My mom said the oddest thing to me today.

I was with my mom today, when I noticed her looking at me. She said, 'You've lost a lot of weight' to which I replied, 'What makes you say that?' (I'm down to 218 from 232...not A LOT of weight'). She told me, 'You look really good from here to here (my head to just above my breasts) and then you get...big.'

What? She tried to back-peddle and say that she meant, my boobs are still big etc etc, but I was still a little surprised. I know she (probably) meant well, by telling me she noticed I had lost weight, but the little part at the end completely shocked me.

Just wondering if anyone else gets these two sided compliments from friends/loved ones....and if so, do you think that they just don't know how to give a compliment (i.e. your face is really thinning out, it looks good!) or are they trying to say something else?

I think your mom just worded it funny because she didn't know what to say... lets face it you're on this site because you're overweight so that's no surprise, right? Being called 'big' is never fun but I think she was TRYING to make a compliment. Its great that she can see change; congrats!

I think people (even mothers) feel awkward mentioning weight, so after saying you looked like you lost weight she probably panicked and blurted out something that she thought might make it seem more comfortable...but I don't know, that is pretty odd. It was also probably slightly off of what she meant to say because a lot of people don't know how to bring up weight loss. In cocnlusion, I think she had good intentions, it just didn't come out right.

It's great that she noticed. That's all that matters. I'd be bummed out if I got no compliments.

Yes, people say things all the time without thinking!

When I was losing weight I lost it the same way.  From the face, under the chin, down the neck.... from the feet , up the ankles, calves...  from the hands, lower arms, upper arms... then boobs, lastly stomach, thighs, and now I am working on the butt!  It just seemed to work from the outter extremeties and work it's way to the core areas.

Mums are Olympic gold medallists in the art of the accidental backhanded compliment.  After I lost weight my mum said 'You look so much better.  I didn't like it when you were hefty'.  If I'd been some delicate, sensitive creature I'd probably have blubbed on the spot at the word 'hefty'.  But I know my mum's particular line in plain speaking and decided to take it at face value instead.

Gawd bless 'em all...

A long while back I'd lost about 10 pounds (I'm 5'11", so 10lbs is not that much for me) and toned up by working out a lot. I felt great but didn't think I looked much different, having always been at a healthy weight. However, I ran into and aunt I hadn't seen in a while and she said, "oh my gawd! you've lost a TON of weight!" It made me wonder if I'd ever looked like I'd weighed a ton. A ton. Baby elephant's weigh about that. Maybe it was a compliment, but I'd rather not have anyone notice or say anything when I've lost weight. Although, I don't mind if they phrase it like, 'dang, you're looking hot". That's cool. But "you've lost a ton" just um, I don't know. A ton. hm.

heheh applause gi jane. could not say it better than her about the olympic gold medalists.

my family does say weird and sometimes very mena things about my weight for the past 30 years. too many to list here

Both of my parents loved nothing better than a **** comment about my body. In fact, one of the last things my mom said to be before she did was about my ass. I have a flat butt. Always have. I was saying something like "ugh, I have no butt" and my mom peaked around, made a face and said "well have YOU looked back there lately?" Thanks Mom! RIP!

My dad would find little was to let me know that he thought I should lose weight.  Well, finally lost weight.  Went to visit and couldn't wait for him to say how proud he was or how great I looked, etc...  I get there and he and his wife say I look terrible,anorexic.  I weighed 139 and I'm 5'6".  I also weigh more than both of her daughters... I just can't win!

I personally feel awkward mentioning something like that to people, which is absolutely terrible because a) it's great I noticed, that's a real achievement for them!! and b) it would make them feel really REALLY great if I said that.

Even knowing these two things I'd get really awkward about it.  That's real cool if you're losing the weight and still keep the chest, I know a couple people who think the hefty weight is the only thing keeping them a B size or something XD

i hate when i tell my mom that i went to the gym, THEN she will say "oh yeah, well it does look like you've lost a little weight" when in reality, i've only lost like 5 pounds and it isn't even noticeable by me, so she definitely can't tell, she just says it because i mentioned i've been working out so she HAS to say something. like, if i look skinnier, let me know, but don't just throw it out there as some sort of motivation to keep going if in actuality i haven't lost any yet. i go to the gym 6 days a week and have a great eating plan, i don't need your LIES!!!

I visited my nan she said i looked like I had gained allot of weight and could do with losing a bit yet my other grandma commented on how much I had lost within a week of each other and I see them all the time.

The truth of it was my weight was stable I hadn't lost or gained a pound for a whole 2 months. It was quite amusing really.

My mum said to me the other day that I may have lost weight but I will put it on again and I should just find a way to look good and stick with it.

Once (recently) I said to my mom about how stressed I was and how I hoped that whole cortisol/bellyfat thing wasn't going to happen to me.

She said "It's too late to worry about that!"

She's always been awful like that even though she's not super-thin. I just get mad and then complain about it to my dad. Then I feel better.

Years ago, on my 18th birthday actually, I was getting ready for my party, wearing this really great sweater dress (they were all the rage then).

My dad comes in and says "that colour looks really nice on you", then he takes another look and says " You are looking a bit thick around the middle, don't get big like your Mum, will you?" WTF!!?? Oh, btw I was 5 months pregnant!

Still bothers me to this day...

It is kind of funny, but I think our faces do tend to loose weight first.  I think she is noticing a change.  Congratulations on loosing weight. 

WOOT!! WOOT!!  On the weight loss.  And mom was trying. So maybe give her a little break!!

T.T At least your mom compliments you.  Mine just tells me that "that's going STRAIGHT to your thighs!!"

It's just as difficult to give compliments as it is to receive them. I think you should work on seeing the good in compliments, even if they feel ' two sided.'  Sometimes we honestly mean well but it just comes off differently than it sounded ... in our heads. Lol

It took me a long time to realize that I should just say " thank you " in response to compliments.  I always feel compelled to say something back. >_<  Or explain myself. I actually had someone tell me " You are a gracious giver, but horrible receiver of compliments." Annnnd now... I just say " Thank you! so much... " and smile.

She's your mom though so give her the benefit of a doubt that she meant the best and you saw the worst in it. We're our own worst critics. But, it doesn't only end there... we critique everything everyone says about us or to us about ourselves.... To the point we can make ourselves miserable.

My neighbour said to me

"omg you've lost some of your back fat!!"'

I didnt know how quite to take it, granted Ive known her since i was  about 5 years old .. so atleast 20 years ... but still .. it was odd, Ive only lost about 20lbs .. but apparently .. ive lost it all off my back ... LOL

K

Got to love moms! Girlfriends are the same way though..

The last time I tried really hard and lost a bunch of weight a good friend of mine said to me one day, "So are you still trying to do the whole diet thing, have you lost any weight?" This was AFTER going from about 200 lbs to 150.. a pretty noticeable difference, or so I thought!  Talk about wind out of your sails...  I did, however, feel better when her husband jumped in and said, "Geeze Jess, that has to be the ruddest thing I've ever heard  you say- Look at her!" :)