I need some help.

Hi everyone! I have been a visitor to this website since the end of January but my weight issues and journey date back 25 years or more. Please bear with me while I share the highs and lows of my weight history. I hope if I share as much as necessary, you all can help me figure this out.

First off, my stats: I am 5' 2" and currently weigh 165, about 40-45 pounds over my ideal weight. More on this later.

I was always "chubby" as a child, not really fat, but soft and fluffy. I was not an athelete by any stretch of the imagination. I never exercised but ate fairly normally as a teenager and maintained a weight around 125 and wore a size 9. Of course, this was back in the 1970s so nowadays, I probably wore a 5 or 3 even. I digress. I always wanted to be thinner but never knew how to go about it and just lived with what God gave me.

In my early 20s, I took a job that was pretty active. I never sat down once all day, so imagine my surprise when I lost about 15 pounds and developed a new slimmer figure. Then I started going to the gym and discovered I loved "aerobic dance" exercise. Can we all say "dating oneself?" And I also discovered weights and loved them, too.

Then I had a terrible emotional devastation and I stopped exercising and stopped eating. This is when I really got thin but it was very unhealthy thin. I can't say that I was completely anorexic, but I would only eat when I was with other people, so that meant I ate lunch at work, which mostly consisted of salad with chicken or eggs. I probably was eating 500-600 calories a day, some days less.

I met my husband and started eating a little bit more as my heart healed, but I still restricted calories and did not exercise. I had my pregnancy at 29 (I weighed 115 at this point) and realized that I could not keep up the restricted calories as I was losing weight while pregnant and this alarmed my doctor, so I started eating a bit more and made healthier choices. I only gained 19 pounds and lost most of it right away. Still no exercise. Two years later I had our second daughter, again only gaining 20 pounds and losing most but not all. Still no exercise save for running after a 2-year-old and taking care of a newborn. Two and a half years after than, our third child was born and again gained a normal 25 pounds, but this time, the weight did not come off as easily and I was left with a good 20 pounds hanging on. When the youngest was 6 months old, I joined a gym and started exercising and lost some fat and gained some muscle, which was good but still had 15 pounds to go to get back to 120, which was, and has been my goal since the first baby was born. I started being very careful about what I ate and kept my fat grams at 30 or less. This was when Dr. Ornish's book was really popular. I got down to 128 and plateaued for months. Then I started gaining again. This time getting up to 153, two pounds shy of my last pregnancy weight. One thing I should mention, I was exercising again about 60-90 minutes a day and restricting more and more and gaining. Talk about frustrating.

So in 2004, I went to a weight-loss clinic, medically sponsored, and they really helped me get a handle on my eating and told me to stop exercising as I was. They felt I was overtraining. They educated me on how many portions of carbs, fruit, vegetables, dairy and protein I should be eating. The first two weeks I was to completely stop exercising while changing my dietary habits. I lost weight, about 22 pounds. Here comes the most frustrating part: After being on this program for 9 months, feeling great, looking great, back to more moderate exercise of walking and moderate weights, I started gaining weight. A pound here, two pounds there, three pounds yet again.

Which leads me to present day. Since the weight-loss clinic program, I have been on South Beach, Adkins, Biggest Loser, The Best Life, Weight Watchers, all with the same results, gaining weight. I have great muscle strength and tone because I lift heavy enough weights, I do at least 30 mins of cardio 5 days a week. I found this site and thought maybe I will find answers here. I started lifting heavier weights, used the burn meter and food log being scrupulous about everything I eat. Being someone who has watched every calorie for the past 25 years, I can mentally talley my calories a day without the use of a counter, but it just confirms my own calculations. I still have great trouble eating enough calories to sustain the exercise I find myself addicted to. It does not seem to matter at all anyway because no matter what I do, I gain weight. It is very frustrating.

Yes, I have bee to the doctor and had my thyroid tested and all is fine there. I have not had my hormone levels checked in a while but I currently have no health insurance, so this is not an option right now.

Again, my stats are: Age 48, I am skipping age 49 and jumping right into 50 on my next birthday, weigh 165, am 5' 2" tall.

If you have read all the way to here, bless you! I feel very selfish and narcissistic writing this. However, if anyone has any idea what might be going on or how I can reverse this upward trend and begin losing weight, I am all ears. I don't want to be rail thin, I think 120-125 would be healthy for me. I don't want to be one of those middle-aged women who are too thin and look like they are all skin and sinew.

Thank you for reading this and for any replies. I will definitely be back if I get any.

Hello merrymusewife: I'm sorry to hear about your problem which must be extremely frustrating.   After following the 9 month sensible eating regimen prescribed by the weight loss clinic in 2004 it must have been a bitter disappointment when you inexplicably began to regain weight. 

I'm no expert, but even I can see that your body has been challenged many times with physical extremes: very low calorie intake at one end, and heavy exercise at the other.  These extremes must have had a detrimental affect upon your metabolism.

From what I've read around this site, I understand that a body gets used to certain behaviour in both diet and exercise and will refuse to budge to a lower weight (the so-called plateau) unless you do something different.  Some people have stated they were advised to consume more calories and this kickstarted the fat loss once more.  Similarly, your body gets very used to the exercise you give it, and to counteract this you must challenge your muscles differently by doing different activities and for different lengths of time.  When the exercise becomes easy, your body isn't working so hard.  I don't necessarily believe you have to do more, just do different.  Maybe instead of lifting weights you could cycle for a while, and when that gets easy, go back to the weights.

I hope that the above will help you because you do sound very low!  The good news is that there are lots of helpful people here, and they can offer you a wealth of encouragement and advice.  Good luck!

I really hope more knowledgeable people can jump in and help you find the source of your problem.
To be quite honest your story really flabbergasted me, the first thing that comes to mind is do like you did at the clinic, stop working out for now, or at least tune it down quite some and try to get a handle on your eating habits first, heal your body, because like wiltshirelass said, your body has been challenged many times.
It kinda does sound like your metabolism needs to be 'set straight' first.
For the rest I don't really know anything that could help you, I just want to express my support, I hope that all of us together can figure out where the problem lies.
((HUG))

Bless you both! Thank you for your replies. Wiltshirelass, I never thought of my body being challenged, but I think you are right on. As is often stated, one never really breaks an addiction; rather one just trades one addiction for another. I think I must have traded my calorie-restriction addiction for extreme exercise addiction. I have taken a week off exercise here and there, so I wonder if I need to really take a break from all addiction and let my body really, truly heal and not be so stressed by asking it to exercise and not being able to keep up the calories required. It is something for me to think about.

Soliwit, thank you for your reply. I have gone back to the weight-loss clinic program a few times and just never had it really do what it did the first time. Great minds think alike, huh?

One thing I failed to mention is that I do eat very cleanly and healthfully. Lots of fruits and vegetables, whole-grains, and lean proteins. Low-fat dairy. I do allow for treats once in awhile and a glass or two of wine on Friday night only. Another thing that has changed is that I have a new job that is not nearly as stressful as the last job I had.

Thank you for your replies. I look forward to what some of the other members might have to say.

I wouldn't classify exercising 5 days a week for an hour or so of weights and cardio as an exercise addiction - seems like the right amount so kudos to you on that, keep it up.

You say you eat clean and low fat right now ... what were your results on other types of diets? You said you tried Atkins and south beach - you didn't lose any weight following induction in these plans? That's very odd indeed.  

My first suggestion would be to eat protien of some sort at every meal no matter what. My second suggestion would be to look at the glycemic index and to eat only the lowest GI foods ... essentially I would eliminate all cereals, breads, pastas, rice and grains and get your starches only from fiberous veggies like sweet potato, beans and legumes.

Have you ever been tested for insulin resistance?

Thank you, sybil878, for your reply. No, I have not been tested for insulin resistance, but I have been tested for hypoglycemia and diabetes, both were normal.

I had to go off Adkins after 12 weeks because it caused heart palpitations and dysrhythmias. On Adkins, I lost about 10 pounds, which was great but I just could not keep up the stringent low carb plan. On SB, I did not lose any weight at all. On Weight Watchers, I gained 1.5 pounds in 16 weeks.

I do eat protein with every meal.

As far as the exercise goes, I love doing it, feel great, but as soon as I increase a weight or length of weight training and reduce cardio, I gain 3-5 pounds. Everyone says it is water, except that it never goes away. Also, according to the burn meter here and other calorie calculators on the web, if I work out 60 minutes or so a day, I should be eating about 2000 calories. I am really working at it to get to 1500 a day. Usually this leaves me with a very high calorie deficit.

I don't mean to throw up roadblocks, it's just that I have tried so many things, except letting go of the exercise and feeding my body my 1500 cals a day and see what happens then. I give everything a good long try before trying something else, 16 weeks or more.

I think your diet/exercise all are fine...your obviously healthy and are able to watch things.

But your no longer under 45, so age has kicked in its many different aspects to weight gain or loss.  Metabolism is different and that means you have to do things differently than when you were younger.

Consider reducing your calories but work on all natural food cleanses.  These cleanses will kick start your weight loss.

My significant other is your height and age was 152lbs this past January 09.  Her current weight is 124 and she is heading for 115lbs.  I was 202 in Jan 09 am 174 now and heading for 167lbs by May 31st 09.  We both do the cleanses whenever we plateau, we never use pills but only good natural foods.  We try to focus on organic foods too.  Our meat during this diet is only poultry..no fish either.  Here in Canada we have the Bulk  food Barn and I like going there and finding all kinds of new grains, cereals and other new foods.  We are finding things like Hemp hearts, have more omega's than fish and no mercury poisoning or water pollution either.  The super power of veggies, fruits, grains and cereals...we watch carefully.  We try to maintain a 1200 calorie limit per day.

Our exercise is moderate..we walk mostly but do the 100 steps a minute formula and try to walk this pace for 30 minutes 3 times a week.  We do not drink a lot of water because I see no point going to the bathroom every hour on the hour, especially when your at work.  We do not do a lot of vitamins as I have concluded natural foods are our best source when dieting.

So get back to that weight under 120...you will feel so much better and look really hot like my significant other does now.

Good luck

Here's a thought......try yoga as an alternative or supplement to your current exercise routine.  And, don't totally buy into the credo that you can't lose as you get older....I'm getting ready to hit 52 and have finally taken off the 25 pounds that I build up over the last 30-some years.  I wouldn't have given a penny for yoga, but now I'm a convert.  And you don't have to be a guru to do it...30-45 minuites 5 times a week of gentle practice at home is my mantra.

Good luck!

Thank you for your reply, themassageguy. I am just afraid that reducing my calories from what I am currently eating, about 1300-1400 on a more moderate exercise regime, is not the best idea for me. As someone who found restricting calories addictive, I can too easily fall back into that routine. I feel that I am already in a starvation mode that I cannot seem to break and reducing calories makes me want to reduce even more.

gypsyatheart, I have a yoga video that I might break out and try again. I am not fond of yoga, but then I never really have given it much chance. I will try it out after I give myself some serious rest. I plan on just doing a stretching DVD that I have to keep flexible while giving myself some down time from exercise.

Thanks for all the ideas. If what I am doing is not working, then I need to change what I am doing and try something else.

After reading your story one thing sticks out to me, you say you keep gaining weight and that you are lifting heavier weights, muscle weighs more than fat, so the heavier weights you lift developing more muscle the more the numbers will go up. You also don't want to restric things too much and continue intense exercise because your body will go into survival mode and then it doesn't matter what you put into your body, fruits, vegetables, healthy things are going to be stored as fat. The reason I say this is because I used to have a very physical job and I developed alot of muscle, which I thought would be better, however when I went to my doctor for a check up he was shocked when I got on the scale because I weighed way more than he expected prompting him to say I was "overweight" for my age, height and bone structure. Anyway thought I would let you know that a similar thing happened to me and I agree with everyone who says you should change things up, your body does get used to things over time. Good luck to you.

Meldash, thank you for your reply. I agree that muscle is more dense than fat and so takes less to weigh the same. I have good muscle tone, not bulky by any means, and unfortunately, covered with this obnoxious layer of marshmallow cream. I don't think I am gaining any more muscle weight for two reasons: One is that to gain muscle one has to be in a calorie credit not deficit and I don't eat enough to reach that. The second reason is that my clothes are good and then do not fit, but not in a good way.

I just don't know what to do anymore. I have asked a few nutritionists about my predicament and I keep hearing the "Eat 5-6 small meals a day, eat protein with every meal, keep the calories around 1200-1500 a day and exercise more." There is just no way I can get in any more exercise, and I don't think that is the answer anyway, for me at least.

Thank you all for your replies. I think I really need to back off the exercise for a bit and start over. The contestants on The Biggest Loser lose large numbers in the first week because they are shocking their bodies by doing something totally different than they have done in years, if ever. So I think, if I can stand it, I need to rest and feed my body as best as possible for a few weeks and then start back into exercise. I think I will save my gym dollars and buy P90X. I have P90 and like the program, so I think I would like P90X.