no motovation after dog death.

hey everyone,
last week my dog was killed when hit by a car. since then, i am having a hard time motovating myself to get up early and go to the gym. i have been going after work, mainly because it is so depressing going right home to no dog after my day. as for the morning, i used to get up and take her for her walk then go to the gym, now my only motovation to get up is work. believe it or not, i am more distraught over losing my dog then any previous breakup with my ex bf's. how do i get over this? i really dont know how to get myself out of this funk.

Hi

I'm really sorry to hear about the loss of your dog.  I can understand how sad you must be because she was part of your 'family' and it was a tragic accident that took her away.

Just reading your post I instantly thought that what you need is a 'new dog'. 

I know you might be thinking that it's too soon cos you're in a grieving period etc but I really do think that this will give you an instant lift and get you back where you were before.  After all, there is a lonely sad little dog in your local dog shelter just waiting for a caring owner like you to come along and rescue them and give them all the love you have to give.  And your new friend will give you lots of love back too, tenfold.

Don't think though that this means you're forgetting your old dog, cos it doesn't mean that.  Nothing or no-one could replace her, she was an individual and you will always remember the good times she gave you, and NEVER forget her.

But a new dog will also bring you happiness and you can look forward to coming home and they'll be there to greet you and help take away any of your worries from the day.  You can take them for a walk whenever you like and think 'happy' thoughts reminiscing about your old dog.

I too have lost dogs in the past and I know how heartbreaking it can be, they're so special in every way.  The old saying that 'time is a great healer' is true, in the meantime you just have to be as positive as you can.

Good luck

 

 

Losing a loved pet is a very harsh blow. Many of us know how you feel. Take a little time to grieve as you would with a human friend.

I haven't had a dog for a long time but I did have a calico kitty named Neutron. My wife insisted on rescuing this half starved, filthy, pregnaunt, fraile, near death, runt of a fuzz ball from an unethical pet shop.  Short version of the story is this basket case pet cat bonded with me instead of her. I've imagined I would end up loving any pet much less a cat like I ended up loving Neutron. At the risk of sounding a little bit like a nutcase, I dare say I had a rapport with this cat. I have a hobby that requires very delicate precise skills. It's building models for competition. Tons of fiddly bits that cats just love to scatter everywhere. Neutron would sit on my shoulder watching for hours at a time. She could lay on my work desk but never disturbed any of the work or small parts. Cats just don't do that sort of thing. She'd also look at me and then look at the project and meow like she was making constructive suggestions. People didn't believe me when I told them about this. Some of them didn't seem to believe it even when they saw it. She died of natural causes at about 14.5 years of age.

In time a new stray kitty needed a home. While Butter-Ball isn't Neutron, she is a wonderful pet I care about very much. BB as she called helped ease the pain. I feel for you for your loss.

Keep working on the weight and stay focused.

i'm so sorry to hear about the loss of your dog!! all you can do is take it one day at a time. take as long as you need to greive. it will get easier with time.

I can relate to what you are saying so well.

My beloved orange tabby cat, Chloe, died two years ago at age 16 from kidney failure.  She grew up with my children and was a part of our family -- we all loved her deeply, but she was definitely MY cat -- she would wait for me to come home like a dog does.  I was the only one who could hold her.  The sound of my voice was enough to calm her when she was nutsy, which was often!  She was a wonderful animal companion, and I honestly don't think I've loved another being that much other than my husband and children (and sometimes not even my husband! :).   We just had such a rapport with each other. 

When I lost her, I was devastated for months.  We have two other cats, who missed her also.  I couldn't imagine bringing another cat into the house at that time, I missed her so much; however, my son, being very wise for a young man, brought home a male orange tabby who was the spitting image of Chloe, just bigger and had a totally different personality.  He was a stray, in bad shape and in need of love and people to trust. At first, I didn't think I could get attached to him, but before I knew it, I was.  It's not the same way I felt about Chloe, or even about the other two male cats who've been with us for several years, it's different, but wonderful just the same. 

A friend told me when Chloe passed that when the time was right, she would send another animal who needed me to my door.  I really believe she sent Pumpkin to us.  I still miss her deeply, but I have been able to translate my grief into taking care of this other animal that needs us. 

Perhaps when you are ready, getting another dog, or even a cat, if you are so inclined, will help you in the same way it did me.  I hope your heart begins to heal soon.

The unconditional love from a pet and returned feelings for them is a horrible thing to lose - Im sorry that you had to experience that.  Know that it will become less painful.

When my daughter lost her cat, I worried when she would heal because it was so painful for her and she was so young and unexperienced at understanding loss.  Looking back, I see how she would be past it but just thinking about it would get her in tears while now she can talk about it without breaking down.  Remind yourself in more time remember the wonderfulness of you dog wont always be accompanied by the painfulness of the loss.

The interesting thing about suggesting a new pet isnt just to replace the feeling of loss with the happiness of a new dog. Developing a bond with a new pet is such life affirming thing it can really provide a balance to the lows of your loss because it is such a joyful experience.  The only getting over it is time.  Dont be tough on yourself exercise diet wise but great to use it as a positive distraction as heal.

Hey Karen, sorry about your loss.  Give yourself a break.  You'll remotivate when you're ready.

So sorry for the sudden loss of your dog. Please take the time necessary to grieve and take each day as it comes. I find it helps to set up a little shrine, picture, flowers, lots of tears, remembrances.

thanks everyone for your warm replies, i am literally crying reading them. i definately think i am going to get a new dog, im not sure when, but hopefully within the next few months. i guess i am just going to treat it as a break up and just give myself time to come around. i am ok while at work, but getting up in the morning and coming back to my home at night is the hardest points of my day. hopefully with time, it will get easier. its very reassuring to hear similar stories, i have never lost a dog before, and i never realized how much she was part of the fam. i find myself having a hard time communicating my grief to people who arent pet owners, i dont think they fully understand the true capacity of a pet-human relationship.

be strong.. it is a horrible thing to go through.. my dog Bestia (Rottie) was poisoned and passed away in my arms.. its the hardest thing.. but you will be ok! you will be a great mommy for a needed dog

I adopted 2 cats years ago.  Mac died in the vet's office after an operation.  He was only 3.  The house seemed so empty when I came home even though I still had his brother, Squat.  Flash forward 15 years.  Squat died after giving me 18 wonderful years.  Talk about an empty feeling....

Everyone thought I should get another cat.  It took me about 7 months but I did get another.  Wally needed a home and now he has one.  I've loved him for 4 years.  :)

When you desire to have another pet you will get one.  You have to do it under your own terms.  I never wanted to feel like I was trying to replace Squat.

I'm sorry.  I know how much you loved your dog and how lonely you must feel with him gone.

Last Thursday I had to have my 15 1/2 year old dog, Sugar, a part llaso part poode, put to sleep, so I am right here with you feeling the same way, although until I read your post it never clicked why I had been so "out of it" in keeping a log.  I figure I will get another dog eventually, but right now everything seems off to me. 
When someone is with you every hour you are home that many years, nothing is the same so it HAS to take time.  Guess we both just need to take it one day at a time and just be aware that not taking care of our own selves won't fix this!!!! , SThinking about you!

Hey.  I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone.  My family just lost a dog last month and it is still hard when I think about her.  Her name was Duchess and she was actually my brother's dog, but she lived with our family for such a long time that I was really attached to her.  I know that it is really hard to lose such an important member of your family and I will pray that you will have peace as you heal from this loss. 

Doorfry<><

I am so sorry to hear about your beloved dog.  I too just lost my childhood friend on Saturday.  He was also hit by a car.  Last year my husband lost his best friend of 14 years, a German Shepard named Isis.  It takes a long time to adjust.  You never get over it, but you can look back and remember the good times you shared.  My husband found comfort in going to websites that offer support for losing your pets.  It really helped him heal and become a happy person again.  In a couple of months we will be looking to add a new furry family member and he still finds it hard to accept she is gone and it has been over a year.  http://www.petloss.com/  This website has helped a lot and we still light a candle every monday night to celebrate Isis's life and to remember her.

I am so sorry to hear about your dog please accept my condolences. Losing a family member can be devastaing, even a fuzzy one. All you can do is give it time it does get better.

thank you all for your support. i never lost a pet before so this experience is all new to me, its extremely comforting to see how many people at some point felt the same way i do. i find more comfort in talking to people who have also lost pets. i am going to the vet to pick up her ashes tomorrow, the thought of burying her was too hard. for those who got a new pet after the loss, how did you know you were ready to do so? 

((( hug ))) I am very sorry for your loss.... and for the losses mentioned here by other people.

My husband and I are very active in animal rescue; we transport and foster cats and dogs for a number of local and regional animal rescue organizations.  There is always a need for kind, loving, capable people to step up and help with fostering (short-term, or longer-term) of some absolutely wonderful little furry guys who need some love, some time, and some space.

At some point, you may want to consider volunteering to be a foster parent for a while, to use your skills, abilities, experience and kindness to help a homeless animal or two. Then, when you are ready, you can start the process of looking for a new little furry friend to share your life with on a more permanent basis. But, in the meantime, you'd be helping hurt, scared, and lonely animals that just need a temporary place to stay, a kind word, and a loving touch.

I, too, have a number of close, furry family members and friends that I'll be looking for at the "Rainbow Bridge....."

=^..^= MOLLY

I lost my chihuahua last year to congestive heart failure...  Thankfully, I had 2, so Eddie has helped to fill the loss and to keep away the quiet.

I honestly don't know that I'd have been able to deal with the quiet house.  To me, that would have been the worst.  I went nuts the one night I sent them to a friends before I went on vacation.  I just needed that extra someone there with me. 

I probably would have gone out within the next week to adopt another one.  Mainly because A.  I'm such a sucker for a stray, and there are SOOOO many who need homes, if I had a spot to fill, there would be an animal in it.  B.  I know I'm not replacing him, but I need to have that extra something in my life, and he wouldn't want me to feel lost without it.  

Some people want more time to grieve...  But I think I'd grieve more with the quiet than without.   

Kren, I am so sorry to hear of your loss.  As many have already said...it is so terribly sad to lose a furry best friend.  Please, consider providing a loving home to another dog as a way of honoring you beloved pet and because your dear dog would not want you to be alone now.

We had a 14-year old chocolate lab called Mocha who had very bad hip dysplasia.  We knew there'd come a time when she'd be unable to go on.  For nearly a year before she died I wanted another dog because I was so afraid of losing Mocha and missing her too much.  My DH was concerned that Mocha would think we were "replacing" her.  It worked out that a puppy became available and she joined our household.  We lost Mocha three months later.  DH and I both now think that Mocha was able to leave us because she knew we wouldn't be alone.   

You are in my prayers,

JJ 

it is one of the great sadnesses of our lives that pets just don't live as long as humans. they are such loving companions and for those of us for whom pets are true family members, their loss is always a deep, heartfelt trauma. allow yourself time to mourn. i recommend finding a nice photo, framing it, and putting it in a place you'll see it each day. it'll help you deal with the loss of seeing your dog's face and help you cope with the loss. time will help you turn from the hurt of missing your dog to the more uplifting memory of the great & loving time you had together. appreciate the memories, and when you are ready, there's no dishonor in bringing another dog into your life, either as a foster for your local rescue groups or as a new permanent family member. i think too often we feel the normalizing of our lives and getting on with our lives represents us forgetting or moving away from that special bond. in time, permit yourself to heal & don't feel in any way that a return to old patterns, such as resuming a morning workout, means that you have forgotten your lost friend.

my heart goes out to you. the "hound" in carrihound is from my dog Buttercup, whom i lost almost exactly one year ago (Oct 27, 2006). she lost a long fight with cancer & was only 5 when she died. i miss her daily, especially this time of year as the thoughts of her final struggle return to me so vividly.

<<hugs>>

Karen, I am so sorry to hear about your pup.  I have always had dogs and have two big one's in my life right now. I lost my dog Beau about 4 years ago and to be honest I was sad for like 6 months.  Losing a dog is hard and sad and you need to give yourself some down time.  Instead of worrying about your weight and work out plan just let it go for a couple of weeks.  It will always be there when you get back.