Need Advice

Hi everyone,

I need some good advice about healthy weight gain.  I'm 20 years old, 5' 4 and am currently at 85 pounds.  The most I have ever weighed was in high school, it was about 112, so I have never been a big person--I have a very small frame. 

I'm not really sure what caused me to lose the weight but it happened when I went to college.  I don't have an eating disorder, I LOVE food, perhaps too much.  But, I do tend to count calories, and especially fat.  I have this fear of fat I guess you could say.  However, I do want to gain weight because I am tired of hearing my family and friends complain that I am too thin, as well as hearing comments from strangers--it's not fair!  So what do I do?

I have tried lifting weights because I really want to gain muscle but that hasn't worked very well.  Should I be concerned with exercising?  I know I shouldn't engage in any cardiovascular exercise, but I don't want to gain fat--I want to gain lean muscle.  So should I be worried about what I am eating or should I just eat whatever I want?  My parents say I shouldn't be concerned with what I am eating I just need to eat more, but I disagree.  I don't want to become a flabby blob!  Any advice?

Also, I have IBS and gastro-intestinal reflux so there are a lot of foods that I have to avoid, and is also a reason I think that I have trouble gaining.  My GI doctor has sent me to a nutritionist but it didn't help.

Thanks for taking the time to read!

Trust me, it all seems like a bunch of **** sometimes, especially if you feel fine, and you eat, and you can do things like run or lift trays or whatever, but it boilds down to medical facts and if we are going to be ignorant of them then what is the point in even trying.

 

Yoghurt is right, it is a medical FACT that there are serious health risks to being as under weight as you are, and just because you are feeling okay now does not mean these medical facts do not apply to you.

In other words, even naturally slim girls who do not starve themselves will face the health risks, even though they are NATURALLY thin without trying.

Unless you believe your current weight has health risks long term, and unless you genuinely think that there are positive health benefits in gaining weight, then why bother?

There's not much I can add, really, that hasn't been said. If you ask for advice then turn it away, not seeming to recognise the danger of what you're doing or how your health can be affected in the future, then what is the point of asking? Even if you didn't reach your weight via restriction you're still at risk of osteoporosis, losing your period if you haven't already - which leads to infertility - a weak immune system and more, and even if you're "okay" now it can catch up to you fast.

PersonalTrainer, I would appreciate it if you could send me the work out routine you described, I would be interested in trying it. 

And as for all the comments about me not wanting to gain weight, I will admit that I am scared to do it but I am being so defensive because you are all treating me like I am aneroxic and ignorant.  I don't appreciate it, I came here for support not criticism.

Again. I am not treating you like an anorexic but you do seem to be ignoring how much danger your body is in at the weight it is. Even if you're healthy now it doesn't mean you will be in the future, even the near future.

She's right, and honestly, you NEED to face your fear of gaining weight or there will be consequences...I think we all know that. At first I was really hesitant about it, as a recovering anorexic (not saying that you're anorexic), I noticed my hair was thinning & my nails and skin were very dry. This prompted me to want change.

Think about it, would you rather be at a healthier weight with a little more curves, and a MUCH healthier body & immune system? Or would you rather be stuck in the rut you're in and risk dangerous health issues? Don't wait too long, make your decision, and seriously give it some thought. Have you talked to a doctor? Although there is some awesome advice on this board, especially from lalabanana, I've noticed. If you'd feel more comfortable getting a gaining meal plan from a nutritionist then that's what you need to do, and fast. Oh, and working out is probably the last thing you wanna worry about right now...ESPECIALLY cardio. Keep it to a bare minimum...or none at all.

 

That is what being naturally thin means, that you usually have a smaller frame, and some times a higher metabolism then the average women, and therefore your faster metabolism needs MORE calories then the AVERAGE metabolism in order for you to reach a healthy weight.

Although, there are some people who just have a small frame with a normal metabolism, who are at low weights because they just don’t eat enough ( unintentionally, due to poor appetite or just not knowing how much they need to eat)

If you are one of these people, with a small frame and a normal metabolism then if you gained to a healthier BMI of 18.5, then you would be able to maintain your weight on a NORMAL AMOUNT of calories.

The problem I see, is that you do not recognize or believe that your current BMI of 14 is unhealthy for your body

You sound like you think that just because you eat normally, that your body is perfectly healthy at that weight.

The POINT we are all making is, is that a BMI of 14 cannot be medically healthy for ANY BODY, even if they eat a NORMAL AMOUNT.

I encourage you to have a think about all this, and to go to GOOGLE or use the facts on this site to research the reasons why having such a low BMI puts you at risks of many health problems in the future.

If you read the medical facts that explain why a BMI of 14 is unhealthy and puts you at risk of health problems, do you think you would believe them?

It just sounded to me like you have already made up your mind that your current weight is healthy enough for you to maintain, and refuse to accept that you may be wrong

I WILL SEND YOU THE EXERCISES! They don’t burn many calories, other wise I would not send them to an under weight person, the exercises are only for toning and have virtually no cardio component to them.

Doing the exercises WILL make you feel much better about yourself IF you decide to gain weight, which I hope you do.

PLEASE SEND me a private MSG if you have any other concerns about weight gain!

You have never been more then 112 lbs so gaining weight will be a HUGE change and challenge for you, and you may need to be talked through it, as it may not feel normal or natural to you at first!

I have been very under weight before too, and even though I felt “ healthy” at the time, I felt DID notice a difference when I gained a little weight, and I know what it is like to go through the process of gaining weight!

So, if you don’t feel comfortable expressing yourself here on the forums in front of other people, then please feel free to MSG me if you want to chat about anything, I won’t judge you and I just want to help you get your body healthier.

You are not doing anything wrong, you ARE eating a normal amount, your body just needs a little bit of help and I want you to understand why, so you can eventually realize that it is not pointless for you to gain weight.

cole37 - no one has said that you are anorexic, I think we all recognize that you are so under weight due to genetics and not eating enough for your body type; as I said, some body types need more calories then other people, and your small framed body type needs more calories then the average women to keep y our body healthy

no one is treating you like an anorexic, that is simply you being defensive and jumping to conclusions that that is what we are all doing. I just dont understand how someone who says they really want to gain can be scared of gaining. I can definitely understand why people with anorexia or bulimia get incredibly fearful for the weight gain but if you are the one who said they wanted this, then why all the fear? Again, if you were to ask most professional opinions, they would agree that your fear of weight gain when you really need it is a sign of disordered thinking. When it comes down to it, though, you are either going to do it or you arent but if you have no intentions of listening to any of us, then why did you come here in the first place?

Yoghurt not all fear of weight gain is related to an eating disorder.

It is normal for some one that has been tiny their whole lives to feel weird and even scared of gaining weight!

For a small person to gain to a healthy BMI for the first time in their life, it will be facing the unknown and this is scary for any one, weather they have an eating disorder or not.

This girl has never been over 112 in her whole life at 5 feet 4, so suddenly gaining to a BMI of 20 is not just going to be an easy thing she can just do without thinking much about it.

I know it is more common to associate the fear of weight gain with an eating disorder but it can still be a challenge even for people who do not have an eating disorder.

It would be hard for some one who is obese to lose weight to a healthy BMI, and people who have always been under weight will also face their own challenges.

While I do very much agree with your last point, Personaltrainer, most people don't also have a fear of fat.

HI Cole37..you mentioned having IBS and GERD...i have read several posts here where people say they have that and i can't help but wonder if those are side effects of being underweight...i get both too.  Someone mentioned the medical side effects of being underweight for along time. I know about osteoporosis..because i have it.  What are the others...im kind of freaked out about it now?!  I have found that eating healthy fats is easier than saturated fats...i have no problems scarfing down an avacado or eating salmon skin....and other fatty fish...olive oil etc.  Its the saturated fats that make me hesitate...full fat dairy, fatty meat...it just seems so unhealthy to me. I love flax oil though and will pour it on my toast...it's great for your skin!  Olive oil helps reduce your risk for breast cancer too...another good reason to pour it on your veggies!

Digestive symptoms are VERY common in underweight people. Either as a cause or as an effect. I had IBS prior to my anorexia developing but it has worsened due to my weight going down. It can also lead to issues like gastroparesis, or delayed gastric emptying.

personaltrainer, i was suggesting disordered thinking not necessarily disordered eating...they are different but I can see where you could mistake them for the same. sorry for the confusion! 

i suspose it is natural to be afraid of fats in this day and age. but even if you don't feel deprived your body probably is. i don;t really totally believe this bmi thing because everyones body is different and with that there is the logic that everyones body requires a different set of numbers of carlories to function. but to play it safe it is worth just putting on the weight just to avoid all the helath risks if not anything else. and if you are naturally thin you probably need 3000 to gain.