery, then one single person doing something slightly triggering definitely should not be enough to make them revert back to their ED. If it is, then they are not ready for recovery in the first place.

I'm new to this site but this thread has been pretty surprising to come across.

It was my understanding that this type of community is for people to be positive and find support if they don't have any currently in their life.  The few profiles I've browsed through have shown people proud of the progress they have made.  I think that's absolutely healthy.  If you work hard for a prize or trophy you best believe it's going someplace prominent.  Not only does it let you feel accomplished but it helps inspire others.

Ripping on each other because you're personally offended at their progress is your own problem.  It's like you're drinking poison and waiting for them to die.  The world is full of people that aren't like you or going what you're going through.  Modern communication has made it easier to find people in similar circumstances.  It helps a lot of people get support and not feel so alone. 

People have to be responsible for how they handle the outside world.  I believe it was a nice sentiment putting forth the question of a safeguard.  However, I also believe that if people are scrounging through profiles then they are trying to trigger.  (Trigger is a new phrase for me but I think I get the jest of it.)  If that's happening then they will either reach out for help or break until somebody steps in.

Don't be so negative with each other.  Nothing good will come of it for anyone.

Original Post by cowcow44:

Original Post by goobyb:

Yeah, I've tried to avoid posting pictures for that reason.. The last thing I want to do is trigger anybody.. That's one of my worst fears ever. I don't know how I'd live with myself if I found out that I triggered someone to revert back to their ED. =[[

If someone is really and truly set on recovery, then one single person doing something slightly triggering definitely should not be enough to make them revert back to their ED. If it is, then they are not ready for recovery in the first place.

 I see what you mean.. But who knows...they might find other people's profile's triggering. There is that occasional pro-ana person who finds their way to this site, and sometimes posts emaciated pictures of themselves. Since not many pictures of me are taken in the first place, I would have to go to a mirror or have someone take a picture for me. But I would never have the intent of making myself look emaciated or to trigger anyone.