I need help...

I have never done this before. I am fat and I need help. I am out of control. People think I have my life together: a decent career, a good husband, almost finished with school, living overseas and they think I am happy and very fortunate. I am but I am out of control when it comes to my dieting and eating. I just turned 30 and I am the heaviest I have EVER been and I don't know what to do. I can't turn to my family or my husband...I don't know where to go, I don't know what to do. I have been on the Red Bracelet Project site and looking at all that pro ana stuff, hoping to god I could become anorexic. I know how stupid and **** that sounds, I really do! In other parts of my life, I really am not that dumb. I love to read and study and I know being overweight is bad for you. A lot of my family has diabetes, have had limbs amputated and have died from heart attacks. I know that over eating and being obese can kill me. I know all the ramifications but I still over eat. I still eat huge portions and I can't stop. OMG...I am so **** out of control it is disgusting. I don't know I am like this. I can go long periods without eating too. I mean I rarely eat at work....I don;t eat breakfast but ****, when I get home, I'm like a tasmanian devil. Even when I started eating breakfast and then eating lunch at work, I am still famished when I come home. And sometimes I find myself eating mindlessly in front of my computer after I had dinner and didn't know I even got something to eat. What am I going to do with my blubber ass! I have access to a free gym and I don't go. I am so ashamed when people look at me. And then you know what I do? Go home and eat more...I need help and I'm puring my emotions on the line here...I didn't use my real name and no one will ever know I am on here but it's now or never. I feel if I can't get it under control

I'm going to die.

Just me,

The mere fact that you are here and asking for help is a great thing!  This is a wonderful group and I just love this site! 

It sounds like the 1st thing for you to do is to start eating during the day and not saving it all for the night.  Even if it's just small things, your body should not be forced to starve all those hours.

Do you have a nutritionist or Dr that you can talk to?  Start using CC right away and start monitoring how much you are taking in and then start (with a Dr's care), working on exercises so you can be burning more as well.

I doubt any of us are dumb and yet here we sit, overweight and finally doing something about it.  You would think it would be something so simple.  However I believe we all have bad habits and it's a matter of getting ourselves over them and into good habits.

Please stick around, please ask questions, please holler if you need someone and start working with your Dr or a Nutritionist so you can start eating better, for  you!!!

Hugs

Oh my...

Thank you for responding back so fast! I WILL ask questions and I am going to get a doctor (I currently don't have one and I do not go regularly). Thanks again...you'll be seeing a lot of me!

I hope we will be hearing alot from you and seeing a lot less of you...LOL

OK, that was corny weigh loss humor but it is what it is!

Time for me to finish laundry and then go out for my walk before the football game at 4....Good luck to you today!

Samantha

Just being here, acknowleding is a great step.

This isn't a diet, it isn't fast.... it is a lifestyle change, and it is for the rest of your life.

It isn't easy in the begining.. actually... i'm like 5 weeks in with CC + gym, and... dunno not easy yet :D One day at a time.

I'm still updating all the food in my house. Like when the mayo was gone last time it got replaced with light, simple small thing.

I eat something for breakfast almost every day, and I force myself. I can't remember the last time I was hungry in the morning and ate breakfast. Then when I decided I needed to be eating breakfast... that going to bed at like midnight and not eating anything until maybe 3-4 pm - why is it ok to go 15 HOURS without eating? It's not.

I was worried I would eat breakfast.... and come night time, when I would consume all my calories + some, I would eat just as much as if I hadn't eatten anything that morning.... and it would make me gain weight. Seriously? I was already gaining weight!

Eat anything you want, healthy choice, for breakfast. This morning I ate a weight watchers chicken and cheese quesadila for breakfast (this is a common accurance). Cereal? That's sometimes and after dinner snack.

Eat something in the morning, take your lunch, have a midmorning snack, and an afternoon snack, and even an after diiner snack. Plan it out and see how your hunger level does. 7am eat, 10:30 eat, noon eat, 3pm eat, 6pm eat, 9 pm eat even if at first you still eat more in the evening it won't last. You will adjust. Don't make any drastic or extreme changes, but little by little :)

Welcome!

When you are just starting out, it can be intimidating and seem like you're at the bottom of a huge hill.  The person that got me inspired was Tyler over here:

http://www.344pounds.com/

He started back in January and uses his blog for accountability. He posts weekly weigh-in results (including a video) and it is neat to go back to the beginning and see the progress as he has already lost 120lbs.

I am really happy to see you here....

With that said, I have only been here 4 weeks and let me tell you, its hard to change EVERYTHING about you, like KDH(i think) said take small things at a time not EVERYTHING at once.... It would be SOO expensive to do everything at once and if you lost all the weight at once then it would be muhc harder to keep it off...

Remember this is a life style change not a diet... Thats what I keep saying to myself.... LIFE STYLE CHANGE! 

Best of luck!!!

Ellen

LIFE STYLE CHANGE....got it! I DO have to keep remembering that...thanks!

Thanks for the advice and the time guidelines...I REALLY have to get into eating breakfast! I already purchased a lunchbox for myself and I am going to use it. I hate wasting money, so if I bought it...I'm going to use it.

: - )

Wow 67alecto...

Holy crap, he's lost 120 lbs in 10 months...that's huge and fast...I bookmarked that site! Thanks for sharing!

Dear just me here,

 Honest to God I was right where you were several weeks ago.  I just was so out of control.  I am an emotional eater and it just didn't seem like I could make it through even one day.  I too searched the internet for help, and also searched pro ana hoping to somehow "learn" to become anorexic.  How crazy is that right?    I stumbled upon Judith Beck's website when I was looking for a workshop or something to help me.  I liked the hope there and went online and bought her newsest book ...used. ( "used" shows how low my commitment and hope was )     It has been diificult, but it is so right I can't tell you the relief I am feeling.  I was so bottomed out.  I am on my way out of this group, however when I found your post I related so much I thought I would let you know what is helping me.  I have done it all and I am convinced no one was feeling lower about themselves and more hopeless than I was a few weeks ago.  This program has empowered me and is changing my view about food and other things as well.  Willingness is what it takes. Best of luck in your journey.  Pleas email me is you wish at psssrs@live.com

one more thing....the "Beck" book is lifestyle change and calorie counting so it works with the diet tips here.  What it adds are the "cognitive" exercises that help change your thinking about the food.  She has you keep a "deck" of index cards that you write all the reasons and advantages of losing weight and also response cards that give you a reinforcing response to read when you tell yourself stuff like, "just a taste won't hurt".  Hope that clarifies for you.  I don't want people to think I am pushing  a different diet program, what she offers compliments most of what you read here.  She encourages people to visit support groups online and help yourself anyway you can.  Good Luck! 

Justme,

How nice to meet you.  You are not going to die, unless you decide to.  It isn't easy getting your habits in control, but no one is going to do it for you.  Here is my best suggestion.  Don't try to change everything at once.  You didn't get into this shape overnight, you aren't going to get into shape overnight either.

Change one thing.  Do it today.  For instance, since your problem seems to be eating when you get home from work, then start substituting one good food for one of your worst offenders.  For instance, if you are still drinking drinks with sugar, then substitute equal or splenda, or some other zero calorie drink, like diet coke or iced tea or water.  By the way are you drinking the water you need each day?  That is one change you could make.

Anyway, when you have changed that one habit for two weeks, then add another good habit and drop one bad one.  Perhaps throw out the potato chips and add carrot chips.  Or perhaps stop eating fried chicken and instead pull all the breading off your fried chicken before you eat it.

You say you know what you are doing, so consciously start changing your habits one at a time until you are satisfied with that.  Then you can start cutting back your calories if you even need to by then.  Perhaps just going to that gym and walking on the tread mill.  Take your kids with you and make it a family outing.

Hi my name is Alan(Bro.Roy) on here, and I feel you about the constant battle of weight most of us wage. I have been obese for most of my life, and I know all too well the stigma of being a "Fat person".  I have tried everything with little or lasting success.  I have always been athletic, popular, funny and creative. But none of that mattered when it came to meeting new people. Invariably  I was judged by my size. I married a wonderful lady who loved me regardless of my size and we have a wonderful family together, many church friends who adore us, but something was missing. At the age of 45, I realized that my health was deteriorating. I was diagnosed with Type II Diabetes, High Blood Pressure, and back pain. In 2007 I weighed 412lbs. I decided to join this calorie count website I stumbled upon. I loosely followed the guidelines and had moderate success. I lost about 28lbs in 6 months, but that was not fast enough for me so I fell off. I had joined a gym and worked out 4 days a week and couldn't believe the weight wasn't coming off faster. I knew nothing of set points and plateaus then. In jan of this year I decided to make this year a year of commitment. I have truly used this website to my full advantage, truthfully documenting my eating habits even if I have a bad day. I now workout 6 days a week, have soup and salad twice a week. I have lost58 since Jan 5th and while some months are slower than others, I average 5lbs of weight loss per month. I have found how little food I can eat and still be satisfied. I am a very picky eater but with the recipe feature, I can enter the foods I do like and find a healthy way to prepare them. Now I do weigh myself evreryday at the gym on the same scale,because it does in fact hold me accountable for any bad days. Weekends were especially tough for me because I could gain 5lbs in two days. It would only take about three days to lose it again, but I couldn't help thinking where I would be without the bad weekend days.  So now on saturdays I do three hours of cardio, and on sunday's and 3 evenings a night, I lift light weights in the basement. Obesity is not a passive condition so it must be attacked aggressively. If you don't like the results, then amp it up a bit. This is a battle in every sense of the word. I have found that you must constantly challenge your body because it will get used to your routine. I just want to remind you that YOU can control what goes into your mouth. My mantra is "Kickin Genetics'Ass" That is what I have resolved to do. I know my family has a problem with weight, but have seen none of them attack it! I am now down to 322lbs and pressing towards 300 which I hope to reach by dec.9. It will not be easy,but I enjoy the challenge.I hope to be a strong 250lbs by this time next year.  And do not forget to add God in your battle. We have a deal. I'll do the work, and he will provide the results. I am praying for you.

JustMe,

I could have written that same thing you wrote...I am probably one of the heaviest people on this site..Four and 1/2 weeks ago I could not get out of bed because I was so swollen with fluid, my heart was racing and I thought I was dying..I decided right then that this was it..Get up and lose the weight or die.

I decided that my family meant more to me than food and I wanted to stick around and watch my grandkids grow up and grow old with my husband.

I have lost 18 pounds in 4 weeks by logging every little thing I eat in the food log and writing in the journal..I am making myself accountible for the first time in a very long time..There are so many people here who have encouraged me the last few weeks.

When I say I know how you feel, I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL.. Everything that you just said I have felt.

We can do this...We can get our lives back and feel good about ourselves again..I really haven't offered much advice, but I can tell you that all these people who have written a reply really care,  including me.

We are all here because we have 10 pounds to lose or 205 like me.

But I am not giving up and I don't want you to either..I sign off on my journal every day with "One day at a time - One thing at a time".

67,

Tyler is inspiring for me, too.

Just for me,

Taking your lunch is a big step.  I take healty choice meals and Dole fruit cup for lunch.  I take v8 juice and mini delights for one snack, an apple for another snack and lots of water.  I look like a homeless person with my old Walmart bag full of food.

Broroy,

How nice to meet you.  You sound like you have this well in hand.  I congratulate you on your weight loss. 

I agree.  Weight loss is a battle.  I find for myself that the battle is in my mind.  Most of the time I am winning now instead of lossing.  I am listening to that voice of reason in my mind that tells me how to behave.  I am listening to my conscience.  To my emotions that sometimes want to wreck what I am doing, I am taking a strong hand in turning them into friends instead of enemies.

I know that sound very nebulous, but it is so true.  I am using my imagination to my good.  For instance, out of nowhere the other day I was driving and I thought...I sure would like a rootbeer float.  I just could see and taste and smell that float and remembered how good they are.   So, I caught that thought and told my imagination to put that thought away from me and instead imagine how nice I will look in a swimsuit next summer! or how much better my knees will feel with more weight gone and the urge went away.

Anyway, I'm going to hush now... but just wanted to make a comment on our battle and tell you how nice it is to hear your voice.

Lyntex,

Are you a Texas gal too?  Just wondering.   Your heart has to be so happy with that extra weight gone!!!  Did you know that every pound of weight you lose takes 4 pounds of pressure off your knees (or so I've read)  I can tell you my 2 titanium knees are so much better.

Be careful and go to your doctor.  Watch your blood levels as you lose.  If you have heart trouble you should be especially careful.  While you are losing that extra water weight especially you can lose potassium which makes your heart tend to be irregular.  If it goes too low, it can really give your trouble.

OK, that said...if you haven't visited your doc.  Do so.

Thank you for writing me IBECKFORME and thank you for sharing this book with me. I am going to check this out! I will keep your e-mail handy if I have any questions too!

Texmom52...

YES, YES, YES....you are right and I am taking my lunch now. I purchased a lunch box and I am going to use it! Also, you were spot on about the sugary sodas; it's like a habit, I have a meal so now I must drink a soda too! No, it's just extrea calories that I don't need. I haven't drank a soda in two days and I really don't miss them. I ended up pouring them all down the drain. I hate wasting money so that really did a number on my brain!! I am not going to even buy them anymore. But what about juices and juice boxes. I normally drink Capri Sun and Minute maid. I know the German Capri Sonne (I live in Germany) has less sugar than the American version but are these okay to drink? They have about 90 calories per pouch!