need help getting exact numbers... anorexic... be patient and kind

i am not hungry for all the calories i need to eat to gain the weight i need to gain and i will not eat high calorie foods or i will binge on them. cant do oils or butters sauces or fats.... i dont eat meat. cannot have chocolate or chips or junk. my problem is diff bc i wavered between binge eating and anorexia for so long but now i am malnurished and need to gain 5 lbs in a month says my nutritionist.
i dont know what to do i end up eating 2 lbs of fruit a day to up my cals and i masssss stock protein with yogurt and soy and cottage cheese and fish. also love my veggies.
ill eat cereal or oatmeal, pumpkin, bread, yam, some rice or popcorn but those are my only carbs... though some beans or corn dont scare me.
any ideas???
i get about 140-160gg of carbs a day (most are fruit i will say).... 70-90g of protein... 55-75g of sugar (all fruit)... but my cals are still way too low. only around 900 calories a day and i am 5'2'' and weigh 98lbs. no movement at all during day.
any advice?

the gain must be slow or i will flip out.  5 lbs a month is fine.

How much fat do you get? It's unhealthy to have any less than 20% of your calories from fat.

i think you should talk to your nutritionist to set up a plan for you; tell him/her what you like/don't like, etc

I'm 5'2" and currently weigh 127 lbs or so; ideally i should be around 118 lbs.

I eat 1200-1500 cal to lose weight and 1800 cal to maintain my weight; i also burn between 500 and 1000 cal a week during cardio.

i'd also suggest you to start to a workout routine; it will help you get in touch wt the real hunger feelings and such

I don't like meat much either so i seldom eat it; i do love cheese though

I'm afraid that part of the recovery is learning to eat the 'scary' foods as well as the ones you're OK with.  If you carry on filling up on low-calorie fruit and cottage cheese then you'll pop before you gain the weight.  You won't gain an ounce eating 900 cals a day.

You need a good balance of foods on your plate each time to get the full benefit and you'll need well over 2000 cals a day.   Complex carbohydrates are very useful to you because they're quite energy-dense, contain lots of good nutrition (B vitamins that help the body repair) and they tend to be high in fibre, which keeps your digestion running smoothly.   Oils and fats are vital because they contain 'essential fatty acids' which your body can't make for itself.   25-30% of your day's calories should come from fat.

I don't know what technques your nutritionist has given you to gain the 5lbs required.  An eating plan?   A calorie target?   But plan it out, face the 'scary foods' head on and do your best.  Good luck

Okay. If you aren't physically hungry, first thing to do is to write yourself out a meal plan schedule if you do not have one from a doctor or nutritionist already and follow it. And STICK to it. Eat even if you do not feel like eating if it is your time to do so.

Secondly, toast is right. How much fat do you get? You need to be having a decent fat intake full stop. Move your dairy products from no fat or half fat to whole. This is a good thing to do as it is more or less impossible for you to identify a difference if you are used to eating yoghurt and dairy for protein already.

It is very much easier to get your calories up using low density high calorie food. I know you have said that you fear bingeing on them, but so did I - and then found that the fear was irrational. You like oatmeal, yes? Mix in some peanut butter with your oatmeal as a start point. Or add raw, unsalted nuts themselves to it. Dried fruit is also a good option - apricots, prunes, dates, mango, figs and more. For oil, make some stir frys. Drizzle oil on your vegetables. Shallow fry (sautee?) your vegetables in butter or oil.

Aim for wholegrain carbohydrates (most of the ones you listed are wholegrain), a good variety of proteins and healthy fats. Flax seed, oils, butters, avocado, nuts, nut butters... it is very easy to do. Beans, pulses, legumes are very VERY healthy and as you are not a meat eater they are also a valuable source of various nutrients and minerals. Chickpeas, black beans, kidney beans, lentils and more. Enjoy them, don't fear them!

Are you not eating chocolate because you don't want to? It is a brilliant idea to tackle fear foods head on early in recovery. I had help in this and now find it a lot easier to get my meals in because I'm not sweating over whether or not I can have chocolate or whatever else if I want to.

Lastly, you definitely need to be getting more than 900 calories. Get up to 1200, then 2000, then 2500. Stay OFF of your scales for two weeks as you will see water weight at first. It will ONLY be that - water. Your body requires 3500 calories over its burn to put on a solid lb and so it is impossible to gain weight to a vast degree overnight beyond water weight, which will flush out after about two weeks of steady eating at higher levels.

EDIT: DO NOT start an exercise routine beyond weight lifting to rebuilt catabolised muscle, and even then only do so if okayed by your doctor and nutritionist first. Your weight is VERY low, so any exercise may be counter productive. Also, as you are gaining weight the numbers others may give will be irrelevant to you. Aim for 2500. It is a trial-and-error game but 2500 is a good start point.

i dont exercise i cannot i have a heart condition and i cant have the scary foods as you put it because if i start to binge i will use drugs again and i have 6 months clean and will not risk that.  i got mycals to 1000 today... slowly getting them up.  just was looking for an exact number of what you think i need a day in order to gain 5 lbs in one month.  i know im still too low and i will try my best to get them up.... i think i may buy ensure.   i cant do snack foods or oils or butters and my heart condition cant handle those foods anyway.

thanks for all the advice.  eating a 300 calorie dinner right now which is scaring the hellllllll out of me!

EDIT: (A little brash here, advice in pm)

have you had binge eating disorder?  i could give you my backstory if you would like... never assume.  thats just rude and not helpful.  im looking for help.  i am looking to gain not get sicker.

Original Post by danamichael:

i dont exercise i cannot i have a heart condition and i cant have the scary foods as you put it because if i start to binge i will use drugs again and i have 6 months clean and will not risk that.  i got mycals to 1000 today... slowly getting them up.  just was looking for an exact number of what you think i need a day in order to gain 5 lbs in one month.  i know im still too low and i will try my best to get them up.... i think i may buy ensure.   i cant do snack foods or oils or butters and my heart condition cant handle those foods anyway.

thanks for all the advice.  eating a 300 calorie dinner right now which is scaring the hellllllll out of me!

You are making your own reality.

You are telling yourself you will binge on them.  You are telling yourself you CAN'T do these things.  You CAN.  You make your own reality.  While I know BED is a real disorder (my mother had it), it is treatable.  Look up Geneen Roth...she has a lot of great books on the subject.  The book 'intuitive eating' is also excellent.

Even with a heart condition, you can eat healthy fats.  In fact, they are good for you.  Nuts, nut butters, fish oils, avocado, are all sources of healthy fats that are good for your heart.  You are using it as an excuse.

You are wavering between AN and bingeing because you are starving your body...your body rebels and hence the 'binge'.  If you gradually increase your intake and allow yourself to actually eat, the 'bingeing' will stop.  

 

Original Post by for_zev:

Original Post by danamichael:

i dont exercise i cannot i have a heart condition and i cant have the scary foods as you put it because if i start to binge i will use drugs again and i have 6 months clean and will not risk that.  i got mycals to 1000 today... slowly getting them up.  just was looking for an exact number of what you think i need a day in order to gain 5 lbs in one month.  i know im still too low and i will try my best to get them up.... i think i may buy ensure.   i cant do snack foods or oils or butters and my heart condition cant handle those foods anyway.

thanks for all the advice.  eating a 300 calorie dinner right now which is scaring the hellllllll out of me!

You are making your own reality.

You are telling yourself you will binge on them.  You are telling yourself you CAN'T do these things.  You CAN.  You make your own reality.  While I know BED is a real disorder (my mother had it), it is treatable.  Look up Geneen Roth...she has a lot of great books on the subject.  The book 'intuitive eating' is also excellent.

Even with a heart condition, you can eat healthy fats.  In fact, they are good for you.  Nuts, nut butters, fish oils, avocado, are all sources of healthy fats that are good for your heart.  You are using it as an excuse.

You are wavering between AN and bingeing because you are starving your body...your body rebels and hence the 'binge'.  If you gradually increase your intake and allow yourself to actually eat, the 'bingeing' will stop.  

 

Aside from the pm, this is very good advice as well.

in my opinion, to truely recover you need to regain confidence, stop the obsession/rules/regultions and being scared. you said it yourself you are malnourished you have no limits to what your allowed, this isn't just me talking it's like my 3 doctors too.

i was living off around 1000cals (a bit less even..) then jumped to maybe my RDI of 1750cals for a couple of weeks before jumping straight to 3000cals, ive suddenly gained heaps (too fast to be anything other than water weight which will subside, you may expect that) i ate 3000cals the first day cause i added one or two snacks (fruit and cheese maybe) or something, cant remember exactly so...scratch that, but i ate more than usual and got my apetite back, oher than eating more there are many ways to regain apetite (zinc i think, ask around). to gain i eat nuts, yoghurt, ive swapped apples for bananas, low-fat to full cream (if you havent yet you cant call yourself 'recovering'), 1/2 cup cereal to overflowing cup of muesli etc. :P dont be scared, im not any longer, to lve life better you need to be happier, put more of an effort socially, do things you enjoy, indulge dont feel like there are set rules to YOUR life. eating small meals often is a great way to help, eat every 3 hours about, that avoids binging an feeling deprived. with binging (ive never suffered so u can ignore me) ask mum or someone close to watch you, be open and close to SOMEONE during recovery,  helps avoid relapse, honestly. obviously to recover you need to control eating habbits, if you feel you cant trudt yourself, get help, but eat more often so you dont feel like your missing out, buy things in small packets using small bowls if that helps.

why don't you eat meat? try chickpeas and lentils i LOVE 'em, i got over my vegetarian thing when i realised it was only because of anorxia even if you do love animals, look after yourself first, this is't really the way to recover.

"cannot have chocolate or chips or junk" i can see why..."cant do oils or butters sauces or fats" - my backside. im sorry but add oil to your dishes, risottos etc. eggs and nuts both have fats + proteins, the good kind. sauces, if it helps, couldbe avoided until you feel more comfortable but you cant bar yourself for the rest of your life, is there any point living a life without enjoyment?

your being a bit too fussy, i do understand its hard with bingers but you need to eat everything, not keeping anything away from your body. maybe start the day with a small snack build up to a smll meal then  bit later have a medium lunch, then a snack then dinner, something that encourages you not to binge, but tha power needs to come fom within...

this is all very helpful... thank you i will try my hardest.  i am at 1000 now.  binged a bit last night bc i was upset about this post actually... sad.  but i know thats in my hands and no ones fault but mine.  scale was up 2 lbs today but its probably water.  you are all very knowledgable and i hope you continue to help me in the future with more questions in my crziness.  im sorry if my questions are annoying.

You're not at all annoying, dana. Keep pushing past 1000 now - aim for 1500, then 2000, then 2500. Make your milestones in 500's. And stay awaaaaay from the scales for a couple of weeks! Water fluctuation is silly.

for zev gave very good advice in my opinion you are making you own reality and binging because youre starving.... overeatting is part of the recovering from undereatting, dont consider eatting a lot a binge either when  your body is starving from 900 cals a day

scary thing is i gained a lb in 2 days on 900.  i do want to gain 5 this month but if i gained 1 on 900 its a little crazy to think of what 1500 then 2000 will do ya know... but ill keep pushing it could be water.  thanks everyone i know you all are trying to help and are so very kind.  i am an adult acting like a child when i am caught up in disease like this.  so embarrassing.  my bad spelling doesn't help:)

this was my chart overall for last 2 weeks... yes my cals are higher now this is estimate of 2 weeks if it helps...

Daily Averages food calories: 778 cals exercise minutes: 25 mins exercise calories: 60 cals net calories: 718 cals fat: 7 g   saturated fat: 1 g carbohydrate: 133 g   sugar: 63 g protein: 72 g fiber: 31 g sodium: 1,493 mg potassium: 2,139 mg calcium: 469 mg iron: 7.7 mg zinc: 2.1 mg cholesterol: 70.7 mg effective carbohyrate: 102 g

We recommend that around 40-60% of your calories should come from carbs, 15-20% from protein and 20-30% from fat.

Eat whole-grain bread, a nice thick slice with cream cheese on top.  Even two or three.

It is definitely water. I'll say it again: keep off your scales for two weeks. Hide them, lock them away. You are retaining water and it will flush out, but it is vital you get to 2500 as quick as you can. Obviously, do not go from 900 to 2500 as this can have bad effects, but more 900 to 1200, then 1500, then 2000, then 2500.

This is a topic I struggle with.  I am trying to eat more to gain weight but I just don't have an appetite. So only eating when I am hungry is my struggle right now.  If I had a schedule that "told" me when I "should" be eating, it would be so helpful.  Would anyone who has had success with sticking to an eating schedule be willing to share what their schedule for a typical day looked like. I am at a point that I have really forgotten what normal eating looks like and this would be very helpful. Thanks !!