Why do I do it to myself?

How come I can never commit to myself? I wake up and tell myself that I am going to have a good day..I start out good, have a good breakfast or something, then I get a glimpse of myself in the mirror and I hate my stomach (my main problem area) and I get ticked off at myself and that pretty much ruins the day for me. For lunch I have something not great and then I don't feel that great afterwards, then by supper time I am looking for something salty or fatty and then I don't have the energy to workout...and it goes on and on...I hate this...Why can't I commit to myself? Why can't I use my disgust as motivation to get my butt moving and get good food into my body? Why can't I convince myself that I am worth it? I am not going to get anywhere with this vicious cycle! Does anyone else have this problem, if so, how do you deal with it?

I am working extremely hard to break this cycle right now, and so far I am at DAY 28, and down 7.2 lbs.  The most important thing for me is that when I am really having a hard time, my boyfriend chooses to become my conscious, and trust me this can get annoying.  I really want a specific thing to eat and the first thing he says is "are you really sure about that"?

He's really helping me out by being home in time to have dinner with me every night, so that we prepare a healthy dinner together. We never eat out anymore, in less we specifically plan it ahead of time and look at the menus online so I can decide what to eat.  I have also joined a triathlon training club which I am really enjoying and having fun attending training sessions.  He is tracking my weight and measurements as much as I am and providing tons of encouragement, seeing as he went through the same thing a couple of years ago and lost 60 pounds with me behind him the whole way.

We have also sat down and talked about it and chosen some rewards for me when I achieve milestones.  My weight started at 187.2 and the milestones are set at 180, 170, 160, 150, and 140 which is my ultimate goal.  None of them are food related which helps.  There is a book I want that I will get to go out and buy this weekend, the next one is a small spa package, then new lingerie, then a day in Banf, Alberta, followed by booking our month long backpacking trip to Europe for April 2009 once I achieve my final goal.

I found that I had to mentally flip a switch in my brain, it just got the point where I had been trying to diet on and off for three years, and have gotten absolutely nowhere.  I did get my weight to stablize in the high 180s, which is a BMI of about 28 for me. I was feeling disgusted with myself.  So I went out and bought a really nice leather covered notebook and together we wrote down my weight and current measurements, then set a bunch of goals for me to achieve.  I track my eating habits every single day in there and give myself a pat on teh back for everyday that I avoid going out for some kind of pub lunch with the people I work with.

I'm 26.  I'll be 27.  and I have battled this very issue for the past 12 years that i've been aware that I was overweight and should do something to lose weight.  It wasn't until I logged on to this site and began reading all that I could to learn all that I could about this. 

I honestly didn't have any clue about how important the all mighty calorie was and how it affected me until I found Calorie Count.com

Go into the ADVISE tool and begin reading. 

Also - with food - (i'm an emotional overeater and it takes a LOT of will power when I get the urge to munch - to not munch!) if you think you're hungry, try drinking a full 8-16 oz of water first - wait 10-15 min, if you're still hungry after that - then eat. 

One thing that has really saved my bum is the South Beach Living on the go Tide Me Over packets - mix with a bottle of water and WOOHOO!  It has 30 cals, 3g protein and 5g fiber and helps you feel full when you get thos 2:30-3pm snack cravings.  I have just mixed a packet with 24oz of water in my waterbottle and I love it.  I get the Natural Tropical Breeze - very nice!!!

Commitment takes practice.  You'll get better at it.  Next week just focus on eating a healthy lunch that makes you feel good.  Once you are doing better at that you can focus on dinner - then your work out. 

 

Hi...Just stop beating yourself up about the way you look and remind yourself you are definitely worthwhile in every way. 

Good luck!

 

Carol

I had the same problem as you, and I completely understand. It led to unnecessary binge eating. Instead now even if I feel ugly, I try to wake up every day a little bit earlier to give myself some time to look nice. Put on a bit of make-up or new earrings or a headband, etc.

If my stomach is huge and bloated and I seriously look pregnant (which happens to me a lot), if so, I will put on a bigger shirt but slim pants or shorts, and I'll look in the mirror and realize that no one could ever tell--- and that I can actually look pretty good! 

It sounds so cliche, but I think you do have to feel good about yourself to have motivation, otherwise it's so easy to fall into eating badly. I try to tell myself that I have a responsibility to my body to feed it right and keep it healthy. When I eat badly, I feel like my body HATES me, and that thought sticks in my mind.

Hope that helps. You can do this! 

this is probably going to annoy you, as it did I when I first was presented the idea.

Get up early and work out.

I  am NOT a morning person nor do I love the idea of sweating it out at the gym.  However, after making myself get up and go to the gym for 2 weeks straight in the morning, I found that I was making smarter food choices throughout the day (personally I started comparing what I was eating/contimplating eating with how much work that I had done to burn off the equivalent, and always decided not to eat the bad foods), and secondly IT MADE ME ACTUALLY GO TO THE GYM!  If I give myself enough time to talk myself out of going to the gym after work, I will.

TIPS:

Lay out your entire work out outfit the evening before (and invest in cute outfits so that you'll want to wear them)

Get a work out buddy with similar goals.  I talked my neighbor into being my buddy, and we found that when you have someone waiting outside for you at 5:30 (or whatever time) you'll just get up so that  you're not making them late or wait.

Set your alarm (I use my cell phone) far enough away from your bed that you have to get up to turn it off

As soon as you hear your alarm (even if you can't talk yourself into going to the gym) at least talk yourself into going to the bathroom right away.  I find that in the time it takes to walk to and use the restroom, I decide that I'm already awake and it's easier to talk myself into getting my butt to the gym

Good luck, I will asure you that making this change in your daily schedule will do nothing but help.  Feel free to reach out for any advice!

Original Post by daughtry_jovi_girl:

Why can't I commit to myself? Why can't I use my disgust as motivation to get my butt moving and get good food into my body? Why can't I convince myself that I am worth it?

Well, damn it, I don't know!  If I knew, I'd do it for myself.  UGH.  Sorry, jovi, just jumping on the band wagon of self pity here. 

Original Post by tmck99:

Commitment takes practice.  You'll get better at it.  Next week just focus on eating a healthy lunch that makes you feel good.  Once you are doing better at that you can focus on dinner - then your work out. 

 

 I agree 1000%. You have to take baby steps. I did just about the same. 1st I worked on eating right for a week, and then I started to walk a mile, and then going to 2 miles adding. I didn't hang around the scales, because I didn't want the scales to trip me up. It's all about baby steps, and with those baby steps I notice my butt wasn't filling out my jeans, and then I notice I had to move to a new belt hole, and then I notice.. My neck.. So baby steps, just take baby steps and master them one at a time. After I notice my neck, the next step was getting into the gym. I love it...

Do you like to dance? Well if you do.. Find a hour to party and rock out with yourself.. You won't believe the calories you'll burn having a great time. Focus on small changes. All of those small changes will add up to one big change.. :)

You know what helps me? I have a friend that i am working out with, and I just have him use negative reinforcement. When I think I look like a fatty, and I say something about it to someone else, they just say things like "no. You look great." And even though I'll grab a handfull of fat and say, "what is this then?", they still maintain I look great. People just don't like saying anything negative about weight to other people, especially girls. I just told my male workout buddy to tell me I need to stick to my diet and lose weight, or grab the flab on my stomach, or tell me the areas I need to work on. (He only does this because I asked him to.) But it's good to have someone calling you a fatty every day, because when I say it to myself, it has a lot less conviction. I have everybody else to lie and tell me how amazing I look, so it's good for someone to say the things I need to hear. Sometimes he is a little harsh, but I definately don't get offended because obviously I am trying to fix these things. It's not like I am just sitting around and eating all day. I am making a conscious effort to look good and he tells me the areas I need to work on. I like it because he notices the things that I wouldn't. I know this sounds harsh from an outsider's perspective, but I think it works for me.

WARNING: Not for everybody. If you have low self esteem in the slightest, I don't think this is for you. Not everybody can handle harsh criticism. I just know that I can stand to lose weight and am perfectly ok with it. Also the person who is telling me these things is about 340 lbs, so I definately don't take his criticism personally.

Wow. I can relate to you on every level.  I used to be 115 and after moving in with my parents I am know a lovely 145. Yes, 30 pounds in less then 3 months. I don't know what happened to me. I used to be such a health freak who watched my calories like a hawk and then its like I just decided not to care. I would dig into the ice cream, eat cookies, go through the drive through after work.  A couple of times I would go through several drive thrus. I didn't know what was wrong with me. It was like I wasn't conscious when I was eating all that food. And it would always be the "last time" Don't ever say that because if you mess up the next day then it just makes it harder, at least for me. There will never be a last time because you will have another cookie one day. Hopefully you will be able to just make it one. Well to help myself I joined a gym and have someone who I am accountable to. Also, I am isolating myself and i hate it. I want friends and I want to hang out. I am 19 for christs sake. So just remember you are not alone and you can do this. Thats all I can tell you. I can't give you much advice because I am barely able to just help myself at the moment. But good luck!!!

I had to learn to kick myself in the booty because everytime I thought I found someone to help me stay motivated, they would quit on me. Like, I found a workout buddy and that person decided after only a few days that he was too tired/ sore/ etc. to work out. I decided that I could depend on myself and just found thing to help me along. I have issues with wanting to work out, especially after work. I set my alarm on my cell phone for early in the morning and just get up and do it. I usually wake up about halfway through my workout, LOL. The night before, I will plan what I'm going to have for breakfast and I stick with it. Once I have a full stomach, I don't have room for the bad stuff. I like variety and love to eat and so I eat at least 6 times a day, but I all healthy meals. Then, if I do good throughout the day, I will make myself a dessert at night. It gives me something to look forward to. It's always a low cal sugar free and mainly fat free dessert, but I trick myself into thinking that I'm getting something bad, LOL. If I do want something that I shouldn't have, first I think about how my hour or so of working out will be going down the drain. That usually stops me. Then if I want it that bad, I will search and find a new way to make it so it's better for me. Seeing results is another motivating factor for me. Each time I lose 1/2 pound or a part of my body looks different, I get excited and that helps. i like to know that I'm getting somewhere.

Be your own best friend! Your best friend would be honest with you but still do it in a loving way. Your best friend wouldn't point out your flaws each time you pass the mirror so don't do that to yourself.

The honesty will motivate you and the loving way will give you the encouragement you need.

Easier said than done I know. I've been trying to grip this concept/skill for a year now.

Good luck to you!!!

Oh god... I've been there.  I've totally been there!

Thanks for your responses everyone...I have been trying to do better, but today was just a train wreck....I had a good breakfast, and a pretty good lunch, but work was just so stressfull today that when I got home I just totally went nuts and ate pretty much everything in sight. I don't even know when I stoped being hungry. Plus I have just been feeling down right unattractive lately. I honestly feel like I could make Frankensteins monster scream in terror! Hopefully I will start feeling better about myself soon, cause I really don't like this!