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Maybe now is time to draw a line under the past and start thinking about the future instead.  Please don't be depressed or hate yourself.  It's not 'you' that's the problem, you're exactly the same person but just with some extra body-fat.... Quite a different thing

Losing weight is as much about eating better as it is about eating less.  You won't starve if you're losing weight safely.  Your children can benefit from a healthy lifestyle as well.  Not only will their mum be healthier and happier but, if they learn how to choose better foods and be more active, they'll be less at risk of being overweight themselves in years to come.

How about a clean sweep of the house?  Go through the cupboards, fridge and freezer and remove any foods that you don't want to find yourself 'eating all the time'.  If you need to save a few biscuits & sweets for the children, consign them to a box that you keep on a high shelf well away from the other food.  'Out of sight, out of mind'

Next step... restock the house with healthier foods... vegetables, fruit, wholegrain foods, lean meat/fish, low-fat dairy products....  If all you do in the first instance is make sure you get 5-a-day fruit and vegetables I think you'd feel more positive and start to see a difference.

Finally... movement.  Any kind of activity will help you lose weight a little quicker.  Start with walking... a brisk walk for half an hour a day (take the children with you perhaps) is all you need to get you off the mark.

Good luck

gi-jane makes some really good suggestions.  Take baby steps.  I used to think similar at times.  I started to not be in pictures and then i realized I wasn't in any of those pictures that we will look at in the years to come to help us remember the lives we have lead and things we have done.  I didn't like that.  I force myself to be a part of those pictures with family now...and it's getting better. 

I have a lot to lose to and it's overwhelming to see how much...Don't put too much pressure on yourself to lose a bunch by a certain date.....Once you start eating better quality food you will feel better....I did...even before I lost a pound.  Just start.

Losing weight isn't easy for most of us...but it's possible.  I even thought it wasn't possible until I started to lose some.  Each day gets better after you make some changes in the quality of food you eat and getting to know how many calories you need to be healthy and lose fat.  Like they say...take it one day at a time. 

Good Luck and be good to yourself.

It makes me so sad to see you say that you hate yourself. What for? A bit of chubbiness. Okay, not ideal for your health, whatever, but in a world full of genocide and abuse and cruelty, hating yourself for eating a little too much seems unduly harsh!

Reminds me of a line in SATC (if you ever watch that) - Carrie's being harsh about herself, and Miranda turns round and says "Hey, that's my friend you're talking about there!"

That's your kids mom you're talking about there - you know, those little people you love more than anything? The person THEY love more than anything, aka YOU, is worthy of respect, including for her emotional needs and her legitimate needs for comfort and to feel happy, and worthy of love for being a decent human being.

Look after yourself - gi-jane's made some great points, this is just a case of trial and error until you work out the foods and schedules and so on that will let you have the figure you want.

The only "advice" I'd personally add is, don't believe there's a one-size-fits all solution, and if someone tells you something to try and you find it doesn't work, don't use it even when it backfires on you - there are too many vested interests, or merely misguided well-meaning folk, not just here but everywhere, who try to tell you the definitive way to lose weight & maintain.

(edit to add) We're all different and the hardest thing sometimes is to get back on the horse when something that seemed effective, and came highly recommended, fails us.

Good luck - not sure if I'll be posting much, but hope to seeya round!

It is an old saying but so true:  Take on day at a time.  Slow down enjoy something from everyday.  Get healthy first mentally and phyically, than concentrate on losing.  Don't go on the scale for atleast 3 weeks!  Do something for yourself EVERYDAY: a walk, read a magazine article or book, call an old friend, an acitivity or craft.  No matter how small a bath!  Focus on stuff to do with your kids even just talking to them and being with them.  Slowly, add some type of excersing and slowly start eating healthy and I promise you attitude will change and everything else will also start to change for the better.  And most importantly don't stop talking on CC!  I swear by it, it gets me going in the right direction so many times when I am blue.  Hang in there!

You need to find something that motivates you.  Look at an old pic of you thinner, and keep telling yourself that you can be there again.  Think of it fondly, not with disgust.  Every pound is a step closer.  Cut out things that you don't need (replace soda with lemon water, replace mayonnaise with mustard).  Find ways to easily cut calories without completely changing your habits and it will be easier.  Don't buy unhealthy foods, you'll be doing your whole family a favor.  If you change the habits of your children, you can teach them to be healthy adults and they may never have to go through what you are going through.  That might be your motivator...to make them healthier.  Keep yourself busy.  Find something to do that you cannot eat while doing.  I eat when I'm bored or upset...so I clean my house instead.  You can make photo albums or scrapbooks for your children.  Take up photography and take walks to take photos.  You'd be surprised how energized you feel after exercising. 

hunny, it sounds like you may be suffering from some depression from lack of results.

god, i have been there...

just remember that YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL no matter what you weigh!

you may not be losing weight because you're stressing about it.. like thinking about it too much?

try just staying really busy and doing a lot of fun activities.. it helps your endorphin and serotonin levels stay higher, and therefore gives you more engergy and helps you lose weight easier.

also remember that it takes more calories to laugh and smile than to just sit and be sad... 

so get out there and laugh girl!

Hi caseykathryn--please don't get depressed. Yes summer is coming but it isn't here yet. Losing weight is very difficult but once get the hang of it, it is pretty easy. I had to learn not to want, to eat the taste of fat, and sugar. You can eat plenty of veggies sauteed in Olive Oil instead of butter that will cut down by about 5-8 lbs within 2-3 weeks. Also look for the inches instead of the scale weight. I hate the scale I can wear a pair of size 14 pants (I use to wear a size 20) but the scale says I am obese.....also do you like nuts of any kind??? Eat them it is incredible how many calories they have but you never gain the weight. Yesterday I ate 1400 calories in nuts and dates, got on the scale this morning and wala....I had lost weight. I eat plan lettuce (my favorites are arugula, bibb, and romaine), with a little olive oil and red wine vinegar. But honey you can add, chicken, some low fat cheese, other veggies you like, and a low fat dressing....eat the things you like to eat that are healthy, that is how I started.  If it takes a while to loose the weight don't give up you must keep trying so this year you won't make that bikini but who knows what next year will bring. I didn't loose a significant amount of weight until August of last year. My gastronologist made me strip naked and wholey cow, I had lost 20 lbs. So I say all this to say this.....don't give up, don't get depressed, keep trying, and of course try walking around for about 30 minutes 3-4 days a week and see what happens, I bet you drop some weight....oh yes and don't forget water, water, water, and more water.  

ALWAYS remember.....God does not make mistakes!  You are beautiful!  Get dressed, do your hair and make up and get outside!  I really always feel better if I get dressed for the day, even if I don't go anywhere.....don't sit and lay around all day is sweats....I swear it can depress anyone.  But if you get dressed and walk outside if nothing else....I promise by the time you come home you WILL feel better.

Everyone has made great points.  First thing I would suggest is going to your doctor to make sure you aren't suffering from any medical conditions or depression that needs treatment, and also as they can put you on some great weight loss aids that currently exist.  Xenical etc can be a great aid to help you lose weight quite quickly , in conjunction with you changing your eating habits and doing some exercise (remember anything more than you currently do is good, you don't have to go and spend hours at the gym).

The doctor can help you with a nutrionist to set out a goal and the plan on how to achieve that goal.

You need to stop beating yourself up, accept that where you are weight wise is yesterdays headline, todays is about what you are going to do to change tomorrow.

It won't be easy, it won't be instant but done properly it won't be that hard and will happen steadily.

Hello

I'm totally with you on the self loathing thing

Since I can't even get myself out of it I cant really give you advice...but perhaps its just good to know theres someone else out there like yourself?

read journal to understand why I hate myself

First of all, forgive yourself for gaining the pounds. I too, am classified as severly obese. The medical professionals think classifications like "morbid or severly obese" will shock people into loosing weight. Most times it has the opposite affect. The one thing I know for sure is if you are fat, you know it. You look in the mirror everyday. Now, hating yourself will not get one pound off. I hated myself and ached with pain for the last ten years because of the nearly two hundred pounds I needed to loose. At the end of last year, I decided I was going to stop hurting and hating myself, do something to change it. I was like what you and others have described, I ate and ate, and then would feel awful for a while, then repeat the cycle. You must begin with your thinking. You can not be bummed about the summer coming and you can not where a bathing suit. Your motivation for loosing weight has to be health and health only. Looking good in clothes, enjoying your kids at the beach are just the by products of living a healthy lifestyle. Change your lifestyle, one step at a time. Begin with drinking enough water daily, then move onto moving- start walking for as long as you can. Next move to your eating with the help of a nutritionist. A nutritionist can customize a meal plan for you with your goals in mind. I am a woman who weighed 345 pounds at the end of 2008, I have lost 40 pounds so far, and I feel wonderful. I know what it feels like to see yourself as a failure. I wondered how I could have success in other areas of life, but be so defeated in my own body. I understand your pain. I finally got the place where, I accepted the truth-I AM WORTH WHATEVER RESOURCE HAS TO USED TO BE HEALTHY- I AM WORTH IT TO MYSELF! Do this for yourself, not your kids or your spouse. Please keep posting, I would love to know your progress.

I hope someone posts Lovebeing's response in those e-mails we get!  That was soooo well put!  Thank you got sharing and congrat's on all your success!  You are an inspiration for all of us!

If you hate yourself when you're fat you'll still hate yourself when you're skinny. Losing weight doesn't "solve" any emotional issues, it just makes your pants size smaller. Work on your self esteem now so you don't get disappointed later. :)