Name Change Opinions
I have been toying with the idea of changing my first name. I have wanted to change it since I was a little kid, but everyone said I was too young. Now the tell me I'm too old.... (26).
Last summer I was thinking about it all the time, and I promised myself if I still wanted to in a year I'd seriously consider doing it. It's been a year, and I'm still thinking about it...
People have made jokes about my name all my life, and I'm tired of it. Nobody can spell it either, which is annoying. I feel like my name holds me back professionally and that it would be hard for someone to take me seriously. I'm not going to say what it is, but it's a "low class" sort of trashy name. I hate even introducing myself and saying it out loud because it embarasses me. I hate answering the phone at work and having to say my name, and I won't wear my nametag. I've been known to tell strangers fake names.
At times I feel very strongly that I do want to change it, and at other times I feel really silly about the whole thing. Does anyone have experience with this or know someone who has done it? I'm looking for some advice or experiences please.
When I was at school in Ontario, no one could pronounce my name as its English. My name is Gemma and the teachers would always say it with a hard g sound instead of a soft j. Sooo embarrassing when you're 7 years old. I got so fed up I unofficially changed it to Kathryn. When we moved back to England though, I was Gemma all over again 
Me and my daughter moved to Wales, a couple of years ago, she started using her middle name coz she hated her first! Took a while to get used to lol
IMHO if you absolutely hate your name, then go for it. Esp as you've been thinking about it for a long time. And if you don't like your new name, you can always change it again. Good luck!
I had a good friend whose mother gave her the unfortunate name of "Elsie". (what was she thinking? Everyone associates it with Elsie the cow) and she was teased her whole life. When she was in her mid 20's she changed it to Elise and it fit her so much better. It gave her new self-confidence.
So I suggest, if it bothers you so much that you don't even want to say it out loud or proclaim it on your name tag, change it!
If you dislike your name that much, change it. Because you specifically mentioned it might hold you back professionally, I'd say this was a good enough reason to give people if you had to explain it, even if the true reasons are much deeper.
My name, both first and last, is spelled very differently. It is an easy name except it is spelled completely different. When people see it they mispronounce it. I get called and labelled male. I receive mailings and sales calls to Mr. Xxxx Xxxx. I have to be very careful to not give either my first or last name anywhere on the internet, because it would be so easy to find me because of the spelling.
If my name caused me actually discomfort instead of just inconvenience, I'd change it. It really doesn't cost very much to change your name. The courts are generally pretty receptive to name changes for personal reasons such as yours.
Do it and don't wait much longer. It sounds like you'll be much happier.
I say change it. It doesn't sound like you are wavering between wanting to change it and not wanting to change it (in which case I would be more cautious). You are wavering between wanting to change it and feeling silly about your desire to change it. It sounds like you would be much happier if you went ahead and did it.
I agree with everyone else. If you hate your name, change it. Or use your middle name if that's any better. Guys do that all the time. Don't go through the rest of your life being embarrassed by it-you've gone long enough.
do it do it...my first name is...hippish (think along the lines of sunshine, rainbow...my name would fit right in)...I use my middle name which does give off a ditzy stripper connotation, but thats ok :)
personally, I dont even want to wait to get married to ditch my last name (being overweight...and it rhymes with "pudge")...SO wont let me though..evil evil man..haha
My son is dating a girl who is 17. Her name is Martha. She used to hate her name but has "gotten used to it". When my son asked for her name she told him, Martha, and he said, "No, really, what is it?" My youngest son calls her Marsa. Is it possible to change your name just a little like that?
I know an Audra and everyone always calls her Audrey or Andrea. She hates it.
Agreed with everybody else. I've had several business associates who either use their middle name as a first or initialize their name (i.e. JP instead of Jean Paul). If you don't want to do the prior then definitely - it's your life - change your name! :-)
D.
Thanks for the support. Does anyone know how you would start this process? I'm getting married in six months and thought if I'm going to do it that would be the time since I'm changing my last name anyway. Is it possible to do it simultaneously?
To change your name after marriage, you just take the marriage certificate and fill out a few forms. The only fee you might incur would be at the bureau of motor vehicles because you have to get a new license.
To change your first name you'll probably have to petition the court. It is a form you can probably fill out yourself. In Ohio, it is a fairly simple process. You fill out the form. You submit it to the court with a fee. They do a background check to make sure you're not changing it to get out of debts or for other nefarious reasons. You go in front of the judge and he/she asks why. You say you hate your name (in a nice way), that you've always wanted to change your name and that it would help you in your career. The judge almost always approves the change.
I'd get the paperwork going as soon as possible so that you can do everything at one time. Do some internet research on name changes in your state to see what the process is. It really isn't very hard.
Best to contact a lawyer and ask a couple of questions.
When I was 13 I chaged my last name I just became addament and refused to go by my previouse surname until I was 18 when I got it changed officially, my birthday is august the 1st and I did this on the 3rd (The first monday).
The name was actually my mothers maiden name and she switched at the same time and to this day we don't regret it. This decision did stem through issues with my dad though.
My point is its your name its the first thing you introduce yourself its your identity so if you don't like it change it. At the time when we were in the office getting our names changed I was seriously asked do you want to change your first name too. I just heard my mum sort of hold her breath in anticipation and then give this relifed sigh when i said no I have never even thought about that.
You don't mention your real name but sometimes I think parents can be really irresponsibles naming there child by fashion or brand and then it goes out of date or worse they grow up and have to apply to a job with a name like bunny kins, I mean come on!
I don't think you are to old. My mother changed her name in her mid 50's and now everyone calls her by her new name. Its not as hard for me because she is still mom :) Her name brought her much pain and sadness from her childhood and she decided to change it. I think it was the right choice. Changing your name is your decision and if you feel strongly you should go ahead with it no matter what everyone else thinks. Those who love you will understand.
Thanks for the input everyone.
I made a pros and cons list. There were many things on the pro side and only a few on the con side--being that other people might not like it. Pft. If that's the only reason I can come up with not to do it that's silly. They'll get over it. It's not like anybody is going to disown me for changing my name.
One thing you don't mention is if you already use your desired name among friends and acquaintances. My husband dislikes his first name and due to it being so common, started going by his last name at work. So, a whole nationwide company knows him by his last name-it might as well be his first name.
I feel badly about calling him by his first name but that's how he introduced himself to me and didn't tell me his feelings for years. I'm calling him "Babe" now.
No, I haven't adopted another name yet. I'm not sure what I would want to change it to, and I honestly feel like some kind of phony using another name before I actually changed it or was 100% sure that I was going to.
While you sound like you're really ready to chuck your present name finding a new name you'd be comfortable with is a huge priority. And it's best not to be hasty. My silly exwife changed her middle name and then a couple years later changed the spelling. Oops!
The actual procedure for a legal name change depends on where you live. Most places make it pretty easy these days. Where I live (Alberta, Canada), you can call yourself pretty much whatever you want as long as it's not fraudulent, so a legal name change is only necessary to straighten out ID and stuff. That's how I get away with calling myself Steve when my legal name is Stephen and it's my middle name anyway...
So who do you want to be?
