my mom just watched me binge :*(

this past week (8 days) i've went on vacation..... that means, i went out for EVERY single one of my meals at restaurantes....... two of them were buffets.. even cheesecake factory!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!(though that was the night before the trip)!!!

i have no idea how much calories i've eaten..... i THOUGHT it ws MUCH more than whati needed.....

i came back home, and saw that i actually lost soo much.... i'm EMBARRASSED to tell you guys after all i've said about "i will be healthy from now on" and junk.

i'm a total failure :*(. and i MUST have eaten too little calories b/c i binged....... (i now know its natural to binge when you restrict)..... but its not like i was even trying :*(... my meals were SOOO spaced out between tour rides and such and etc...

MY MOM JUST STOOD THERE WATCHING ME IN DISGRACE. i even TOLD her to help me stop eating any way *(punish me, take food away, etc.).... but she just watched me and told me to shut up :*(. i tell her that i cant control myself eating what i dont want to eat, but she thinks i'm LYING...... shes just like, " oh you eat it b/c you want to " and stuff like that.

i dont know how much i weigh though honestly..... i used 3 scales and now they range from x-98........
NOWW my toung is literally bleeding from all that salty snack i've eaten (i've binged on airplane crackers + junk) and i feel awful.. just AWFUL.

my matabolisms probably dead now......

atleast the rest of the trip was real nice.

what i ask for: should i just keep eating uncontrollably (+without counting cals)?.... i weigh so little now that i feel i can go on eating 6000 calories per day until i get to the weight i want... and maybe along the way, i can naturally eat the amount (cal) i'm supposed to eat........... or would i lose control? and get a bad eating habbit?

i'm scared :*( i've eating 1200 calories from the binge and its only 11:30......  i woke up at 9:45..... should i "save" all my calories until dinner?...... b/c my dad forces me to eat lik 700 cal dinner anyways... but dinners like aroun 8-9pm

It may be that your metabolism has sped up to a point that you will need a lot of calories to gain, particularly if you have been eating a lot and then found you're losing weight. HOWEVER. This does not justify unhealthy binges. Yes, you'll need a lot of calories to gain, but that shouldn't just be on things like cake, salty snacks and so on... particularly if they make your tongue bleed. Ouch.

Portioning food may help you - putting things like popcorn and such into baggies, buying snack-packs if you must... in that way, you won't have a whole box to easily dive into for more. Aim not to eat in the kitchen where it's easier for you to get up and have more than you need. The walk between kitchen and living room can make all the difference, because it's time to think: "Am I really hungry?"

Do you eat breakfast? And I'm not talking a few pieces of fruit - something like oatmeal, or substantial enough to start your day. Eating a filling breakfast not only starts your metabolism off for the day but it also helps to stave off binge-hunger later on.

I'm sorry your mum wasn't supportive to you. ]: That's rough to hear, but you've said you enjoyed the rest of your holiday and that's good. :] I'm sorry I can't give much more advice.

OH YEAHHH

and what should i do with all this salt in me?...... i've eatgen SO MUCH saltiness for the past 1-2 weks, my toung tingles and i think it bled a coulpe times..... should i just add water to me?

ah, hey lala :) thans for the reply

hm... i dont think my metabolism really sped up though. i may have eaten at restaurants over break, but i think i've still ate too little b/c i would get "hunger feelings"....... maybe its b/c the meals were spaced out MUCH too much (sometimes even 6+ hours) and when i really did start eating, i ended up not having enough time to eat it all.... but mayvbe i did.. who knows.

****sorry, i didnt understand the other half of your 1st paragraph****

that "eat out of kidtchen" advice ROCKS.... your right! I DO binge when i eat in the kitchen... but its so hard to get out... harder not to go back in XD.  thanks for helping me realize!!!! (snack packs dont work :P haha sory)


breakfast is a MUST for me- although i'm VERY limited to the driest foods. i cant have anything cold or new, etc....
my "filling breakfast" of toast and eggs, waffles stretched out to those other snacks and turned into a binge....

a suggestion to help with your tongue-

when ive had too many salty things i switch to blander things or creamier foods. like maybe have mashed potatos with dinner. make yourself a nice smoothie or milk shake and have ice cream/frozen yogurt. protein shakes can be so yummy and filling (choc or vanilla prot powder, banana, milk or soy milk and peanut butter for instance) theyll give you the protein boost and things you need plus give your poor tongue a break!

id suggest staying away from things like chips and crackers till it gets better. that feeling is terrible, hope it gets better!

sorry about the binging but i also think your metab might have sped up quite a bit. many people in recovery need high amounts of calories. just try and aim, as much as possible, for healthier calories. and you know what? when your body realizes you wont starve it anymore it will naturally regulate your eating. eat when your hungry also-take snacks on the road with you to help waiting long amounts in between meal

yeah I am fully recovered from anorexia :) yay! lol but unfortunately I did what youre scared to do. I switched one ED for another and now binge all the time. I can't go like 2 days with out binging. I'm at a healthy weight and I binge of low cal food so I'm not gaining a ton of weight from it but I look almost pregnant all the time after I binge so I hate it! I have a great body when I don't binge, and sometimes when I do I avoid hanging out with friends because I dont want them to see my stomach. It sucks. SO my advice for you is to do eat peanut butter with every meal so you get enough cals, but dont feel like youre eating a ton, or buy a weight gaining shake from GNC like i did. It's 2200 cals per serving, and works great.

Good Luck!