need a little confidence booster in my ability to do this.

so i have to go in for regular weigh ins to stay in school, and at my most recent weigh in i gained 2 pounds (yay) - even though it was scary, i know its progress.

while ED in the back of my head says its bad and ill never stop gaining weight, i've been able to eat more calories than i ever have in so long...which is exciting, even though i havent exactly started "enjoyign" it as much as i could, bc, as many of you know, it's terrifying. but at the same time, liberating and exciting to feel in control!

but the doctor that is weighing me said something me that shocked me. he said he didn't think i had the ability to continue to actively gain weight. that he didn't have confidence in me. that he doubted i'd be able to do it. kind of like suggesting that i withdraw of school and go to IP (my bmi is about/ almost 17 right now, up from about 16/high 15) - but i was pretty sure i was doing a good job! have any of you had to deal with drs or anyoe like that...what have you done to keep pushing forward, and what sort of motivation do you give yourself to keep going with active recovery when people seem to lose faith that youre strong enough to do it?

i know i can, i really do, but after seeing him it just is like..if a doctor says you can't do it, wtf.

what sort of mantras do you guys have when you reach points like this?

Some people respond to a challenge, for instance:  The Doc. telling you that you couldn't do it may have been his way of making you think..."Well I'll show you, I can gain, you just wait and see".

This approach doesn't work with everyone though and I find it a bad way for a doctor to go.  It could send the wrong message, like it did to you.  Don't let it get you down.  It sounds like you're doing well, just keep it up.

Think about what youve done already.  You have raised your bmi by 2.  Keep up the good work and keep telling yourself you can do it.  Because, you know what YOU CAN.  Oh and one more thing check out the weight gain forums they are probably more suited to your needs then health and support.  Your doing the right thing FOR YOU not for that doctor remember that.  Oh and good luck!!!!

I don't have a mantra, but here something that happened to me:

Nurse that I hated- ''You cannot do this. It's too hard for you. You'll need many, many hospitalizations to make you realize you can't do this at home. You're gonna stay in the hospital for a long, long time.

Me-...Go away, you annoy me.'' (I almost said 'shut up, you f%%() witch!')

And  a few days later I left the hospital and moved to OP program.

He might be trying to get money out of you. I'm sure you're doing a great job--it sounds like your in a good state of mind. How much would an IP program cost you as opposed to what your paying for medical treatment now?

doing IP would be expensive compared to this, and not to mention, i'd have to take a semester off of school (i'm currently a junior in college). this doctor is through the university health and medical center, and in order to stay in school they require me to meet with him and basically do as he says. (whatever tests or blood work or appointments he orders or sets up, i must do.) if i go below 80 lbs or don't increase my weight consistently throughout my stay at school, i get kicked out.

well i have to disagree with your doctor im afraid it is possible to do it at home . i came hom,e at a bmi of 10 and ive managed to get to a bmi of 17 . i think where ever possible it is far better to do it at home for me hospital worsened my anorexia. its about mind set and your strength to fight the ed . yes it will be hard but i have confidence in you to . doctors arnt always right you know i think if you want recovery badly enough you can do it . i found recovery easier at home as i could go at my own pace i could start building my life up again and be around normal people. for you i see school is important . you prove him wrong hun. for me what keeps me mptivated is knowing what ive been through thinness dosent bring happines it just isolates you from the world and leaves you living a very fragile life. think how much better you feel just by gaining the bit you have yes mentally its scary but you can get through that it will get easier im prove of that so do your best and im sure you will suceed and you have a forum of people here to help you h xx

I think some docs use different approaches. I am not sure if he is concerned and wants you to be safe so this was a way to get you to the hospital, reverse psych,or he is being harsh. I have been ip many times and regained the weight now first time op. I think if your physical health is in danger you need to be in a hospital. If you are stable and feel you can move forward on your own then I think op is good cause you are facing life. I had a doc say to me oh your still alive because he thought I would die and I saw him in passing. I guess at the end of the day you must hold to hope. In my real life I have lost a lot of support because I was sick for so many years but I tried to focus on the people who stuck by me. So I encourage you to do that as well. If you get to a point where you are not making progress school will always be there but your health won't.

NEVER let anyone tell you that you can't do something good or positive. Whether or not he was playing head games with you is irrelevant - you just go ahead and succeed at your goal regardless. Nothing EVER motivated me more than hearing I couldn't do it - and you have such reason and motivation. It would have messed me up so badly to miss part of college (even though I'm a student again for a different major) and I wouldn't have met my husband. Don't let this doc put your life on hold, but do yourself the favor and keep gaining, maybe even up the calories. Eat cheesecake in front of the man if you have to! A whole one!

thank you so much for the support here. so far, in the past week, i've gained another pound (up from 82 to 83...LW somewhere around 77-80ish but at my first weigh in was 80....i'm 4'10 1/4ish'' by the way, used to be closer to 4'11'', but sadly, i think i shrunk a bit with ED...). so he wasn't as awful this week. being in school is SO helpful, because i'im living away from home on my own and am very busy doing things that make me happy. and seeing the life that i can live motivates me to keep gaining weight, because a sick weak girl can't do all of these things! he said he can't do it but i'm doing it, so far, at least. i've essentially constructed my own outpatient program at school wtih the help of a cognitive behavioral therapist, a nutritionist, the weigh ins and a psychiatrist to consider meds. keeping track of my hleath is critical, obviously, but i'm not fighting anybody about it becuase being strong and healthy to live my life and to graduate in a year and half and be an independent woman is SOOO important to me.