moving in with your boyfriend/girlfriend

how did it change your relationship?

We stopped being so sappy and mushy.  That's about it.

Our relationship was a long standing one though.  We were well beyond hanging out in the bathroom talking to each other while one is taking a dump stage.

I think it varies between people, my OH moved in 3 years ago, we found it quite difficult, I'd been living alone for 3 years, he's been living alone for 2, neither of us had lived with a partner before.  but we argued, and made up, and worked through it. 

He taught me to be more relaxed, that it didn't really matter if the playstation remotes aren't put away straight away or if the milk bottle tops are left on the side.  I taught him to be better with money, that we could still be happy even if we didn't have much to spend.

A really good book that helped us through the rougher periods was "Seven principles of making marriage work" or something like that, it was some really good concepts and teaches you how to argue productively, how not to critise and how to build up your partners self esteem  even when you are frustrated.

There will be plenty of challenges ahead but nothing that you can't over come together if you want to.  Good luck.

I first lived in a one-room efficiency apt with my man.  It made me realize that I can spend the rest of my life with this person if I can spend every day in the same room with him.  It also showed me that he really has very few annoying habits.  I would say it was a positive thing for us.  However, when you are living together it is easy to fall into a pattern of not carving out specific time to spend together since you are seeing each other at home every day.  When you are both doing your own thing though it's not really the same.  That is the only negative I've had with it.

We didn't have to drive 2.5hr to see each other anymore and didn't spend an hour each evening talking on the phone to each other ... instead, we get to talk to each other all evening :)

Oh, and we got engaged a few months after moving in together, but that didn't really change our relationship, just added another topic of conversation.

We ended up married with 2 kids!

I say it depends on your age. I just graduated college and through college that was THE KISS OF DEATH for all of my friends... any of my friends that moved in with their boyfriend or girlfriend ended up breaking up badly...

I have been dating the same person since High School! I'm 23 (college grad now) and I have been with Collin for 6 years! I say make a decent woman outta me and give me a ROCK before we move in together... I don't want to just play house with the guy... PLUS what motivation does the guy have to marry you if you already live as husband and wife!?

Depends on your own personal standards- I say don't do it out of conveniece, do it if you are really really ready... not because splitting bills is cheaper and you needed a roommate anyways.

We ended up engaged after 3 months of living together and married 11 months after that because it let us figure out that this really was going to work.  Although we had lived in the same dorm at college for 3 years before that so we already spent most of our time together.  I think moving in together is the ultimate test of a relationship, but you shouldn't do it unless you are pretty sure he/she is the person for you.

Not at all. We've been living together for over 2 years and there hasn't been any problem.

It's made it stronger with me and my BF. For a lot of the reasons others outlined... just showed we were even more compatible than we'd already thought. We have had a few bumps in the road but have worked through them. Minor things like I am a neat freak and he's not. But it's made us stronger as a couple, I feel like we can withstand anything... we've had a few other issues that have happened also, outside of our relationshp, that we've supported one another through. And that has also helped to strengthen things for us too.

I'm 25 and he's 29. He figured that because I had a good job, he didnt need to work and I foolishly took care of him. After a year and a bit of living together, he's moved out, and we're trying to work it out.

I live with 3 of my Boyfriends

1 was only short term it was more out of convenience then anything, neither one of us wanted to live at home and we couldn't afford to be out on our own. Really did not change a thing he had his life I had mine. I wanted more and he could not/would not commit to more. Did not really argue just knew it was time to get out. Mind you I never cheated just moved in with family. Live in Relationships out of convenience never work. (was a good lesson for me)

The next one was 2 yrs. Bad relationship all together was a fiance, I wouldn't married him till we lived together first wanted to be sure we could get along after the first live together as we were having problems from the start. Never did get along he was too abusive and I would not stand there and take it. (a very good lesson for me)

Number three was the charm we Lived together for 2 years been married 23 yrs., 4 daughters. Didn't really argue the first 3 yrs we where together, then we moved in with his mom. Argued ever since, but still together never changed how we feel about each other and our ability to communicate. We still love each other and act like we dating. Just argue which is  sometimes healthy for a relationship as long as no one gets physically or emotionally hurt. Besides we still love to make up I thinks that is the best part. I still get flowers every once in a while, he stopped putting candy on my pillow now it's fresh fruit. And I still take dinner to him at work 2 or 3 times a week. If my husband left today I would not be devastated I would and could carry on, (although if he passed away I do not think I could handle it). He always jokes that it took too long to train me why would he want out now. And I say if I moved out I would call him for a Booty Call. By the way he would get my girls, (He definitely would not have a life taking care of them (I am joking, I could not give up my daughters). Oh we still date once or twice a month. We have Date night and get all dolled up and go out. We sometimes miss a few months of dating and I can really tell that it is time to go out.

I wouldn't change a thing learned a lot about myself and what I wanted, Mostly what I didn't want. Just try to remember If it don't work out that It's time to get out, don't stay in a live in  relationship to long if it is not working. I never thought of the break-ups as a failure only as a lesson and tryed to learn from it.

I have lived with my boyfriend for about 2 years. We are engaged and our parents had issues with it at first--but for two college kids it works out financially. We started out with a two bedroom and it felt kind of lonely at first with all of the extra space, so one thing lead to another and we adopted a cat. Thats really all it took to feel like home...in a way the cat helped our relationship. But on the relationship side--it really cemented the fact that we wanted to be together. I am more relaxed now and he tries harder to meet me half way in terms of chores around the apartment. I know that if we didn't live together, one of us would be paying stupid amounts of money to leave their stuff in one place and spend all of their time at the other person's. Even if money wasn't tight, I couldn't rationalize not living with someone I am so in love with. The only precautionary measure is having open communication regarding "alone time". I am an introvert and I have to have a disclaimer if I wake up and feel like just being alone or what not. Thats basically it. Good luck with whatever decision you make :)

For me some things got better (I had difficulty living two places-felt unsettled), other things worse (like less sex-which was the opposite of what I hoped would happen).

I am in a holding pattern right now but I think it is pretty unique to my situation. He works incredibly long hours-12 to 13 hour days. Due to retire (he will only be 52-we are 10 years apart) in a year and  a half. I am not happy with the way things are now but in all fairness have to give it a try when he is not so exhausted/drained. I am a restless person so to 'wait' is very hard and sometimes I can't let the things that bother me 'be'. BUT-I also can't picture life without him-he is the person I want to be with most-so I am hangin in.

Hmmm, I guess I still feel unsettled........

We got a lot more comfortable with being quiet around each other. No awkward silence but not constant conversation either.

I think he realizes my moodyness (I am a girl with hormones after all) a little more now that he sees me daily. But nothing to the point of complaints over it.

 We discovered household activities that we can share (cooking) and activities that we are best left not combining (we each do our own laundry). Other activities become one persons responsibility (He does the pots and pans dishes, I'm more likely to  load the dishwasher & dust & sweep floors & scrub bathrooms - and I still think I win!)

Figuring out financial agreements before moving in together is a biggie. Who pays for groceries? electricity bills? cable? So far we haven't had any issues over it since we're both fairly good with money.

We probably don't have as much sex drive because now it is available every day of the week instead of just when we got to see eachother. But I also get more snuggle time so it evens out.

It's crossed my mind because we live at opposite ends of the city and we both live at home, so visiting kind of sucks. I've been getting the itch to move out but know if I moved out I'd want a roommate for company and splitting costs. The only person I'd want to see that often is him, plus there would be no privacy issues. I made a comment about it once and he said he didn't want us to become like this other couple that is always fighting...(but they fought all the time even before moving in together). We've never had an actual argument. I know that would probably change once we see each other day in day out. I have this little fantasy of decorating my new place, seeing my bf everyday and having a place to invite friends to :P. The whole thing is just kind of frustrating. I did live with an ex for a few months and it was good. I enjoyed 'playing house', we'd go grocery shopping, he'd cook, I'd do the dishes, etc. It probably won't happen any time soon.

A big part of what is making it work for me and my BF is that we're very honest with one another about what we need. Like I need a lot of personal space, compare to some people. When I get home from work I don't want to be fussed over, I need some time to myself to decompress. And he knows that about me, because I tell him. He's got things that he needs, and that I respect as well... Things like that.

Original Post by caclbmc:

I live with 3 of my Boyfriends

 

 I read that too quick, and was thinking, damn, how DOES she do that!

we knew each other about 2 weeks she started staying over, about a month later we got engaged and now 10 years later we are still married with 2 kids....oh and i dont think she likes me as much as she used to......lol

After living with my boyfriend for 3 years, I can't imagine living without him. Being together everyday helps balance our relationship. He slows me down and I speed him up and we end up in the middle. Overall it's the best thing for us.

Original Post by jef9up:

Figuring out financial agreements before moving in together is a biggie. Who pays for groceries? electricity bills? cable? So far we haven't had any issues over it since we're both fairly good with money.

I think this was huge.

Because we knew that we were headed towards marriage, we consider everything to be 'our' money, but still keep our accounts separate. We got one shared acct that we could move money into, and a joint card that we each pay half of. Utilities come from the shared acct. We both pay the same amount of rent that we paid when we lived apart, but the surplus goes towards our savings acct to buy a house.