NEED HELP buying gift for 22 yr.old male who is an interest to me!!!!!

his birthday is on the 22nd, he will be 22.

i want to get him something. im not sure what.

I don't want to just get him a movie or cd. i want it to be something that stands out. not something crazily special. because i dont want him to think im "needy for him" (we are not dating, though i very much want to.)

he likes punk music, ska music, basically lots of types of music as long as it has a good sound and good lyrics and such. hes not a pothead but he does smoke quite a bit of weed and he also likes to drink beer. he likes outdoorsy stuff (he was in outdoor ed class and also went on a trip with Outward Bound)

i want something that says "i was thinking of you" not something that says "im trying to buy you"

a little background on the me/him part...

i know there is at least one other girl who also is 'chasing' after him. it kills me to think that they way he looks at me might be the way he looks at her. kills me!

he says he doesnt have time for a relationship, and i really believe that because he works long shifts 6 days a week at a bar, lives paycheck-to-paycheck, and his sister (who has been my best friend for months before i met him) has always told me he is too busy for a girlfriend, even before i even knew who he was she would say that when talking about him.

anyway. i really do want a relationship with him. im NOT trying to push it on him, but i want him to know that when he finally has time, im there. I have had feelings for him for quite some time now.

ANY IDEAS? anything is appreciated!

im thinkin' of making a somewhat suggestive calender for him lol.

Buy him the book Catch 22.

take it from me (another 22 yr old guy) the best gifts are the ones that I can use everyday, OR on the flipside to do a certain activity...does he play any instruments? or maybe some concert tickets to one of his top bands (preferably one he hasn't seen) so at the very least he'll always have the memory of seeing that amazing concert with you.

Dont do the suggestive calendar...says wayyyy too much about you.  What about a gift certificate for something fun you can do together?  How bout paintball?  target shooting? rock climbing?  Think of his taste and give him something he would enjoy doing alone and also with a potential someone.  If he asks you, well that's half the battle.  If he doesnt ask you, then you have your answer and have saved yourself plenty of heartache.

Good luck.

Take him Paint-balling.

If I guy is TOO busy for a relationship, rethink your desire to date him. It sounds like a losing battle that will just bring you frustration and loneliness. (It will get you the same results as waiting for a guy who is already in a relationship!) Why not pursue a friendship/relationship with a guy who is available?

That being said, I liked the idea above about inviting him to a concert, or a comedy club. What about going on a hike and packing a lunch? Or, just bake him some cookies and say "happy birthday" and until he gets some free time, look elsewhere for a date... good luck.

I hate to say it but in dating world terms, "too busy to date" = diplomatic way of saying he's not interested in you in that way.

I really believe that if the interest was there, he'd find a way. If I could find time to date as a single working mother of two young children, this young guy could find a way too.

Other than that, I like the idea of gifting him some homebaked goodies. Package them up nice and I bet he'll appreciate that more than anything. Save your money.

Take him out to dinner somewhere casual and fun, and then find a local bar or club that has live music (punk, whatever you guys like) and go there afterwards. He will appreciate the fact that you put the thought into planning out a fun birthday evening for him :)

in response to those who say he is not interested in me:

every day he has off we spend together. he calls me honey and other cute things. his roommates and friends all tell me he always talks about me when im not around. one of his friends even expressed an interest in me but followed it by saying he wouldnt even try because of "bob*"

*named changed for obvious reasons lol.

he doesnt really like going out to do...'things'. paintballing would be AWESOME, i have done it before and loved it, but its not something we could do, as e have no transportation and no paintballing areas close by. also...he isnt the kind of guy to want to go out and do something like that. when he goes out its to parties or punk shows.

and a calendar wouldnt be "too much of me" or at least i dont think so. i mean, we have sex often. he's already seen it all.

its hard to plan ahead for a concert or punk show because he could be working the night of the show, and cant afford to schedule days off.

thats why its so hard for me to find something to get him!

i like #6s idea about a hike and a lunch, and the cookies idea.

same with #7....home baked goodies.

he doesnt always have money to buy all the groceries he needs, so im sure homebaked foods and goodies would be much appreciated.

and he loves outdoors stuff, so a hike with a lunch would be awesome. too bad its already so frikkin' cold out.

grr. canada and our cold novembers.

Honey, if he's already getting the sex, then he has no reason to commit.

I like the cookie idea. Cheap, not too showy, but still says that thought about him and you took time out of your day to show make him something for him alone to enjoy.

Original Post by trickynomad:

Honey, if he's already getting the sex, then he has no reason to commit.

*ding ding Winner!*

Original Post by yountsmonster:

Original Post by trickynomad:

Honey, if he's already getting the sex, then he has no reason to commit.

*ding ding Winner!*

 

 Too true. Unfortunately. He's stringing you along. This just confirms even more to me that you won't see the type of relationship you really want out of him. You said he doesn't like to "do things", well I'd also read into that also he's using you. You deserve a guy who will take you out on a real date doing something you like to do!

Get him a cool, unique t-shirt.

And recognize the relationship for what it is; friends with benefits and unlikely to turn into anything else... you'll need to figure out if you're OK staying like that; maybe you'll wind up too attached if you sleep with him long enough. My personal limit is about a month, after which I find myself wanting more than just sex. Even if I wasn't that into the person to begin with.

And guys do commit for reasons other than to get sex. I agree that this guy won't commit, but it's not because you're having sex; it's because he just isn't that into you. If he were, he would WANT to have exclusive dibs and make you his girlfriend, whether or not you were already sleeping together (if you were, that would only speed up the process). Now, that being said, is it possible that someone will commit JUST in order to get sex? Maybe, but that isn't the kind of commitment (or man) any sane woman would want.