to motivate: list why you want to lose weight, what are the advantages

GROUP CHALLENGE!!!

 I think reminding yourself everyday why we want this change in our lives is a big motivator (its part of the beck program for changing your thinking)

I keep a deck of index cards with all the reasons I want to lose weight and I read them twice a day, more if i find myself wanting to compromise my food plan.  It really helps.  I read them and I think do you want this advantage or do you want the food.  Can't have both.  Here's part of my list.  Love to hear some of your reasons.  (I also keep response cards, I'll share them at another time)

The Avantages of Losing Weight

-i won't have to ask for the seatbelt extender on the airplane

-i won't scan the room to see if i am the biggest person there

-i will, for the first time in my adult life, be able to cross my legs!

-i will enter an elevator and not wonder if they are thinking "have we hit our overload limit"

-i will be able to think of something other than this food obsession.  i will have more space in my head to dream big dreams

-i will find a life not limited by the restraints that being overweight has put on me

-my blood pressure will improve

-my diabetes will become manageble and i will avoid the horrid complications of this disease

-my children will be proud of me and they will know they have a mom who never gave up

-i will ride a bike...wow

-i will swim and swim

-i will turn over in bed with ease

-maybe my thighs won't run together!

-i will have more energy

-i will ride a scooter on vacation

-i will ride in a convertible and feel the wind in my hair and not be worried people are starring at me.   i will ride in a little car and feel ok

-i will go to the water park with my family-

i will go shopping with another female, wow that would be a first.  I never allowed myself this because of being so embarrassed of my size

-i might get a pedicure or a manicure

-maybe i could have the courage to get a massage

-intimacy with my husband would be easier 

-i will leave the granny panties in the store

   This are just a few of my hopes and dreams.  As you can see I have denied myself alot of joy in life because of this weight. You could argue that some of them i could already do, but the thing about being so big all your life is that you come to believe either you can't do things, or more often than not,,,,,you do not allow yourself to do things because you feel such shame.  I want to break away from all the shame and really truly be free.  Today, this minute that is what is most important to me.  It is more important that any treat I could eat.  Reminding myself daily really keeps the prize front and center.  For me, weight loss will truly be a dream come true.  I do not want to leave this world without realizing this dream.  Won't you join me and list your reasons.  I'm sure we share so many in common and I may find some of your reasons to add to my list.

sunnim,

You make me laugh, how would we cope through this struggle without our sense of humor?!

  I have tried getting into the tub first, but I am such a "wimper"  cause it is sooooo cold that way.  Tub baths have become something I pretty much have denied myself ,or at least cut way back on , these past few years, partly because of the water thing, but also because it has gotten harder and harder to even get myself out of dang tub. I just don't want to have to call the fire department to get me out of my tub.  What a thought!  So you reminded me of another thing to add to my list because I miss a nice warm bath soo much.

" I will be able to take a bath again, not worrying if I will flood the bathroom OR be able to get out of the tub once I get in!"

Thanks Sunnim!

Just thought of more advantages to losing weight.

I will be able to have a flower garden or a veggie garden and take care of it myself.  Right now my weight, my back and the heat don't allow me to do the weeding needed.

When the other girls talk fashion and the stores they shop I will have something to say.  Right now there is no conversation about the new plus stores out there.

I will be able to wear a belt.  I don't think I have ever in my whole life bought myself a belt.  I have had some come with an outfit but they went unused because they only disappeared under my fat tummy.

Beck, the fashion and belt things are / were huge for me! I want to let people know where I bought things without it being kind of embarrassing, and to talk about and actually shop at the new stores! And I got a belt once all my pants started to fall off; believe me, I never had had that problem before, plus belts used to just make my fat rolls look worse. I bought a size 14-16 belt and one of my very happiest moments was when I was able to buckle it at my hips as well as at my waist. Now I wear it pretty much all the time because none of my pants fit quite right anymore. I'm trying to avoid buying any new ones until I get down to 14 (16-18 now). 

Now this is a rant & might not actually belong in the motivations thread - but it is on point with the last couple of posts.

Even when I reach my goal weight I will most likely still be wearing a size 16 shirt (maybe a 14 in anything that doesn't have tailored looking lines or buttons) because my shoulders and ribcage are really that big without the excess fat. What makes this a rant is that I will have done all this work and still have to pay the extra for "plus" size clothes (in many stores) even though I would be at a healthy weight for me. I still won't be able to wear horizontal stripes or larger prints, etc. without looking like the broad side of the barn.

Now, I will most likely make it into a size 12 skirt/pant size. My hips just aren't as big as my shoulders. 

I guess it's a good thing that are sooooo many other reasons to lose weight than get out of the plus department.

Sunni 

Sunnim, is there a female in your female that is not overweight you can compare size with? You never know how you will end up looking at a healthy weight. I base my idea off my sister. I also have a small frame, and I'm short.

Even if what you think might happen does - you can still buy ALL THAT at any store like Target or Walmart, because they do carry those sizes... sometimes you can find 18 here, but, 16 is usually about it. You will be able to say, "look at this cute shirt I grabbed at the store today, in my size, and I didn't even try it on first!"

I used to be the little/cute girl, and then I just became the smart/nice girl. I wouldn't mind being the attractive one again.

I wouldn't mind my kid's friends laughing because their mom can out run them all.

I would like to be able to participate in some sports game at a big company type picnic - and be somewhat useful.

I want to look proportionate and not have a size 5 foot and a size 18 ass - and my feet arent getting any bigger.

I want to take a self picture with the camera angle where I am looking DOWN at it! :)

I still want to jump and scoot my butt back on the counter - despite I probably would scold my kids for sitting on the counter, just to be able to it is good!

I want to do pull ups again, and all splits, and walk on my hands! I did gymnastics for years and was amazing. Flips and such, i don't much care to do anymore ever :)

I want to say, "these stupid sweat pants - I can't tighten the elastic drawstring waist anymore!"

Kdh - I actually hit my ideal weight when I was 20 (my junior year in college) and never wore anything less than a size 14 shirt and clothes is sized differently now than it was then. What was a 12-14 then is now a 14-16. That and my dad's sister is a couple of inches taller than me, but her and I are built much the same otherwise(I definitely took after daddy's side of the family) has NEVER fit in anything less than a size 14 even when she was a few pounds underweight after a really long bout with illness. I know that Wal-mart and Target sell that size, its just that you often pay that extra $2 for it being a plus size at a 16. It's annoying!

Sunnim,

I thought I just hit enter once.  I am used to it double posting, but that was a quad post.

Good entry with the nice warm bath.  For one, I don't want to have problems getting out of the tub (bad knees) but mostly I don't want to spend all that time.  I like to shower and get out.

Reading this was a great way to start off my morning! Very motivating and funny!

Another thing to add to my list:

- I'm going to buy a bathing suit! I have not had one since I was 19. I live in FL & at 271 lbs...I still go swimming whenever I want to... in my 2 piece....Yes in my 2 piece, a T-Shirt and Shorts! I want a REAL bathing suit!

Oooooohhhhh a bath...a lovely hot relaxing bath, one with bubbles and a lovely glass of wine. Oh My that sounds delicious especially when you dont have to think about how much water you put in and it hitting the floor.

Thank you for adding something new to my list!! I am most certainly looking forward to that one especially on a day like to today!

Part of the decision to lose all this extra weight was wrapped up in the realization that I spend a whole lot of energy taking care of other people and very little if any taking care of me. I NEVER took the time to read a book, work on a puzzle, or take a bath. I am doing all of them now - I read in the bathtub!

I am looking forward to the day that the water doesn't whoosh - but I am working hard on the weight loss thing and have decided that baths are my reward. It also serves a couple of other purposes as well - time for myself & if I don't take food with me - something to do with my time in the later evenings so I don't eat out of boredom. Win/Win/Win!!!!

I also use bubbles in the tub - they are scented and it is all sooooooo relaxing!

Sunni

I want to lose this weight for one simple reason....I want to live.  I have recently been diagnosed with a heart arythmia and high blood pressure and I know that I am a heart attack or stroke waiting to happen.

I want to be able to hike with my fiance and dog without stopping every hundred feet to catch my breath. 

I want to be able to ride the rollercoasters.

I want to be able to sit at any booth in the restaurant, not just the handicapped ones because they have more room

I want to have the energy to shop, to enjoy the park, and walk up my driveway.

I want to be able to look in the mirror and like what I see.

I want to ease the pain in my knees and hips so that I can spend time exploring the world with the man that I love.

I want to live...

Thanks for this post.  I have spent a fair amount of time over the last 4 - 6 weeks thinking about my personal weight loss journey and then from being on this site the last 12 months about a number of us on this journey.

I have concluded a few things that i want to post and see if it makes sense to others.

First - each of us needs to do this alone, but alot of us are on this journey, so we are not alone.

Second - If it were easy, none of us would be here.

Third - It will take longer for us to complete this journey than we want it to take.  In fact, to be "successful", we need to do this for the rest of our lives.

Four - With the hard work now behind me, staying at my goal weight requires the same level of attention and dedication it took me to get here.

Five - we need to celebrate our successes!

Hope this helps others on their journey.

Mooseol!

    I am fairly new here, so when you said you were at goal I had to check out your weight loss.  You have so much reason to celebrate and as a success you also have alot of wisdom to share.  I would love to hear all the ways you are celebrating your weight loss....I feel confident you are not going to say with cake anc ice cream, haha.  Honestly, you must feel so good and so happy with yourself.  I am also from the Detroit area, Milford to be specific, (but soon to be moving to Petoskey with my husbands job, and yes I am going snow boot shopping soon)

     I like how you have emphasized that we will need to do this for the rest of our lives.  Many of us have listed here what are dreams and goals are for losing weight. 

 Could you maybe list some of the dreams and goals you are enjoying today that were only hoped for when you started?

  How is your life different today?  And maybe, how you coped when you had your darkest days in yout journey?

  Big Big Congrats.  You must feel like a million bucks.  and you must also be filled with gratitude, which is better than a million bucks.  Way to Go! 

I have one more motivation for my list.

I am a substitute teacher and work with kids from kindergarten thru 12th grade and it is amazing what comes out of the mouths of children, especially little children so my additional motivation:

I will NEVER again have a five year old child look at me at say, "You're really big"

I know that they are not trying to be mean, that they just haven't learned not to speak every thought that runs through their heads - but it is uncomfortable just the same.

Sunni

Wow! Reading these responses I found myself saying "me too" many times.

My reasons for wanting to lose weight, in no particular order, include:

1. I want to feel better instead of feeling worn out all the time.

2. I want to shop and not go to the plus size section of the store.

3. I to be able to get up from my seat in a smooth motion.

4. I want to sit in an airplane seat and be able to put the tray in front of me all the way down without it hitting me in the stomach.

5. I want to enjoy getting my picture taken.

6. When I do consent to having my picture taken, I don't want to cringe about how fat I am.

7. I want to feel more confident. I am reluctant to assert myself in many situations and my weight is a factor in this.

8. I live in Florida and would like to lay out on the beach.

I am sure I will think of more, but here is a start.

Take care

Jodi

jlg,

   You are singing my song.  I listed that I didn't want a seatbelt extension on the airplane, BUT that stupid tray is always a big deal for me.  Also, God forbid I am seated in the aisle and when they bring that stupid drink cart down,  they can hardly get past me causeIi'm hanging over the edge.  Yes, Yes, I want to not have to worry about these things!

And I was brought to tears when you brought up the photograph thing.  I have tons of photos of my kids and husband through the years,  but none of me  because I always avoided the camera.  And how did I answer my daughter when she asked why we didn't go for "family " pictures"?  I said,"oh I don't know, we just never got into that" .     But I knew, I knew for sure why, because I couldn't face the camera.  My insecurities didn't just hurt me, they hurt my family too. 

Regrets are sooo painful.  Don't let this weight rob you of one more life experience.  Don't let this weight rob your family of being all they can be.

  Let's do this.  Let's keep remebering WHY we want the weight gone

I wish I could turn back the clock but I can't. We only have today and the promise of tomorrow.  Let's live for today and do our best to conquer this demon.  We have all suffered way too much.

Pictures are a big deal for me.  I want to be able to look good in pictures, instead of a big fat blob.

I want to go to Orlando with my husband and ride rides, even though I don't like them, but because he wants to, and he likes to.  As it is, I am too worried I won't fit, but I just tell him I don't want to go.

I want to be able to fit into all my "cute" clothes.  The clothes I spent so much money on the last time I lost weight, the ones I cannot bring myself to through away.  I want to be able to buy clothes without thinking about it.  Not because I have to.

I take baths, because I love love love baths, but I want to be able to take a bath and not use a towel to cover up my torso because it won't go in the water. 

I want to be able to walk my dogs without feeling self conscious.  I do not like drawing attention to myself, and now I am very careful of what I wear when I walk because I don't want to be yelled at that I look like a tomato every again.  EVER.  AGAIN.  Can't people just be supportive of other people?  I mean christ.  That was the worst moment of my life so far.  I was so embarrassed and upset. 

I want to feel sexy when I am intimate with my husband, because seriously, it is really hard to feel sexy when you make the bed creek just getting in.  Also being intimate with the lights on would be nice too.

I'm adding to my list:

When my husband puts his arms around me - I want them to go all around me.

I want to be able to fit in stadium seats without spilling over into someone else's space - I'm sure they would appreciate that too.

I want to be able to jump in the swimming pool instead of someone helping me in and out of it.

I want to sit in a movie theater seat without having to raise the armrest up.

I want to be able to fit into a scrub suit to go in and watch my new grandbaby be born and not have to wear two..One on backwards and one on frontwards.  I have 7 1/2 months to wait till the newest one gets here.

I want to be able to run.

I don't want to ever see that look in my daughter's eyes again when she sees me eating something fattening after I promised her that I would lose this weight..She wants me to be healthy.

ibeckforme- thanks for posting this idea! I was just thinking to myself how I can possibly keep myself motivated longer than my usual 4-8 weeks. I am going to take this idea and use it!

So what are my motivators?

#1 I have diabetes-my aunt died at age 44 leaving behind her 4 kids due to complications with this disease. I do not want to do the same to my 4 kids.

#2 I want less pain in my body.

#3 I want to be able to sit comfortably anywhere.

#4 I want to be a great example to my kids

#5 Better sex!

#6 I want more energy.

#7 I want to be able to stand for longer periods of time.

#8 I want to shop off the rack.

#9 It may seem silly, but I want to own a pair of Levi's

#10 I want to own a smaller bra that fits.

#11 I miss the way I looked when I was fit. The firm belly and curvy assests.

#12 I want to be stronger.

I'm sure there is more!

Happymomamia, your reason #9 made me smile because today I bought my first pair of Levi's since junior high - size 16 tall. I've been working at this for more than 18 months and I still have a little while to go but at least I have my Levi's now!