"It was just a movie ..." - your opinion please

In the movie "Crash" is a scene in which a police officer pulls over a couple and THIS happens.

The movie was up for discussion and someone says of that scene something like "With legs like that .... "  to which I volunteered "Thats not something to joke about. The woman was being violated."  The response was, "Geez, it didnt really happen - it was just a movie."  No others offered opinions as the subject was promptly changed and to avoid awkwardness, I let it drop.

Was I oversensitive? Were they inappropriate? Really would like some opinions and why you feel as you do.

All kinds of grim stuff happens in movies.... murder, mutilation, rape, torture, incest, abuse.... you name it and they've made a film about it.  It's designed to provoke an emotional response and if you felt offended by the scene (I haven't opened the link) that was your emotional response.  The person saying 'it's just a movie' is absolutely right... it's not real, of course.  They might not have been able to engage with the scene the way you did... might have found it too far-fetched.

But they should be able to appreciate that a make-believe action being portrayed in a movie would be unacceptable or illegal in real life.  If they think the action would be acceptable because of 'legs like that' or whatever then maybe they're not the kind of person you'd really want to spend a lot of time with....

i have problems with movies that portray rape or child molestation. i KNOW they are movies but i can't watch them without feeling sick about it.

i think we have become desensitized, some of us more than others. i dont think people realize how prevalent violence and sex crimes have become part of modern cinema. i love classic movies. LOVE. maybe that is why i notice it more?

sex became ok as a topic in the 60s, as did violence. you see it touched on  here and there in the 50s but usually as a hint, not a graphic representation. psycho came out in 1960.

i remember my parents went to see bonnie and clyde (1967) at the movies and were really shocked by the violence. i was only 5 but i remember their reaction. i watch bonnie and clyde whenever its on, great flick, but compared to oh... District 9, which was awesome in spite of the violence, the violence is so very very mild.

i get what you are saying sun. i have butt heads with people over this same issue, different scenes. *shakes head*

Original Post by sun123:

Was I oversensitive? Were they inappropriate? Really would like some opinions and why you feel as you do.

Well, have you ever watched a movie with overt violence and found yourself cheering for the in-your-face-make-no-apologies hero?  Or even the villian?  Ever watch a horror movie and been remorseless for the dumb bimbo who INSISTS on wandering through the woods, at night, in heels, ..... you get the picture.

There are times where I've seen the dispatching of a character in a movie, whose sole drawback is that they were just too darned irritating.  I found myself, probably with the rest of the audience in the theater, thinking - "Well, he asked for it", when in reality, there's no way most people would advocate the point blank vigilante style murder of a person for just being irritating.

I agree with gi jane - I would only consider it an issue when people can't separate the fiction from reality.  The fact that this person felt it was a matter of sexual attraction instead of an abuse of power just demonstrates he totally misinterpreted the purpose of the scene.

I would only consider it an issue when people can't separate the fiction from reality

I think we all have to be a little more media literate as a society - and really consider every time we consume media what it meant and how it affected us, or we do get de-sensitized and unconsciously start feeling like things that are acceptable in fictional representations are acceptable in real life.

Original Post by santonacci:
The fact that this person felt it was a matter of sexual attraction instead of an abuse of power just demonstrates he totally misinterpreted the purpose of the scene.

But they didn't feel it was "a matter of sexual attraction instead of an abuse of power". (On the part of the perpetrator it was both, of course.) The comment Sun describes is a blame-the-victim mentality. A person is attractive, therefore it is excusable or at least understandable to violate them. It's an odious sentiment and I think Sun was right to be upset at hearing it. 

Laughing at ridiculously violent movies is different, IMO, because it's clearly campy and absurd. Crash was pretty realistic in a lot of ways, and none of the stories and scenes are unimaginable. If I were at a movie that portrayed a not uncommon social wrong in a realistic way - be it sexual assault or anything else - and people made light if it, I'd be annoyed too.

I dont think something like this hasnt happened in the real world but this scene is from a movie and nothing more. If it were a segment on the news then yes a great emotional response is more justified. I can see this scene having an impact on some one if it happened to them in real life. Some emotions from the past may get stirred and it will be more real to them than anyone eles.

While it was just a movie I can easily believe that it is something that has happened in real life. I sincerely hope that it will never happen again.  The movie scene for those who do see it makes you think...could this happen, has this happened?  For those who are unaware, hopefully it provokes a horrific distaste rather than a wish to be able to emulate.

Original Post by trustwomen:

The comment Sun describes is a blame-the-victim mentality. A person is attractive, therefore it is excusable or at least understandable to violate them. It's an odious sentiment and I think Sun was right to be upset at hearing it. 

And I totally understand and agree with Sun's reaction.  I was just saying that any guy who watches a scene about assault in a movie and the only thing they take away from it, or comment on, is how attractive the woman is, is an idiot and wasn't paying attention.  (Along the lines of watching some notorious scenes in The Untouchables and saying "Nice suit".)

I guess I'm just assuming the guy who said it is simply an unobservant distractable doofus.  There are indeed many people who prefer to blame the victim.

Original Post by sun123:

In the movie "Crash" is a scene in which a police officer pulls over a couple and THIS happens.

The movie was up for discussion and someone says of that scene something like "With legs like that .... "  to which I volunteered "Thats not something to joke about. The woman was being violated."  The response was, "Geez, it didnt really happen - it was just a movie."  No others offered opinions as the subject was promptly changed and to avoid awkwardness, I let it drop.

Was I oversensitive? Were they inappropriate? Really would like some opinions and why you feel as you do.

Even though it was a fictional scene of a cop abusing his power, your "friend" reveals a disturbing and victim blaming mentality with their attitude--she has nice legs therefore it's ok? Ummm, no. In addition, this person acted dismissive towards your feelings about it with the "just a movie" comment. 

Original Post by watergirl:

i have problems with movies that portray rape or child molestation. i KNOW they are movies but i can't watch them without feeling sick about it.

i think we have become desensitized, some of us more than others. i dont think people realize how prevalent violence and sex crimes have become part of modern cinema. i love classic movies. LOVE. maybe that is why i notice it more?

sex became ok as a topic in the 60s, as did violence. you see it touched on  here and there in the 50s but usually as a hint, not a graphic representation. psycho came out in 1960.

i remember my parents went to see bonnie and clyde (1967) at the movies and were really shocked by the violence. i was only 5 but i remember their reaction. i watch bonnie and clyde whenever its on, great flick, but compared to oh... District 9, which was awesome in spite of the violence, the violence is so very very mild.

i get what you are saying sun. i have butt heads with people over this same issue, different scenes. *shakes head*

 I totally agree with you, watergirl. We are so desensitized by sex and violence. I also love to watch old movies...the TMC channel is one of my favorites to watch and I'm only 32. I love musicals (Oklahoma, South Pacific, West Side Story) and Bette Davis movies (Now, Voyager) and the wholesome sexiness of Betty Grable, Esther Williams, and Jane Russell (just to name a few). Now, I do think awareness and information is good...knowledge is power after all, but gratuitous sex and violence I can do without.

sun,

I don't think you were oversentive. You were, though, sensitive to the fact that what was portrayed in the movie is a reality for a not insignificant portion of our society (physical assault, sexual abuse, etc) and the reality of abuse is without regard to a person's appearance, age, or any other personal characteristic.

I stopped watching horror movies in 1988. I am very selective about thriller/action movies.  I simply to do not find abuse or murder to be entertaining. I don't even want to invite the concept of violence as entertainment into my mind. That's my choice. So most of the time when something like that is discussed, I refrain from engaging.

I did see Crash. And I did see Gran Torino. Those movies contain violence, but I found it be more in the context of questioning of our society and our morality and our humanity than a depiction of violence for the sole sake of amusement.

If you've ever see No Country For Old Men I always think of it as a violent movie that condemns violence, while Quentin Tarantino movies seem to be violent movies that glorify violence.  I saw Crash and I thought it was supposed to evoke disgust and reflection on problems in our society.

Original Post by santonacci:

Original Post by sun123:

Was I oversensitive? Were they inappropriate? Really would like some opinions and why you feel as you do.

Well, have you ever watched a movie with overt violence and found yourself cheering for the in-your-face-make-no-apologies hero?  Or even the villian?  Ever watch a horror movie and been remorseless for the dumb bimbo who INSISTS on wandering through the woods, at night, in heels, ..... you get the picture.

There are times where I've seen the dispatching of a character in a movie, whose sole drawback is that they were just too darned irritating.  I found myself, probably with the rest of the audience in the theater, thinking - "Well, he asked for it", when in reality, there's no way most people would advocate the point blank vigilante style murder of a person for just being irritating.

I agree with gi jane - I would only consider it an issue when people can't separate the fiction from reality.  The fact that this person felt it was a matter of sexual attraction instead of an abuse of power just demonstrates he totally misinterpreted the purpose of the scene.

I agree with most of this.  I often think "That dummy deserved it" in a movie, but in real life the same situation would probably bring me to screaming and tears to witness.

However, the guy who commented about her legs was out of line majorly.  He took the situation and inserted what sounds like his own opinion about a real-life situation.  The "it's just a movie" sounded like back-tracking to me, though of course I don't know the situation.

Sun, I think you did the right thing by at least letting him know that kind of speech isn't going to fly.  I hope he felt embarrassed.

I would read ****: A Declaration of Independence by Inga Muscio.  Despite how the title sounds this book is not a fem nazi or erotica novel, its about freedom and the real life ideas and feelings of one woman.  There is a section though about this specific sort of thing, and ideas as to how to react.  I believe and follow these almost to the t, because they are the only thing that makes sense to me.

Showing rape in a movie is entirely innapropriate in a fashion that sexualizes it.  Not that its innapropriate in all situations, but to make it appealing or attractive is sick.  That kind of comment is sick as well, and what is perpetuated by movies that sexualize it.  If i were to see a movie that contained a scene of that sort i would make a scene myself, as it really isnt okay and the fact that it is seen as such is even worse.  I would also demand a refund because i dont pay to see women raped and violated, and that kind of action filmed is such a way that it highlights the scene as more erotic then horrifying.

Edit: Ha, i didnt realize it wouldnt let me post that title, but it makes sense now.  Im sure you can find it just searching for the author

it was just a movie

Original Post by watergirl:

i have problems with movies that portray rape or child molestation. i KNOW they are movies but i can't watch them without feeling sick about it.

Same. It enduces vomiting for me. =/

Some movies make rape look "hot" and that totally grosses me out. It makes me fear it could convince the stupid to think it's ok. =/

Take the movie aspect out of that video, wouldn't surprise me if it had happened in real life, wouldn't make it any less ok even if it were a movie (refering to the friend's comment).

I think as a victim you take these more personal too. Even if it's not real, it shouldn't even be recreated. =/

Original Post by darcyskywolfe:

I would read ****: A Declaration of Independence by Inga Muscio.  Despite how the title sounds this book is not a fem nazi or erotica novel, its about freedom and the real life ideas and feelings of one woman.  There is a section though about this specific sort of thing, and ideas as to how to react.  I believe and follow these almost to the t, because they are the only thing that makes sense to me.

Showing rape in a movie is entirely innapropriate in a fashion that sexualizes it.  Not that its innapropriate in all situations, but to make it appealing or attractive is sick.  That kind of comment is sick as well, and what is perpetuated by movies that sexualize it.  If i were to see a movie that contained a scene of that sort i would make a scene myself, as it really isnt okay and the fact that it is seen as such is even worse.  I would also demand a refund because i dont pay to see women raped and violated, and that kind of action filmed is such a way that it highlights the scene as more erotic then horrifying.

Edit: Ha, i didnt realize it wouldnt let me post that title, but it makes sense now.  Im sure you can find it just searching for the author

 IMO, having seen this particular movie... they weren't trying to make it appealing or attractive.  The guy the OP is talking about is an idiot.

Haven't read everyone's posts, but my guess is that this is not going to be the most popular opinion.  Personally, I think we all take movies/books/art/media/etc. a little too seriously these days.  I'm guilty of it too, there are certain subjects that I can't watch in a movie without being pissed off and having to remind myself "it's just a movie."  You can't name a single movie that SOMEBODY wasn't offended by.  Honestly, films are trying to get a gut reaction out of their audience.  Since that's what they're going for, I understand why the OP was upset, but I can also understand the guy's reaction when she said something about what he probably figured was a stupid joke.

I was actually thinking about this the other day because a friend and I were watching the movie Murder By Death (which is hilarious, if you haven't seen it)  We were talking about how a movie like that couldn't be made these days. Were it made today rather than back in the 70s, you would have people screaming about the way foreigners and blind people were portrayed etc...

Original Post by cptbunny:

Original Post by watergirl:

i have problems with movies that portray rape or child molestation. i KNOW they are movies but i can't watch them without feeling sick about it.

Same. It enduces vomiting for me. =/

Some movies make rape look "hot" and that totally grosses me out. It makes me fear it could convince the stupid to think it's ok. =/

Take the movie aspect out of that video, wouldn't surprise me if it had happened in real life, wouldn't make it any less ok even if it were a movie (refering to the friend's comment).

I think as a victim you take these more personal too. Even if it's not real, it shouldn't even be recreated. =/

I have to say I don't think it shouldn't be recreated. What disturbed me about the original post was the idiot's response to it (wisecracks and possible arousal). But his mentality is already within him, the movie didn't put it there.

I think we can make art about touchy subject matter for a variety of reasons, including to create a dialogue about it, catharsis, awareness raising, etc.

Original Post by coffincritter:

I think we can make art about touchy subject matter for a variety of reasons, including to create a dialogue about it, catharsis, awareness raising, etc.

 good point critter.