I need help...

I'm so fat, and I'm out of control.

I've always been fat.

I dropped about 35 lbs after highschool when I moved out for college. (yep I DROPPED the freshmen 15) The lowest i've ever been in my 'adult life' is 195.

Due to some financial issues I moved home in January, and with home came my family's eating habits.

So here I am 5'5" 230 lbs. I've gained 30 lbs since January.

I'm good all day (i work a full time desk job) i eat kashi cereal with milk for breakfast, cottage cheese or tuna sandwhich on whole wheat, verggies, yogurt for lunch and then i guess when i come home i go nuts? Dinner is not healthy here, and i've tried to change it but my dad does the cooking and he is too lazy to put effort into anything and he is in love with cheese and his deep fryer! So i sit down to delicious but really bad for you food and eat that and i'm so fat. i hate myself and the way i look. its making me depressed and i get down and can't motivate myself to exercise.

i don't know what help anyone can even give  me, i'm just so at the end of rope with it.

how do you motivate yourself

I thought about just eating what i normally do but cutting my portions in half (i eat large portions to begin with) has anyone tried this? did it work?

someone  help me please

Peer pressure whether it comes from friends or family is one of the toughest things to over come.  Although it is the unsatisfied need that will eventually motivate you to take the steps necessary to achieve your goal.

I am guessing by your post that there is a lack of discipline, which leads to bad habits, which leads to bad results, which leads to depression, which leads to lack of motivation, which leads to a lack of discipline and so the cycle continues!

Start with dicipline, bring the small areas in your life into control first.  So if it is getting to bed on time and getting up on time so you get 7 hours or better of sleep, start there first.  Get some successes built up.  This will motivate you to bigger and better.  Then get your eating under control.

Avoid the "white death", refined sugar and white flour if at all possible.  Curbing my sugar intake has helped my portion control a bunch!  It also cut unnecessary calories out of my diet and I lost 15 pounds in a month.  By the way cut out diet sodas as well (sorry).

Listen to people who motivate you.  I like to listen to Jack LaLanne and Dr. Stephen Covey (7 Habits of Highly Effective People).  There are no magic bullets just common sense and hard work, and when those two aren't enough, then there is prayer!

Best wishes, I know you can get out of this rut!

Well.. im just curious, how long have u been on calorie counter + how old are u?

Because, yeah, portion control has helped me tremendously, and just like 'bigdad' said, if u start by changing something small, itll lead you too bigger changes and itll just become a... idunno, upward spiral.

And, another thing is to find something u like to do for excercise. And maybe, its not even something u like at first,, just sometihng that u can tolerate..

And trust me, i know how u feel, although im younger than u.. i just have been super depressed in the past couple of weeks cuz ive realized how i have let myself become u kno? I was never skinny, but i was never this big until now.. And to top it all off, my mom has joined WeightWatchers and lost 25 pounds (and thats all she ever talks about.), my sister has recently realized she LOVES to dance and has lost her tummy and gone down a whole pants size.

I dont know, i think we might be able to help each other out? BUT!!!

you hang in there and take it one minute at a time. [this idea has really helped me keep myself in check]

Hey, I'm Dave.

So, I'll try and let you know a bit about how things changed for me - unfortunately for the sake of your questions our situations were rather different and my stuff won't totally apply but here is how it began.

I finally had full control of my diet (no family around, no gf and no shared cooking with roomies) so I could change it at my whim. I decided to start exercising originally. I wanted to lose weight. I got a buddy to go to the gym with. We went 3 times a week for about an hour and a half and then we'd walk home. It was nice to work out with a friend and have someone to talk to during breaks at the gym. Gradually we became more and more serious about our exercise and began to go on our own when it fit us best (still together if we were both interested that night). I lost weight and I was very, very happy with the changes. I didn't want to stop then. How could I afford to lose the awesome feelings that were coming, the newfound confidence just because I couldn't be bothered? I then decided I could eat better as well and get the proper nutrition and such. Eventually I searched for calories in stuff and found this website. I think the biggest thing that helped my loss was portion control. I read up on here about the 6 meal plan and the different ways that people used it, why people use it and how it could be made to fit your life. I liked the sound of it. I slowly changed my habits more and more. I now do the 6 meals a day. It works well.

For me the 6 meals a day thing works well because it forces me to consider portion sizes when dishing out my food. I like to cook like I'm feeding a family. I'll make a dish that'll feed me for about 8-12 meals and eat it throughout the week. I try and portion my food into 400-500 calorie bundles now. The portion control has made me realize how much it takes for me to feel full.

Try this for two weeks. Eat what you normally eat but cut it in half. Once you finish your half get up and leave the table. Walk away from the meal. If you stay and see people enjoying it you'll probably be tempted to eat some more because of how tasty it was. Now, in many families it's rude to leave the table like that, so if yours is one such family I would suggest finding a place nearby that you can still carry on conversation from but that doesn't put you in direct line with the food as much as sitting in front of it does. At my parents place we've got a living room that has an opening into it so that you can sit down in there and still talk to people in the dining room. It's perfect for me to leave when I'm full and not be rude (We all talk loud anyway, so volume increases don't matter). If you don't have such a set up then maybe you could do this - bring a couple of couch cushions into the room, and sit on them with your back against a wall. The cushions will give your bum some comfy support but since you're only using a couple the chances of you being able to see the food on the table from that height are slim. This will help keep the visual aspect of cravings down.

As for motivation it was my friends company in the beginning. We'd both nudge the other a little. If this isn't your thing maybe a bit of competition will help? What is a competitive sport you've enjoyed playing in the past? Join a team or league and work towards your goals that way. I play a lot of soccer and I was so happy to notice that I was able to run faster and execute plays much better after losing weight. It really helped to motivate me to continue exercising. I couldn't give this advantage up! I was so much more useful on the field too. Even now when I get tired during HIIT and want to quit I start to imagine that I just need to finish running this minute to catch up to the guy with the ball in front of me. It works a bit and makes me continue at a high pace. I also find the right music is priceless. Invest in a personal music device and fill it up with music that energizes you and makes you want to dance/move/shout. Listen to some of this music after you come home from work and it may help motivate you into deciding that it would be a good idea to go out for that walk and get moving.

Enjoy!

First of all don't panic.  Make a long term plan but include short term goals along the way.  Start with cutting out about 10% of the bad stuff in your diet.  Start exercising slowly.  Then move on from there.  Remember there's no rush.

Hi Tru2myman here,

I totally agree with all of you, I know me and it's been so hard to change my eating habits.  I've always been an emotional eater.  I have a background in depression, there were times  I thought I was the queen of all depressed people, and I had suicidal thoughts, (not anymore) just all sorts of things.  I've been trying to diet all of my life, I'm 45 years old now I think I've done all I can do at least that's what I thought.  I've been seeing a Nutritionist, and he has been helping so much, I mean I feel for the first time in my life that I can do this.  I'm finally getting that it's not a diet but a life change, don't focus on your weight, focus on being healthy.  I have a food diary that I keep, it took me forever to do this because I just didn't want to but I tried and loved it.  I write down everything I eat whether good or bad I write it down and include how I'm feeling at the time.

He has put me on a 1800 calorie intake, he told me to try to eat 425  calories for each meal, and 225 calories for snacks and I've been doing just that although now what I do is as long as I stay within my calorie intake for the day I just eat.

I'm learning that you can basically eat what you want and as you go you learn what's ok and what isn't (which comes to you very quickly) you seem to stay focused on what your doing, if you realize that you have control.  And when you fall don't beat yourself up over it, tell yourself, I've fallen but I refuse to stay down pick yourself up and keep right on going.  I used to beat myself up over and over again.  I'd say " what's the use I've messed up I'd might as well give up, this is who I am" NOT you can do it, WE can do it.  Just remember like lionsroar said, "DON'T PANIC, THERE'S NO RUSH" Don't beat up on yourself Please that doesn't help.  You are a strong person, you have to be to even have written to ask the question you did.  Some people would have thought it was embarrassing to put they're weight out there.  You can do this. Be uplifted

Good Luck, and I'll be praying for you

 

First off, inhale and think happy thoughts...  Beaches....  Sand....  Ocean waves...

Ok, now the hard part.  It's highly likely that your father doesn't want to change even though what he's eating isn't healthy.  Cheesy frieds stuff isn't good for ANYONE.  If you start changing, then he'll have to get away from his fried cheese :) 

Try this.  This is my restaurant survival strategy and it helps.   Before you go home for dinner, eat an apple, a pear, or some other rather large piece of fruit and drink a big glass of water.  Ask your dad if he could start making a salad to go with his meals.  Take a sip of water between each bite.  Get a smaller plate.  Eat a lot of salad and little of what he's made.  Using the smaller plate will make it look bigger to you.  And I agree with the poster above, when you're done eating GET AWAY FROM THE FOOD. 

You also need to find someone who will go walking with you.  Your mom perhaps?  If she's eating this stuff, she's probably equally not well off.