In need of a guidance: One month, no changes.

WORDS AHEAD:

I suppose it's silly to be hoping for an extreme change in over a month, but I just feel flat-out discouraged at this point.

I joined over a month ago, in that I started to count my calories, and portion my sizes. Now, I DO know I have some issues: I am not a type that is "I DO SO MUCH CARDIO/WEIGHT LIFTING/I WEIGH AND MEASURE EVERY MOLECULE OF FOOD OMG WHY ISN'T THIS WORKING"

I have, however, gone for a better health style than previous. I know my limits better with food. And while it is not consistent, I do try to work out a least an hour: I do upper body weight lifting, though nothing spectacular. A measly 5 pound weight each, as I can't do my 12's anymore. (Haven't since I was 140.) But I want to work up to them again, I want to do this safely. When I jog, I go one mile out, walking, run the half-mile back then resume the other half uphill. It's not much, but it's a slow start for me since I have never run in my life until 3 weeks ago.

I am currently on a 1375 calorie daily fulfillment. I was going over my logs for the month: There is only -4- times I actually hit that mark. (And usually I am under by 300 calories, on average - or as little as 50 to my mark.) So, maybe I am under eating...But I know it's not that simple, or that easy, if that's the case. I try not to go under 1200.

Also, my sleeping has been so **** this past week. Bed at 7 am, wake up at 5 pm. It sucks, and makes me RAVENOUS in the morning.

So, on top of that - my weight hasn't moved, if barely. I'll get a 'pity' weight of 158 to 160. It's not muscle gains, there's no way in hell I could hope for something like that as a woman.

I did however just get a digital weight scale. Good lord that makes a difference.

I know I have to keep at it, the discouragement I feel is different than last time. I don't want to stop what I am doing - I am sure I could be doing a LOT more - it's just, the other part of me, the formerly obese part, keeps whispering: "Just accept that you'll be fat. You were fat since a kid, why the **** does it count now in your 20's?"

I don't want the fat part of me to win. It doesn't get to this time.

Any help with be appreciated - any true honest to God suggestions.

EDIT: to help with the post: 23 years old, 5'5, 158-160. Formerly 210, wanting to be 140-130.

I certainly dont want to appear simplistic...but the first thing that jumps out at me is your overwhelming argument with yourself over being overweight.  If you believe you are on your way to a healthier lifestyle and a thinner body, then you will be! (yeah, I know, I am simplistic....sorry)

You mention that you have only hit your calorie mark four times.  And state that you are under by 300 calories on the average.  I believe you really need to eat at least 1200 to lose weight safely. 

Sleep can also affect weight loss, there have been studies done on that.

Question - did you take your measurements when you first started out? 

What patsy said + it`s always a good idea to do full blood tests when weight loss/gain appears to not go as planned for a very long time, for no reason whatsoever.

Sorry, more words:

I thank you for your words and advice! For some reason, I was feeling great this last month - but the last 3 days have been utter hell on my self-esteem. I haven't felt this down in a long time. I am very fortunate to have broken my 'eating to medicate myself' habits a while ago - but unfortunately, the new habit is just not eating at all, which is just as if not more destructive. The very last thing I want today, is food.

It's odd: it's like all of the common sense that I KNOW is there - you can do this, and get back on your feet, one day at a time, etc. - is completely to the left of my body. Like it's hovering over me, but it's not a part of me anymore.

Not to mention calorie counting is something else - I don't mind it at all, I just honestly have no idea what I should be eating. Every calculator tells different. "Eat 1200! No, 1350! 1789!" JESUS CHRIST WHAT IS IT?

I feel like I am losing my mind. I feel like I don't have control anymore. I feel like none of this is going to work because I am missing something. Like, there's a step I don't know and that is the ONE THING that'll magically make this work, or something. Which I know isn't the case.

However: As I have gotten older, my periods have become more erratic. I tend to gain a lot of weight the week leading to my TOTM, which happens to be at the end of every month. I am hoping this is a factor in my feeling like **** the last few days.

I am going on my jog today, and am hoping to lengthen my distance. I was supposed to weight-train last night but it didn't happen, which is OK.

Once again, I thank you all. One thing I have to remember is I am doing this thing entirely by numbers made up for me by the internet. I don't have a doctor to help me like I did when I was young. I haven't had the means or need to see one in years, and I wish more than anything that I could see one. I'd stick the **** needle in my own arm if it meant getting some blood test results to help me guide the way.

I feel like such a whiny **** - there's so many people here who'd probably kill to be 160, and all I can focus on is why I am not 130, and if I am going to be fat for the rest of my life.

Eating is going to be so **** frustrating today. I don't even want to drink water right now and just go back into bed.

I know you are frustrated.  Utilize the tools on this website and google for information.  It may seem overwhelming now but trust me, eventually this will all be second hand to you. 

Go easy.  Go easy on yourself and go easy on your new lifestyle.  It CAN be achieved....one step at a time.

Oh dear, I didn`t realise you were struggling so much. :( What can I say, it can definitely get overwhelming and frustrating, but the best thing to remember at all times is that it`s OK to be a little less than perfect. Make an amazing plan and don`t focus on the one goal you didn`t achieve, but the 9 others that you did. Be positive and don`t expect more from yourself than you would from your best friend, for instance. Surely you wouldn`t let a loved one beat themselves up for falling just a bit short, so why do it to yourself then?

You can do it. :) You know you can.

You may feel better after reading mine even though this is not helpful for you.  I am 5'2" at 205 and have been stuck there for months now.  It is like no matter what I do, I can't lose kind of thing.  I have been really good with my eating (counting every single calorie) for a month now (for the 100th time) and have been exercising without a fail for 3 weeks now.  I haven't dropped a single lb.  I am much shorter than you and much bigger than you.  I am miserable and honestly trying but no luck yet.  I am trying with upping my calories this week and down it next week and see if that helps.  I don't know if the similar strategy would work for you also.  I am not successful with that yet so I can let you know couple of weeks from now.  I pray that atleast I can go under 200.  I am not doing anything wrong.  No sweets, only healthy choices for eating, writing and counting calories and exercising.  The same exact happened last time also and after months of trying I gave up.  I am logical and it doesn't make sense to me that how this can happen.  Eating less than required should result in weightloss in my simple mind.  I don't know if I should just eat way lower than what I am eating.  I am tired and frustrated too.  I am sorry but please don't give up and I am sure you will see a positive result.

Has anyone had their thyroid checked?

Original Post by robintendo:

calorie counting is something else - I don't mind it at all, I just honestly have no idea what I should be eating. Every calculator tells different. "Eat 1200! No, 1350! 1789!" JESUS CHRIST WHAT IS IT?

I feel like I am losing my mind. I feel like I don't have control anymore. I feel like none of this is going to work because I am missing something. Like, there's a step I don't know and that is the ONE THING that'll magically make this work, or something. Which I know isn't the case.

....

I feel like such a whiny **** - there's so many people here who'd probably kill to be 160, and all I can focus on is why I am not 130, and if I am going to be fat for the rest of my life.

Eating is going to be so **** frustrating today. I don't even want to drink water right now and just go back into bed.

 First off, you are in no way being whiny for wanting to get to a healthy weight.  Your goal is perfectly reasonable.  And putting looks aside, there's no reason you should have to accept the increased health risks of being overweight.  As a human being, you are completely entitled to want to be healthy.

I definitely understand the "I must be missing something" feeling.  I'm 32, and while I have never been obese, I have always been overweight.  I started trying to lose weight when I was 13 years old (when my mother sent me to Jenny Craig), so it's been nearly 2 decades.  And for most of that time, my diet has been pretty damned healthy and I was not afraid of excercise either.  I had a roommate in college who looked at what I ate for my typical meals (over half of it vegetables with some protein and some starch thrown in), and said, "I don't understand why you're not thin."  Neither did I.  For nearly 2 decades I just wanted someone to tell me what I have to do to lose weight.  I joined weight watchers for a year and lost a total of 6 pounds, and those 6 pounds came off very slowly, and then the weight loss stopped.  And no one on the WW staff seemed to know what I was doing wrong.  They looked at my food journals and just couldn't help me.

So, 6 years later I started here at 160, nearly 20 pounds heavier than my start weight on weight watchers, and a really scary number for me.  I'm 5'1", and that put me a hair under an obese BMI.  In January, I decided I had to excercise every single day, and I think I took 5 diet books out of the library trying to figure out how to finally get the damned weight off.  All of them had bits of good advice, but when it came down to it, I discovered that I had to pick a lifestyle that I could live with.  I stumbled across this website in February, and for me, it's the best weight loss tool I've come across in 2 decades.  There's no gimmick, no loopholes in the system (do you have any idea how many calories you can stuff into 20 points on weight watchers if you eat enough fiber and vegetables and cut out most fat?  I do).

There is no magic bullet.  But I finally believe that I can do this, and that has made all the difference.  It's easy to give up on something if you don't think it's working anyway.  In the first 2 months I lost 3 or 4 pounds, but my measurements shrunk.  In the last month I think I lost 5 pounds, and today I hit 150!  I can't remember a time in my life when I have lost 10 pounds.

OK, that was long, but the point is, you can do this and believing that is half the battle.  As for how many calories you should eat, my best advice is to use the burn meter tool and subtract 500 from that number.  It sounds like you're lightly or moderately active (you're the only one who can really judge that).  And then eat that.  Eating too little is not helping your metabolism.  I've been down that road and it doesn't work.

Sorry for the topic bump, but I felt it important as to thank you all for your advice and kind words to a stranger on the internet. :) Rockyhard and Dolphinclick: I wish you the best of luck in your endeavors.