I Need Your Help. Please!

So I have a little story to tell before i start my pleading.

This makes my 3rd try at loosing weight. The first time was about 2 years ago and it ended because i got pregnant, but i did manage to loose 25 lbs before that happened and i was so proud of myself. Time number 2 was just a few months ago and it ended because no one in my house cared (i live with my in-laws) and dieting by yourself is extremely hard, at least for me it is, and so i quit. So the begining of this is makes time number 3 and i told myself that if i haven't lost the weight or at least made a significant effort by the end of July I'm going to quit for good.

So this is where i need your help. Motivation is a huge factor for me, I don't have any and i believe that is partially why my previous efforts have failed. But i CANNOT fail this time. I have to do this but i need some help. I need some people to help me get my butt in gear when all i want to do is give up. Please! I need this.

Thank you for reading,

Ashley

I hear you! I have a husband who is is the food business and loves to cook and bring home goodies!  Temptations all around.  I'm miserable.  I've never weighed this much in my life!  But we can perservere!  My goal is to lose 30 lbs. by spring.  We can do it together!

welcome back, ashley.     ( : 

cc is the one thng that helped me go from 230 - 152  (still trying to get to 150 after months this close, but hey ---   not bad)....................    I've lost and gained 100's of lbs in my lifetime.    I can lose it  --  I just let it always come back for some reason.    I realized when I turned 30 that life was going to pass me by whether I was fat or not.  And I just finally decided NOT ----   started walking  (((((I THINK EXERCISE IS KEY FOR ME))))) and made other small changes at first.....   stopped drinking diet soda and switched to water/crystal light/tea, counted calories and learned the cal counts on my usual foods so I am a dang good estimator when it comes to my eating, contol on my portions and jsut better food choices over all.    more fruit and veg vs. pizza and microwave junk.  you know the good stuff!!   and I tried to make cooking more fun --- try new foods, find yummy lower cal subs for my favorite unhealthy foods....    I wonder.... would your inlaws really hate if you cooked a healthy, low cal meal for them?   maybe everyone would get on the bandwagon.  : D  

I'm always online at night if you need to vent.     I am a good cheerleader --  Olivia    

PS: I always think about that little, blue fish named Dory in FInding Nemo?   she is so silly and forgetful and just funny like me...   she has to tell herself to "keep on swimming" so she won;t stop ------  I use that when I work out (and lately live life -- or try to) when I want to quit.   JUST KEEP ON SWIMMING>    I bet you are a great mom and wife and stuff and take care of everyone else.  take care of you too!!!    it's about finding a balance that works for you.  

One of the greatest feelings in the world is to not fall into temptations. You will feel really good about yourself when the craving goes away!

No quitting! Think of how many years you are going to be in your body. If you are doing your thing and losing weight and then you give in one day and, say, eat 3 chocolate cakes, that still doesn't mean it's time to quit eating healthy! It means, oops, I sure screwed up today, I will certainly eat better tomorrow! It's not a now or never kind of thing. It almost sounds as if you are expecting to fail. Stop it! It's exciting to be making a change and starting on the journey to a healthier body in which to live for many years to come! :-)

Do something really do-able, not too restrictive. You want to enjoy what you eat so that you are choosing healthier but still delicious things. I think that one reason that people "quit" is because in an effort to lose weight, they deprive themselves of too much, and they are not enjoying what they are eating. For instance, super low carb diets. Maybe some people enjoy them (?) , but I would sooner put on weight than eat my burgers without buns my whole life!

Backbone.... I'd suggest you start getting more assertive with your family... including those in-laws.  It's unacceptable that no-one cares about your feelings or wants to help you be healthy and lose weight.  Stand up for yourself... demand some respect.  Insist that your husband does the same.  He's meant to be on your side after all....

Rather than 'dieting by yourself' how about offering to do the grocery shopping and cook healthy meals for the whole family from time to time?  And how about sparking up some conversations in the household about healthy lifestyles?  I'm guessing at least some of the people you live with are also overweight or unhealthy... could do with a kick up the rear?  You don't want your children subjected to a diet of junk either.   If you point out a few home-truths you may find they start taking you more seriously or you can embarrass them into making some changes for the better. 

Finally... if you don't lose weight by July, so what?   If you quit all it means is that you'll descend into a fat, miserable old age, suffering from avoidable diseases, stumping around after your kids wishing you didn't feel so out of breath.  And who in their right mind wants that?  

Stick to your plan for all the benefits. Don't say a word to those in-laws and politely refuse extra helpings, 2nds, and eating junk....no reason just refuse. Then when you begin changing and losing they will notice and get mad. They will probably make claims that you are hurting yourself or losing too much but the reality will be that they are jealous. I've been through that with my own relatives. Sooner or later they will ask your advice!!

starmom6: sounds like we are in the same boat. I just wish i had the will power to refuse it all

Janay101: Way to go on your acomplishment of losing the weight. I'm hoping i can say the same when all is said and done. You seem like a very cool person, just the kind of person that i need on my side.

shinyblackpit: I know that i can't quit. That's why i am asking for help. I know that i have to be accountable for my own actions, i just need someone to make sure that i AM accouting for those actions and to help me stay on track. I know i cannot do this by myself. Oh, and i don't believe in super restrictive diets they don't work but my problem is finding the balance between celery and chocolate, if that makes any sense.

And to those who think i should talk to my inlaws... you don't know what my inlaws are like. They are hard headed, patronizing, not willing to change, or listen for that matter, my way or the highway kind of people. Talking to them about me wanting to lose weight and be healthier would be like talking to a brick wall. Not productive and a waste of time. The only reason we live here is because me and my husband can't afford to be out on our own quite yet. We became parents pretty early in life, but i would not trade my daughter for anything in this world, she is what keeps me going.   oops Sorry, i didn't mean to go off subject. Hope we can keep talking.

Ashley

thesilverstar121, my opinion on this is not going to be very popular, but the only person you can change is you. And if that change is going to come by you and your husband having to move out then so be it, you can always find somewhere you can afford, because if you didn't have your in-laws you would be living somewhere.

l think it is a copout to blame your weight issues on your in-laws, they didnt force you to eat anything that you didn't want to. But you can start now to make better choices and stick to it. l have been at this since Nov.5th and even though l am losing weight, it is not as fast as l would like it to be and l know l didnt get fat overnight and even it is not going to come off overnight. It takes time. Goodluck and dont be a quitter.

^^ I agree.  It sounds like you are living in an environment that's really toxic for you.  Either you need to convince them that you need their support, or at least their silence, or you need to find a way to get out.  They are doing you a great service by allowing you to live there, and make sure that they understand that you appreciate their help, but if you need more, than you need more.  And your husband needs to be on your team.  I know that this is his family, but he should be supporting you in this, even if it means politely disagreeing with his family, and helping you convince them of what you need to be happy and healthy.  (The first thing I learned in my marriage, support the home team, no matter what)

You'll be sure to find lots of support here, but the support of friends, family and, especially, your husband, is important as well.

Good luck.

woah fabnina... i never once said this is my inlaws fault. I've been overweight my whole life, why one earth would i blame this on them. Me being overweight is not their fault it's just a little harder to make good decisions because they do eat a lot of junk food and they aren't willing to change.

and thermal, my husband is supportive he just isn't helpful, if that makes any sense. He always tells me i can do it but he isn't very good at making the right, healthy decisions either... so you can see where the dilema comes in.

I did not come here looking for lectures and things of the sort... i came here looking for some people in the same boat as me hoping that we could help each out. I want this weight off my body once and for all, but i need some help to walk this journey, and i thought i could find it here.

miss ashley ---  been there and done that.  friend me, and come join one of my positive posts.  I get all the support I can ever use here with my cc girls!!!!

((((HUGS))) 

Hello everyone.  My name is Michelle.  I have actually been "dieting" for a long time just not hard core and I never really lose the weight, I just kinda stay the same.  When it comes to food, I have no will power.  That is why im here hoping to get some support on that.  I try to excersize but I know I need to do more.  My goal is to lose 30 pounds in the next 6 months.  That is when my beach vaca is.  Any help would be great!

That's exactly how most of my family is...they say that I can do it and they ask how I'm doing constantly, but no one really wants to change with me.  My mom's been over weight most of her adult life b/c she insists that she would rather be that way than never be allowed to eat anything.  My dad is one of those people who Looooove to run and lift weights, so he can easily eat upwards of 5,000 cals a day with no problem.  I don't live with my parents but I'm there alot.  I have a husband who is a "normal" man and can drop 5-10 lbs in 2 weeks if he stops drinking soda.  He's really supportive of me but isn't really interested in being "all healthy and stuff".  It's hard.

welcome michelle and wart ----    I find exercise to be the best part of this getting healthy thing, michelle.   ( :  If I workout, I feel less inclined to cheat or overeat and it gives me so much energy and makes me feel good.  Make it fun --- walk with a friend, borrow a dog, dance around to loud music for 30 minutes....  whatever

tough family, wart ---  it is hard.  do you do the cooking? I figure hubby should eat what you fix (= healthy!!  )   gosh.  boys are so stubborn 

Yes Welcome everyone to my little support group :) This is exactly what i needed. Nice people to help me through this when the times get rough. So just a quick question... What is everyone at right now and what are your goals? Just out of curiosity... maybe we're similar

(Hi Janay- I am not intentionally following you- I swear )

Silver- I am interested in knowing more about your situation- what about them makes it hard? Is it that they expect you to eat giant portions and are insulted if you don't? Would they be happy if you did some cooking (like someone mentioned before)? Would you be able to buy your own fruit and veggies and other healthy snacks? And how about time? Do you work all day, etc??

More details about what you think your limitations are and then maybe you can get more advice... I often find that when I try to come up with suggestions for others, I tend to help me too :)

and to answer your question- I am 150.8 and first goal is -7 lbs by Feb 14... a little over a lbs a week.... I also want to get in good aerobic condition as well as work on muscle...

I like it when you follow me, bella    :)    I was just wondering how you were.....

I agree, ashley  --- she asked some good questions.....  fill us in... 

I am at 152 right now, my first goal is to finally break the cursed 150 barrier, and then make my best effort to keep going.......  it's gotten a lot slower now than I am close to my goal weight.  150 was my goal when I started at 230.   I get so close, and then I think "I am so close" and I slack a little.  I WILL MAKE IT THIS TIME.   ( :     I am still working in goals like more toned arms and increasing my running distance.  Doing more active things in the evening besides read and watch tv.... I need to walk my dog more and go spend time with my friends who are remodeling their kitchen....   GOALS are good to have

the best motivation is to take a picture of yourself. (with very little on) and in a month take the same picture and compare...seeing is always believing. if you quit it will never be for good, it just makes it harder next time!

my future husband is the type that can eat and eat and eat and he doesnt get any weight (i hate that about him), i never let hom cook as he coks way too greasy, he puts butter and oil on everything, rarely does exercise (except a round of golf here and there), drinks alcohol... he doesnt gain weight.. how un fair!

Anyway, i told  him straight up, this life style is not healthy for the present or future (no kids yet), i have and will always haev to watch my weight and i am fully concsious about that, so i through out all cookies, snacks, sodas etc in the trash went out and bought fruits, carrots...

he complains a bit beacause for him there is nothing to eat in the fridge... ahaha.. no more junk food...

I made an exercise plan where both of us get a few days of exercise together, he does a bit of yoga (not really into it), and go to the driving range with him (i dont have the patience for that... hate it, but as he does yoga i do golf).. anyway, it has been much more fun to be the 2 of us involved, even if its a little bit and actually got us closer.. i wish we could be doing more.. of course it is difficult to stick to such a plan regularly as he makes excuses sometimes or i make excuses, ... then i finish way later then him etc..

I would find a friend that is lookign into losing some weight as well and go for walks, runs together, i surely wish i had that but quite difficult to find volunteers to work out after work (9pm)..

Thesilverstar - I wasn't trying to imply that your husband wasn't supportive, I was just highlighting what I personally think is important.  Since you don't live in a vaccum and your decisions affect you, your husband, your daughter and (to an extent) your in laws, I think it's important that everyone is on the same page, and that may need some pursuading of the in laws by your husband (I know my MIL is very opinionated and I find it really hard to disagree with her if I'm not positive that I'm going to be supported by my husband).  Again, not lecturing you, just letting you know what I find works and what I think is important.

Sintiachita - I love the driving range.  At first, when I really sucked and hit the ground more than I hit the ball, I hated it.  Then I got better aim and a stronger swing and I found it to be a really great way to relieve stress.  I think it's really awesome that you and your future husband are doing active things together, and that it's a good that you are splitting between something that you like and something that he likes.  Thanks for the good idea!  When my husband and I used to run all the time (which we can't do as much now because he's schedule's all crazy because he's in school) we wrote it on the wall.  We have a big chalkboard wall and one section has a calendar exclusively for exercise, it helped when it was solidified in writing.