MOLLY'S DIET RANTS! (ranting, raving, motivating & more)

RANTING BURNS CALORIES!

This is an open, ongoing, support-encourage-motivational-RANTING thread. Feel free to skip to the end, or spend days reading through all of this ...

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I have decided that "Diet" is a 4-letter word.

I find myself muttering and uttering the word around my house these days with loathing and vehemence previously reserved only for comments directed toward liberal politicians. In fact, I seem to be talking to myself a lot more these days .... sort of a running, sarcastic commentary on all the foods I can't eat, or on various other related topics. I wonder if there is a link between calorie-deprivation and Tourettes Syndrome? Grrrrrrrrr.....

I am now on Day 8 of the dreaded D-word. This is already the longest period of time that I have ever successfully remained on a diet. And I seem to be growing grouchier and feistier each day..... at least when I am alone and no one is around to hear my running rants. (My wonderful DH has heard some of my more memorable rants on the subject of broccolli and reports that I am hysterically funny when I am hungry!) I am counting carbs. I am counting calories. I am counting fat grams. Sheesh ... now my math anxiety is about to kick-in!

Mini Rant #1 .... what masochist decided that the serving size of cereal was anything less than 2 cups? Have you ever measured out 2/3 a cup of cereal? Or even a full cup? And placed it in a bowl? Those few little flakes and pieces just sit forlornly at the bottom of the bowl, shivering and lonely, even when we dribble on a few meager droplets of skim milk! Sheesh. Well, I can tell you that there is simply no way that my oversized body is going to be happy with that tiny amount of cereal ... so I have been eating TWO servings for breakfast. SIGH. And while the side of the box says that I can supplement the cereal with some fruit, they probably don't mean eat 45 cherries with your cereal -- much less 1/2 a watermelon, huh?

Mini Rant #2 .... Things NOT to say to someone who has told you that they have just started on a diet:

1.Good, you sure needed it.
2. It's about time.
3. Really? It doesn't look like it.
4. Again? Haven't we heard this before?
5. Gosh, how much weight do you need to lose?
6. What do you weigh? I've always wondered.
7. I never need to diet, I have a fast metabolism.
8. Really? I can eat all I want and never gain weight.
9. Is THAT why you are so grouchy?
10. I sure hope you plan to exercise a lot more.

AAAUGGH! All of these responses are just the thing to make me even grouchier .... so just smile and say something encouraging and supportive, ok? I will let you know how it is going.

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=^..^=  Molly 

WELCOME TO MOLLY'S MOTIVATIONAL RANT / CHAT THREAD ... FEEL FREE TO SHARE YOUR RANTS, TOO!  YOU CAN EITHER READ FROM THE BEGINNING OR JUST JUMP ON IN ON THE LAST PAGE ... JOIN US! 

I think I last exercised some time in the 1980s ... I distinctly remember having "Flock of Seagulls" hair and wearing leg warmers and a torn-neck sweatshirt.  Anyway, fast forward to 2007 (what's a decade or two among friends, right?) and I am now trying to be healthier.  So... I asked my wonderful DH if he would take me to the local bike store and buy me a tricycle, and he said yes!!! So, we hopped in the car and headed there.

The store was staffed by rail-thin young men wearing skin-tight bike clothes (nice from a viewing standoint, intimidating when I realized I weighed more than ALL of them, combined.) Still, a nice young man approached and asked what I needed. "I need a tricycle for a fat person, please."  Bless his heart, he just repeated back, "You need a trike" and led us to the corner where they had a nice stack of brown cardboard boxes. (Ummm... how helpful is looking at a brown box supposed to be, anyway?)  I smiled, glanced at the boxes (hmmm... brown... rectangular) and asked if he had PHOTOS of the trikes. He then showed us the catalog. We decided on the traditional model/style and a color of raspberry (hot pinkish).

I then asked to see the bells and horns. "I thought the bike was for YOU," he said, and then wisely went on .... "but sure, you can have a bell and horn."  I selected a patriotic bell and a nice, annoying horn and a nifty red flashing light for the rear basket.  Anyway, the bike should be ready tomorrow ... after it gets assembled.

My DH got a navy blue bike, no bell or horns... he is not nearly as flashy as I am, I guess!

YAY! I get a new toy to play with!   :)


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=^..^=   Molly (check out my cute pet photos)

Good for you Molly!  What a fun way to get exercise and spend time with your hubby.

Hi Molly and everybody, what a kick reading you guys.
It's so easy to loose your sense of humor when you're trying to juggle hot flashes and a cold scale that won't move, even if you shake it.I've been counting calories, percentages and grams for the last 4 weeks and all I have to show for it is a measly .5lb.
Oh well, you might say, at least you haven't gained. That would be another inaproppiate and insensitive response. 
That's my rant for today. I promise I will keep adding to the list.

P.S.: Molly, you should get paid for writing. You do a great job. 

I wonder if hot flashes burn calories?! <grin>  YES! We must must must must keep our senses of humor! And never forget that one laugh burns 6 calories! (hee hee hee)

Note to CC:  Items to add to the activity log ....

1. Stepping on/off scale 20 times to get a better number

2. Hot Flashes

3. Ranting about Dieting

4. Trying to squeeze into too-small-jeans (surely that must burn HUNDREDS of calories)

5. Holding in tummy when you run into someone you know at the grocery store.

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=^..^= Molly (check out my cute pet photos)

Molly - once again I am so proud of you. You went down there and purchased that trike. I wish you lived close to me. I think we would have so much fun together. I might make it a block on the trike with you. :>) Have you ever ridden a trike before. I mean an adult trike? My mom had one a few years ago, and there is a trick to riding it. You'll find out that when you turn, you lean different on the trike than uyou do on a bike. That's bvery important. I would suggest that if you have never ridden one, that you first practice on a parking lot.

Add to your activity list the mere job of toileting. That will burn a bunch of calories, the positions one my size has to get into to complete the job. A visual you probably didn't need.

Molly -- I almost spewed my coffee all over the screen at your "Flock of Seagulls" comment -- I actually have them on my IPOD...

Rant for today:
Took my measurements, as the scale wasn't doing anything in 3 weeks. Guess what?My waist is exactly in the same place as when I started. And don't give me that BS that I'm gaining muscle... I'm not.
So, asked my hubby this morning to help me get rid of the Nordic Track that's been collecting dust and rust in the bedroom for the last 5 years. He said: later honey... so I thought later would take another 5 years and, I woke up this morning on a mission. I figured I could burn about 5 calories moving that "Albatross" myself and did just that. Out in the garbage! I moved my stationary bike in front of the TV and did 20 minutes watching Rachel Ray cook dinner in 30 minutes. Not a smart thing to watch, I was famished at the end of the show and got myself a snack that was twice the 80 calories I burned pedalling.
I'll have to watch CNN while I pedal, so I don't get hungry... 
Anyway, enjoy the weekend. I'm off to play duplicate bridge. Not a smart thing to do either. They lay down a huge table with sweets and snacks that keep calling my name. I plan to take 15 almonds and 3 dried apricots, hopefully it will keep me honest.
Later

oh my geeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeezzzzz molly..

i just burned a lot of calories reading this thread. i should make it a habit. XD

i was like breathless, laughing out too loud that there wasnt any sound when i was reading your scale confessions. god u make me tickled. thanks for a, uhmm,,well.. humorous post. love it!!! keep at it. wish u well on your four letter word. =) 

Ahhh .... exercise equipment. What a great rant topic!!! Over the years, I am sure that many of us have purchased a gym-full of exercise equipment, haven't we? What an expensive way to clutter up our homes and garages, huh?

I remember, years ago, buying this bungee-cord like thing that you attached one end to your ankle, one end to a doorknob, and then you were supposed to lay on the floor and do leg lifts or something. I also remember that if you didn't do it PERFECTLY, one end would slip off the doorknob and come hurtling toward your tender inner thigh at 400 mph, to land with an earth-shattering THWAP and causing shrieks of agony.  Hard to believe that we paid money for these things, huh?

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=^..^=   Molly (check out my cute pet photos)

Did you ever get the Ab-Doer. I got it, tried it and named it AB-Don't

Ab-Don't .... hee hee hee.

No, never tried that one. But I did try Suzanne Sommer's Thighmaster... that one lasted about a week!!!

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=^..^= Molly (my cats are cuter than your cats)

I never tried that one Molly. One piece of exercise equipment that I really did like and I still have it, but am not able to use it right now is the Cardioglide. It's pretty cool. Are you familiar with it?

My main gripe with exercise equipment is...the weight restriction! Hello...i'm well over the 150kg weight limit set on the (non-commercial) treadmill. I have to get in shape in order to use equipment to get in shape.

a plus i think is all these products coming out in 100 calorie packs , but yes in general the serving sizes are infuriating.

i recently bought the new jello and fruit cups - they advertise an entire fruit serving in the cup and low calories at around 70 or 90.  i'm trying to help my mom get into calorie counting and healthier snacks so i bought a bunch of these for her to take to work and me to have as an occasional semi-naughty treat.  (i don't do fake sugar).  anyway, turns out that lil plastic cup is 2 servings.  are they kidding me?  first of all the top is a peel away disposable foil thing so clearly they expect you to toss it and eat the container which is what any normal person will do.  so why pretend it's two servings?

also michel angelo's frozen dinners - small portion of veggie lasagna is like 240 calories or so.  i can get by on the package for dinner so that's not bad...until you find out they are call that one small frozen dinner 2 or 2.5 servings.  that's freaking insane. 

grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.  they really should be forced to put realistic portion sizes on things particularly items served in what appears to be a single size serving.  cereal is another story - your serving size and mine could be very different.  i'm doing okay with special k because a cup is a serving size.  i think 1 cup should be standard.  anything less than that is pretty absurd.

Kallie .... you are so right! Those marketing scammers have made it LOOK like you are purchasing a 90-calorie item, when in reality you are purchasing a 180-calorie item.  Take a can of Campbell's chicken noodle soup (the kind you add a can of water to)... do they honestly think that there are TWO AND A HALF servings in that tiny can??? Granted, it is only 60 calories a serving ... but just be honest and say "only 150 calories a can!"

Watch out ... some beverages are doing this these days, too. Always Always Always look at the portion sizes.... these companies are SNEAKY!

Well, I exercised today ... rode my spiffy new raspberry-colored bike for 10 minutes ... woo hoo! (I am so dreadfully out of shape and have some heart issues, so need to be pretty minimal in my exercising right now!)  We then took our two little doggies to the dog park ... which was a lot of fun (and a lot of walking!) And surely scraping doggy doo off my shoes (repeatedly) must burn some calories, right?

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=^..^=  Molly (my cute pet photos are cuter than yours!)

Just a thought that I am pondering ....

If I get my hair cut and that makes me weigh less on the scale, do I get to "count" that as "weight loss? What about nail trimming??? 

(And should I take off my wedding ring and my earrings off when I get weighed... how much do those weigh, anyway?)

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=^..^=  Molly (my cute pet photos are cuter than yours!)

Good morning fellow ranters, partners in grief, (expletive deleted) dieters...

My happiness lasted for 24 hours. I woke up yesterday to a loss of 2/10 of a pound and, to celebrate I sat on my newly moved stationary bike and pedaled like a maniac for 20 minutes. I was reaaaally good with my food intake and very hopeful to see results from my newly acquired discipline and dedication. 

Today the scale showed that this number was only a mirage, I was a full pound heavier than yesterday.AAAARRRRGGGGHHHHH..... I'm getting too old for this teasing. In my mind, 2+2 still =4. Therefore, if I eat 1200 stupid calories, spread the percentages to 40% carbs, 30% lean protein ad 30% good fats and I burn 150 calories excercising, I should be losing 1lb every 10 days. Hello???? calorie deficit? it's not working. My body is defying the laws of physics.
I'm not asking for much, only a measly pound every 10 days. This is not supposed to be rocket science, this should not require a PhD. I have been at this for soooo long I feel like I've been to grad school in dieting and planning for weight loss. Only my numbers never add up...

I feel your pain!

Artiparte ....

The laws of physics and gravity are conspiring against us....and, some days, I think our scales are in Cahoots! (OK, is that how you  spell Cahoots?)  Cheer up, though, I have it on the best authority that being a conspiracy theorist burns calories.  In my mind, all bad things in this world can be blamed on one of FOUR things ...

1. Humidity

2. Communism

3. Carbohydrates

4. Satan

Soooo..... take your pick and blame one of those four things!!! In your situation, the problem is clearly COMMUNISM. Grrr...... those pesky commies!

((( hug )))) Hang in there ... maybe all of that cycling built MUSCLE, which is heavier than .... ummm.... flab.

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=^..^= Molly (a cat photo a day keeps the grouchies away)

EXERCISE VIDEOS ....

Do they even make an exercise video showing ONLY fat, flabby, sweaty, out-of-shape people who haven't exercised since Reagan was president? With people over 40???  And with the person LEADING the video, in a similar shape ... who has to stop every 4 minutes to wipe the sweat out of her eyes and to rest from all that caloric expenditure?

An added bonus: bouncy songs I have heard of with distinguishable, non-offensive lyrics.

If so, I would buy it  -- I could relate to THAT.

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=^..^= Molly (a cat photo a day keeps the grouchies away)