to motivate: list why you want to lose weight, what are the advantages

GROUP CHALLENGE!!!

 I think reminding yourself everyday why we want this change in our lives is a big motivator (its part of the beck program for changing your thinking)

I keep a deck of index cards with all the reasons I want to lose weight and I read them twice a day, more if i find myself wanting to compromise my food plan.  It really helps.  I read them and I think do you want this advantage or do you want the food.  Can't have both.  Here's part of my list.  Love to hear some of your reasons.  (I also keep response cards, I'll share them at another time)

The Avantages of Losing Weight

-i won't have to ask for the seatbelt extender on the airplane

-i won't scan the room to see if i am the biggest person there

-i will, for the first time in my adult life, be able to cross my legs!

-i will enter an elevator and not wonder if they are thinking "have we hit our overload limit"

-i will be able to think of something other than this food obsession.  i will have more space in my head to dream big dreams

-i will find a life not limited by the restraints that being overweight has put on me

-my blood pressure will improve

-my diabetes will become manageble and i will avoid the horrid complications of this disease

-my children will be proud of me and they will know they have a mom who never gave up

-i will ride a bike...wow

-i will swim and swim

-i will turn over in bed with ease

-maybe my thighs won't run together!

-i will have more energy

-i will ride a scooter on vacation

-i will ride in a convertible and feel the wind in my hair and not be worried people are starring at me.   i will ride in a little car and feel ok

-i will go to the water park with my family-

i will go shopping with another female, wow that would be a first.  I never allowed myself this because of being so embarrassed of my size

-i might get a pedicure or a manicure

-maybe i could have the courage to get a massage

-intimacy with my husband would be easier 

-i will leave the granny panties in the store

   This are just a few of my hopes and dreams.  As you can see I have denied myself alot of joy in life because of this weight. You could argue that some of them i could already do, but the thing about being so big all your life is that you come to believe either you can't do things, or more often than not,,,,,you do not allow yourself to do things because you feel such shame.  I want to break away from all the shame and really truly be free.  Today, this minute that is what is most important to me.  It is more important that any treat I could eat.  Reminding myself daily really keeps the prize front and center.  For me, weight loss will truly be a dream come true.  I do not want to leave this world without realizing this dream.  Won't you join me and list your reasons.  I'm sure we share so many in common and I may find some of your reasons to add to my list.

congratulations Melina! I would settle for any pair of jeans right now that didn't have elastic in the waist band.

Thank You for posting this. I honestly hadn't really thought about why I wanted to lose weight before reading this post, I just knew I had to lose it.

1. I want to play with my great-grandchildren

2. I want to be at a healthy weight for the first time since I was 8.

3. I want to go shopping with my little sister and buy clothes for myself and not just for her

4. I don't want to be a "fat Army Wife" anymore

5. I want to go to a ball with my husband and feel pretty.

6. I want to feel as beautiful as my husband says I am.

7. I want to play tag with my kids.

8. I want to find clothes that both fit and are cute.

9. I would like to have sex with the lights on or during the day

10. I want to see my  baby's foot or hand print while I'm still pregnant.

11. I want to teach my daughter what a healthy relationship with food is.

12. I want to be an inspiration to anyone that wants to lose weight but thinks they can't

I just joined calorie count and was reading through things trying to find ways to help myself stay on track and lose this weight finally and this thread caught my eye.

I want to be able to say that I did it. I keep starting diets and losing a few pounds and then I gain it all back.

I want to be able to know that my uncle isn't the only one who can change his life.  He is a year younger than me and was probably double the weight I am, but also almost a foot taller and has already lost over 100 pounds since the beginning of the year using the Atkins diet. 

I want to see my niece and nephew grow up and get married.

I want to be able to enjoy playing with my niece and nephew.  I visited my sister for a week at the beginning of September and just a half hour of trying to keep up with my niece at the playground wore me out for the rest of the day.

I want to be able to go shopping in normal stores. 

I want to like what I see in the mirror instead of avoiding them.

I want to be able to ditch the seat belt extension in my car. 

I want to be comfortable meeting men and dating without feeling limited in choices because of my weight or having guys tell me that I am nice, but too big for them to consider dating.

I want to be able to enjoy family vacations.  The whole family (mom, dad, sister, BIL, niece, & nephew) are going to Disney for a week at the beginning of February and even though I am looking forward to spending a week with my family I am dreading the reality that I will hold the group back because I am slower due to my weight.

I want to be able to use a regular towel and have it wrap all the way around me instead of having to get the over-sized bath sheets.

There are probably many more reasons that I want to lose the weight, but the biggest is that I want to live a long life.  This thread has helped me already to get motivated.  I am hoping that this will be the last "diet" I ever need.

Southernknitter,

     You sound like such a sweet, dear person and I am stealing some of your "reasons" for my lists!

" I want to be able to say, "I did it!!".........wow, Icould just cry. 

 I could not count the times in my life that  I have started a "diet",  and could not finish, and  then I went to bed again,  and again feeling like a failure.  As devastating  as it is to fail,  you would think I could just throw in the towel and just accept I am fat and always will be......I am 54 years old for God's sake!  I have never in my entire life not been fat.

 And God and I only know the suffering that comes with this obession.  (But maybe YOU know.) 

And yet I can not give up.  I just can't do it.

  I swear I will NOT go to my grave with all this weight.  I will not give in. 

 I will not die before I live!

I too want to say, "I did it",  What a glorious day that will be.  It will be a dream come true.  I will live a life not defined by the limits of my weight.

  I will be free!

Thank You for "saying it out loud!  Don't we all just want to scream it from the rooftops.  "I did it!  I am the boss of me.  I can control the food, it will not control and define me any longer"

I have read,  it is sometimes nearly impossible for a person to change , really change.  But most times, the people who do change have one thing in common.  Their change follows intolerable pain!.....

What is your threshold of pain?  We get to choose.

  A therapist once told me everybody has their own threshold for pain.  That place where we can no longer tolerate the pain and we have to make chainges to survive.

He used an alcoholic as an example.  He said some alcoholics get one DUI and they change, others have to go to jail, some lose their families, spouses leave them, children shun them, and then they reform....some have to lose it all, family job,home,all their money, and then they change....they are in the streets with no where to go because no one will even speak to them anymore, so they surrender and they nake changes, they give up the drinking and their addictions.

  But then he said the most frightening thing of all.....

  Some die in the gutter and never ever reach their tolerance of pain.  How sad, what a heartbreak, a life not lived, a life that never came alive.

  But the thing of it is, we can CHOOSE where it stops.  I really think some of us don't believe that.  The addiction of the food has such a hold on us, it lies to us and tells us we are weak and can't survive without it.

 But we can, we are way more strong than we know.

  That is kind of a hidden secret.  We are greater than we can imagine and we have all the power we need within us.  All we have is all we need.  We can cultivate gratitude and we will become so empowered.

  Maybe we have to get angry, maybe we have to say, I AM mad as hell and I won't torture myself anymore.

  We need to keep asking why we want this weight gone.  How high a price will we pay before we surrender and let go of the food?  

This group has become so very important to me for many reasons, but one reason is that we all are here to lose 100 or more pounds.  Just because of that, I think we share a common mindset.  We know each other's pain,  even though we may not even know each others real name.  How profound is that?  We know the pain, the struggle, and the desires.  I would be so sad if I went to my computer and could not find this group. 

 I believe I have come home. 

I apologize for the long post.  But tonight for some reason, southernknitter's words,

 "I want to say I did it !",

 pulled emotion from deep within me.  Thank you for listening. Thank you for posting. 

       &nb sp;               &nb sp;               &nb sp;               &nb sp;               &nb sp;               &nb sp;             Patty

Thanks so much for the kind words ibeckforme - I had a rough day today with sticking to my new weight loss plan.  Several coworkers had brought in Halloween candy and put it out on the table in the break room and it was so tempting - especially since I have been slightly hungry all day since I am most definitely eating way less than I had been.  Coming home to these words from you reminded me that there is a reason that I am trying to lose this weight and that no matter what other people offer me it is up to me to make the choice of either being good or giving in - today I managed to walk away knowing that I would have to log my food for the day.  Here are a few more things I want to be able to do.

I want to be able to tie my shoes without getting winded.  I am not even 30 years old yet so something so simple should not be such a struggle.

I want to be able to feel comfortable standing up in front of a group and giving a presentation - not worrying about my weight the whole time.

I got a new one:

I want to look at my profile in the mirror and my boobs stick out further than my stomach

AND

I want to sit down (and not pull my shirt away from my stomach) and look down and only see boobs not boobs and stomach.

:)

You are so welcome southernknitter, but believe me I was so appreciative of your words.  They helped me make it through a long night without eating.

(Hey, we are  here to help ourselves and each other.  I like it that people stay so focused here and don't go off on tangents about tv shows or their Aunt Tilly's last operation, hahaa)

Again you guys pulled up two more reasons I hadn't considered:

---boobs bigger than belly is a big one!

---and when I sit down I want to have a lap!   That would be awesome!

Keep them coming, keep trying, and keep sharing

Thank you - Thank you - Thank you to all my wonderful friends here on CC.

I had a really bad week last week..For some reason I just totally went off my diet..That's not true, I know the reason..The food addiction got into my emotions and told me that I would NEVER reach my goal so why torture myself.

So I stayed away from this site except to peek in and see how you guys were doing..And every time I checked in - Ya'll were plugging away - Encouraging each other just like you have encouraged me.

And then, last night - I reread all the reasons you all gave on this site for why it is so important for you all to lose this weight. .I read how you all struggle just like me and I cried..I felt like I would let you all down too if I gave in.

And today, for the first time in my life, I did not walk away from my diet..I logged up all my bad food choices and looked them in the eye. Food is not going to win this time..Today I had a healthy food day.

So again, thank you for all the kind words you give me and each other..And I know we are going to be celebrating some victories here.

I want to say "I did it !! too.

lyntex,

Here's what I have FINALLY figured out after a lifetime of struggleing with this demon......the sooner you get back on the horse after you fall the more likely you are to stay on that horse in the future.

That is one reason I have faced the scale and don't let it have power over me.  I now weigh everyday.  I have proven to myself that the number goes up and down wildly sometimes, sometimes for unexplained reasons, but eventually it reflects calories in and calories out.  I weigh because I face it everyday and it gets me back on the horse.  I used to hide.  If it went up and up I didn't want to face it and I felt defeated.  Now I get on and it keeps me connected to my purpose.  I hope I am saying this right.  the number is not the main reason I get on the scale.  The main reason I get on there is because it is symbolic to me.  It is the first step of my journey each and every day.  It tells me I have changed from dieting to making a change in my lifestyle to become healthier. 

Am I happy when it goes down, sure.  But I am also keenly aware now that losing weight is like a dance.  A few steps this way, a few that way.  Kinda like how spring leads into summer, there are warm days, then cold days, maybe an unexpected snow....but I can trust that summer will come.  Your goals will come, just keep the dance going each and every day.  Make friends with your scale.    Unlike the food it never lies, you make think it does if you are really following your diet and nothing happens, but the numbers reflect more than just food.  There are hormones, and stress and sodium and who knows what else.  It is just a number that reflects the "tide".

Last summer my sweet daughter took the bar exam to become an attorney.  We were so proud of her but she was so stressed out she became a different person for awhile.  I just couldn't seem to find a way to comfort and encourage her.  I got on line to look for inspiration as I often do and came upon a blog of other law students venting about preparing for the exam.  I found this one simple quote.  "The only people who don't pass the bar are the ones who stop taking it.'    Duh, right?  Well yes, but really profound, because that is a simple truth" for most goals we set, and also something to tatoo in your mind.  "The only way you not be successful at losing weight is if you stop trying." 

We are all here to encourage and inspire each other to keep trying and to keep getting 'smarter' each time we try.

I hear you loud and strong!  I want  YOU to be able to say"I did it!"  too.

Hang in there friend, you will figure it out, just don't stop trying.  Your success will be our success

new reason for me to lose weight-

--I want to be able to tuck in a blouse...now I could do that now, but I want to look good tucking in a blouse, snd maybe be able to actually see a belt

-i'd like to be able to wear a necklace right out of the box without having to get a longer chain for the pendant

--i'd like this acid reflux to be gone!

--i just want to be comfy in a car, backseat included

--i want to see the look on my doc's face when I have lost this weight, I'll even let him think he helped, ha ha

--i want to wear a pair of shorts in the summer

--i am so sick of myself and my weight, i want to have this in check so I can be free to think more of other people!

--i read textmom saying she wanted to be successful so she could help others, i want so much to do the same

--i want respect from other people, respect earned from saying i am gonna do something and then doing it.  i don't want to have to see people's eyes roll when I say i am trying to lose weight...again!

Well, as a male, I dont have as many reasons to lose weight...that I can think of anyway.  Here are a few I came up with. 

I am tired of the chronic lower back pain that comes with being heavy.

I want to be able to walk up a flight of stairs without huffing and puffing.

I have a baby on the way and I want to be able to keep up with him/her.

I want to be able to become a better firefighter and police oficer.

I want to prevent heart disease.

I want to lower my blood pressure

Southernknitter,

How nice to meet you.  I can tie my shoes without any trouble now.  It takes less pounds off than you would think!

MJ,

Since those are the things that matter to you, then even though there aren't very many, they are important.  You may think of some later (like being able to rescue someone from a fire).

Ooooo.

Wearing a blouse tucked in!!! Heaven.

Since eating healthier, and exercising, and weight training my back almost NEVER hurts anymore. I mean, I have to do something specific for it to hurt now! I have had documented osteoarthritis and bone spurs since I was at least 18. I never would have believed changing the way I eat, losing weight, exercising and weight training (back muscles too) would have improved my back or atleast it doesn't hurt!

thats such a great reason mj!

Tucking in a shirt... I can not remember the last time I did this, thought to do this,wanted to do... I have absolutely no idea how that would even look or feel! I truly can not envision this :) Like some kind of pleated pants with belt and blouse tucked in.... sounds so alien to me haha

- My intense hypochondria will improve if I don't have as much to worry over

- I won't be laughed at or joked about behind my back/in front of me

- I won't have aches and pains like I'm 70 when I'm only 19

- I'll be able to wear shirts that I like instead of having to pick from shirts that're my size

- I'll let people take pictures of me without feeling horrible when I look at them

- I'll be able to swim again because I'll wear a bathing suit

- I'll be able to sleep on my back without weight on my chest

- The scar tissue on my stomach from my surgery won't be so sensitive

- I won't stay in the house all day because of depression from my weight

- My blood pressure and cholesterol will go down

- I'll be able to walk the local museums/convention/zoo without having to sit down every few minutes

- I'll stop getting rashes under my stomach

- I'll have the courage to ask someone that I like out due to improved self-esteem

- I won't suffer so badly in the heat

- My heartrate will go down (it's about 100 normally)

- I can stop avoiding amusement park rides because I'm afraid they won't be able to close the bar over my stomach

- I'll stop having to use a special scale to weigh myself (normal scales go up to 300, I'm 350)

- I'll be able to wear shorts

- My breathing problems will cease

- My sleeping problems will stop

- I'll be able to walk up steps without breathing heavily

- I won't have to worry about constantly pulling up my pants or pulling my shirt down over my gut

- I can turn over in bed without flopping to the side like a whale

- My joints won't hurt all the time anymore

- I'll finally stop hating myself and be able to let loose! I'll finally be happy.

Everyday I find a new reason:

I found a belt that I wore in high school - I would like to get it to go around my LEG - lol

I know that it doesn't take much to get to where tying your shoes doesn't cause you issues - I have been on a seesaw diet for the last 2 years that has me taking off about 30 pounds and then putting it back on.  I am hoping that it will be easier by the beginning of February as my whole family is going to Disney and I don't want to have to ask for help or be struggling to tie my shoes if they come untied in the parks.  So far so good - already down a pound, of course after the day I had at work (my mom too since we work at the same place) we decided to have pizza from Papa John's, but I do have to say that I went with light sauce and just regular cheese not extra.  Plus I managed to to eat less slices than I would have even a week ago as I was full - I can't remember the last time I stopped eating when I was full.  Emotional eating is my biggest problem so we will see how things go as the next few months are some of my roughest months emotionally. I did think of a new thing that I am looking forward to once I lose the weight.

I want to be able to pass people in the aisles at work without having to worry about catching anything hanging out of their cart with my stomach - it can be so embarrassing when I knock things out of a persons cart because of this that sometimes I want to just sink into the floor.

When I get down to 190 (that's still 50 pounds away - oy), I'm going to start horseback riding again.  I started lessons as a kid, and loved it - and I want to be able to do the works - jumping, cantering, galloping (oh my!). 

Just one thing I've done for motivation that maybe will help: I've already lost 10 pounds (I'm sure it's mostly water weight but as long as it doesn't come back on I don't care!), and I stand on the scale holding things to make it go back up to 250.  Then, I really feel how heavy those 10 pounds are - and I'm totally motivated.  I mean, what will 50 be like?  (My dog - that's what lol).

Cheers!

xsaix - you have reminded me of another motivation for me - I too will stop having rashes under my stomach. They are painful and annoying!

Another thing to add to my motivations:

I will use a hand held shower because I WANT to not because I have to in order to reach everywhere and assure that it is all clean.

Sunni