need advice on what to do now, tomorrow and the days to come after that

To make my story very short, a friend of mine passed away last week. I dont want to blame my eating habits on this, but since then i've been bingeing and grazing thorugh +5000 calories a day for 7 days now. I havent had a normal meal since. Everything has been pastry, cakes, cookies, ice cream, lots of chocolate, cereals and all the rest.

I am bloated, my stomach looks like im 7 months pregnant, my legs look like german saussages and fat is overflowing my face. Ive tried to stop, but everytime I make up my mind, that tomorow is a new day, I'll binge again. In fact, Im having a toblerone as im typing this, can you believe it? today has been by far the worst day, where ive consumed around 9000 calories on junk.

I need help and advice. What should I do as of tomorow? Please, I need my motivation back, and I would like to lose those 5 kilos ive gained.

Thank you all very much 

Hey, I'm sorry to hear about your friend!  My Grandma also passed away early sunday morning, so I can sympathize.  I had a short "I don't care I want to eat all this ice cream BLAHHH!" but I'm tryyyyying to go back to normal.  In the long run, I know that pigging out will only make me feel worse-- in fact, that's what the last couple days have been like.  Not eating TOOOOO much, but definitely more than I should, and that just added to my frustration.  I don't really know how to help you out, but just wanted to give you some support.  You can do it!

I'm really sorry about your friend.

My boyfriend put on about a stone or so when his dad died. I think I lost a similar amount. Eating is very tied to our emotions.

I worry that if you started a proper weightloss mission right now it would either be a failure as you have too much stress, or you would obsessively lose, which is not that great for you either. Good clean food and lots of water will probably make you feel better though, mentally as well as physically. I would... go out and deliberately buy a load of fruit and veg, and not have any cake etc in the house, throw or give it away if necessary, and eat healthy whenever you are hungry, and I would stay away from calorie counting for a bit. Getting into little routines, whether work or cooking or exercising etc, I found quite helpful. But I would really try not to get selfcritical about your weight if you can, cause you are going through a lot, and it's a time when guilt and selfcritical feelings can get overwhelming. When you are doing ok you can reassess whether you need to lose weight, how much, how to go about it, etc.

Look after your head first. This stuff is not easy.