MOLLY'S DIET RANTS! (ranting, raving, motivating & more)

RANTING BURNS CALORIES!

This is an open, ongoing, support-encourage-motivational-RANTING thread. Feel free to skip to the end, or spend days reading through all of this ...

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I have decided that "Diet" is a 4-letter word.

I find myself muttering and uttering the word around my house these days with loathing and vehemence previously reserved only for comments directed toward liberal politicians. In fact, I seem to be talking to myself a lot more these days .... sort of a running, sarcastic commentary on all the foods I can't eat, or on various other related topics. I wonder if there is a link between calorie-deprivation and Tourettes Syndrome? Grrrrrrrrr.....

I am now on Day 8 of the dreaded D-word. This is already the longest period of time that I have ever successfully remained on a diet. And I seem to be growing grouchier and feistier each day..... at least when I am alone and no one is around to hear my running rants. (My wonderful DH has heard some of my more memorable rants on the subject of broccolli and reports that I am hysterically funny when I am hungry!) I am counting carbs. I am counting calories. I am counting fat grams. Sheesh ... now my math anxiety is about to kick-in!

Mini Rant #1 .... what masochist decided that the serving size of cereal was anything less than 2 cups? Have you ever measured out 2/3 a cup of cereal? Or even a full cup? And placed it in a bowl? Those few little flakes and pieces just sit forlornly at the bottom of the bowl, shivering and lonely, even when we dribble on a few meager droplets of skim milk! Sheesh. Well, I can tell you that there is simply no way that my oversized body is going to be happy with that tiny amount of cereal ... so I have been eating TWO servings for breakfast. SIGH. And while the side of the box says that I can supplement the cereal with some fruit, they probably don't mean eat 45 cherries with your cereal -- much less 1/2 a watermelon, huh?

Mini Rant #2 .... Things NOT to say to someone who has told you that they have just started on a diet:

1.Good, you sure needed it.
2. It's about time.
3. Really? It doesn't look like it.
4. Again? Haven't we heard this before?
5. Gosh, how much weight do you need to lose?
6. What do you weigh? I've always wondered.
7. I never need to diet, I have a fast metabolism.
8. Really? I can eat all I want and never gain weight.
9. Is THAT why you are so grouchy?
10. I sure hope you plan to exercise a lot more.

AAAUGGH! All of these responses are just the thing to make me even grouchier .... so just smile and say something encouraging and supportive, ok? I will let you know how it is going.

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=^..^=  Molly 

WELCOME TO MOLLY'S MOTIVATIONAL RANT / CHAT THREAD ... FEEL FREE TO SHARE YOUR RANTS, TOO!  YOU CAN EITHER READ FROM THE BEGINNING OR JUST JUMP ON IN ON THE LAST PAGE ... JOIN US! 

Hey Molly, I love the "evil scale" haiku...and do keep on ranting. My DH says that low-fat foods are pricier because of the "fat extraction tax". The ingredients list on things like "fat-free mayonnaise" (which is an oxymoron BTW) is positively frightening. One version contained propylene glycol (I think I've spelled it right) which is anti-freeze! Why would any sane woman want to eat anti-freeze??? How can "they" get away with putting anti-freeze in our food??? I've decided to avoid things that might not be actual foods even though the label implies that they are...like processed cheese food..what is that??? food for processed cheese??? It gets scary when you start to think about it! You all are great BTW...I get more out of this website than I ever got out of a WW meeting. Thanks so much!

JJ :-)

heh heh heh heh .... LOL @ "fat extraction tax!"  Honestly, that is one tax that I might even pay WILLINGLY and CHEERFULLY! (And I rarely say that about paying taxes!!!)

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=^..^=  MOLLY (Have you paid your fat extraction tax today?)


 

Is it time for another rant?

I think that if the evil fast food conglomerate powers that be are going to insist on showing us commercials of yummy-looking burgers and fries, they should be required to superimpose across the screen the amount of calories AND fat that each product contains. THAT would sure help keep me from wanting whatever flame-broiled temptation that is being shown. (I am thinking of little boxes in the bottom of the screen with BIG numbers in them ... nice, happy little warnings like the ones on cigarettes.)

And, seriously, have you EVER received a burger that looks remotely like the beautiful ones pictured in commercials and advertisments? It is dreadful enough that a Burger King Whopper has something like 800 calories ... what is even sadder is that people usually get a pretty smooshed, gloopy, less-than-perfect Whopper. A Flopper, if you will.

(Dear Burger King people ... this is merely opinion and satire, please don't sue me, ok?)

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=^..^=  MOLLY (Have it your way ... healthy out of your own fridge)

I read one time a long time ago that in order to get picture perfect juicy looking advertisments for burgers in magazines, they would use stuff like petroleum jelly to make it look that way.

petroleum jelly?  ewww.  That's what we'll need to get through the doors if we eat too many of them!  :) 

Ok...Burger King rant (please don't sue me either BK...it's all in good fun!)  I am amazed at how big the sandwiches are getting...who on earth needs a TRIPLE Whopper.  Isn't a WHOPPER bad enough?  Theres something like 1200 calories and 70 grams of fat in those bad boys.  YIKES!  They do now have the "low carb" version...just the burger without mayo, ketchup or a bun.  That's not a whopper in my opinion!

oh my gosh. i just read this whole thread front to back. thankyou for the laugh. i was getting grumpy reading the posts with 90lb women thinking they are fat untill i stumbled on this. i feel so much happier. i just needed to giggle. two o calorie packs of sweetner add up to one calorie i believe. a whopper and medium fry comes to 900 calories. i too, do weird things while weighing hoping it will move. i believe if i stand real still it helps. i check the number at least 3 times and weigh in each time i go to the bathroom, striping down each time also. this burns calories right? you have me scared of my diet mountain dew, however....

Ahhh ... Diet Code Red Mountain Dew. (happy sigh)

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=^..^= MOLLY (Just Dew It!)

Please visit my new thread, Humorous Anecdotes. Laughter is good medicine and burns calories too.

Has anyone brought up that Mountain Dew "Game Fuel" stuff?  There's something to rant about.

My rant about BK... I recently was forced to choose BK for dinner as there was nothing else around and decided to "splurge" and get a cheesburger (1 patty, not 6!) and a small fry.  WELL!  They don't even HAVE small fries anymore!  My choices were Medium, Large or King size!  Why oh why is amreica so fat (**completely laden with sarcasm!!**)?  I mean come on!  It's bad enough I'm there for dinner but all I wanted was like 6 fries to indulge myself in but instead they put a medium in front of me and what do I do?  Eat the entire box of course!  I mean who's going to let those beautiful golden fries go to waste!  But seriously, I would have eaten my 6 fries in my small and been satisfied.

And *hangs head in shame* I've actually stepped on the scale, jumped off, did about 100 jumping jacks and 50 crunches on the bathroom floor and gotten back on.  DON'T do it!  I gained .5 lbs doing it! :P  I then proceeded to cry.  SAVE YOURSELVES!!  PUT THE SCALE AWAY!!

Put the scale away.

Save yourselves the crying time.

Scales are mean and cruel.

thank you, thank you, for the chuckles and giggles.  Much needed. 

My current rant:  I am becoming to love broccoli.  And salads.  A salad with some cucumber, peppers, lots of red onions, avocado (of course), and some olive oil & vinegar topped with pepper.  Yummy.  Steamed broccoli with just a dash of salt and pepper.  Even yummier.  Um, the explosive trips to the toilet I could do without.  I had to leave work yesterday to go home and do my business.  Seriously.  Then I went back to work like nothing happened.

On the same theme, here's a little joke:
What do you call a vegetarian with diarreah?  (I can't spell, sorry, hopefully you can sound it out).  a salad shooter

Ava - try Beano, it really does help and you'll be much more comfortable.

I dislike the new scales even more than the good old Borgs...I don't actually need to know about that 3/10 of a pound added to the already high whole number. I've always been fine with the fudge-able analog readout.

They have an electronic digital scale at the gym and I've stepped off and turned it off and on again just to make absolutely sure that it wasn't accidentally giving me the weight of the last woman who used it.

JJ :-)

i now have a new reason for not mowing the lawn. it makes me fat, okay, not really, but tell me why i can spend an hour and a half doing it, burning 500+ calories and the next day i always weigh more!

Note to self: According to Abbs83, exercise causes weight gain.

Note to self: According to silvaraynebow, mowing the lawn causes weight gain.

Heh heh heh .... I have long suspected these hidden truths, and have saved myself from further weight gain by steadfastly avoiding both yard work and ab crunching. (Hmmm.... food crunching, that is definitely more my style!)

These 100-calorie packages of things are sure getting popular. Can you just imagine if the fast food restaurants came out with them? I can see it now .... a Burger King fries 100-calorie pack .... you open in up and it has 8 french fries in it !!! LOL! And the McDonald's Chicken McNugget 100-calorie pack? One McNugget. Ok, maybe a nugget and a half. And a Taco Bell 100-calorie pack? A whole lot of shredded lettuce, a few bits of tomato, and a few morsels of taco meat! Hee hee hee. I just don't think it will work, peeps! <grin>

I think one of the real problems with my current diet is that it just doesn't have a catchy name. "The Grapefruit Diet"... see? It is sort of catchy. "The South Beach Diet?" Very trendy.  The "Eat 500 fewer calories than you need and get your butt off the couch Diet" just isn't as catchy! Don't you think we need to come up with a catchy name or phrase for our own personal diets?  I sure do .... what should YOUR diet be called, peeps?

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=^..^= MOLLY (I'm on the eat-less-and-get-my-butt-off-the-couch Diet)

hah, i love it, i can imagine buying the 100 cal "snack" sized milkshake and fries - kinda like barbie doll sized food

Im on the  "Eat-lots-of water-filled-fruits-veggies-and-some-plant based-proteins-and stuff-and-oh-don't forget-to-exercise-every-day" Diet    i guess i could have tried harder to make that funnier but whatever, im craving chocolate right now and Im a little cranky

And what is with the "lite" candy bars??? OK, so a Mars Bar is mostly air, but it's still chocolate, ain't it? Ever try the "sugar free" chocolate...eeeekkkss! Warning label should read..."the use of this sugar substitue can caused bathroom emergencies!"

Naming a diet...like "Healthy Lifestyle" is too scarry, right? I think I'll call mine the "Anniversaries Diet" because my goal is to live long enough to celebrate a few with hubby-to-be (Wed date 2/2/08)

If you happen to buy the 100-calorie bags of Orville Redenbacher Light 94% fat free microwave popcorn, do NOT just stick it in your microwave and punch the "POPCORN" button ... it will be waaaaay too long your popcorn will burn and you will set the bag on fire. (It just needs 1.5 minutes, by the way.)

I'm just sayin' ....

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=^..^= MOLLY (do I smell something burning?)

I love your rants.  It made me laugh and I felt the same way.  I also found that I burned my popcorn for punching the popcorn button on the microwave.  The things we learn by trial and error, eh.  I like your new catchy name for your D word.  It is great.  I try to stay away from the D word and use the new appealing life style change but all in all its still a diet that we have to work at and find motivation in ourselves.  You are a great person for sharing these rants and just wanted to let you know I enjoyed reading them!

Silvraynbow--probably the reason you always weigh more after you mow the lawn is that you do it outside in the sun, and then you sweat, get dehydrated, and retain water afterwards.  I know (both from reading and personal experience) that hot weather causes crazy water retention.  But lawn-mowing is actually a great calorie-burner!

PS: I love this thread!  You all crack me up!

my diet is called the don't-eat-anything-that-could-eat-you diet. i recently became vegetarian. lol. this works for me. its been a plan in the making all my life, i just needed one more slaughter story to throw me over the edge and on to the fresh beautiful grass.