I need to lose, daughter needs to gain, food ideas

I am at a loss as how to shop for foods that will not tear down my resolve by having them around but will also help my daughter gain. She does not have an eating disorder (that I can tell) but tends to be way too thin and needs to gain about twenty lbs. If I buy high cal foods then I will not be able to resist, but if I buy all low cal foods she will not get the cals she needs. This is becoming a real problem. Any food ideas that would work for both of us?

Whether you're trying to gain or lose weight, you should try to eat healthy, so I'd definately keep a lot of fresh fruits and veggies, as well as everything else needed for a well rounded diet.

You could also try making a low calorie dinner, but with add ons that could boost it up in calories. Like making pasta for both of you and her having a creamier sauce with hers (tends to be higher in calories) while you have a low cal option, or less sauce with a smaller portion.

You may also want to get her in to the doctor for a checkup. Needing to gain 20 lbs to not look too thin sounds like a bit much without an eating disorder. You could also speak to a nutritionist who would be able to give more suggestions.

Yeah I agree with basing meals around 'add ons'.

e.g. Baked potatoes with salad -on top of daughters she could have regular cheese etc. on top of yours you could have cottage cheese

Fajitas - in daughters she could add guacamole, cheese etc, whilst you just stick with chicken and vegetables in yours

Keep bread on the table for her to eat with her dinner, but skip it yourself

Both of you need to eat lots of fruit and veg and wholegrains - base meals around a healthy component and add or take away calories as needed with toppings/portion sizes/extras etc.

I understand all too well the problem of temptation when faced with tempting foods.  But I'm here to tell you that if I could overcome it, so can you.  You need to have strict portion control for yourself.  Always serve something you can eat a lot of, such as broccoli, cauliflower, spinach, etc.  Pile that on your plate and then measure out your sensible portions of other foods.  Set the high calorie sides and sauces at her end of the table, or have her add them to her plate in the kitchen.

Or - give her high calorie snacks in between meals. 

I've dealt with that same situation in the past with a family member.  The way I handled it worked.  I fixed a lower calorie healthy meal and offered bread and butter for those who didn't need to lose weight. 

Also, I always had (and have) a higher calorie side dish such as potaotes.  I'd have a small portion and they could have as much as they wanted.  If I did baked potatoes, I'd have half with my favorite cottage cheese, and put out the richer toppings for them (sour cream, cheese, bacon bits etc) 

I put some cheese sauce on the table for them to add to their broccoli or cauliflower, or other vegetables. 

I tossed the entire salad with my lower calorie homemade dressing, served my self a bowl, and tossed in olive oil for everyone else. 

For breakfast, if you have the time before school, make her 2 scrambled eggs, a piece of turkey sausage, and a piece of whole wheat toast with some light butter or sugar free jelly on it.  Between breakfast and lunch, maybe some celery and peanut butter.  Lunch, she could have a lunch meat sandwich with lettuce, tomato, etc.  Another snack could be some pita chips and hummus for when she gets home from school, or maybe a cup of tomato soup with some pirate's booty.  She could more "munch" on the pita chips and hummus, while you could just have a serving of the pita chips with a tablespoon or two of the hummus.  For dinner, really anything with lean meats and vegetables, just remember portion control.  And let her have a bowl of fat free ice cream or fat free pudding or sugar free jello with some cool whip and fruit for dessert.  You could always have one or even 1/2 serving of this as well.  She doesn't need to eat Lay's potato chips or donuts to gain weight.. just the healthy stuff, but make sure she's eating enough.  And you'll feel treated too if you're getting a serving of pita chips and hummus!  I always do!

I agree with what everyone else has already said. Keep it healthy, but do the add on's at meals and have high cal (but healthy) snacks for her. Maybe some protein bars- Larabars, Luna, Clif, etc. ALso, I don't know if this is something you would want to consider, but something like Ensure or Boost Plus?? It's a nutrition supplement in a shake form. I personally can only stand the Chocolate flavor, but I know lots of people who think they are good. My grandma freezes them and eats them like ice cream! Just some ideas! Hope this helps!

- Salmon, Mackerel, Tuna, Sardines, Sable Fish, really any fatty fish will do for both of you! While they are loaded with healthy fats, they also tend to be a bit higher in calories than say... Tilipia or Cod... Both of you can benefit for sure

- Olive Oil: What a great way to add on some calories while eating delicious food and healthy fat - Olive Oil is extremely healthy and definitely promoted on any diet, and in access can be part of a weight gain program - so if you want to use it, have olive oil on the dinner table and sprinkle over your steamed broccoli, etc and have your daughter... sort of douse hers! ha ah.

- Flaxseed Oil: Same goes with this oil as does Olive except this oil should not be heated so use it strictly has a drizzler after the foods are cooked or as a salad dressing.

- Olives & Avocados: Both of these foods are full of the same fat from olive oil (Omega-9s) which will also benefit both of you, so load up!

- Whole Eggs (Try and Find Omega-3 Enriched): Your daughter should/could have maybe 2 or 3 whole ones at a meal while you can have 1 whole one and 2 to 3 whites - delicious and filling for sure.

Wow, thank you so much for all the replies! I love the 'add on' idea and can't wait to give this a try.

same food, different quantities.  the only exception i would suggest is full fat milk for her (if she'll drink it; 2% if not) and skim for you.

I'd also get her in to see a doctor if she needs to gain 20 pounds! Throughout my teens I was tiny (104 lbs, 5'5"), ate everything I pleased, and couldn't gain a pound. Then my adult metabolism kicked in... Does she have a small frame? That may just be her natural build.

Does she have a locker at school? Could you send some higher calorie snacks to school with her to keep in her locker? That will remove temptation from you, and make them readily available to her (you don't even have to remember to pack them in her lunch bag each day).

Original Post by katesorad:

And let her have a bowl of fat free ice cream or fat free pudding or sugar free jello with some cool whip and fruit for dessert.  You could always have one or even 1/2 serving of this as well.  She doesn't need to eat Lay's potato chips or donuts to gain weight.. just the healthy stuff, but make sure she's eating enough. 

Fat free ice cream (or pudding) or sugar free jello doesn't actually qualify as healthier.  If anything, it's less healthy than ice cream (or pudding) made from fewer ingredients.  Instead of giving your daughter fat free ice cream, get a tub of the good stuff - the kind that has a short ingredient list where you can pronounce everything (or just about everything).  Then she can have a serving of it and you can have a mini-serving.  (I find 1/4 cup of Ben and Jerry's more satisfying than 1 cup of the fat free stuff.)