Need an answer to this question quickly...

Hey guys,

A friend of mine at my school was killed yesterday morning and her visitation is tonight. The funeral is Wednesday morning.

I plan on attending both, but I was just wondering -- what is appropriate to bring? Flowers? A card? Both?

And should I bring them to the visitation or to the funeral?

Thanks for your timely replies.

Whatever you bring, bring it to the visitation..the family will have too much on their minds at the funeral

Bring both if you feel like you want to...but one or the other would also be appreciated by the family.  Just don't overdo flowers...they'll get tons of them.

Most people have the flowers sent to the visitation from the florist. The funeral home or whatever will set them up nicely. If you must take them yourself, take them to the visitation and arrive a little early so that they can be displayed without interrupting the family once they are in the receiving line near the casket.

I don't think you usually "bring" anything. 

If you want to send a card to her family,I would send via mail to the house.  If you want to send flowers to the funeral home, you could do that.  If you know of some charity she was fond of you could skip the flowers and make a donation in her name.  Then you could send a card to the family telling them about the donation. 

typically you send a card to the house and send flowers to the funeral home...you don't bring anythig in person...just yourself and a hug

sorry for your loss

 

Understood. Thanks for your help and condolences, guys.

She was only 20 years old and was struck by an SUV while riding her bike. It's really tragic.

im sorry for your loss you can do both Id rather bring a card because the flowers are donated to the church after or thrown out afterwards

Im sorry for your loss.

you could make a donation to a cause or group that your friend supported or liked, and then bring the little card that they give you to the funeral, if there is time

Because you are a kid and she was a kid, it's ok to bring a card to the visitation, honey, or flowers. Do what is in your heart.

My thoughts and prayers are with you and that poor girl's family.

When I was 11, my 16 year old brother died, and people sent us a lot of different things.  I can still picture the flowers that were brought and I remember I loved those.

Flowers and a card are lovely ideas...but like others have said, it's probably best to send the card to the house and flowers to the funeral home.  There may also be a book there for visitors to sign and leave a note (kinda like a card) that the family will keep.  So if you don't send a card but have something you'd like to say, see if they have one of those books.

Whatever you do..don't bring a joke thing.  Someone brought one of those singing monkeys in a cage (you know, those annoying toys people always set off at the store) and he wanted to put it IN my brothers coffin.  I took it out as soon as he left..I thought it was really disrespectful.  Especially since the song was something about being stuck in a cage forever and wanting to be let out.  Creepy.

I'm really sorry to hear about your friend.  I'll be praying for you and her family.

Justin--

If I am right, you are talking about Sarah Chapman.

I went to high school with her, we were sorority sisters, and she used to drive me to school for a year or two.

It still hasn't registered in my brain what happened to her. I can't believe it. It's so tragic.

I live in Tuscaloosa now for school, so I will not be able to attend the visitation or funeral. If you remember, pass along my condolences. My name is Melissa Clem; her parents will know who I am.

I hope you are doing well, too. It's so hard to wrap your head around someone so young passing away.

Flowers are very nice.  I know when my girlfriend passed away from cancer people donated to a charity set up in her name.  Others also sent blankets, concrete angels, things to decorate her gravestone, pictures of her and that person framed, etc.

Anything you bring/send is a nice gesture.  That being said, I don't think you're required to bring or send anything.

Good luck in this hard time for you.

Original Post by mla931:

Justin--

If I am right, you are talking about Sarah Chapman.

I went to high school with her, we were sorority sisters, and she used to drive me to school for a year or two.

It still hasn't registered in my brain what happened to her. I can't believe it. It's so tragic.

I live in Tuscaloosa now for school, so I will not be able to attend the visitation or funeral. If you remember, pass along my condolences. My name is Melissa Clem; her parents will know who I am.

I hope you are doing well, too. It's so hard to wrap your head around someone so young passing away.

You're exactly right, it was Sarah. Such a small world and big evidence that she touched a lot of lives. I will forward your condolences, Melissa.