REALLY need some help and advice please

Hello again, this is my second post and I just need some honest advice and help please.

Basically I've been struggling with my weight since last summer. I gained a few pounds back then (roughly 10 in about 2 months) and my friends started commenting that I'd gained a bit, even though I wasn't the biggest in our group of friends. Back then, I weighed roughly 160lbs and had a waist measurement of about 37inches (I think). I'm 5ft 3 so I know that wasn't great but it wasn't bad either as I was a UK size 14 (US size 10). Its just things just seem to have gotten worse.

Since the Christmas holidays I just don't seem to be able to lose or maintain my weight. I lost 10lbs on a short diet before xmas so that took me to roughly 150lbs, a UK size 12 (US size 8) with a 34inch waist, but since then my weight has just been creeping up and I don't know what to do. I'm now 178lbs and my waist measurement is 40.5 inches. I've gone up to a UK size 16 (US size 12) and even I've noticed that a fair bit of the weight is settling on my tummy which is just depressing me because it is really obvious that I've put on weight as it sticks out when I'm standing and sitting. What's worse is that my friends have told me I'm getting fat and now I'm the biggest in our friendship group as the girl that used to be the biggest weighs 160lbs is a size 14 and the same height as me.

I really don't know what to do. I'm 18 and I don't really eat a lot of junk food, I just snack lots when I'm doing schoolwork. Also, would I just be better to try to maintain my weight instead of trying to lose some? I mean, does the extra weight make me really overweight or is it ok and just me comparing myself to my friends and feeling that I'm bigger than I really am?

Sorry for the long post, any honest replies are welcomed. Am I just worrying over nothing or is this a really serious problem?

Thank you xxx

Honestly, I think that if you are happy at the weight that you're at then you should just maintain. I would really do my best to just stay at the weight that you are by eating a bit healthier and snacking less. If you do want to lose more weight make sure that you are going to stick with it. You don't want to be losing weight just to gain it right back because it's really not healthy. I don't know if you do but I would add a little bit of exercise to your routine, specially on those days that you snack a lot. Something important that I have learned is that when you want to lose weight, you have to make lifetime changes. Not just changes for a few weeks until you lose weight and then go back to your old habits. When you decide to lose weight you don't have to give up the foods that you love but learn how to eat them. For example, if you us ally order a meal with  extra large fries try to cut down to a small size or even replace them with a nice healthy salad.

Don't compare yourself to your friends because we are all different. Also don't let your friends make you feel bad. I've always been the chubby one among the group of my friends. However, when I decided to lose weight, I didn't do it for them but I did it for me. I decided to make the changes in order to feel better about myself and not to be the smallest among my friends. And remember the important thing is that you feel happy the way you are.

 

Take good care and best of luck to you!!!

Wow. First up, no one should ever be "fattest" or "thinnest" of a group of people. You're all different. Putting pressure on one another by saying "oh, you're the fattest now!" is really wrong, and if your friends are going so far as to call you fat you really ought to make some new ones. You shouldn't be comparing yourself to them - you are you, and that is what counts. If you want to improve your body, do it for you and not for them.

If you want to cut down in terms of snacking, portion things out and do your work away from where food is easy to reach and go for healthier snacks, like a small palmful of unsalted nuts, air popped popcorn, or veggie sticks. That, or eat your dinner before you do your homework - you ought to be full enough not to want to go and pick at more foods that way.

I used to emotionally eat, and work was actually a major stress point for me so I would munch thoughtlessly on salted nuts and crisps and junk I'd bought from the shops after school. While it didn't seem to affect my weight, my health, complexion and asthma were horrendous as a result. Making healthy swaps improved that greatly (I sadly took it too far, however - I am now on a path away from an ED). So make sure, whatever you do, you keep your calories above 1500 (you are still a growing teenager). If your college/Uni has gym facilities, consider taking advantage of them too a few days a week. I wish you luck. :]

in the past i learned that compareing your self to your friends will bring you alot of troubles . if you were a healty weight you should maintain your weight , you dont have to change because other people dont like your new weight , friends are friends because they love  each other not because they look good togather , dont let your  brain washed friends effect you in that way ,if you want to diet it should be because you want to stay healty not to look good , that is what really matter .

Your BMI is just over the border of obese (31.5) and a waist measurement of over 32 inches (for a woman) greatly increases the risk of heart attack, stroke, and diabetes. That probably sounds scary but you are still young and it's a good thing that you've noticed your weight gains early. If you do something about this now you can reach a healthier weight and learn some new habits to set yourself up for a lifetime of eating well.

The worst thing you can do is "diet", the best thing to do is decide to make lifestyle changes to stick with forever, and achieve a slow and steady weight loss. Whatever changes you make have to be reasonable, so that you're prepared to stick with them for life. I'd advise you to log everything you eat for the next few days so that you can see where all the extra calories are coming from, food doesn't have to be "junk" to cause weight gain.

Exercise is also an excellent habit to begin early, if you don't feel like joining a gym then maybe you could go for long walks, or try running, buy an exercise dvd, or a wii fit if you have the money, anything to get you moving and burn calories.

You mentioned that you feel snacking is a problem for you, positive snacking can be a good habit, it keeps the metabolism going and stops us getting too hungry so that we don't make bad food choices at meal times. Good snacks to choose are fruit and vegetables, they're low calorie, nutritionally valuable and contain lots of water and fiber to keep you full. Protein is also really good at suppressing the appetite and reducing the need to snack. Try eating low fat yoghurt, porridge made with skimmed milk, peanutbutter, wholemeal bread, eggs etc. with your breakfast to keep you full for longer.

One other major calorie expenditure you might not realize is alcohol, one alcopop has around 200 calories in it! And does nothing to fill you up. Since I found this out I drink very rarely, when I do drink I have vodka and diet coke (around 60 calories) The other positive of this is that I've realized I can go on a night out and have a brilliant time without drinking. I never spend much more than about £15! Whereas most of my friends spend double or even three times that.

You may also want to check your portion sizes at mealtimes, you might be eating quite healthy foods but if you eat too much of them the calories can really add up and cause weight gain. Again, I suggest counting your typical calorie intake and using the tools on this site to figure out what you should be eating to maintain or lose weight. If you need anymore help please feel free to add/message me, I'm the same age as you and have gone from around 150lbs 2 years ago (UK size 14) to 115lbs (UK size 8) now. Good luck!

Original Post by sophy:

Hello again, this is my second post and I just need some honest advice and help please.

Basically I've been struggling with my weight since last summer. I gained a few pounds back then (roughly 10 in about 2 months) and my friends started commenting that I'd gained a bit, even though I wasn't the biggest in our group of friends. Back then, I weighed roughly 160lbs and had a waist measurement of about 37inches (I think). I'm 5ft 3 so I know that wasn't great but it wasn't bad either as I was a UK size 14 (US size 10). Its just things just seem to have gotten worse.

Since the Christmas holidays I just don't seem to be able to lose or maintain my weight. I lost 10lbs on a short diet before xmas so that took me to roughly 150lbs, a UK size 12 (US size 8) with a 34inch waist, but since then my weight has just been creeping up and I don't know what to do. I'm now 178lbs and my waist measurement is 40.5 inches. I've gone up to a UK size 16 (US size 12) and even I've noticed that a fair bit of the weight is settling on my tummy which is just depressing me because it is really obvious that I've put on weight as it sticks out when I'm standing and sitting. What's worse is that my friends have told me I'm getting fat and now I'm the biggest in our friendship group as the girl that used to be the biggest weighs 160lbs is a size 14 and the same height as me.

I really don't know what to do. I'm 18 and I don't really eat a lot of junk food, I just snack lots when I'm doing schoolwork. Also, would I just be better to try to maintain my weight instead of trying to lose some? I mean, does the extra weight make me really overweight or is it ok and just me comparing myself to my friends and feeling that I'm bigger than I really am?

Sorry for the long post, any honest replies are welcomed. Am I just worrying over nothing or is this a really serious problem?

Thank you xxx

Sophy,

 

I understand you are struggling with your weight, but in all honesty, your friends in your friendship circle are not demonstrating anything that is worthy of being called a "friend" furthermore, I hope you all do not just compare and contrast each others bodies. Trust me I understand your situation, I have always been slightly "larger" than a lot of my friends, but I am also very sucessful in what I do, have no problem attracting men, (I have 3 children now) I am fit and I try my hardest to eat as well as my life allows me too.

But what differs in our two situations is that my friends, no matter what size I am, are always supportive of me as a person, and if in fact I have gained some weight- which trust me I have substantially with my last pregnancy and even after comming home from the hospital- they have always helped in the weight loss journey. I have friends that will come over and work out with me, to Richard SImmons if we feel like it, run on the elliptical machines, go to the gym at 9 oclock at night- the only time I am able to get out of the house- And no matter what they are always supportive.

Now to put the sizing into perspective, and take this into account seriously, becuase the number on your pants SHOULD NOT MATTER!!

My mother weighs 155 lbs and is 5'4" wears a size 12-14

My sister weighs 145lbs and is 5'7" (just a few inches taller) but wears a size 4-5

Now we all know that 10 lbs stretched out over a 3 inch height difference can not change a pants size 6 sizes, although it does make a difference.  There is a web site that shows a picture of 5 or 6 women all whom weigh 150lbs and the difference in their bodies, their sizes, and the way they look. Remember weight looks different on everybody and sizes are all different-

Embark on your weight loss journey but do it for yourself and do it the right way- You said you did a short diet before xmas and lost a lot of weight but then gained it back plus more, thats the true sign that the diet dehydrated you and in many cases could be considered a "Fad" diet- I have also been sucessful in using a "Fad" diet to lose weight, however I adjusted the recommended menu options so that the minimum calorie requirement for a female my age was met (1200) and I have lost the weight and kept it off- its a 3 day  on 4 day off type of diet and it works well for my body.

Good luck to you, and remember we are all here for support so feel free to email me if you would like!!!

-Morgan

Hi Sophy,

I can't really comment on whether being a size 16 is a medical problem or not as i'm not a doctor- however if you are feeling depressed about it then it's a problem for you right? When i put on weight i feel rubbish - i start to hate myself which is so totally wrong! You really want to be happy with yourself and if losing some weight helps, then try and see if you can lose some.  Always remember to pick a goal you would be happy with -  to fit back in to size 14 clothes would be a good goal and would make sure you don't flip and go the opposite way and end up with an eating disorder.

Some ideas:

Have you tried keeping a food diary to find out where your extra calories are coming from?  The food log tool is excellent for this.  If you log your intake over 2 weeks and then study the whole period you can really see where the extra calories are coming from.  Then you just have to decide what to kick out of your diet - maybe switch to diet fizzy drinks or cut out the pack of crisps in the afternoon.  you probably only need to cut out a couple of hundred calories from your diet to stop gaining weight and start loosing.

The biggest step is getting started - it takes a lot to first start writing things down, but just try now, writing down what you've eaten today and then you will be on your way. Remember - you don't need to change any of your eating habits for at least a week while you work out how much you eat.

A tip for studying -  a lot of people use food as a reward when they study which is ok if you then go out and play football all evening or go dancing all night, but for most people snacks as a reward should be left for small children - you're nearly a grown up so do something grown up as a reward - give yourself 10 minutes to paint your toenails or go online or something else you like to do.

Hope this helps.

 

178 lbs on a 5'3" frame is quite a bit of weight...