to motivate: list why you want to lose weight, what are the advantages

GROUP CHALLENGE!!!

 I think reminding yourself everyday why we want this change in our lives is a big motivator (its part of the beck program for changing your thinking)

I keep a deck of index cards with all the reasons I want to lose weight and I read them twice a day, more if i find myself wanting to compromise my food plan.  It really helps.  I read them and I think do you want this advantage or do you want the food.  Can't have both.  Here's part of my list.  Love to hear some of your reasons.  (I also keep response cards, I'll share them at another time)

The Avantages of Losing Weight

-i won't have to ask for the seatbelt extender on the airplane

-i won't scan the room to see if i am the biggest person there

-i will, for the first time in my adult life, be able to cross my legs!

-i will enter an elevator and not wonder if they are thinking "have we hit our overload limit"

-i will be able to think of something other than this food obsession.  i will have more space in my head to dream big dreams

-i will find a life not limited by the restraints that being overweight has put on me

-my blood pressure will improve

-my diabetes will become manageble and i will avoid the horrid complications of this disease

-my children will be proud of me and they will know they have a mom who never gave up

-i will ride a bike...wow

-i will swim and swim

-i will turn over in bed with ease

-maybe my thighs won't run together!

-i will have more energy

-i will ride a scooter on vacation

-i will ride in a convertible and feel the wind in my hair and not be worried people are starring at me.   i will ride in a little car and feel ok

-i will go to the water park with my family-

i will go shopping with another female, wow that would be a first.  I never allowed myself this because of being so embarrassed of my size

-i might get a pedicure or a manicure

-maybe i could have the courage to get a massage

-intimacy with my husband would be easier 

-i will leave the granny panties in the store

   This are just a few of my hopes and dreams.  As you can see I have denied myself alot of joy in life because of this weight. You could argue that some of them i could already do, but the thing about being so big all your life is that you come to believe either you can't do things, or more often than not,,,,,you do not allow yourself to do things because you feel such shame.  I want to break away from all the shame and really truly be free.  Today, this minute that is what is most important to me.  It is more important that any treat I could eat.  Reminding myself daily really keeps the prize front and center.  For me, weight loss will truly be a dream come true.  I do not want to leave this world without realizing this dream.  Won't you join me and list your reasons.  I'm sure we share so many in common and I may find some of your reasons to add to my list.

My Motivation:

To be able to play with my son for an hour straight and not need a break.

To be able to fly without feeling like a stuffed sausage and having bruises on my hips.

To go to a family reunion and not look like everyone else.

To drive my own car (Toyota Corolla) without people looking and laughing at the tiny car/huge driver paradox.

To be able to shop at any store I want to.

* I want to remain healthy (I am almost 40 and up to this point am on no medication but have known it was coming if I didn't change.)

* I want to be able to fly to Europe and not worry about fitting into the plane bathrooms.

* I want to walk into any store and know that I will be able to find something in my size.

* I want to walk into an ice cream parlor and NOT have people look at me like "do you really think you need that?" (Even though I have ordered the fat free/sugar free option.)

* I want to be able to ride a bike again.

* I don't want to fear going to the doctor because they will make me get on a scale.

* I don't want to climb stairs and feel like my heart is beating out of my chest.

* I want to be able to do push-ups, real honest to goodness push-ups.

* I want to feel strong and able to protect and defend myself.  No longer feeling vulnerable without my "fatted security".

* I want to run the 5k Breast Cancer run in my community in September of 2010.

* I want to be around to see my nieces and nephews get married.  And be around to see my great niece and great nephew graduate & get married.

* I want to run, play and enjoy my life!

* I want to have muscle definition.

This is a wonderful thread, I love the motivation I gain from all of your sharing.  I began this journey in January of 2008 and have lost 69.4 pounds thus far.  Many of the things on my list, I have achieved but it never hurts to remember why I started this journey. Note: I can now do 5 push-ups in a row & have an application on my phone called Couch to 5k that I'm doing so that I will be able to run in that race next year.

hey...i screwed up the pompom thing

it is suppoesed to be

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Oh, of course you want to look pretty for that. 

Cody,

That is so great to hear.  You've met some of your goals and made others you might never have dreams of meeting.

Congrats, my friend.

Flirtin Mom,

That looks more like it.  Let me try:  Pep squad!

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wow..I was away for a 3day weekend and came back to find this post so full!......you guys are terrific!    I was so hoping that everyone would jump in there and share "why they want to lose the weight".  The list is so good.  I printed it off and posted it on my frig! 

 I hope you keep your list with you everyday, I do.  It is easy to forget why we are making all this effort when we are tired or bored or craving or feeling sorry for ourselves or angry (big trigger for me) or scared (equally big trigger) or even happy and celebrating!  

 Food has been there to stuff all the feelings I didn't know how to deal with....  and yes, sometimes its just loving the taste of the food or wanting so badly to be normal and just be like everyone else.  You guys added alot of things I that I didn't have.  Here's a few more of mine:

- a normal life jacket will fit me and I won't feel like the "michelin man" while wearing it

-when my mother passed away 2 years ago I promised her I would not give up trying to take care of myself.  I will keep that promise.  I love and miss you mom.

-I will feel in control, I will be the boss of me!

-I will feel younger

-I will ride in a hot air balloon and parasail!

-I will prioritize my life , simplify, do what is important and spend the last part of my life making up for my mistakes I made while self absorbed in this obession.  For me this journey has been one of being preoccupied with self.  I want more.  I want to be free to give and serve

-I will go to the theatre or a movie and not have to worry that I will have an aisle seat.  I will not have to worry I am spilling over into someone else's space.

-My breathing will be easier

-Could I possibly wear a smaller bracelet, ring or even a hat?Smaller shoes?

-Maybe I could make friends easier.  Maybe people would not look past me like I am invisible ...or gross. 

-Maybe I could host a party or travel more

-Maybe I will join a yoga class!

-When I go to the pumpkin patch I won't have to fear I will won't be able to get off and on the hay wagon

-I will be able to get through a game of putt putt without the need to sit down because my back hurts so much

Ii will feel more feminine.  I will move with more grace and greater ease.

-I won't fear the dreaded turnstile (did I spell that right,don't know)

-I won't be afraid to meet  people, to have them see me for the first time

-I won't feel the need to avert attention away from me with self-deprecating humor

-I might stop swearing so much

-I know I will be a happier and more positive person.  I am already feeling more hopeful

-I will enjoy self-discipline and enjoy the rewards of making committments to do things.. and have the courage,strength, and perserverance to follow through.  Because of all  the skills I am committing to  each day I am able to make changes in my personal life.  I will feel successful!

-I will learn to live in the moment,  taking each day at a time...and I will thank my Creator for each new day.  I will live with gratitude.

-I will enjoy the simple pleasures in life and realize that," all I have is all I need".

I am sure it is so obvious by now,   that I have denied myself alot of living because of this weight.  I live with regrets, because even though I am feeling good for taking care of me now, my children are both grown and they grew up with my food addiction.  I don't mean to say they have food issues...but they grew up with mine.  They had the fat mom.  I loved them dearly and would walk hot coals for them, but not go to the local pool with them .  I thank God that my husband has been such a good dad.  He stepped in sooooo many times when I just couldn't get outside myself to do things.  Yes, we went to amusement parks and waterparks, he rode the rides with them....I was the person who held everyone's purse.

  I remember picking my son up from first grade early in the year,  and he was so mad.  A kid in his class called his mother a "a big fat dumbo Mom"...like the elephant", he said.   He said he didn't like him cause he was mean.  I wish more than you know if I could just go back and spare him that pain.  That is only one time.....I am sure that as they grew up there were many many comments made about their mother, but they were very protective of me.  But it wasn't there job to protect me.....it was my job to protect them.

   I realize that I must let go of the past to move on and heal the future.  I guess I revisited that story because it is just another example of the high price we pay for all this excess weight, but it also points out there is a price our families are paying.  Back then I felt the guilt, but I buried it with food.  If you still have the time to lose your weight while your kids are little, I urge you to not give up.  My kids are two young accomplished young adults who will swear to me that they weren't hurt by my weight.  And even if they really feel that way....well I just can't help but imagine how much more fun we all would have had if mom was healthy and happy. 

 Thanks for listening.  I am grateful for this kind place to come and vent.  I like it that we have a place too,  for people who need to drop 100 or more pounds.  I think I feel more understood here than I would with someone who has only struggled with an annoying 10-15 pounds.  Thanks again.  You people are wonderful.

Ibeck,

Kids are cruel no matter what, sometimes.  If you weren't fat at the time, an evil child would have said you were sleeping around or stupid or some other thing to hurt your child.

Your children mean it when they say your weight didn't hurt them.  I asked my son one time to be honest with me about it.  He said, "Mom, the other kids would have killed to have parents like mine.  You and Dad stayed together and loved each other and loved us and took good care of us.  You taught us the right way to be and how love others.  I am proud to have you for my Mother and always have been."

textmom,

 thanks for the "Hug" post....i think your kids and mine have read the same script, haha.  I am sure, like you , I love my kids to the moon, and the past is what it is....

Having said that, I know too that I am still not fat alone. It is a "family affair" in that it is a concern for those who love me.  I believe if I did lose this weight and improve my health it would greatly ease the worrisome burden it creates for my kids.  My health and my weight are still the "elephant' in the room.  They don't confront me about it, well except for my son.  Since he went away to college , he has said that he wants me to take better care of myself.  I could see it was hard for him to even say that much.  I do want to put these food issues to rest, don't want to leave this world not having conquered this "demon".  And I would really like to leave this world with both legs still attached.  I am well aware of what diabetes can do to the body and the  soul before it kills you...not a nice way to go.  

Ibeck,

That's one reason why I'm here.  My family loves me and wants me to live a long healthy life.  They would worry less.  Hubby wants me to lose too.  So we are all in it together. 

I am having a "blue" Sunday and wanting to just stuff all these yucky feelings down with food.  So I went to the computer and thought I would browse this website for answers.  I read a few posts and then added a few posts and then remembered this post. I re-read it all and was brought to tears.

  I am sure we are all such good people here, and it is such a shame that we hold ourselves back from life because of our size.  I know I have missed out on so much and denied myself so much, and for what?  Alot of it simply comes from shame.  Worrying what others may say or think about me.  And really in the end, what did it matter what they thought?  What really matters is how I feel about me.  Most of my life I have loathed myself, I have been full of self hate.  I think I have punished myself with food.  What else but insanity would compel me to treat myself this way?  I would certainly not deny someone I love a full life.

  I am so sick and tired of watching my life pass me by, but old habits are so hard to break....  hard, but not impossible.  When I have tough days like today, I need to tell myself to hang in there .  I have to expect and prepare for days like today.  Almost like having a "sick day".  I need an arsenal of support to get me through.  This website is part of that arsenal.  I come here and look and eventually I will find someone who overcame a day like today, I do what they did,  or I get inspired by them, and then as if as miracle happens, the urge to stuff and binge subsides, and I can go on with my day. 

 We really have to come to a point where we put ourselves first, because this change isn't going to happen any other way.  Everyday has to be a "be kind to me day".  When I am discouraged or angry with myself, I just have to make a life choice that I will not use food to get me over the bumps.  I have to learn to respond to emotions in healthier ways.  Eating will only make a blue day blue-er and a bad day worse.  I have to believe I am worth it.  Thanks for allowing me to vent. 

I completely understand what you just said..I was so down in the dumps a couple of days ago...I just did what you did..I came here to this site..I get such encouragment from everyone here..That's what it took, visiting with all of you who understand what we are all going through...My family is wonderful, but they don't understand what a battle this weight loss is..I really feel like I am fighting for my life..And I probably am..My youngest daughter's doctor asked me, 10 years ago if I knew how selfish I was..She asked me if I saw many really old people walking around that weighed as much as me..I told her no, probably not and she said that was because people who weighed as much as me didn't live very long and I should not do that to my daughter..Pretty harsh words I thought at the time..And it took me 10 years to get to the point where I felt I would die if I didn't do something immediately..So here I am - traveling this journey with you guys.

We all have different stories about how we got to this point..But, the bottom line is "food" and how we use it or have misused it..I know it was my crutch for  way too long.

And with all of you guys help, I am going to get better...We have our work cut out for us - Holiday's are just around the corner !

These are really touching and empowering...thank you for posting this.

Some of my reasons to loose weight are:

- I want to feel healthy and not like a walking timebomb.

- I want to buy clothes that fit and compliment me.

- I want to dress up for my hubby!

- I want to DANCE and look ok doing it!

- I want to do more girly things with my daughter, shopping, nails etc.

wow,53 posts!

  Yesterday I was feeling so down, but I knew where to come to gain strength and I was not disappointed.  This post has grown so much and I am so inspired to read what my "brothers and sisters" in this battle have written.

  This last post from "cocoflanel" added that she wanted to dress up for her hubby.  I found that to be so sweet.  I have been married to the same generous husband for 31 years and when I think of all we have been through together, well I just think he is a saint.  My size has been up and down, and I have never had one day without some type of "food obsession talk", yet he continues to encourage, listen,  and support me the best he can.

  I have to ask myself sometimes, "how much fun am I to live with?".  Quite honestly some days not much fun at all.  Our families live this journey with us, yet they can't save us and they can't take responsibility for our success or failure.  If we are blessed they love us and stand by us.  And even after 31 years, I too,  have to add to my list, "I want to dress up for my husband!".

   I deserve to be the best me, and he deserves the best me too.  Thanks for sharing everyone, please keep it going.

Hey texmom - did your enter key get stuck?

Ibeck and cocoflanel - Dressing up for your husband is a very sweet thought!

A couple more reasons to lose weight:

I will not cause a water dam in the bathtub. I will be able to stand up when all the water is drained and not have more come whooshing down the tub.

I will have a little black dress that will knock someones socks off not scare them off.

Sunni

Sunnim,

    OMG , the times I have had to literally get out the mop afterabath because of the tsunami I triggered.  You made me laugh out loud for sure! I don't think I have ever correctly estimated the amount of water my body will displace once I plop it down in the water.  And how about moving around...disaster.   well I won't go there, haha

  And I want that little balck dress too........enough said

Thanks for your post, you "lightened" my day

Ibeck - I solved the problem of causing a mess in the bathroom, by getting in before the water stops running so that I don't cause it to go up over the edge getting in but that brings me to one more reason to lose weight:

There will be more than a cup of water (an exaggeration, but I think you get the picture) in the bottom of the tub after I stand up and am not displacing it anymore.

Sunni