MOLLY'S DIET RANTS! (ranting, raving, motivating & more)

RANTING BURNS CALORIES!

This is an open, ongoing, support-encourage-motivational-RANTING thread. Feel free to skip to the end, or spend days reading through all of this ...

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I have decided that "Diet" is a 4-letter word.

I find myself muttering and uttering the word around my house these days with loathing and vehemence previously reserved only for comments directed toward liberal politicians. In fact, I seem to be talking to myself a lot more these days .... sort of a running, sarcastic commentary on all the foods I can't eat, or on various other related topics. I wonder if there is a link between calorie-deprivation and Tourettes Syndrome? Grrrrrrrrr.....

I am now on Day 8 of the dreaded D-word. This is already the longest period of time that I have ever successfully remained on a diet. And I seem to be growing grouchier and feistier each day..... at least when I am alone and no one is around to hear my running rants. (My wonderful DH has heard some of my more memorable rants on the subject of broccolli and reports that I am hysterically funny when I am hungry!) I am counting carbs. I am counting calories. I am counting fat grams. Sheesh ... now my math anxiety is about to kick-in!

Mini Rant #1 .... what masochist decided that the serving size of cereal was anything less than 2 cups? Have you ever measured out 2/3 a cup of cereal? Or even a full cup? And placed it in a bowl? Those few little flakes and pieces just sit forlornly at the bottom of the bowl, shivering and lonely, even when we dribble on a few meager droplets of skim milk! Sheesh. Well, I can tell you that there is simply no way that my oversized body is going to be happy with that tiny amount of cereal ... so I have been eating TWO servings for breakfast. SIGH. And while the side of the box says that I can supplement the cereal with some fruit, they probably don't mean eat 45 cherries with your cereal -- much less 1/2 a watermelon, huh?

Mini Rant #2 .... Things NOT to say to someone who has told you that they have just started on a diet:

1.Good, you sure needed it.
2. It's about time.
3. Really? It doesn't look like it.
4. Again? Haven't we heard this before?
5. Gosh, how much weight do you need to lose?
6. What do you weigh? I've always wondered.
7. I never need to diet, I have a fast metabolism.
8. Really? I can eat all I want and never gain weight.
9. Is THAT why you are so grouchy?
10. I sure hope you plan to exercise a lot more.

AAAUGGH! All of these responses are just the thing to make me even grouchier .... so just smile and say something encouraging and supportive, ok? I will let you know how it is going.

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=^..^=  Molly 

WELCOME TO MOLLY'S MOTIVATIONAL RANT / CHAT THREAD ... FEEL FREE TO SHARE YOUR RANTS, TOO!  YOU CAN EITHER READ FROM THE BEGINNING OR JUST JUMP ON IN ON THE LAST PAGE ... JOIN US! 

I have been reading your posts---and I LOVE THEM!!!!!!!  You are too funny--I would love to meet you!!!!!  You are probably really fun to be with and I wish you all the sucess in the world at this "change of lifestye"!!!! 

The exercise video one above is sooooo true!  I'm only 31, but still, these chicks are around 15-18 and don't sweat at all!!!  I love the "Sweat'in to the Oldies" videos--some larger people, and they sweat!!  I personally sweat like a pig--winter and summer!  And that is after I've lost 100 lbs!!  I only have about 20lbs to go, and I still sweat, so I'd personally like to give a shout out to a women, I'll call her "DEB", that I used to work with, that said, to my face, "you're only hot because your fat!"  Screw you little women!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Ha Ha!

Hats off to you mollymouser!!!  And I do love all your little animals!!!

Hi Molly, thanks for your encouraging words... like I said, I am too old to be sidelined by a stupid scale. I'm more commited to this new life than to my marriage vows,LOL...
Conspiracy theory? I should know, I wrote the book according to my kids. My favorite culprit would be my husband. The poor man has been blamed for everything that goes wrong for the last 34 years. He now wears it as a badge of honor... putting up with the unfair treatment for so long without so much as a whimper.

Anyway, since I am a glutton for punishment too, I just got off the stationary bike. I did 25 minutes today. By Albert Einstein's definition of insanity, I must be insane. I keep doing the same thing over and over again, expecting a different result.

See ya

AAAUUGGH!!! Another summer day here of 105 degrees!!!!

"But it's a dry heat."

Dry heat??? I'm not dry! I am dripping! I am damp! I am moist! I am glistening! I am shiny! There is nothing dry about me when it is over 100 outside. Let's face it ... I am ALWAYS hot (even in winter!), and tend to wear shorts year 'round.  My poor DH shivers through the winter, and I am a happy camper -- finally!

Rant away, people! One good rant burns calories! I am sure of it!!!!  We can doooooo this!!!


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=^..^= Molly (a cat photo a day keeps the grouchies away)

WISHFUL THINKING .....

I wish peanut butter had fewer calories/much less fat.

I wish cheese had fewer calories/much less fat.

I wish Doritos were good for me.  Ditto Oreos n' milk.

I wish watching television burned 500 calories an hour.

OOooo .... I wish SLEEPING burned 400 calories an hour!!!!!

=^..^=  MOLLYMOUSERS

LMBO!  Molly!  I wish all of those too!!  So funny!  I hope you get stickied!  LOL!

so we all try to have a life in between this whole DIEyet lifestyle. well, in attending a wedding this weekend, I found myself unprepared for the spur of the moment Bob Evans trip with the bride and groom. Breakfast- hey, I am already passing up the eggs, bacon, omelettes, and numerous oh so much more tempting options and going with the harmless senior citizens short stack of 2 pancakes and fruit cup. How many calories can possibly be in two pancakes, right? at home, the mix says about 160 per pancake. Well, I get home and look at the website- ONE pancake is 330cals!!!that's 660 + 150 fruit cup all in one trying to be good sitting!! but hey, at least I didn't get the one fruit crepe, which is over 1000 cals!!!!

then at the rehearsal dinner- chevy's, I think, okay, I can do this, salad with no dressing and no cheese, and nothing but chicken and lettuce- 486cals!!!! what do they DO to the poor chicken to make it that fattening!!!! this is crazy!!!!

so add to your list- I wish having this lifestyle didn't make me feel like I would have better luck tempting the scale to be nice to me if I was a cloistered nun in the alps with no Bob Evans within a thousand miles of grueling mountainous hiking!

Molly!  You guys crack me up!  Are those all your fur-babies?!  I saw you were a rescue animal person and I think that is SO wonderful!  We have four cats right now and would have many more but we just can't afford it!  Do your dogs get along with your cats?

I totally agree with the portion thing and that watching tv should burn 500 cals/hour!


My rant: why don't I ever look like my aerobics insturctor does?!  Not even body-wise, I just mean movement-wise!  I do the exact same movement as her and she looks so graceful and I just look like an elephant trying to balance on a ball!  I have a "dance the lbs away" video and I look retarded doing the exact same moves while the instructor looks so sexy!!  Grrr!


Keep them coming because they make me laugh and therefore burn cals!!

EDIT: My mini-rant #2: why do they call the 100 cal pack Oreos?  Oreos consist of two cokies with the cream filling (the filling is the ENTIRE point of eating the cookie) but the 100 pack is just the cookie part?!  Let me tell you how pissed off I was the first packet I opened!  I believe now they have actual oreo sammiches in 100 cal pack but just because your snack is a chocolate wafer DOES NOT mean you get to call it an oreo!!

ejpredny ... I have it on the very best of authority that calories consumed in connection with a wedding are "artificially inflated" ... much like the cost of everything associated with a wedding. In other words, your 300-calorie pancake was REALLY only a 160-calorie normal pancake .... in much the same way that those $1000 floral arrangements were really only $75 arrangements that you can get at the grocery store ... so don't worry. (Plus, we all burn a LOT of calories, sucking in our tummies at events like weddings!)

Abbs83 .... the photos I have posted are SOME of my furbabies. The CC forum people, in their infinite wisdom, have limited us to posting a mere dozen photos ... so those of us over-laden with relatives (furry or otherwise) are forced to select either (a) our favorities; or (b) the most photogenic. (hee hee hee)  We currently are the proud pet parents to two great little doggies (well, doglets ... they are both under 10 pounds) ... a MiniPin mix named Minnie and a Corgi-mix named Corey.  At least count, we also had ... ummm.... whispering .... 15 cats. (purrrrr). All are rescues and all are inside-only cats. Rest assured we have a HUGE house and a dozen climbing kitty condos ... and my friends will assure you that I am a neat freak who keeps things spotless!

By the way, thanks for the fan mail, peeps! Your PMs (that's private messages, not PMS) have been very fun, very kind, and very encouraging. (big, happy smile!)

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=^..^=  MOLLY (It's my thread and I'll rant if I wanna!)

One more important note, if it doesn't have a squooshy-sweet white frosting center, it just ISN'T an Oreo, now is it?

And can we really call a bowl of lettuce "a salad" if it doesn't have any dressing, any croutons, any cheese, any real bacon bits??

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=^..^=  MOLLY (It's my thread and I'll rant if I wanna!)

BROCCOLI.

I have decided to embrace it. Not literally, otherwise I would find little green specks all over my kitchen and my clothing, but metaphorically. Relationally. Dietarily. Merrily Dietarily. I mean, if broccoli is to become a steady green staple in my food future, I should strive to ..... feeling a wee bit New Agey for a moment .... "become ONE with the broccoli."

To that end, I have decided that there is no better way to "Embrace Broccoli" (other than steaming it and eating it, of course, suitablly garnished in some spicy, low-calorie topping du jour) ... than to write poems ABOUT broccoli. And, for me, that means haiku. (For those of you who did not spend thousands of dollars getting a college degree in English, a haiku is a non-rhyming Japanese poem consisting of the lines with 5, 7, and 5 syllables per line.)

So tender and green
O! organic broccoli
You were full of bugs

...  

Whining for candy
How did this get in the cart?
Brocc'li?s not so bad  

...

Dark green stumpy trees.

You call to me so loudly

"Put down the ice cream"

...

 PLEASE! JOIN ME IN SHARING YOUR DIET-RELATED HAIKU! (Extra points if your haiku is especially dreadful and/or humorous)

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=^..^=  MOLLY (Go eat some broccoli, will ya?)

kashi is 1 cup!

i used to think like this too..


and then i realized a healthy breakfast is not a bunch of cereal.

its some cereal and fruit and maybe a protien source.

i do think having too large portions and eating only one thing makes one overeat as its not as satifying as a couple different thing. just a tip...

;)

Counting calories

I miss Oreos and milk

Where's the broccoli?

I ate my salad
I ate my canned chicken too
It is good for you

I'm not a rabbit
But see why they eat that stuff
I make it so good

What's wrong with this friends?
I call pizza a salad;
the crust are croutons

And now, a deeply-moving, inspiration quote to see you through your day ....

Albert Einstein, who discovered that a tiny amount of mass is equal to a huge amount of energy, which explains why, as Einstein himself so eloquently put it in a famous 1939 speech to the Physics Department at Princeton, "You have to exercise for a week to work off the thigh fat from a single Snickers."  ~Dave Barry, Dave Barry Turns 50


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=^..^= MOLLY (one good rant burns 5 calories!)

My thighs are chubby

O how I loathe zucchini

I yearn for brocc'li...

Fiber is my friend

So healthy in my diet

It makes me go ... poo.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!  Oh my gosh I just busted out laughing in the middle of work and three people came to see why!!!  I had to share your fiber haiku with them!!!  They didn't appreciate it as much as I did!!!

You've inspired me Molly...

Stuck on a plateau?
Fiber Fiber that's the key!
Helps process cal'ries.