Should I mind my own business?

So there is this girl at my gym & she is very obese , I see her there like twice a week she started off with another girl (just a big) but the other girl I only see maybe once a month. Anyway the girl who comes regularly gets on the treadmill at about 2 mph (she was next to me once & I was nosy) usually I’m so into my grove that I don’t notice anyone around me but I have noticed her. And I would like to approach her & give her words of encouragement especially since her friend doesn’t come as often. But I also don’t want her to feel like she’s under some spotlight & then stop coming. It has to be hard enough for her to go in there alone.

I thought I would start off with a smile & a hello but she doesn’t make any eye contact & I’m usually already on the elliptical when she gets there & still on when she leaves (she does about 15-20 min).

I guess I can try hopping on the elliptical closes to the treadmills, she likes this one treadmill that is partially covered by a pillar (I never thought of that machine that way before).

Should I approach her, if so how would you do it?

If it's not interrupting either of your workouts, I'd just say a quick hi with a smile and maybe something to the effect that it's nice to see familiar faces.  If it's going to interrupt either of your workouts I would just leave her to her own devices.  If she's wearing a color that you particularly like, or has the same ipod or something like that you could make an additional compliment.

Interrupting someone's workout is just rude imo and no amount of friendliness, particularly when it's for your own benefit justifies it.  The gym is an awkward enough place without adding further wierdness.

Hi,

I appreciate that you genuinely mean well, but I'd leave her alone if I was you.  I feel terribly self conscious and hypersensitive at the gym, and I'd be really embarrassed if somebody came up to me with "words of encouragement".   If she doesn't make eye contact when you smile at her, and hides behind a pillar when exercising,  I would say that she doesn't want to be approached and she doesn't want to feel like she is being watched.

If you see her outside of the exercise area itself and want to be friendly - sure - chat about the weather, or complain about an instructor or something, you never know you might make a friend or a gym buddy.  But please don't offer her any 'encouragement', even though you really really mean it!

Ax

Yeah my thoughts exactly, I just thought if she had a friend or someone to talk to at the gym maybe it would encourage her to stay on track. She has been coming less.

Btw: I don’t think it would interrupt her workout.

I say no, the fact that you said she goes to a machine covered by a pillar shows the she really doesn't want to be noticed. Something like that could discourage her from coming.  If she's like me she will start wondering who else has noticed her there and stop coming.

I do think it's incredibly nice of you to want to say something to her, but as others have said, it's probably not a good idea. 

It is a really nice thought, though. :)

I'd introduce myself and say hello.   Maybe something Like "HI, I'm Azule08,  I see you in here all the time,  whats your name"   Start there.

The last thing I want to hear when I'm in the gym is someone else giving me advice.  Once you get to know her,  she may ask you for some help or advice.

Just my few cents - when I go to the gym, my goal is to do my thing... ALONE ... and leave. Heck, I hate it when someone even glances my way when I'm on a machine. I like to feel invisible.

I did have someone comment about my HIIT work once though. It was a very nice compliment, quite encouraging to keep pushing myself, but it also kinda surprised me cuz I had no idea she was watching. lol

Don't say anything to her that you wouldn't say to any other member. She may be bigger than most other gym-goers, but I doubt she wants to get special treatment for it. 

Admire her silently. And like someone else said, if you happen to be right next to her say hello. But nothing more than that. 

Trust me mind your own business..if you try to encourage them they will only get offended. No offense, but most people who go to the gym usually don't lose any weight because they haven't took the time and educate themselves on calorie counting. Most will just workout and continue to eat bad.

I think I'm the odd one out here. The people in my gym don't look at each other and barely speak at all, let alone smile. I have learnt just to stick my iPod on and ignore everyone.

When I began I would have killed for a "hello"! Maybe just leave her to do her workout BUT if you do want to approach her, wait until she gets off her machine and hop off of yours and head in the same direction she's going. Make some excuse about getting more water, or going to the loo. ( Yes, it will muck up your workout -once!) When you pass her, say hello and try to mention something nice about her/something in common with her. ( NOT how flushed both of your faces are, maybe admit something to her that you would a close friend, to let her know you have problems exercising too) Then say seeya to her and the next time, pick a machine next to hers and if she happens to look your way, smile, then go back to working out.. Then she knows there's a friendly face nearby.

Haha, sorry.. You don't have to stalk her, just let her know there's someone friendly there. If after that, she still is unresponsive, leave it. She's probably a lone-exerciser. Good luck!

Well when I looked at her stats I did it on the cool so I’m sure she didn’t notice I was checking them out (I have read on here that people don’t like that). But she caught my attention because she kept looking at mine, I don’t mind I’m proud of them, I work hard for them. But that’s when I first noticed her. I’m like most people at the gym I get in & get out, I have my Ipod in or plug into the tv. I’m working out at a rate where I can’t do anything else.

I know how hard it is to be new to a gym or be the biggest girl in the room. I’m just offering a friendly face so she doesn’t feel alone, I wouldn’t advise her on any of it unless she asked. There have been other women her size there but don’t come back after 3-4 sessions, she’s different I think she has more fight in her.

I make friends easy so I don’t think I would make her feel like a special case but simply one of the girls. I’m just going to try a good old fashion smile & hello and see if she is open to that. If she isn’t that’s ok too.

She didn’t come yesterday…

i would say something to her.. not sure what though... when i first started this guy was like.. "i see u in here often, keep up the good work"  then told me about how it was when he started out and how much he's lost...  it helped me to keep motivated for a minute... maybe offer to be her workout buddy or something?  b like.. im in need of a workout partner..  or something like that... i dont kno... but i kno its hard to be the "fat girl" at a gym.. ya kno.. u may just encourage her

Leave her alone.  she's probably terribly self conscious of people watching her (even if they have nice things to say).....but the post up thread about "they probably still eat bad" is a prime example of why. 

Has our society really gotten to the point that we can't just say hello and strike up a conversation with a stranger we see regularly?  It's like the social rules we have for elevators.  No one talks to anyone or looks at anyone on an elevator.  Everyone just stares at the numbers or the door.  But if you take the same elevator at the same time with the same person every day, it gets a little ridiculous.

I don't think it's unreasonable to say hi to her and maybe comment that you seem to work out at the same time as each other and to generally just be friendly.  Definitley don't interrupt her workout, and it's not necessary to go out of your way to talk to her, but if the opportunity arises, why not make a friend?  If she acts like she just wants to be left alone, then leave her alone.

I definitely think you should say hi!  You said she only does about 20 minutes of workout, but perhaps she would stay longer if she had some positive reinforcement.  A lot of people who don't want to be interrupted are the ones that are there to focus, who know what they're doing, and are sufficiently on the right track.

But there are also people (like this woman) who could probably use a smile or a friendly word.  She most likely doesn't have a ton of confidence, and doesn't get approached by people for no reason very often.

I would love it if someone came up and talked to me at the gym, gave me pointers, or taught me something.  I've come a long way on my own, but there are so many people that I see who really know what they're doing, and I want to walk up and ask them for advice! 

I'd start out by saying hi, and keeping the conversation simple.  Get a feel for it to get an idea of how your "advice" would be received.  If she throws her workout towel at you and storms off, well at least you tried and now you know :)

You say she wasn't there yesterday... were you there the entire time the gym was open?  There's a chance she might have different hours free to hit the gym and who knows, maybe she's there for her 20minutes every day?

If you do talk to her, don't just start off with the motivation.
If someone came up to me saying that I would probably take it as 'Oh I see you're finally moving your fatass there Sulfyr.'
I honestly hate when people try to talk to me at the gym, but maybe I'm just a negative person. I just want to watch my Star Trek on the elliptical in peace. (LOL)

As someone else posted before, if you do approach her, see if you can find a common interest and become gym buddies.

If she isn't bothering you, i'd say leave her alone.