having a very bad day.week.month.year.
i could really use a laugh, any jokesters out there?
What did the fish say when it ran into the concrete wall?
Dam.
cracked.com always makes me feel better...
Two rednecks were sitting around drinking beer when one said to the other:
"If'n I was to sneak over to your house and have sex with your old lady and she got pregnant, would that make us kin?"
The other thought for a moment and then said, "I don't reckon it would make us kin, but it would make us even."
What's brown and sticky?
A stick.
A man was in his front yard attempting to fly a kite with his son. Every time the kite went up into the air, it came crashing down. This went on for a while until his wife stuck her head out of the front door and yelled, "You need more tail!"
The husband yelled back, "Make up your mind, I told you yesterday that I needed more tail... and you told me to go fly a kite!"
Original Post by amethystgirl:
What's brown and sticky?
A stick.
HEY!!!
haha, thanks guys. this was the first post i ever made, im just so desperate for a smile. it really means alot that you guys responded so cleverly ;).
asiodlak
Original Post by hkellick:
A man was in his front yard attempting to fly a kite with his son. Every time the kite went up into the air, it came crashing down. This went on for a while until his wife stuck her head out of the front door and yelled, "You need more tail!"
The husband yelled back, "Make up your mind, I told you yesterday that I needed more tail... and you told me to go fly a kite!"
HAHAHA
Original Post by hkellick:
Two rednecks were sitting around drinking beer when one said to the other:
"If'n I was to sneak over to your house and have sex with your old lady and she got pregnant, would that make us kin?"
The other thought for a moment and then said, "I don't reckon it would make us kin, but it would make us even."
eeee heee hee loving it!
What's the difference between beernuts and deer nuts?
Beer nuts cost $1.49, and deer nuts are under a buck.
Original Post by purespark:
What's the difference between beernuts and deer nuts?
Beer nuts cost $1.49, and deer nuts are under a buck.
hahaha! thank you so much guys.. i am going to friend you all..i have isolated my entire time being on here and its so great to see you all help me out.
Original Post by amethystgirl:
What's brown and sticky?
A stick.
GROANER lol
What do you do when your maxi pad catches on fire?
You tampon it
HEH the last few were great (deernuts, tampon it) XD
What was the last thing that went through the bugs head when it hit the windshield?
His butt
Original Post by lauraclarkcosta:
What was the last thing that went through the bugs head when it hit the windshield?
His butt
My Dad told me that when I was like 11, and I couldn't stop laughing for an hour xD
hahaha these are HILARIOUS
lol tampon it!
Here's a new stress management technique that really works!
Stress management technique recommended in all the latest psychological journals. The funny thing is that it really does work and will make you smile.
1. Picture yourself lying on your belly on a warm rock that hangs out over a crystal clear stream.
2. Picture yourself with both your hands dangling in the cool running water. 3. Birds are sweetly singing in the cool mountain air.
4. No one knows your secret place.
5. You are in total seclusion from that hectic place called the world.
6. The soothing sound of a gentle water fall fills the air with a cascade of serenity.
7. The water is so crystal clear that you can easily make out the face of the person you are holding underwater.
There!! See? It really does work. You're smiling already.
Man walks into the bedroom with a sheep under his arm while his wife is in the bed.
Man says this is the cow I sleep with.
His wife jumps up and says you are so stupid that is a sheep not a cow.
Man says if you were not such a persumpsuous B**** you would realize I was talking to the sheep.
hahah that one definitely made me laugh
What is the diet for kidney stones?
For kidney stones, you should drink at least three to four quarts of fluid (preferably water) everyday. There are several kinds of kidney stones... Read more