Near desparation

To make things a bit easier to understand: im bulimic and sort of trying to recover but the roads too damn long and i hate the position im in right now.

Ive been doing a low carb diet the past week so i can eventually get controll over my cravings and bingeings while finally eating healthy.

But that also mean i have to eat in order to do that and in order to lose weight. This is the first day i actually write down what i eat and its calories and its over 1000. It feels like i havent been eating this much in ages. And all i can think about is food food food. I even dream about it!

And im so so scared i'll gain weight. I feel much better now im eating lots of fish and i got lots more energy but once i gain weight im pretty sure i'll just mess it all up and fall back in the old pattern i used to be.

Please goodness. Dont let me gain any. Let me lose some and feel healthy and happy</3

Im near desperation and purging?

Im sorry for my post but thanks for sharing anyway!

I sent you a private message.

Hi!

When I was an inpatient, there was a magic rule for bulimics -thing u restrict, thing u would crave- ...I saw "vegetarians" craving meat like hell in there! b careful and do not be totally strict while cutting off food, allow urself for some bread daily...actually like 3 portions of cereals or 5..dunno....u wanna loose or gain??

I believe u may need extra help..perhaps psycol/psychiatrist/nutritionist. Believe me, there are ways to control that anxiety towards food! pills are really helpful n also therapy is gr8

do not GIVE UP! U CAN DO IT

:)

Hi there

Hang in there - I was bulimic for approximately 15 years and it was soul destroying.  I was an outpatient and finally, in desperation, joined OA (Overeaters Anon) - it was the best move I made.  I eventually became so sick and tired of myself and my pathetic excuses every week that I decided to just quit.  It has not been easy and there were many days when I slipped up but by being kind to myself and forgiving my slip ups, it became easier and easier and it is now something I very very rarely think about.

Don't give up - your life is worth so much more.

Thanks for the replys!

Ive been out of town again and that sure makes me feel betters  but once i get home i just have a relapse so im curious about what the rest of the summers going to look like.

Jenief, i dont know if they got an OA in the netherlands but i do some sort of self help progam wich i might join. Also, i already made some changes: i can share my story now and talk about it with people and i already am trying to  change my diet even though i feel like giving up most of the time. It are small changes and i wish to make them bigger. Also, im very proud of you! If i have to live for 15 years like this i wouldnt be alive right now haha so lots of respect for you!

and anaid i reconize  what you say, after restricting myself so much i start bingeing and but i cant escape that cycle. And thanks for your motivation!

x

You are so welcome.  Take one step and one day at a time.  Forget yesterday and don't think of tomorrow.  Just do your best today.