I NEED to change my mindset

I do this a bit differently to most of you - I don't CC as this is triggered an ED in me, so to try and lose the weight I gained when I started recovery (gaining 15 pounds has put me just over a healthy bmi, I just wanna get back to how I was), I'm trying to stick to 3 healthy meals a day.

Only the last week this has gone to pot - I've had a lot of "special" occasions which is when I allow myself to eat what I like - usually I let myself have a couple of treats on a Sunday as thats when I usually compete my horses.

But last weekend I went to a national championship and we had toi stay overniht, as its a once a year thing I let myself eat what I wanted (sticking to 3 meals), then on Tuesday my mum cooked a big dinner for my sister and her bf (they dont live at home) so I ate much mor ethan usual...Then yesterday I went out for dinner with my boyfriend to celebrate our annerversary..now this weekend I have another stay away show and following that straight away IO have a 5 day biology fieldtrip where the food is apparantly carb galore with a lot of puds and stuff.

So atm I just seem to be in the frame of mind of "stuff it, I cant get back on track until after the field trip so lets eat crap til then" and I can't seem to stop doing it? All 3 of my meals just seem to be full of unhealthy stuff like sweets and chocolate just because there seems no point changing it now? And thats making me feel very uneasy.

How do I try and..I dunno, how can I change my frame of mind so that when I have a week of not worrying about what I'm eating ahead of me, I don't quit eating as healthy as I can a week earlier as its "pointless" because its not?

I hope that makes sense. Any tips??

Try to live in the "now".  Every time you eat something you can make a good choice now.  Forget about the past, and  the future will take care of itself if you make mostly good choices now.

Also, try to remember that if you make good choices about 80% of the time, the 20% less than ideal choices won't hurt you in any meaningful way.  Lighten up on yourself.

About the 20% thing, thats why I let myself have like chocolate every sunday ect (if I eat it without "rules" I'll eat it 3 times a day) and why I'm generally happy about special occasions being days off or whatever, but I'm starting to panic with old ED thoughts cos of all of this together.

Thanks - thats a good idea about thinking about now. I'll try and bear it in mind..I just seem to worry about the fututre too much