I need help.

I've been overweight since I was born, and I've been stressing about my weight and trying to diet since I was 12. My diets have always failed because I can never stay with them for more than a week. I'm doing well on my current diet. It's been a month, and I haven't given up yet. I've lost 11.8lbs, even though I can't stop binging. Almost every day, I try to eat 1300 calories, but I end up eating around 3,000. This leads to purging, which I do 4-5 times a day... My throat hurts so much...

Why can't I stop binging?

We have a plethera of junk food in our kitchen. We always have cookies, soda, muffins, tons of frozen unhealthy foods. My step-mom buys doughnuts for her kids almost every morning, which I end up eating because they're always just sitting in our kitchen. I know I have enough self control to not eat it, but I always end up eating it anyway.

What can I do?

I can't just ask my step-mom to stop buying junk because I'm deathly afraid of the woman and avoid talking to her at all costs. I don't think her kids would be too happy if I asked her to stop buying it anyway.

I don't eat unhealthy food when I'm at school. I do really well with my diet until I come home.

Is there anything I can do to stop binging at home?

I'm 17, and I've never been skinny. My goal is 130lbs, and I weigh 186 right now.

I think I need a weight-loss buddy to lose weight with. I don't think I'd binge if I had to go through the shame of telling someone how horribly I fail each day...


Iunno. v.v

chewing gum may help ok lets say your looking at a donut and your mind is telling you to take it or w.e just grab a peice of gum and chew on that it will help you alot mate make sure its sugar free gum though

*glances at the 8 packs of orbit on my desk and blows a bubble with the piece currently in my mouth*

I'll be sure to try that. =|

How tall are you?

I'm 18 5"2 currently 182lbs after loosing 16 since late august.

As for junk food, do you have enough money to but some snacks, or ask to get some healthy fruit and veg in and keep it in your room.

As for purging I strongly suggest you try not to, even if you do eat over your calorie limit it's not the end of the world and it's really bad for you as your body doesn't know if when you're eating it's actually going to get to absorb it or not so it really screws up your metabolism.

You say you have the willpower to say no, I was in the same boat, I knew I could say not I just didn't particularly want to, it was easier just to eat. When you feel like that stop for a second and ask, is it worth it? Am I hungry? Do I want the weight loss to be in vain. Like tonight my mum kept offering me chips. I ate one small one to fill my satisfaction and then excused myself from the room and went to have  healthy snack.

Good Luck

Chia

I'm 5'6"

I do buy healthy food and stash it in my room, but it's pretty useless when I can't stop eating all the junk in my kitchen.

If I didn't purge, I'd weigh like 300lbs right now... I don't think I'll be able to stop purging...

I can't stop before I eat and think about what I'm doing to my diet. Eating junk is pretty mindless for me. There's no thought involved...

Just a FYI, the calories are almost 100% digested by the time you purge, so actually, it isn't causing you to stay thinner.

Lies!

It's the truth.  That is why it goes so undetected,  99% of people who suffer from bulimia are average to overweight.

Most people find out that they purge because of emotions, the food is just the solid metaphor.

If you can figure out what emotions make you binge and purge, you may be able to stop it by doing something productive to replace that coping mechanism.

Google says you lie.

I binge when I'm content, sad, angry, or happy...

Get out of the house for as much of the day as you can manage. Go see your friends, go to the library, go to the park, walk along the river, go see a cheap movie, whatever.

And try for 1600-1800 calories a day, not 1300. When you shoot for too little, it causes anxiety and also physical hunger, and both together lead to binging. If you haven't gotten professional help for your bulimia, get some - binging and purging is an anxiety disorder, and it can be helped by a psychologist.

If you have a job, use your paycheque to buy fruits and vegetables for yourself, for snacks. If you don't have a job, get one (not fast food, please!). It'll be another thing to get you out of the house and away from the junk.

You can eat a lot of food in 1600-1800 healthy calories, enough to ensure that you never get hungry. You'll feel better AND you'll lose a pound a week (if you start getting active as well). It won't be that fast of a loss, but people with a history of binging can't let themselves get too aggressive with calorie counting -  too much restriction will always lead to binging.

And here's the tricky part. You HAVE to stop purging. Purging is the truly dangerous behaviour here, much more than the binging. Even if you binge, you must NOT purge. It is honestly better for your health (both physical and mental) to gain a bit of weight, rather than to purge five times a day. I know you don't see that right now, but trust me on this. You will NOT be 300 pounds if you stop purging - the purging actually makes you more likely to binge again later. Purging (let's call it what it is, please - PUKING) takes away the pavlovian consequence of the binge - if you actually have to sit around for hours and hours with an aching stomach, so full that it hurts, you will be LESS likely to binge as often. It will happen subconsciously - you will associate binging with the pain and won't do it as much.

To avoid eating doughnuts in the morning? Plan a healthy breakfast that you like, that has about 250-300 calories in it (including a fair amount of protein, please), and eat it every day, like clockwork, even weekends. Soon it will be so routine, such a habit, that other foods won't tempt you at that time - you will have trained your own brain. Maybe a boiled egg, a piece of toast with a tablespoon of jam or preserves, a fruit, and a small glass of milk? Or maybe a measured bowl of cereal with milk, and a fruit with a bit of extra protein (tablespoon of peanut butter, small piece of cheese)? Something that is innocuous, i.e. that you won't get sick of.

Website where it says I'm lying please?  Link?

If you really want help, you're going to need to speak to a doctor and then get referred to a psychologist.  We are just people on a weight loss website.  Yes there are people here who suffer like you, but they can't fix your problems. 

Good luck.

When I was younger, about third-fourth grade, my mom went through a divorce and I had to go stay with my dad for about a month.  The woman he was married to at the time was absolutely horrible.  She HATED kids, and defintily hated me.  My dad was working 12 hour days so I was with her the majority of the time.  She would buy oreos and just let me pig out on them all day, I was too young to know what was going on.  I know it's not exactly the same situation you're in, but I do know how you feel about eating the junk food because it's there and not being able to talk to your stepmom.  So if you need someone, I'm here, and I'm 17 too :) And it was what started me on my junk food addiction.

This is just an idea, and I've never binged & purged, so I'm not sure, but here it goes.  If you're normally eating 3000 calories a day, trying to cut that back by more than half is a huge adjustment.  Maybe try taking it in steps?  Like this week aim for 2500 calories a day, and then if you get that for a while then 2000 calories a day? And just keep going down slowly but surely until you get to 1300-1400.  And maybe try making lunch a larger (yet still healthy) meal at school so you're less hungry when you get home?

Nocture, none of the sites I've visited say that purging doesn't get rid of calories.  Do you have a website where it says you're not lying?

Thanks, trustwomen. Those are some good ideas, but I don't have any friends to go places with, and I don't want to walk 5 miles every day to go sit in a park just to get away from food.

1600-1800 is too much. I'd only lose like 25lbs a year... I'm not hungry with 1300 calories, and when I do eat healthy foods, it's pretty hard to even get to 1300 a day. I think I'll stay with 1300.

It would be way too embarassing to admit to people that I have an eating disorder. Everyone in my family really made fun of my mom when they found out that she has bulimia..

I don't have a job, but I get money from my dad to buy healthy food for myself every month. It doesn't help when I'm tempted by junk 24 hours a day though.

I know that purging is horrible for me. My throat feels like it's wasting away and my teeth are really screwed up... The only way I'll stop purging is if I stop binging, so I'm just trying to stop binging.

I plan out my food each day, and it has really helped me. I just mess up a lot.

I really just need someone to tell me to stop being a fricken' retard and stop binging...

I'm sorry, but I just have to point something out, just as I would to my teenage kids.  Mosh, Nocturne is not LYING to you.  She is being helpful and providing information.  If that turns out to be incorrect, so be it, but telling her repeatedly that she is lying to you is just plain rude.

As far as your problems, go, take personal responibility and put more emotional energy into it.  Be proud if you go three hours without a binge, then four, then a whole day, and so on.  Just keep clear of the garbage, and enlist your Dad's help- he loves you, and will want what's best no matter what.

Sorry about the "mom"  like threadjack, but...

Hm. I'm just going to go cry in bed for a couple hours. Maybe I'll feel better after.


Thanks for posting, everyone.
But now I'm just completely depressed.

Purging is much worse than bingeing.

It absolutely destroys your teeth and the lining of your throat if you keep doing it. A family friend who is a dentist showed us pictures of the mouth and teeth of a bulimia patient. Not pretty.

You have to stop purging for the sake of your health. There are two types of bulimia - it sounds like you may have the purging type. the following can happen to you if you don't get help immediately:

malnutrition, dehydration, electrolyte imbalance, vitamin deficiencies, teeth erosion and cavities, gum disease, potential of gastric rupture, etc. etc. do some research on the internet if you don't believe me (wikipedia)

and calories are absorbed quickly so purging is pretty ineffective. try exercising instead! or when you think of eating a few sweets, say to yourself, "i can have it tomorrow" and keep putting it off.

You need to stop purging. When you stop purging, your body and brain will train itself to binge less. Seriously. Stop the puking - when you binge, live with it. Yes, it'll be a truly miserable few hours - that's the point. That's what will help you resist the binge next time. Every time you puke, you are making it MORE likely that you will binge again soon.

Get a part-time job - you will get out of the house, be more independent, and gain some confidence.

You don't have to admit to your family that you have an ED. Talk to your school nurse or counselor, there is certainly a way that you can keep it confidential.

1600-1800 is NOT too much. First of all, I put your stats in the expenditure calculator - with light activity, you burn 2300 calories a day. This means that a steady diet of 1600-1800 cals will have you losing a pound a week. You didn't get overweight overnight, and it's unrealistic to expect to become slim overnight. So eating that many calories (in healthy food) plus taking an hour-long walk every day, would be a perfect plan for losing all your desired weight in a year. It would give you enough food that you'd never feel the need to binge, and would get you active and out of the house.

But even if you decide to be totally sedentary, and only burn 2000 calories a day, it would take two years to lose your weight, as you say. Honestly, a 25-lb loss per year would be great, it's better than you have been doing so far (i.e. since you were 12), no? The trick is to keep it HEALTHY and SUSTAINABLE. This is NOT happening with your 1300-a-day plan. Sure, on some days it seems fine, but overall it makes your body WANT to binge, by depriving it of necessary fuel.  If you keep doing what you're doing, you will damage your health (from the purging) and will be the same weight next year.

And STOP associating moral values with food or fat. Stop being hard on yourself - you're not being weak or evil, you're just being dumb and shallow. The dumb is in the puking, not the eating. The shallow is in caring about the number on the scale more than your health, i.e. refusing to stop a dangerous behaviour because you're afraid of the number changing.

I wrote this in another thread:
"We need to approach this process from self-love: wanting to be healthy because we want to live long, fulfilling, useful lives. If we approach it from self-hate (OMG I'm so fat and gross), we are doomed to fail - after all, "success" at weight loss would mean being able to hate yourself 24/7! Even if you can do that (and most can't), what a bitter victory.

Whereas if we come at it from self-love, we still won't be perfect but we'll forgive ourselves - and the better our mental state, the lower our weight will be.  It will be a crescendo of growth (becoming healthier and loving yourself even more and becoming more motivated to keep going) rather than just a cycle (hating yourself enough to lose some weight, then hating yourself less and therefore abandoning your "punitive" habits - because you associate eating healthy with punishing yourself - and then gaining the weight back. Rinse, repeat)."

You will take from this what you take from this, I have no control over that. But try not to harm your health, please. Stop purging right now, even if you don't stop binging.

hi

mosh, i think i know quite exactly how you feel.....i´m going through the same depression thing right now....i did that b/p circle when i was younger...sometimes even now...but it got really rare....and i know how hard it is not to do it, how weird it feels to have all those cals in you...but, it is worth to work on it...and its definitly worth to works through a depression...easier said than done!

if you want to talk to someone, feel free to write me!

bye

 btw. purging is nothing anybody does because he or she does not know how unhealthy it is.......i always hated it that much if there was so much pressure....like, thats so unhealthy, your teeth, your stomache, your electrolytes.....