My mom just diagnosed with Breast Cancer, I need a little support!!
Just last week, my mom got diagnosed with breast cancer. It's tough on her, she just got her tube in for chemotherepy. she's upset that she's going to lose her hair & everything.
I'm trying to be as helpful as possible with her food choices (they're strict about some things) and I do a lot of chores for her, and since it's only me and my mom in an apartment, I get stuck doing most things.
I'm only 16, and I can't drive yet, but I wish I could do more for her. Like take her to doctor appointments, be with her for her.
Lately, I've been bingeing on a LOT of food and not caring what I eat, being that I have to deal with my mom's condition, the start of school (8 classes every 2 days), my parents getting divorced, and figuring things out. I feel so bad about everything!
When I eat, i eat till i'm stuffed (where I'm totally bloated), then feel extremely bad about it. I try so hard during the day to do good, but at home, it all crashes down and I binge. Just today, I had rice, steamed veggies, 2 BIG bowls of cereal, king sized snickers bar, Tiramisu, chocolate covered cashews, 2 eggs and a lean cuisine. (all in about 2 hours)
Am I going crazy, or something? I was doing so well before; eating portioned meals, the right choices. Now, I feel powerless. Like I can't be around food without eating bad. Someone help me? Give me some advice, or tips, something to help me get an idea how to controll my hunger in this emotional time for me?
Sorry I ranted so long. I'm really frustrated and tired of feeling bad, bloated and powerless.
First off, long distance support hug! I wish you and your mother the best as you deal with this challenge.
While my family's situation with cancer was different (my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer when all of us kids were under 10 and my father was dealing with heart problems) I certainly empathize with wanting to do more for your mom. Try to take good care of yourself, because as a mom she will worry about you. Nothing is as stressful as worrying about loved ones, as you are feeling right now.
I certainly don't think you are going crazy -- it is perfectly normal to feel the way you do. Is there someone you can talk to to help you work through your emotions? I'd also suggest finding positive outlets for your feelings.
One I'd suggest is the the 3 Day walk (Komen for the Cure) -- their site is here. You can let it out in a positive way both for yourself and to support your mother in her fight against cancer. If you're not up to a 3 day walk yet, it's one goal you can work toward doing.
I know you feel powerless, but you aren't: you are there supporting your mother at a time she needs you. That is very powerful in of itself: it's hope and love all wrapped in one.
Wishing you all my best,
J.S.
Thank you so much for replying! It means a lot to me. Thank you so much.
I'll definately do that three day walk, it sounds like SO much fun, and helpful. Thank you for telling me about it, I would've never known about it unless you told me.
Again, hehe, thanks. 
It IS tough, but I think I'll be able to get through it if I keep a clear and focused mind!
What a horrible, sucky, messed up place to be in!
Windrinre, what a wonderful answer.
When you think about it, you are powerless over many things and have no control whatsoever of the outcome. The additional stress of the situation is going to push you and push hard. The question is when and how are you going to push back. You've already decided to push back by helping in the house and being there for her. Her care is vitally important, but care of yourself is even more important. Before you can take care of anyone else you have to take care of yourself.
Ask her healthcare workers for references for you. You should be able to find others who can give you real life advice.
I know. Thank you so much for replying.
I'll make sure I get her healthcare workers' numbers so I can call when I need to. It's a great Idea.
I'm going to try and push back as hard as I can, and still take care of myself and my mom. Thank you for your advice, it's so much appreciated.
=)
wow, i'm surprised you're still functioning normally. i mean that in the best way possible! you're INCREDIBLE to still be standing! that is WAY too much to go through and far too much pressure for a 16 year old (i'm 16 too and i can't even imagine all that stress). its no wonder you feel like you've lost all control with food.
the best advice i can give is to eliminate all bad foods in your home. if you have a box of betty crocker brownies, throw it out! (or hide it or something. i hate being wasteful, so maybe throwing it out isn't the best solution, hah) just replace those foods with the healthy foods. and from what i can tell, you know what those are. just breathe and remember that you are under a tremendously greater amount of pressure than most, if not ALL, other people around you.
its gotta suck. and i want to give you a huge hug right now, because you are being so strong and so incredibly unselfish. please, remember to give yourself a little love too. sure, your mom needs you now more than ever, but don't forget the most important person: YOU.
stay strong girl! :)
*virtual hug* All I can say is good luck and don't beat yourself up about it. Try to find a pattern in your binging and put a stop to it. I know my weaknesses and I know I'm going to drop a lot of weight without trying once I move back into college, but right now I'm just exercising to compensate and hoping for the best. The same goes for you - once things go back to a state you find mostly normal, so will your eating habits. Probably. In the meantime, I find that drinking a LOT of tea helps. Whenever you feel like you might begin binging, put on a pot of water and set up a bunch of cups and take your time doing it. Chewing gum can also help.
Maybe educating yourself on breast cancer and it's treatment will help? Being overwhemled is perfectly natural (you'd be more than a little strange if you weren't), and that can mess you up. Sometimes finding out as much as possible about something scary like cancer, can make you feel like you have some control back.
From my personal experience, I just lost my grandmother and an uncle and will probably loose a close family friend shortly to various cancers, one of the best things a cancer patient can have is a positive attitude.
What I'm saying is, probably the most important thing you can do is take care of yourself, because it's going to take away one more thing your mom has to worry about.
Good luck.
Hi there,
I'm so sorry to hear about your mom!! My mom had breast cancer as well .. I was around 6 when she got it and 14 when she passed away. It must be so difficult considering it's just the two of you at home. I hope you have some relatives and family friends who can be there with her while she goes to appointments and check-ups. Please don't feel terrible, this is not your fault. I can tell you from my experience that all your mom wants for you to do is take care of yourself! And when you feel like binging, maybe try to spend some time with her instead. During other times you may want to try chewing gum, drinking tea or water, maybe just eating lower calorie options that can be consumed mindlessly (like veggies). I often used to do that and still do that due to stress .. but you've already been this strong and you must continue to be strong! *Hugs!* I really feel for you sweetie, if you ever feel the need to message, I would love to help out =) I'll pray for your momma.
Take care and God bless!
From experience I would suggest taking a few "me time" walks throughout the day.
When I was 12 dad had his 1st heart attack and at 16 he had his 1st stroke. I would make him breakfast & lunch before I left for school and dinner when I got home. I walked to and from school b/c he wasn't supposed to drive. I would clear my thoughts and relax. After dinner I would take another quick walk before getting him ready for bed and so forth. If walking isn't something you like, find another way to have "me time".
Understanding what the process of treatment is is a great help so you don't feel so confused when the condition is talked about.
You are being as helpful as you can and you should be proud of that. None of my friends understood what it was like to take care of your parent at such a young age but it makes you stronger and in the long run, you learn alot about yourself and your inner strength.
I wish you the best of luck and my prayers are with you.
First of all, I want to tell you that having breast cancer is not necessarily a death sentence. My wife was diagnosed with breast cancer 10 years ago and she is still here. Yes, it might be a little difficult for your mother seeing the hair go but it does grow back.
It is admirable that you are trying to do so much for your Mom. Your mother must have done a wonderful job of raising you for you to take on so much responsibility for her care. But there are agencies out there to help in situations like your mother's. Start out by contacting the American Cancer Society. They can direct you to other agencies who can also help.
You're understandably under a lot of stress and your overeating is a way of dealing with the stress. You are certainly not alone in trying to cope this way. Why don't you check out a low-carb diet such as Adkins? Our daughter has always been an emotional eater who could never lose weight by counting calories. But she has been following the Adkins plan for 18 months and has lost almost 80 pounds. On this plan she has been able to eat plenty of food and not feel deprived.
Also, being 16 you need to find someway of getting together with kids your age. Maybe you can find a church to go to where you can meet some friends.
God will help you through all this if you just ask for His help. You will certainly be in my prayers. God bless you!
Pastor Joe
I really want to thank Pastor Joe and everyone who has commented. I appreciate all the advice & I feel so grateful to have been able to meet so many people who care. It really means a lot to me when people reply to this thread & I can't thank you enough.
I'm definately checking into agencies to help my mom and I out, making plans with my friends, and checking into churches in my area for support.
This means so much to me.
God bless everyone, thank you SO MUCH. 
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