Misogynistic men and their sons

My 15 year old daugher is working this year for her Martial Arts instructor.   He is running a summer program for the parents who bring their kids to class.  One of those parents, literally takes advantage of the after school program and day camp and thats it.   He is a masoginistic man that needs to have a real man beat him up the way he beat up his ex wives.

My daughter called me at 7 am this morning to tell me that the only girl that is enrolled in the summer day camp program  was touched improperly  yesterday by the 14 year old son of this masoginistic Jerk.  She is all of 9.    Lucky for us the state police officer that recieved the file, has a son that attends school there as well and he is all over it.   Making sure most of the details stay away from the media so the school doesn't take a negative hit and making sure the boy is arrested.

I know hes 14.  Whatever was going on in his  head that said it was okay for him to do that, has solitified and there is probably no going back for him.   But, right now, I want someone to take his father "out to the woodshed" as my grandfather use to say and give him the beating of his life he deserves.

No little girl should have to go through that.   Not only that but my 15 year old daughter is probably going to have to go to court to testify against him.   He tried to stick his hands up her shirt about a week ago.  She didn't bother to tell me until she found out about the little girl.   When I asked her why she hadn't said something,   Her answer was "Mom I just used one of your lines,  Remove your hand from my body before I remove your arm from yours.  It works well because with all my Jujitsu training the guys always believe I can." 

My daughter can handle herself, I made sure of it.  This mother was trying to do the same thing and her child got  hurt in the very way she didn't want it to happen.   He couldn't have done much touching.  He didn't have the time.  They were playing hide and go seek.  They were hiding in the same place together.  So it had to have been a fairly fleeting thing.  But, shes only 9. 

SHES ONLY 9!!!!!!!!!   I know it could be worse.  She could have been 3 like I was but then again, It was the time when I was 10 I remember the best.   He only had 5 minutes alone with her, and she was smart enough to tell her mother.   She will be fine.  A few therapy sessions and telling the world will prove good for her.   Its not what I went through.  He wouldn't have even had time to  unbutton her clothes much less get them off.  She would have screamed if he had tried.  Shes a smart girl. 

But still.........She shouldn't have to go to court and tell people what he did.   My daughter shouldn't have to go to court and back her up.  She will.  She probably won't want to, but  I know her, she won't leave that little girl without back up and even if she could I wouldn't let her.  

But all of this still boils down to the fact that if that boys father wasn't the way he was that boy wouldn't be in the kind of trouble he is in now.   He needs therapy and away from his father.  His father needs a jail cell.  But, you know what,  Considering his father is a fairly well off used car salesmen that owns one of those buy here pay here places,  Hes probably going to hire a really good lawyer and the boy will probably get community service if that.

The system doesn't work.  This man should have never had custody of his kids to begin with.  He got it because his ex wives are all petrified of him.   I hate this. 

Now I have to spend the rest of the day, trying not to eatting everything in the house.   No, Ill be Okay.  Its just another jerk in the world of many.  I have control of my ficks and flashes.  I have control of my life and my over eating.   I will be fine.   I will not give away my power to anyone ever again.   I give up my power when I over eat to sooth emotional scars.   I won't do that.  Not this time.

 

wow.. you have me in tears.. you are so strong.. I hope that there are more mothers like you in this world..

the world is a sick place.  i'm glad you've raised your daughter so that she will help that girl stand up against creeps like that.

*sigh.

keep strong. keep well.

No Im not that strong.  Not really.   I was just lucky.  At 16 someone asked me if I was going to keep giving away my power to my abuser by acting the way I was, or if I was going to take my power back and stop letting him win.   I have spent the last 19 years thinking about every desision I make to make sure I wasn't giving away my power. 

I have a wonderful husband who knows me well.   He called right after I made this post.  I started talking about wanting a Mt Dew and Chocolate.  Then I said I wasn't giving into the need to eat.  He asked me how many calories I had consumed today and what exactly I had eaten.  Ive been ordered to eat some Strawberries cause, I need more fruit and more calories.   He knows I need to eat about 1500 calories today.  Ive had 2 small biscuits, and one piece of bacon I cooked under the broiler and a small piece of Diet Coke Chocolate cake.

If I know him he will call again around 2 and make sure I eat a nice sensible snack.   He won't let me over eat but he won't let me starve either.   He knows me well enough to know, I need him to hold my hand.  I would have done those things anyway, but it helps having him hold my hand. 

 

Ladykelien,

I send you white light and healing energy.

Thank you Moonikins.  It is appreciated more than you know