I need help!

Hi!

So, I'm trying to recover from anorexia. When I started recovery a month ago I was 5"3 and weighed 83 pounds. I now weigh 95 pounds. I know that means weight gain, and I"m cool with it, but I've got a ton of questions and a problem.

The problem: Lately, when there aren't people in the house, I tend to go to the kitchen and just eat. And eat. And EAT. I'm talking tons of peanut butter, nutella, pasta, cheese - not healthy stuff. Part of me says it's okay, because I need to gain weight, but the more logical part knows that I"m going about it the wrong way.

How can I gain weight in a healthy way? And, if I still want to maintain a skinny profile, when should I stop gaining weight?

Please, I need support and advice - I'm really in a bad place right now.

welcome , your not alone in this problem , i felt like i was never going to be able to stop eating, its the bodies natural response to starvation . the onlyway to beat this is to eat 3 meals and three snacks consistantly i dont know what you have been eating but 2500 is a good starting point , although if you have been eating alot  less it is better to do it gradually i say this as you may develop refreeding symdrome . by trying this out for a week you can see how your weight goes you may gain on this or you may need to increase this if the weight gain slows down. by doing this you will be repairing some of the damage and will get your metabolism working . it will be hard resisting the urge to binge but as your body starts to become less starved this will subside . i dont know what you activity level is . your bmi is 16.8 so you definitely need to gain 20 is a good aim for this is the lower range of the healthy range and you will still be very slim , you may need to be higher, try not to worry about that just yet just focus on getting yourself back on track . are you having any theapy at the moment ? i would certainly recommend seeing your doctor and if you arnt attending op for eating i dont think you will be able to deal with this on your own . its gonna be a battle but you can do it , and you have everyones support on here h x

Original Post by belacqua12:

I"m going about it the wrong way.

How can I gain weight in a healthy way?

This is a common misconception with people in recovery.  That somehow there's a right way and wrong way to eat more food.  Or there's the right sort of food to eat and the wrong sort.  Or you can gain weight in a 'healthy way' or an 'unhealthy way'.    It's really not as stark a choice as any of these suggests.  The most unhealthy thing is to remain underweight..... that trumps all of them

Ideally, try to get regular good-sized meals and snacks from now on, as many different kinds of foods as you've got access to (including really great things things like pasta, nutella, cheese and so forth) and hit a minimum of 2500 cals a day (more like 2800 if you're under 21).  If you're still hungry at any point, eat some more and don't feel guilty about it.

And you have to beware of desires to maintain a 'skinny profile'... that's going to hold you back if you start putting that above the need to get healthy again.  The above post is right.  The minimum target for a person in recovery is a BMI of 20... in your case that's about 114lbs - and that's just the minimum.

If you haven't done so already, do see a doctor for a physical check.  The damaged caused by being underweight and malnourished for any length of time is not always immediately obvious.   Good luck

Hey belacqua, I'm in the same situation and find myself doing the exact same thing! You know in your head it's ok to eat this stuff, but it feels wrong just standing in the pantry while no one's looking and eating like a maniac. I find the best way to deal with this is to take the food you want away from the kitchen and eat it on a plate, sitting down, like a meal. You still get the calories you need to gain but mentally its not quite so exhausting. 

I'm not sure about you but I think the reason I 'binge eat' is because I still don't eat enough calorie dense foods during the day, and have to catch up later at night, so maybe increasing your set meals will help?

good luck! xo

Omg I know how you feel 100%! This was so me!

Ask yourself if you are eating enough without your binges. "Enough" is different for everybody. The very minimum is 2500 calories for a sedentary female around your height. Some people need more, even 4000 calories and higher. Obviously you will binge if you aren't eating enough. Just experiment with increasing your calories, or talk with a nutritionist if you can. 

Are you eating enough protein (a minimum of 80 grams)? Protein holds you over. Are you eating enough fat (25-35% of your diet)? Fat satisfies you. I used to binge on stuff like a whole watermelon, the huge kind, a whole cantaloupe, and around 10 cups of frozen fruit a night. Then I started eating ice cream, lol! A cup of ice cream has a ton less calories than all of that put together, and doesn't leave me wanting more. I wanted the volume to satisfy me, but I had it wrong. 

Even if you are eating enough and you are getting protein and fat, you may still have cravings and binges. This is normal. Your body just wants food! Food tastes so good, and you've been deprived of it. Your body also wants to fix all the physical things that are broken, which requires more food. Eating regularly helps, but don't beat yourself up when you binge. It will end eventually, just be patient. 

Also, please don't think that peanut butter and cheese are unhealthy foods! The only unhealthy choice you could possibly make is to restrict, or to believe that some foods are bad for you. Peanut butter is a super health food, anyway, and cheese is all natural. Did you know you have to get saturated fats to get your period? Also your brain is mostly made of saturated fats, so that's what you need to restore your brain. But as for the pure "junk" foods, they're still good. The fun thing about gaining is that you need a ton of calories. You need a certain amount of fat, protein, complex carbs, vitamins, whole grains, etc., but then you still have calories left. No matter what you eat it's just going to be metabolized or turned into fat or muscle. What you eat doesn't make a difference at all. I'm sitting here eating 300 calories worth of cottage cheese (1 cup) because I need the protein, but now that I have all the protein I need for the day and still want another 300 calories, I intend to have a cup of ice cream later. It does the exact same thing, really.