Mom's freaking out! Help!

Two months ago I weighed about 53 kilos, I had gained a lot since summer and almost no pants or jeans fitted anymore,...so I started eating healthier,..I used to be an emotional overeater.
So after many weeks I reached my goal weight, and my skinny jeans; size 6, fit me,. so I started to try and maintain,...but in trying to find my ideal maintaining weight, I lost a few more kilos and now my skinny jeans fit losely, and my mom's totally lost it. She thinks I'm anorexic and she makes me eat lots and lots of food, and that only makes it harder for me. I freak out and even though I know I HAVE to eat more than 1200 cals, I don't want to,...I was doing it just fine before she freaked out....Now she's always mad at me and,,....I really REALLY need advice.

You weighed 53 kg and lost weight? Why?

No wonder your mom is freaking out. 

Believe it or not I was overweight, not by much, but enough for even my mom to notice. Not to mention I was had a very severe case of emotional overeating.

How tall are you?

When I lost weight, I found that my family got mad at me too.  They were frustrated with me for running daily.  As long as you're being healthy, don't listen to it.  Some people get jealous of other people who can lose weight when they can't.  Is your mom overweight?

Also, if you want to maintain you need to eat more than 1200 a day.  If you "don't want to" you're on a slippery slope to an anorexic mind set.  There's more to life than worrying about losing weight when you're already at a healthy one.  1200 calories is the baseline.  Use the tools on this site to calculate your allowance and expenditure.

I'm not very tall,..around 5'1 inches?..um 156 cm.
My moms not overweight,..I really don't think she's jealous, just worried,..she's a good mother, but sometimes she goes overboard you know?

Hi,

I think your mom and you need to talk. No matter what your weight or height is, if your changing something in you or around you that makes her react this way, and makes you also react to her reactions, it could be serious and perfectly motivated concern on her part for you and you might not be seeing it or, it might be over reacting on her part and she might not be the one seeing it.

None the less, you both really need to communicate these feelings to each other so both of you can feel comfortable in any changes you are living be it food, job, life decisions or other subjects. If you say you were an emotional eater, then don't let this situation in your life become a reason for concern to the point where it would make you either start binge eating again or under eating to regain a sense of control over your emotions weather they are emotions originating from inside you or brought on from outside sources.

I'm sure you mom means as much to you as you do to her so if you are unable to talk face to face without it becoming an emotional issue, then perhaps writing down on paper your thoughts or getting someone to sit as an intermediate between both of you would help.

If your mom really has no reason for concern, then take it as a big dose of love and try to be compassionate enough to know that that is why she is over reacting and help her through this change in both your lives.

Although it can be a hurdle to get through mom and children issues tell yourself that at least she is not ignoring you to the point where she just doesn't care if you are skinny or fat, there or not.

God bless you and take care. 

You should add some more calories, so that you gain enough to have your skinny jeans fit again :) That should make you and your mum happy. If you don't feel like eating, try to have some stuff like almonds, peanut butter, etc that will help add calories easily.

"  I freak out and even though I know I HAVE to eat more than 1200 cals, I don't want to,...I was doing it just fine before she freaked out...."

This is you needing help and advice. You're on the edge of giving yourself a serious issue. You'd still lose weight at 1200 calories a day, just at a slower rate. You're talking like someone that has a bad relationship with food. I think any bad relationship with good is an disorder. Regardless if you're underweight, overweight, or within a healthy range for your height/structure. I think your mother is doing her job, and reacting correctly. Reacting in a way to help you through this change in your life. Why? Because she's your mother and she cares.  You realize you should be eating more. Up your calories. Because it's obvious that you aren't eating enough. Plain and simple. Your mother has every reason to be concerned. You're the one overreacting to her help. She took note of the start of a problem that could get much bigger. You should be thanking your mother for caring about you that much. Be accountable. Yes, you have an issue. Or you wouldn't know that you should be eating more... but not want to.... Seriously, this should be an eye opener to you. Not swept under the rug as your mothers problem. It's your problem. She's just took note of it and started doing her best to help you with it. If you start accepting the fact you haven't been eating enough. Period. Make yourself accountable for the fact.  You need to decide that it's time to change that. From this day forward up your calories. You probably shouldn't even be counting. The reason for which being that for some it turns into a complusion. It becomes all they think about until they end up eating too little all the time. Starving themselves. You're already showing signs of that mindset. Which is why you shouldn't be counting calories. You should stop counting and start making healthy choices. Save your mother the wedge between you.

By the way, as for your mother going overboard. Isn't that the pot calling the kettle black. If you don't mind me saying so. Don't you think you're going a bit overboard yourself? It's not really a question it's a matter of fact. You're at a stage of maintaining yet you don't even want to eat 1200 calories a day. Which is the baseline. It's the amount you have to eat a day, for your body to be able to function correctly. It's a no less than mark. It leads people to the assumtion that you actually lost weight in a very unhealthy manner. Because if you don't want to eat 1200 calories now. The baseline. It's apparent that you weren't during your weight lose period. Open your eyes and ask yourself " Do I have a disorder " It's a very serious question, but there's no shame in admitting you need help.

sofarrider I found your words really smart and enlightening.
I wish I could be more like you

I know EXACTLY what you're going through. I was always skinny, but had a lifestyle change and gained about 10 lbs in a few months. I was extremely unhappy about this and decided to loose it to get back to my normal perfectly healthy skinny self. Well I lost the ten pounds in no time...plus 15 more. I was just to used to diet mode that I couldn't get out of it and still cant. I can't begin to imagine eating like a "normal" person. I now have a BMI of about 16.5 and my mom has been NON STOP killing me over the weight loss. She said I was perfect before and now I look like a deathly walking skeleton. She's always on my ass about what I eat and when she doesn't like what she hears or sees she freaks out and yells at me and gives me the silent treatment. It used to be "you can't do ________ untill you finish your essay" but now it's "you can't do ________ untill you gain some weight." It's terrible and she's always mad at me and I hate it, but I can't just GAIN WEIGHT it's not that easy.... oh dear.

Thanks so much for your help guys,.. talked with my mom, I decided to stop coming here for some time and I stopped counting calories.
I'm now at a healthy weight, I don't look like a living stick and I actually enjoy food,-without overeating like I used to =D.
I have an anxiety disorder, so the same compulsive-obsessive thinkin that made me overeat and gain so much weight made me start starving myself, but thanks to my mom and all of you I'm better now^^

Kaufmal, you should really talk with your mom instead of fighting with her, she's just trying to help =D

Arymiis, dont know if youll see this but its great that you and your mom were able to come together on this.  You sound like you are in such a better place mentally.  Im glad you came back to update on this. 

 That's fantastic, Arymiis

I'm glad you came to a constructive decision, and talk with your mom. Now go enjoy food and life!

You may want to listen to your mother actually. My mother did the same thing. She's ALWAYS telling me to eat more and saying I'm way too skinny. I never thought it was a problem before. But I recently discovered I have an eating disorder. So be careful.

       &nb sp; I just wish my mom had worrie about me when I was eating 600 cals a day for three months and running at least 3 miles a day. I didnt know any better. and I was overweight and really really wanted to get into the military. Now that I know better I eat healthier actually  have over ate the last couple weeks around 2500 cals a day with minimum exercise and I should be eating like 1300-1500. feel happy your mom knows enough to be worried